Year: 2011

  • In lieu of actual words

    So I was thinking it might be fun to just show you a few pictures I’ve taken with my phone over the last week or so.

    (Actually, I wasn’t really thinking that at all, but it sounds better than saying I’m tired and ready to go to bed and can’t come up with anything interesting to say.)

     

    This is Caroline and Will at the baseball field about a week ago.  Someday Gulley and I are going to have set these two loose on the world.  Look at those expressions.  Heaven help the world.

    Caroline with my nephew Luke at a Mexican restaurant. Luke is almost seventeen months old and still prefers to spend the majority of his time looking like a muppet. I could eat him up.

    About two weeks ago, this is what the rose bush in our front yard looked like. Sadly, it doesn’t look like that anymore.

    After church on Sundays, Caroline likes to eat a chocolate donut. And save some of the chocolate on her face for later. This week she preferred to eat her donut while wearing my sunglasses.

    Playing in the sprinklers and eating a popsicle. What else do you do when it’s already 100 degrees outside?

    I adore this picture. And I adore that girl.

    Finally, if ever a picture completely summed up Caroline, this might be it.

    I’ll be back tomorrow when I’ve hopefully regained some knowledge of how to use the English language to form sentences and maybe even paragraphs.

  • Helicopters and hogs

    I’m sure that y’all have been on pins and needles wondering what we did this past weekend. Good news. The wait is over.

    It was actually a long weekend for us because Friday was a school holiday. What holiday, you ask? Battle of Flowers.

    No, you didn’t miss a memo. It’s only celebrated here in San Antonio as part of the ten day extravaganza known as Fiesta where faux royalty zoom at high speeds down neighborhood streets with a police escort to get the faux king to various elementary schools on time so he can hand out faux medals. Viva Fiesta.

    Anyway, there’s a big parade and a lot of whoop-de-do, but we missed all that because P and Caroline headed down to the ranch for their annual helicopter hunt. For those of you who may be new, I should probably explain that P has a good friend who’s in the military. This friend makes it into town about once a year and a rancher friend of P’s always takes this opportunity to rent a helicopter so they can do a big helicopter hog hunt because wild hogs can turn into a big problem on ranches if the population isn’t controlled. They tend to party way too much and tear things up and wear lampshades on their heads while wandering around looking for their beer bong.

    I know it will shock you to learn that I usually choose to stay home.

    Plans for the helicopter hunt began to take shape a few weeks ago when P confirmed that his friend was going to be able to make it into town before he gets deployed next month. There were emails and phone calls and strategies about ammo and weaponry. P heads up a small group geared towards hunters for our church. (Is it just me or can you guess he also watches Nascar just from that last sentence?) A large part of their purpose is to use the wild game they kill to provide meals for the homeless so P invited the sportsmans’ group to the ranch for the hunt to help out. One of my happiest moments of last week was when I read an email he’d sent out to the group. I’ll spare you the whole thing and just share my favorite excerpt:

    “As soon as the hogs break cover we will take a knee and ready ourselves. On command we will rise and shoot. WE WILL ONLY SHOOT OUT IN FRONT OF US. AS SOON AS THE HOGS BREAK THROUGH OUR LINE OR TURN OFF, THE FIRING WILL CEASE. AT NO POINT WILL YOU BE ALLOWED TO SHOOT AT HOGS IN THE FIELD!!!! The reason for this is we will have LOTS of people, livestock and vehicles out and about. This not negotiable. If this rule is broken we will shoot you, process you and feed you to the homeless!”

    And he signed it “Grace and Mercy in the name of Jesus, P”.

    Not really. But it makes me laugh to think about it.

    It would appear though, that for all our differences, we share a love of the ALL CAPS to make our point.

    Caroline was able to be a part of the helicopter experience for the first time last year and she’s been begging to do it again ever since then. Naturally, she was FIRED UP about the whole thing. I would really prefer that my dear family remain on the ground the way God intended when he gave us feet and not wings, but I realize I cannot let all my irrational fears rule our lives or there’s a good chance we could all end up living inside a bubble like John Travolta did in that movie. Providing that bubble had access to reality television.

