Month: May 2013

If I seem distracted while I write this post it’s because I have something in my eye. And I’ve had something in my eye since around noon. But when I look in the mirror and roll my eye all around I can’t see anything.

Which makes me fear that maybe I’ve scratched my eye and I’ll have to go to the optometrist and maybe even have to wear a patch.

Before you laugh at that, you should know that this actually happened to me in ninth grade. I got a speck of paint in my eye and it had to be lasered out and I had to wear an eye patch for two weeks. If you can think of anything that is more damaging to a fourteen-year-old girl’s self-esteem than wearing an eye patch for two weeks in front of all her peers, I sure wish you’d share it with me.

Anyway, I just attempted to go rinse it out with saline solution because that was P’s suggestion. I think he suggested it because he was tired of hearing me talk about my eye. And it doesn’t seem to have helped but that could also be because I’m not good at putting anything in my eye and the majority of the saline solution ended up running down my cheeks and the front of my nightshirt. Which is really just a twenty-year-old UCLA baseball t-shirt and doesn’t really deserve to be called a nightshirt.

But you probably aren’t here because you were curious about the state of my eyes.

So now I’ll just tell you what we’ve been up to over the last several days.

I spent most of Friday at the Alamo with a bunch of fourth graders. It was every bit as soothing and peaceful as you might imagine. And while my child loved the IMAX movie beforehand about the Alamo, she wasn’t nearly as impressed with the actual structure. Which is understandable considering it’s right in between two hotels and across the street from Ripley’s Believe It or Not Wax Museum. It lacks a little of the raw frontier-ness she was looking for. In fact at one point we were walking across a grassy area behind the Alamo and there were all these holes in the ground and she asked, “MOM? Are these the BULLET HOLES?”

And I hated to tell her that it was just where they’d recently aerated the grass.

But she did get to buy a Dr. Pepper from a vending machine so it’s not like the whole day was a total loss. I also nearly passed out from the heat because summer officially showed up last Friday and apparently it’s very angry.

Then we spent Friday evening at home doing nothing but waiting for the results of Caroline’s soccer tryouts because P and I were both feeling sick. Not sick because of the tryouts. I think we both had a cold. But we did wait for the soccer results like it was the NFL draft. Which is funny because we knew she’d make one of the teams and it didn’t really matter to us which one.

And so we spent Saturday basically doing nothing but texting with other parents as we figured out who was on our team for next year. I remember when we used to have a life.

By Sunday I was still feeling kind of yuck and P and Caroline had a trip planned to go fishing. They left to fish and I caught up on four episodes of Call the Midwife, last week’s Nashville, and watched The Philadelphia Story for the 4,564th time. I also may have gotten caught up in a bit of a colored cut-off shorts frenzy. As in, I decided I might want a pair and spent a significant amount of time looking at various options on the internet.

Sadly I didn’t sleep well on Sunday night because I never sleep great when my people are out of town. But I think it was exacerbated by that night’s episode of Mad Men and the woman that broke into Don Draper’s apartment. If you watch the show then I’m curious if you agree it was one of the most bizarre episodes ever.

And so I spent most of Monday trying to be productive but failing miserably. Although I did drop some clothes off at Goodwill and ran by Target to buy dog food and a few other things we needed. Then when I came back home I walked up to the back door with my hands full of bags and the key in my hand.

That’s when I noticed there was a chameleon on the back door about six inches above the lock that I needed to unlock to get in my house. I’ve never missed Caroline more. She would have just picked him up and moved him. I guess I could have done that but it seemed easier to think about selling our house.

So I stared at him for six minutes trying to Jedi mind trick him into moving. But he just stared at me. I finally just decided to unlock the door quickly and that’s when he jumped. He jumped. HE JUMPED ON MY ARM. HE JUMPED ON MY ARM THAT WAS CARRYING ALL THE TARGET BAGS.

And then I died.

The end.

Not really. But it felt like it.

So that’s what we’ve been up to around here. Soccer, fishing, head colds, insomnia, T.V., and lizards.

And possibly a patch for my eye.

I realize I didn’t post anything yesterday and today isn’t going to be much better. But I haven’t felt great all weekend and hardly slept at all last night. I wish I could give you a reason but I think it just falls into the category of “Things That Happen in Your Forties”.

So here are a few things I wanted to mention:

1. Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Oklahoma. I’ve been watching the news reports all day and the images are unbelievable. It is just devastating.

Here’s a link to an article that lists organizations and ways you can help the people of Moore.

