Year: 2010

  • Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

    There is nothing I would like more than to be able to completely recapture all the technological angst of the last five days. But honestly so much time and Valium have passed since then, I’m not sure I can remember all the details. However, I will do my best.

    (You know this isn’t going to be brief.)

    Last Friday started off like any normal day, except Caroline is in this new phase where she wants to bring her lunch to school and I had to start off my morning heating up Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup in the microwave (gag) while she repeatedly reminded me “DON’T FORGET TO CUT OUT THE BOX TOP! I NEED THE BOX TOP!” because we are in the midst of a box top obsession since the class with the most box tops gets a free pizza party. At this point I would just buy them a pizza if it meant I could get all the labels back on my canned goods and not waste any more time opening up Cream of Mushroom when what I wanted was Chicken and Stars.

    Anyway, I spent most of the day at home since the temperatures were only in the twenties and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to don my white Michelin Man coat which is the only coat I own that is warm enough for that kind of weather because PMS + looking like a giant marshmallow = Insecurity. But I finally got a little stir crazy around noon and decided to venture to Hobby Lobby to look at some fabric Holly suggested for pillows.

    While I was waiting in line at Hobby Lobby (I had to buy 1/2 yard of fabric to have enough to tell if it was going to work because the lady cut a sample for me that was smaller than my thumbnail) I checked Twitter and saw that someone tweeted that she couldn’t access my blog. And I thought, BLESS HER HEART something is wrong with that poor girl’s computer because my blog is working fine.

    I was on my way to pick up Caroline from Brownies when Sophie called me and asked if I knew my blog was down. And, also, that it said ACCOUNT SUSPENDED DUE TO BILLING ISSUES. Like it wasn’t bad enough that the internet had unceremoniously dumped me, it was also trying to shame me.

    I didn’t even know the internet and I were having problems.

    Apparently the internet was afraid of confrontation and just decided to SHUT DOWN the blog instead of talking to me and explaining where it all went wrong. It was all very reminiscent of a break up I had in college, except that it didn’t end with me eating a one pound bag of M&M’s while I sang along with Sinead O’Connor as she sang “Nothing Compares 2 U”.

    Although I did put a sizable dent in P’s inventory of Peppermint Bark.

    Anyway, the short version of the technological side of things (as best I understand it) is that the flux capacitor got overloaded and caused the server to crash. Then the people in charge of my old server decided that I needed a different server. So I called the new people to find out about getting on a new server and they wanted to ask me questions about my bandwidth usage and the circumference of the moon and if Venus is in retrograde. And I don’t know any of those things because I went to high school back when we learned how to write DOS code and then majored in Speech Communications which isn’t really even a real thing because it’s just about talking. I majored in talking and made it through my FIVE YEARS of undergraduate work without ever having to turn on a computer, although I totally rocked at the Brother word processor. So don’t ask me about bandwidth and EPP codes because I DON’T KNOW.

    By the time Monday morning rolled around, my frustration was at an all-time high. Then to make matters worse, I realized the new hosting company had attempted to send me several emails to update me on the situation and my personal email had blocked them all causing further delays. So now the internet had broken up with me, shamed me and is now just MOCKING me. Hateful.

    On Monday afternoon I got off the phone with my new friend Larry from tech support and he’d just informed me that I may have to blah, blah, blah and that it might be another 72 hours to FIVE DAYS before things got up and running again. P walked in the kitchen and I started to cry. Like real tears. Because after three days, I’d reached my limit of not understanding one word that anyone was trying to say to me. I said, “It’s not even about the blog being broken. I’m just tired of dealing with it all.”

    All of a sudden I heard Caroline say “OH MAMA, IS THE BLOG BROKEN?” as she started to cry. And poor P just stared at both of us and probably never wished more that he was sitting in a tripod somewhere, covered in doe urine and waiting for a buck to walk out.

    The good news is that everything ultimately worked out okay. According to the tech support experts, the blog may still need to propagate for about twenty-four hours, but let’s not even pretend that I understand what that means. Basically, the internet and I have reunited and, if I may quote Peaches ‘N Herb, it feels so good.

    And thanks for all the emails and the twitters and the emails to Sophie about my whereabouts. It made me feel a little warm and fuzzy to know that I was missed. I promise I will never just up and leave without telling you where I’m going because that would be rude. Do you hear me, internet? RUDE.

    Also, if you’re ever trying to access this site and there seems to be a problem and you wonder if it’s you or if it’s me?

