Month: November 2013

Before I even begin I feel like we all need to have a moment of silence because yesterday the Oxford Dictionary officially added “selfie” as a word.

Welcome to our future, America. A world where we’re in debt to China beyond all reason but it’s all good as long as we document ourselves pulling through the Sonic drive-through to get a Route 44 Diet Coke.

Personally, I would have chosen “champipple” to become a real word. The champagne cocktail favored by Fred Sanford. But, like most things, no one asked for my opinion.

And while I’m giving opinions no one has asked for, here’s another one. Dear Stores of America, you need to settle down about Christmas. It’s going to happen. December 25th comes every year and Americans will open their wallets eventually to buy all manner of Christmas gifts. But can we please have a minute to just enjoy the holiday of the turkey?

I felt it the day after Halloween when our neighborhood shopping center immediately had two giant Christmas trees flanking the entrance and green and red garland everywhere. And I knew it when Gulley ran into Santa Claus at HEB on November 9th and had to tell him to go back to the North Pole. But I really noticed it yesterday when I was out running errands.

My first stop was Target. And, granted, I brought it upon myself since I willingly walked to the back of the store to look at all their Christmas decorations. In my defense, it was only because I know they’ll be out of all the good stuff by Black Friday and I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything I couldn’t live without.

(There wasn’t. Although they did have some really cute stockings.)

And then I ran in several other stores that were all playing Christmas music. Which, fine. I enjoy the Christmas music but it was 92 degrees here yesterday and so I kind of felt like Frank Sinatra was mocking me as he sang “Let it Snow”.

But the killer was when I ran in Michael’s to look for some paint for a project Caroline is working on. Here’s what I need to know. Who decided that the overwhelming scent of fake cinnamon is the official fragrance of Christmas? I became so carried away with the sheer amount of decorations and disoriented from my faux cinnamon smell induced headache that I almost put two light up reindeer with moving heads in my cart before I came to my senses and remembered that P and Caroline would probably just use them for target practice.

I ended up leaving without buying anything because I was in desperate need of fresh air. And that’s when I walked over to Whole Foods and saw a whole selection of live Christmas trees for sale. Did I mention it was 92 degrees yesterday? All those things are going to be good for by mid-December is firewood.

And even poor Santa was already sitting in his Santa house. In a red velvet suit. No one wants to sit on Santa’s lap when he stinks from sweating in his Santa suit all day.

And here’s the thing. I love Christmas. That chunk of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas brings me some of my happiest memories every year. But it’s also nice to take a deep breath that doesn’t smell of manufactured cinnamon and think about turkey and dressing and cranberries and broccoli rice casserole and all the things we have to be thankful for without being interrupted by a giant light-up Santa that says “Ho, ho, ho”.

It’s a marathon, Santa Claus. Not a sprint.

And I’ll be ready for you. A week from Friday.

You know what warms a mother’s heart?

When her ten-year-old daughter, all showered and sweet-smelling in her pajamas, announces “I’m going to run outside and check the rat traps before you tuck me in!”

Yes. This is what my life has become.

P came home on Thursday and Caroline couldn’t wait to tell him about the wildlife we encountered living outside my bathroom window. He immediately pulled out his arsenal of various rodent traps (Sadly, this isn’t our first rat rodeo.) and the two of them got to work concocting irresistible offerings with which to entice a rat and/or mouse. Basically their strategy was some Laffy Taffy left over from Halloween stuck on a glue trap.

The next day Caroline couldn’t wait to see if their traps worked. I’m sad to report she showed an enthusiasm usually reserved for Christmas morning.

But, alas, we are obviously dealing with the Yogi Bear of the rat family. By which I mean that he is smarter than the average rat. Because he has stayed away from our Laffy Taffy and our peanut butter and even some cheese. He is like John Travolta, staying alive.

Really the hunt for the rat was the most exciting part of our weekend. And that was fine with me. I was thrilled to have a weekend that involved no soccer or any other obligations. The Aggies even had the weekend off so I was able to watch college football like a normal person who doesn’t get overly emotionally invested.

On Friday night P was at the ranch and Caroline and I stayed at Gulley’s house until early evening and then picked up dinner and headed home. We watched Monsters vs. Aliens and it was as exciting as it sounds.

Then Saturday morning we slept in and spent most of the day in our pajamas. Caroline was fighting either allergies or a cold and wasn’t anywhere near her normal energy level. She built a fort in her playroom and one in the corner of the living room and was content to migrate from fort to fort as the day went on.

Later that night we had some friends over for dinner. I cooked Pioneer Woman’s braised short ribs with mashed potatoes and Mix and Match Mama’s cinnamon roll cake for dessert. It was the perfect fall comfort food meal. The only problem was it was about eighty-five degrees outside.

And that about sums it up.