2. I really cannot express the impact that Amy Grant’s music has had on my life. I first heard her music when I was at camp during the summer after fourth grade. And I immediately came home and bought the Amy Grant In Concert Live cassette and played it on my sweet stereo system with dual cassette players until it was completely worn out.

I’ve continued to be a huge fan over the years. Like she falls into the category of people I would act totally weird around if I ever actually met her in person.

And that’s why I was so excited to download her first brand new album in ten years. It’s called How Mercy Looks From Here and features some of my other favorites like James Taylor, Carole King, Sheryl Crow and Vince Gill.

I can’t express how much I love it. It’s become my personal soundtrack over the last month. Best of all, one of you has the chance to win a signed copy of Amy’s new CD. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post letting me know your favorite Amy Grant song of all time.

(Just for clarification, the CD will be signed by Amy. Not me. Because that would be strange.)

3. Every year Willow Creek Church puts together a Global Leadership Summit with the purpose of equipping leaders whether in a church or business setting.

This year it’s scheduled for August 8-9 and features speakers like Brene Brown, Colin Powell, Mark Burnett and Andy Stanley. So, you know, some people that seem to know some stuff.

There are host sites everywhere, but I wanted to mention to those of you in the San Antonio area that my church, River City Community Church, is one of the local sites this year. And if you register by May 21, then you can qualify for the early bird discount rate.

So that’s it for today.

Don’t forget to leave a comment for a chance to win a signed copy of Amy Grant’s How Mercy Looks From Here CD.

I hope the title didn’t lead you to believe I would be discussing underwear today. Because you’ll just be disappointed.

The truth is I feel a little bit of a head cold/sinus issues arising (tearing up watching The Office finale didn’t help) and my head feels heavy and I want to crawl in bed sooner rather than later. Especially because I’ll be up bright and early to chaperone a field trip to The Alamo. As in, remember the.

So, without further adieu, here are a few things I found this week:

1. mitered stripe maxi dress

I am powerless to resist a good maxi dress and this appears to have all the makings of a good one. Love it in blue or pink.

2. afternoon out top

For a long time I was conflicted about the return of mint green. But now I think I mostly feel good about it.

3. sheer chevron coverup

I believe I have to have this coverup. It’s a little fancier than my coverups of yore, but maybe I’ll turn over a new pool leaf.

I have no idea what that means.

4. ruched mini knit dress

Now this? I love. It also comes in some other colors.

5. strapless print blouson dress

I realize this isn’t for everyone. Or for most people. But I really think it’s cute and summery. If I were ten years younger and going on some fun beach vacation, I would totally buy it.

6. sweet life dv sandal

I’m sad I can’t show you a picture of these sandals because I saw them the other day and decided they were the perfect nude sandal for summer. Best of all, they’re on sale for only $19.99 right now.

7. magenta dinner plates

What? Plates? This is madness.

I saw these on Nordstrom’s website and thought they were too cute to not share. So fun for all your summer entertaining.

8. santorini printed dress

I really love this blue. And you could totally wear this over white skinnies or black leggings.

9. timeless tee

I’ve mentioned this before, but the timeless tee from Banana Republic is one of my favorite staples. They hold up well and last forever.

10. essential rib tank

The same goes for Gap tanks. I know they’re cheaper at Old Navy, but the Gap ones last longer and just feel a little bit better. I also think they lay better under clothes.

And there you have it.

Y’all have a good Friday.

Okay.

I realize it’s just Thursday. And I still plan to do a normal Fashion Friday tomorrow. But here’s the thing. I have spent the last week in full-blown purse obsession.

I mean, seriously, like I’m not normal. In fact, I tweeted earlier this week that if I devoted the amount of time I’ve spent looking for a new purse to doing something productive, there is no telling what I could accomplish.

The thing is that the need for a new purse caught me off guard. Last summer I found this darling coral purse at TJ Maxx for a steal and I totally planned to carry it again this summer. In fact, I looked forward to the return of the coral purse. But sometimes the problem with a $35 purse from TJ Maxx is that they don’t last forever. And I noticed this one had some small holes beginning to form in the genuine pleather.

So I’ve been searching for a replacement like it’s my full-time job. And figured that since that’s all I’ve achieved this week then I might as well share my results with you in case you too are in need of a new handbag for summer. Or anytime.

You will notice that I’ve included various price points due to my inner turmoil of being frugal versus going big or going home.

1. Danielle Nicole Nola Tote

I came so close to buying this bag. Especially because I had a 20% off coupon to Piperlime. But I was torn about the black trim and whether or not it fit into my life.

2. Tinley Road Abigail

This one is still in the running. First of all, I loved having a coral bag last summer. Second, it’s just a great style.