    Always put your money on me.

  • Oh my word

    I KNOW.

    I woke up this morning and just discovered that the blog is finally back up.

    It’s a long story that I’ll tell you later (lucky you!), but the short version is that I have been beaten like a rented circus monkey by the internet for the last five days.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition it’s on sale

    It is so cold here right now. And I say that with the full realization that many of you laugh in the face of a nine degree wind chill. A nine degree wind chill is a little thing you refer to as balmy picnic weather. For me it means that I want to spend the day in flannel pajama bottoms, an A&M sweatshirt circa 1993, and a Snuggie.

    Except I don’t own a Snuggie.

    And I certainly wouldn’t go buy a Snuggie. But I secretly hoped that someone might give me one as a gag gift for Christmas. Then I could have all the comfort a Snuggie offers without the shame of knowing I paid $14.99 for some type of gimmicky blanket when I could get the same results by wearing my robe backwards.

    Anyway, I decided to share a couple of things (or thirteen) that I’ve seen on sale. You know, just in case you have any Christmas money burning a hole in your pocket.

    1. Sea Cliff Cluster Ring

    I love big rings. I’d love them even more if I had long, slender fingers and they actually looked good on my hand. But you can’t always get what you want.

    Just ask Texas fans.

    Oh I kid because I love.

    And because I’m a little bitter that the Aggies haven’t been good since last century.

    If you’re like me and are long, slender finger impaired, then you might want to opt for a new statement necklace like the Soho Sparkle Necklace.

    2. Crinkle Cascade Dress

    I have nowhere to wear this dress but I think it’s so cute.

    3. Short-sleeve Cable Knit Pullover

    I’ve had my eye on this for a while. It’s the perfect thing to wear with jeans and boots on normal Texas winter days when the temps plummet to the low 60’s.

    4. Crocheted Cowlneck

    This sweater is just gorgeous. I love the cowlneck, the color, the length. All it needs is a cami or tank to wear under it because otherwise it makes a whole different kind of statement.

    5. King’s Road Coat

    You know I’m always on the lookout for a darling coat. And a darling coat on sale is even better.

    6. Zella Reversible Favorite Pants

    I figured I better throw in some yoga pants since I believe they are a wardrobe staple and, if you wear yours as much as I wear mine, there’s always a need for new pair sans bleach spills. Hypothetically speaking.

    7. Calvin Klein Diamond Quilt Satin Coat

    Because this is the winter that is proving global warming to be a big fat lie, I’ve discovered that I really don’t have a good winter coat. I have several mid-weight jackets and trench coats because I can’t resist their appeal. But when it comes to any kind of coat that offers real warmth, I am out of luck.

    Well, except for this white puffy down jacket that I bought from J. Crew about a million years ago. It kept me warm as I slid on my bottom down ski slopes during the early years of my marriage when P and I routinely chaperoned ski trips full of high school students. Now it just makes me look like the Michelin Man.

    Yet I have been desperate enough to wear it on more than one occasion.

    8. Timberland Lexiss Tall Boots

    I bought these boots for myself way back in the fall before they were ever on sale. And they have been worth every penny. I ADORE THEM.

    They are comfortable, warm and even waterproof.

    But these brown suede boots by Wanted are another great boot option.

    9. Thin-striped Pajama Pants

    These are actually on sale for about $8.00 in the store. I bought myself a pair and then went back the next day and bought another pair. I don’t know what kind of cotton they are made from but I think they are what heaven will feel like. Assuming heaven is like a pair of super comfortable pajama pants that you would wear in public if you weren’t in your late thirties.

    (See how I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m no long approaching my late thirties?)

    10. Embroidered Drape Wrap

    I was originally looking to see if this Sigrid Embroidered Dress was on sale because I fell in love with it this fall but resisted due to a price tag that hurt my wallet’s feelings.

    And yes it’s on sale.

    But no they do not have my size.

    However, I discovered the embroidered wrap and think it’s just beautiful.

    11. Sprinkled Chiffon Top

    There again, I really have nowhere to wear this. But SHINY! SPARKLY!

    It would be the perfect thing to wear if you have any field trips planned with someone special.

    12. Trunk Show Scarf

    Scarves are my new best friend. And this year I’ve discovered that they aren’t just for fashion, but for function. Who knew?

    13. Velvet Eden Blazer

    I believe a velvet blazer is a good staple item for any closet. It can be dressed up or down, but it’s hard to find a good one at a great price. Get ’em while they’re hot.