    So I spent the week taking deep breaths and reading Psalm 91 and, really, I was feeling okay about the whole thing.

    Until Thursday night.

    You may remember that I attempted to bake a cake with an antiquated cake mix and then had to resort to cookies only to discover I was out of vanilla. I was not going to be deterred from my cookie mission so Caroline and I walked across the street, bowl in hand, to borrow two teaspoons of vanilla from our neighbors. They invited us in and Bill asked Caroline what she was going to do this weekend. She answered, “Ride in a helicopter and shoot hogs.”

    Well, sure. I have no doubt that’s exactly what he was expecting her to say.

    He replied, “Wow! I’ve never even been in a helicopter. Does it have doors and seatbelts?”

    She thought about it for a minute and said, “Nope. It doesn’t have doors or seatbelts. Just a big pole in the middle that I have to hold onto.”

    And that’s when I passed out and dropped my bowl of newly acquired vanilla extract.

    We walked back across the street as I breathed into a paper bag and were barely in the house when I asked P, “Does that helicopter not have doors or seatbelts?” He looked at me like he felt sorry for me and said, “Of course it has seatbelts, why would you think it didn’t?”

    I looked at Caroline and she looked back at me with a sheepish grin on her face. Apparently she appreciates the art of creating some drama to make a story better.

    They left the house about 6:00 a.m. on Friday morning. I wanted to be worried but I fell right back asleep thanks to the hefty dose of Benadryl I’d taken the night before in an attempt to fight off the pollen. A few hours later I woke up to the sound of a text message on my phone and was relieved to see this.

    And this.

    What does it say about me that it makes me want to say, “That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do.”?

    They returned home at the end of the day, dirty and exhausted, but with big smiles on their faces and one of them was jumping up and down with excitement over all the fun. That P. He gets so keyed up.

    That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do.

  • A spoonful of giveaway helps the Monday go down

    Do you remember way back on Friday when I said I had a really great giveaway planned for today? Well, I wasn’t lying. I have a great giveaway today.

    If you aren’t familiar with Tracy Porter, then you’re about to fall in love. Click on over to my giveaway page to discover some serious fabulousness and enter for a chance to win.

  • Fashion Friday: edition today comes with a discount code

    One of P’s best friends came in town last night for a quick visit and I felt like the occasion deserved some type of homemade dessert. Please note that I didn’t feel like it deserved a home cooked dinner. Actually, that’s not true. It did deserve a home cooked dinner but it was so much easier to pick up barbecue instead.

    But I was committed to dessert.

    So I rummaged through my cabinets and found a chocolate cake mix and some caramel candy, everything I needed to make a turtle cake. But the cake mix looked funny. Perhaps because it had expired in 2005. A fact that would have been good to know before I added in three of my last five eggs.

    I scrapped the cake because I read some horror story on the internet about someone dying from eating expired cake mix and everyone knows the internet NEVER presents the worst-case scenario.

    Fortunately I had everything on hand to make chocolate chip cookies. Except I was halfway through the process when I realized I couldn’t remember if I’d already added 3/4 cup of sugar. Also, I was out of vanilla extract.

    And that is why I need to stick to fashion

    (See how I just made that transition?)

    Okay, so before I show you the cute things I want to tell you two important things:

    A. On Monday I’m going to post about a great fashion-related giveaway. You don’t want to miss it so make sure you come back on Monday.

    B. Francesca’s is one of my favorite shops. And they’re offering 30% off any regular price item to Big Mama readers from today through Friday, April 30th. Just use the code BIGMAMA at checkout.

    So here are some things I really like this week:

    1. pretty posies tunic

    So since you have the opportunity to get 30% off at Francesca’s, I thought I should show you a few of my personal favorites.

    I love the posies tunic in green. It’s actually great in all colors, but I have a deep desire to have something in emerald green. While I wouldn’t wear this as a dress, it would look great with white jeans and gold jewelry.

    This summer stripes scarf is the perfect piece to throw on with a t-shirt and a cute skirt.