3. Opportunity to Pop Bag

If you’re a fan of the bright summer bag, then this might be for you. It’s a great yellow with crochet details that make it really stand out.

4. Big Buddha Dixie

I’m still seriously considering this one. I love a Big Buddha bag. And this one comes in white, black or a delightful camel.

By camel I mean the color, not the animal. Real camels aren’t necessarily delightful. In fact, they’ve been known to spit. Or maybe that’s a llama. I can’t remember.

5. Michael Kors Kempton Nylon Tote

These Michael Kors nylon totes are so cute and come in a bunch of great colors.

6. Girl with Curves in Cobalt

Yes. Cobalt. I realize that may seem like an odd color choice but it’s really pretty and received great reviews.

7. Hudson Ostrich-Embossed Tote

Listen. I adore this bag. And I’m sad to report that earlier in the week it was $100 less. But due to my commitment issues, I missed that boat. Which is a real shame because this would be a great year-round bag that would last for years.

8. Tinley Road Mika

For those of you who don’t need to pack your purse like you’re leaving on a three hour tour with Gilligan and the Skipper, this is a really cute choice. Love the raspberry color.

9. Old Navy Multi-Stripe Straw Tote

I was in TJ Maxx earlier in the week looking for an unbelievable handbag deal (Alas, I didn’t find one.) and saw a straw bag that I really liked. Then I remembered that I always like a straw bag in theory, but they tend to be a little unwieldy.

However, I like these straw bags from Old Navy because they aren’t structured. Just fun straw in bright colors for only twenty American dollars. Not bad.

10. Chloe Marcie Leather Satchel

Listen. You don’t even want to know.

All I really knew about Chloe bags before this week was that Jeff on The Bachelor referenced one as he wooed Emily and compared her child to a precious vintage Chloe bag. Which seems like an odd statement for a man to make.

Then I walked through Neiman’s on Monday and saw this bag. And I touched it. And it was like butter.

The reasons I would never buy it are twofold. First, I would become that weird woman who just carries her purse with her everywhere she goes with it wrapped in a plastic bag. And, second, I couldn’t afford it even if I decided to sell all the plasma in my body. But I just wanted to share it with you so you could take comfort in knowing that somewhere Jennifer Lopez is probably carrying this exact bag.

Or maybe it’s the purse she lets her daughter use when she plays dress up.

And so there you have it.

I’ll keep you updated on any further purse developments. I know you can’t wait.

Well. It happened tonight.

The moment I knew would happen from the moment the doctor told me I was having a girl. Honestly, a moment that I’ve dreaded because how do you discuss such a delicate topic? How will I know that I’ve given her the right mix of advice, wisdom and counseling to know what’s right? How do I keep her from having some of the regrets I’ve experienced?

Now you’re wondering what happened. I’ll tell you.

Caroline looked at me after dinner and said, “I’ve really been thinking about it and I might want bangs.”

And then I got up and poured myself a glass of wine.

Actually, that’s not true. I topped off the glass of wine I was already drinking.

While my heart raced on the inside, I calmly asked, “Why do you think you might want bangs?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Some girls in my class have them and they look adorable.”

Yes. So do Reese Witherspoon and Taylor Swift. How many times have I fallen into that trap? Certainly if Reese Witherspoon’s professional hair stylist can make her bangs look perfect, then I should be able to create those same results with a $3.99 bottle of Tresemme’ mousse, a cheap round brush, and the coordination of a monkey after a bottle of tequila.

But instead of freaking out and going on and on about how a person who thinks that a legitimate hair-styling technique is to go to sleep wearing a Santa hat while her hair is still wet probably isn’t ready for the maintenance that bangs require, I just said, “You know? Summer might be a bad time to try bangs since we’re at the pool almost every day.”

C cocked her head and looked at me like she does when she’s deep in thought and said, “Well, I think maybe I’m ready. And I can always grow them back out if I don’t like them.”

Sure. Let’s go back to those days because it was so much fun to grow them out when you were five. I’m sure it will be even better now that you’re older and a little more emotional.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens.

And, honestly, it’s not Caroline’s fault. The continual internal debate over bangs versus no bangs is part of her genetic makeup. I have cut bangs and loved them for two weeks and I have cut bangs and regretted it immediately. I have spent months of my life attempting to blow dry my bangs into submission and years clipping them back with bobby pins as they grew out. Yet I continue to pin pictures of hairstyles on Pinterest that involve bangs and never fail to ask my hairdresser if I should do it all over again.

 

(I’m including this picture as a visual aid. I cannot look at it without thinking maybe this time will be the time that it will all come together for me. Dang, Reese, you do me so wrong.)