    (I don’t know why I just said that. It’s late. I’ve taken my prescription cough medicine. I apologize.)

    There is no way to convey the sadness I feel over ending with the number thirteen, but I hate to delete anything and I don’t have the energy to look for anything else. So, thirteen it is!

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • Because more is more

    Look what showed up on my front porch via UPS yesterday afternoon.

    Guess which member of my household discovered that Williams-Sonoma has their peppermint bark on sale?

  • The light in the midst of my illness or allergies

    Okay, I have to keep this brief because I am pretty sure that I’m coming down with some sort of cold. Which, if you’re playing along at home, is the second cold I’ve had in less than a month. I told P that I was getting sick because I woke up with a scratchy throat (always a sure sign of impending illness for me) and he said it’s just all the cedar in the air. Apparently the cedar count is THROUGH THE ROOF.

    But in my experience seasonal allergies don’t garner nearly the same amount of sympathy as a cold so I’m sticking with my cold theory. However, I may or may not take a Zyrtec later on just in case it’s the cedar. And really, it’s not like any sort of malady gets me much sympathy around here. It’s like I think if I’m sick that Caroline will tell me to put my feet up while she fetches me a warm blanket and some chicken noodle soup.

    As a matter of fact, last night I told her I wasn’t feeling well and was going to take a hot shower. She told me she was STARVING (starving in her vocabulary means that she could eat half a chicken nugget) and could I please fix her dinner first. She wanted fish sticks and macaroni and cheese. I said, “It will take a while for the oven to preheat. Let me shower and get in my pajamas while the oven heats up and then I’ll fix your dinner.”

    She replied, “Go ahead and microwave that mac and cheese before you get in the shower. I’ll have it now for an appetizer and you can get the fish sticks to me later for my main course.”

    What a fount of sympathy and concern. And also a child who has eaten at her fair share of restaurants. I didn’t know what an appetizer was until I discovered fried cheese at Bennigans when I was a freshman in college.

    But enough about me having what is probably the flu. Let’s talk about the biggest excitement in my life right now. Seriously, I am so excited.

    For several years now there has been a sweet girl named Holly who reads my blog. She and I have emailed back and forth over the years and she even ordered some sugar cookies from one of my very best friends for her son’s birthday party. I don’t really know what that has to do with anything, but I just felt you should know. Oh, and she’s a fellow Texan.

    Anyway, at some point, Holly mentioned that she is an interior designer and I didn’t really think much of it because Caroline was just three years old at the time and I was kind of out of the home decorating mindset since my living room was basically decorated in a style that can only be called Early American Fisher Price with a hint of Naked Baby Doll thrown in for good measure.

    Then one day I was looking around Holly’s blog and noticed a link to where she’d been featured in Better Homes and Gardens in 2005. And, you won’t believe this, I totally remembered that entire article because I had LOVED her style so much. I don’t even subscribe to Better Homes and Gardens but just happened to buy that issue way back in 2005 while on a business trip. I even tore out pages from the magazine to keep for future ideas because I used to keep a big file folder full of future home decorating ideas before I started this blog and abandoned all other hobbies.

    So, Holly and I were emailing back and forth one day about a month ago and I casually mentioned that I wished we lived in the same town because I would totally hire her to come help me make some changes to my living room because it’s grown a little tired and stale. (Did you see the pictures of those ducks swimming under my pew yesterday? I need some help.)

    And Holly emailed me back with the best news I’ve ever heard.

    We don’t need to live in the same town because she totally does consultations and design work over the internet. She said I could just send her some pictures and she’d help me put together a plan and give me some ideas on how to freshen things up based on my budget. It can all be done through the email. My living room will be forever indebted to Al Gore for inventing the internet. TECHNOLOGY IS A WONDER.

    I emailed her back and said SIGN ME UP. We decided to wait until after Christmas because of the tree in the living room and all that, but now I’ve spent the last two days snapping pictures of my living room from every possible angle and sending them to Holly with helpful descriptions like “It’s not a goldy-gold, but more a of brownish-gold” and “It’s a little bit of leopard print but kind of cheetah-ish” and “I don’t know what I like but I’ll know it when I see it”.

    Bless her heart.

    But the amazing thing is that after just two of my incredibly helpful, insightful emails, Holly began to email me back with ideas and suggestions that I adored. She is totally getting my taste and what I want. Which is amazing considering that I didn’t even know what I wanted.