    I also adore this dropping in necklace.

    And there is nothing better than a great straw bag for the summer. Something like this beach bum tote.

    (Not that you asked, but the FCC or CIA might be curious. Francesca’s has not compensated me in any way to offer this discount code. They just gave me the chance to give y’all a 30% discount and why wouldn’t I do that?)

    2. tinley road ruffle detail knit dress

    Piperlime had a maxi version of this dress about a month ago and I adored it. But I also really like this shorter version because it would be so easy to dress up or down. Can’t you picture it with that dropping in necklace from Francesca’s? And maybe some cute turquoise sandals?

    Because I totally can.

    3. tell me your story eyelet dress

    Did I mention I’m in the market to add some green to my Spring wardrobe? The verdict is out on whether or not this could actually be a dress for anyone over 25, but it would be a great tunic with leggings or skinny jeans.

    4. charming cavort dress

    I thought this was just darling.

    5. melie bianco zoe bag

    Turquoise is such a great color for Spring and Summer. Remember that time last year when I painted my kitchen turquoise and left it that way for three months before I painted it? Good times.

    This purse would be a much simpler way to add a little turquoise to your life.

    6. mossimo ruffle neck tank

    I saw this in Target a few days ago and it stopped me in my tracks. Love it.

    7. ettie leather wedge sandals

    And while I was in Target I saw these darling wedge champagne sandals with a flower accent. I nearly bought a very similar pair at DSW for twice the price. These are a deal.

    8. jeweled beaded linen kurta tunic

    I wish I could get this picture to work on my blog just because it is so pretty. Love the orange and turquoise together.

    9. scoop neck tees

    Old Navy is the best place to buy t-shirts for summer because they’re inexpensive and come in any color of the rainbow. And stripes! Currently, they’re on sale for $7.50 each if you buy 2.

    10. ae embroidered floral tunic

    Gulley and I saw this in American Eagle this week and really liked it. It’s made of the softest cotton and would be perfect to throw on all summer long.

    That’s it for today. I wish I could offer you all a homemade chocolate chip cookie, but really you’re better off.

    Also, don’t forget your taxes are due today. God bless America.

    (**Edited to add: Nevermind about the taxes. Apparently the deadline is the 18th this year. This is why you should never listen to me about anything.)

    Y’all have a great weekend.

  • The titles, they elude me

    I could go into some big elaborate reasons for why I’m talking in bullet points today. That is, if big and elaborate could be qualified by BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.

    1. I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know that the tooth has landed. I repeat, the tooth has landed.

    It was still hanging on when I picked Caroline up from school yesterday so we drove to HEB and bought some Orajel. I put some on her gums, she gave the tooth a good tug, and out it came. She was so excited that she knocked over a full glass of water and dropped the tooth on the floor. Chaos and pandemonium ensued.

    But, in the end, the tooth was located and all was well. It is currently awaiting pickup by the tooth fairy.

    Caroline looks so dang cute with her little snaggletooth I can hardly stand it. I could sop her up with a biscuit.

    2. I’d been keeping Gulley apprised of the tooth situation for the last few days, so I called her to tell her the news. As soon as she answered the phone I said, “THE TOOTH IS OUT”.

    She gasped and asked, “ABOUT WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?”

    It would seem she thought I’d said, “THE TRUTH IS OUT” and thought I was on the verge of some sort of confession. Which is hilarious considering that if Gulley doesn’t know something about me, it’s only because it isn’t true. She knows it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

    But I appreciated her enthusiasm for some potential drama.

    3. Last night I dreamed that the message light came on in my car to notify me that my tuxedo was ten years old and I needed a new one. I woke up completely stressed out over the thought of having to buy a new tuxedo.

    Needless to say, I was so relieved when I became conscious enough to realize I don’t own a tuxedo and, furthermore, don’t need one.

    4. I’ve recently gotten on a sparkling water kick. I pour it over ice and then squeeze in a ton of lime juice. It’s become my nightly mocktail.