To my hairdresser’s credit she doesn’t roll her eyes and throw me out of her chair when I show her the above picture for the 164th time. She just quietly discourages me as she reminds me that I have an unfortunate cowlick that keeps my bangs from lying flat the way good bangs should and that it never ends well.

Which I guess means my bangs have a lot in common with this post.

I never mentioned last week that a fairly miraculous thing happened. As long as you don’t believe that I mean that literally.

My iPhone has been brought back to life.

You may remember that I mentioned over a month ago that my phone died constantly. I mean it would show that I had 78% battery life left and then just die. Usually in the middle of a fascinating text conversation between Gulley and me about my quest to find a new purse.

Needless to say, it was desperate times.

It got to the point that I basically had to have my phone plugged in at all times or it would die. As you can imagine, this was terribly convenient and also reminiscent of the dark days of the 1980s when you could only move as far as the twisty cord on your phone would allow.

And I just never took the time to go to the Apple store to get help with my phone. Why you ask? Because I’m an idiot with no sense of proper priorities. Need a new purse? MUST GET IMMEDIATELY. Unreliable phone that dies at the drop of a hat? Let’s wait a few months on that to see how annoying it can be to me and everyone around me as I constantly complain about it and yet do nothing.

On Thursday morning I finally pulled myself together, made an appointment at the Genius Bar, and took my phone in, mentally preparing for the worst. By which I don’t mean an Apocalypse. I mean I might have to upgrade to a new phone and there would go my new purse budget. But they ran a quick diagnostic test, determined I had a defective battery (You don’t say?) and gave me a new battery free of charge.

It has changed my life. I am once again walking in phone freedom and had no idea how much I’d taken it for granted. I can text extensively and talk for hours and check email and never have to charge my phone. And this could have happened months ago if I had any sense of urgency regarding things that actually matter.

I’m the worst.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know about my phone because I walked around most of the weekend feeling this huge sense of accomplishment regarding my phone that now works the way it’s supposed to. Imagine if I did something that actually took real effort.

So on Friday Caroline’s class hosted their annual Mother’s Day tea. She’s had the same teacher for first, third and now fourth grade and the tea is something they’ve done every year. It’s one of my favorite things ever. They work so hard to make it special and her teacher puts a slideshow together from the school year and you’re basically guaranteed to get a little teary unless you’re dead inside.

Friday night we picked up barbecue which was a departure from our usual Mexican food, but we like to play it fast and loose over here. Predictable? Not us.

Truthfully I was just excited because we had nothing planned for Saturday. No soccer, no basketball, no macrame’ classes even though we’ve never taken a macrame’ class. I can’t really explain how lovely it felt to sleep in Saturday morning and know we had a day of absolutely nothing we had to do ahead of us.

So P headed down to the ranch and Caroline and I went to watch Will’s baseball game. Then the kids put the hard sell on Gulley and me to take them to the pool for the first outing of the season. We agreed to it as long as they realized we weren’t even wearing our swimsuits to the pool. That’s how committed we were to not getting in the freezing water.

Honestly, we didn’t think they’d last more than an hour because we’ve had a lot of rain and not a ton of super warm days and it’s not like any of them are gunning for Polar Bear Club membership. But they proved us wrong and we ended up staying at the pool for four hours.

And here’s the beauty of having an eleven, nine and eight year old, they were totally self-sufficient. They got their own snacks, they performed elaborate routines off the diving board and Gulley and I were able to sit and visit for four hours about everything from hair to football.

The only low point came when I made a trip to the concession stand to order Gulley and me a couple of beers and some chips and salsa. First of all, they were out of tortilla chips. I don’t even understand how this is possible, but I feel it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the summer. May is too early to be out of chips. That’s the kind of thing that happens in August when everyone is over the pool and only there because what else do you do when it’s 106 degrees outside? I’m a little ashamed to say that I resorted to buying a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos to fulfill my chip craving.

(On a related note, the purchase of the Nacho Cheese Doritos caused me to confess to Gulley that my favorite after school snack when I was in high school was Doritos with Cheez Whiz melted on top of them. There are so many health issues regarding this snack even if you don’t factor in that I was basically eating my proper dietary sodium allowance for the month in one sitting.)

The other low was the conversation between the high school boys working in the concession stand. I’m going to write it out for you to do it justice.

Boy 1: “Dude, have you seen Shawshank Redemption?”

Boy 2: “Yes, that’s an awesome movie. What’s that guy’s name that plays Red?”

Boy 1: “Oh yeah, I think his name is Nelson Mandela.”

Y’all.

I don’t even know.

Hope you had a good weekend.