    As we go through the whole thing, I thought it would be fun to do occasional posts on the progress with before and after pictures. It’s not going to be anything extensive (especially since I promised P when we bought this couch that we’d keep it until Caroline hauled it off to college while complaining that she can’t believe I’m making her take our beat up old couch) but I think it will show how some small changes can make a big difference. And, also, how the internet is AMAZING because how else can you explain that the person that I saw featured in Better Homes and Gardens FIVE YEARS AGO BEFORE I EVEN HAD A BLOG is helping me decorate my house.

    (Well, not my whole house. Just my living room. At least until I can sweet talk P into getting off his wallet so I can make some changes in the kitchen.)

    Lastly, you have got to go check out Holly Mathis Interiors. Her creativity astounds me. Plus she might be able to help you since, THANKS TO THE INTERNET AND DIGITAL CAMERAS, she isn’t limited by proximity.

    Hooray for technology.

    And hooray for finally getting rid of the fake plant that resides behind my couch for the sole purpose of catching dust.

  • There may be some useful information here, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up

    There was a point last week after all the Christmas festivities were over that I began to think how sad it was going to be when Caroline had to go back to school. But then P left town for four days to go hunting with some friends. Caroline and I spent those days playing vast amounts of Monopoly Junior and putting the same Scooby Doo puzzle together over and OVER again while watching G-Force which, if you don’t know (and if you don’t have kids then why would you?), is all about some guinea pigs in the special forces.

    Then I let her sleep with me in my bed and she pulled off her socks in the middle of the night, flung them on my face and said, “Here. I’m tired of wearing these now.” Never mind that I was sound asleep and didn’t really need to know about her sock issues. It was a combination that caused my sadness over the impending end of Christmas vacation to wane just a bit.

    So yesterday marked our re-entry into the real world. Actually it marked her re-entry. P took her to school so I spent most of the morning in my pajamas immersed in important internet research. Namely, trying to see if anyone has this Lucky Brand leopard print coat on sale yet. It appears the answer is no.

    But I felt like I’d earned a little bit of down time, especially since we spent the last day of vacation going to a birthday party that involved ice-skating. As in, I had to put on shoes of death and attempt to glide across an icy surface with my thirty-eight year center of gravity.

    However, P picked up some delicious sandwiches for lunch which caused me to rally. We got the rest of our Christmas decorations safely tucked away in the attic and achieved something that hasn’t happened in this house since FOREVER.

    Oh sure. It may just look like a piece of furniture to you, but it is a piece of furniture (with ducks swimming under it apparently) that we move into our bedroom every year to make room for our Christmas tree. And it usually remains there until mid-April. I spend countless hours staring at the blank wall across from our couch and think about how we really ought to move the church pew but then I see something shiny on T.V. and forget about it.

    But this year it’s already back in its rightful position in the living room. HOORAY FOR 2010, you have already exceeded my expectations.

    Also, hooray for Martha Stewart who taught me a little trick about moving heavy furniture by placing towels under it and sliding it across the floor. She also taught me how to make beautiful ponchos but that’s a story for another time because it would be complete fiction and I’d have to make it up first.

    Anyway, thanks to Martha, I moved that pew before and after Christmas ALL BY MYSELF. In fact, while I was in the midst of sliding it back to our bedroom before Christmas, P walked in the back door, saw me pushing that pew across the kitchen floor with it jacked up on two beach towels and said, “I’ll be outside if you need anything”.

    Because why would I need help moving a 200 pound piece of furniture. I mean, I had beach towels to help me.

    Although yesterday he did help me PIVOT it into the living room which probably saved a large chunk of our wall from being sacrificed at the hands of the Martha Stewart moving method. Honestly, I’m not even sure I learned it from Martha. It might have just been on HGTV or an episode of Friends. I can’t remember.

    I realize this post passed the random mark about four hundred words ago (Who cares about my pew? Who needs to know about the beach towels? Is it important that my child threw socks in my face?) and if you don’t care about football then please feel free to quit reading at this point.

    Is it just me or has this bowl season been the most random one in the history of bowl season? I don’t want to offend anyone but if someone had listed these bowl games match-ups back in August, I would have thought they were making it up. Frankly, I’m bored.

    And I realize there’s still a big game to come on Thursday, but I don’t really want to talk about it.

    I’d rather bask in the glory of my furniture-moving success.