    My sparkling water of choice has been Topo Chico because I like the way the bottles look. Kind of retro and vintage-y. But then P pointed out that most people don’t typically think of Mexico as the source for great water, much less do they pay for it in bottles no matter how cute they may be.

    He makes a good point.

    5. I finally committed to a pair of neutral-colored wedge heels. We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

    They look like this except mine have cork wedge heels which I think makes them much cuter.

    I bought mine at Rack Room. And of course I only paid $15.00.

    6. Sometime last week my friend was complaining about getting hormone-related blemishes (Yes, blemish. It’s the only word I can tolerate for facial issues. The other ones gross me out.)

    I made a huge error in judgement and said, “You know, I have other hormone-related issues such as wanting to throw the toaster out the kitchen window on occasion, but I don’t really get many blemishes”. And less than 24 hours later, I had something on my face that looked like a third eye. When I looked at it in the magnifying mirror it growled at me.

    Gulley helped a sister out and told me about a miracle in a tube. Neutrogena On-the-Spot Acne Treatment. She said it would be gone the next day and I didn’t believe her. That’s just what people say to make you feel better.

    But it was. IT WAS GONE THE NEXT DAY.

    (This is not a paid endorsement. It’s just love.)

    7. Friday Night Lights starts tomorrow night at 7 p.m. on NBC. If you’ve never watched, you need to go get the first four seasons and watch them before then. Or you could pace yourself, whatever.

    8. We still don’t have beveled glass in our front door. Is anyone surprised?

    9. I realize I haven’t announced the next book club selection. That’s because I haven’t decided on it yet.

    10. There is no ten. Except now there is. But there’s nothing here.

    Have a great day.

  • Hanging on by the skin of a tooth. Literally.

    So the big news around here is that one of Caroline’s top front teeth is on the verge of coming out. The fact that she’s held onto them for seven and a half years seems pretty remarkable considering most of her friends lost their two front teeth at least a year ago and are already sporting the big permanent awkward teeth that are a right of childhood passage. It would appear that Caroline is a late dental bloomer.

    Her front tooth has been loose for about a month. And for the last month I’ve talked about getting her picture taken while she still has her baby tooth because PRECIOUS MOMENTS FLYING BY. But like with all things in my life, I procrastinated until it was too late.

    She got in the car after school yesterday and immediately showed me how loose her front tooth had become during the day. I mean the thing is literally twisting in the wind. (I’m using Rachel Zoe’s definition of literally here. The tooth was not, in fact, actually twisting in the wind. But it could have been.) As soon as we got home, I made her stand in the yard so I could take one last picture of her with her top baby teeth intact because I’m a sentimental sap and the whole thing made me feel a little emotional because I’m going to be forty this year, I have a new wrinkle above my eyebrow and my baby is going to have big teeth.

    (Yes. I also have PMS. Why do you ask?)

    Here is what could possibly be the last picture of Caroline with her baby teeth.

    I don’t know if you can tell but the tooth is so loose that it kept getting caught on her lower lip when she talked. Essentially she spent the rest of the day looking increasingly like a hillbilly.

    A very cute hillbilly, but a hillbilly none the less.

    You may also notice that we are in the midst of an attempt to grow out her bangs. It’s taking every ounce of restraint for me not to grab the nearest pair of scissors and go to town, but instead we’re resorting to various clips and bobby pins that don’t really work so well by the end of the day.

    I have only myself to blame because I was the one who suggested it might be a good idea to grow out her bangs for summer so they’d be easier to keep out of her face while she swims or whatever. After contemplating my suggestion for a few moments she said, “Well, the thing is, I know I look adorable with my bangs so I’m sure I’ll look adorable without them.”

    If only I could walk in that kind of bangs victory.

    Anyway, by dinner time her Billy Bob tooth was hanging by a thread but P and I didn’t want to anger it. And by “it”, I mean Caroline and/or Billy Bob. So we took the advice of The Beatles and let it be.

    Personally, I’m hoping she’ll run into someone at recess or during soccer practice and it will literally get knocked out.

    And this time I’m using literally in its literal sense.