Except I did make an unfortunate discovery that I want to mention. Last night I was messing around on the computer and somehow stumbled across an old google email address that I created a long time ago but never check because it’s not an address I ever use. Well, apparently, if you subscribe to my blog by email, and have ever replied back, your reply has gone to that google email address that I never check.

I can’t even tell you how sad this makes me because I try my best to respond when people email me and all of a sudden there were many sweet emails that I’ve never answered because I didn’t know they existed. I really shouldn’t be allowed to own a computer.

So if you’ve emailed me and been thinking I was so rude because I never even bothered to answer, please know I’m not rude, just technologically incompetent. From here on out I’ll try to check both email addresses unless some computer wizard can tell me how to combine all that email into one account. Or better yet, can just do it for me.

And finally, on a completely unrelated note, have any of you ever read C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy? It’s called Out of the Silent Planet (Space Trilogy)Chronicles of Narnia years ago.

But you never hear anyone say, “You know what’s great? C.S. Lewis’s books about space.” Yet, it’s C.S. Lewis. How bad could it be? Anyway, I went ahead and ordered the first one but just figured someone out there has read them and might have some thoughts. Or at least some other suggestions for a good series of books to read aloud.

In the meantime, I’ll just be here waiting to see if rats can resist the combination of Laffy Taffy with a side of peanut butter.

I just got home from eating Mexican food and need to get to bed. Fortunately, I’d already found all my fashion picks earlier today.

So let’s get started:

1. north pole cowlneck sweater

This week has made me feel like I may need a few more sweaters in my life. This is a good candidate.

2. textured knit baseball top

I keep looking at tops like these and one of these days I may actually buy one.

3. sequin dot tank top

Gulley and I had a discussion this week about the necessity of a good sparkly top to get you through the Christmas season. This is a great one to layer under a jacket.

4. candy ruffle sweater

I didn’t even know this existed until just a few minutes ago and now I’m not sure how I’m going to live without it. Free People, why can’t I quit you?

5. hue wide waistband leggings

I mentioned these a few weeks ago. They are some of my favorite leggings and right now they’re 25% off which makes them only $27.

6. suede ankle boots

A few of you asked about the booties I had on in the group picture from yesterday’s post. These are what I was wearing. They’re from Zara and I love them so much.

7. fluffy faux fur jacket

Okay, I happened to run by a local boutique the other day, saw this and immediately bought it because I just knew. I knew like you know about a good melon. It is the softest thing ever. Like the inside is made of angel wings or something. I love that I can make it dressier with skinny black pants or throw it on over a t-shirt and yoga pants.

8. knit chevron scarf

I love these chevron scarves.

9. aspen hooded sweater

This is a great sweater. I love the colors and the pattern. So cute with boots and jeans.

10. grace and lace nellie knit scarf

Remember the gameday boot socks I featured a while back? She also makes scarves. I happen to love this one.

And that’s it for today.

Y’all have a great Friday.

Last night I spoke to the PTO at Caroline’s school and it was officially my last speaking event of 2013. And there is something so nerve-wracking about standing in front of people that are part of your every day life because you know you have to see them again.

But I did it and everyone was so nice. I love our little neighborhood.

I hesitate to share this next bit of news because I don’t want to cause envy. But today I have both an eyebrow wax and a mammogram scheduled. It’s really everything I dreamed of when I was a little girl. Between that and my shoulder pain, the early 40’s are shaping up to be awesome.

Speaking of my shoulder pain, it’s so much better. It’s almost as if I had to speak it out loud for it to get better. Or maybe y’all just scared me straight with your stories of frozen shoulders and years of physical therapy and multiple steroid shots. I’ve decided that maybe I really did just sleep on it wrong.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but Gulley and I eat lunch together almost every Tuesday. It’s a standing date and we hardly ever have to reschedule. Usually we meet at a restaurant in the neighborhood, but she’d asked me if I’d come over and help her clean out her closet so I picked up Popeye’s chicken for us and headed to her house.

(I feel that you might be interested to know that Popeye’s Chicken has a special two-piece Tuesday. Two pieces of chicken for ninety-nine cents. And that’s a deal because Popeye’s is the best of all the chicken.)

Anyway, we ate our chicken and caught up on current events and our thoughts on Olivia Pope and then went into Gulley’s bedroom to evaluate the state of her closet beginning with fall and winter clothes. And I got so tickled because it’s safe to say that I’ve seen her wear the majority of clothes she owns, but she would pull out various items, hold them close to her chest and say, “Before I show you this I need you to know that it’s really soft and I like this color.”

It was like clothes’ therapy. And apparently I’d be a terribly unsympathetic psychologist because I’d give it a once over, tell her I hadn’t seen her wear it in three years in spite of the fact that we see each other almost every day and move it towards the Goodwill pile.

We also discovered that I’m not the only one holding on to a Texas A&M sweatshirt from days of yore when people felt that a real sleeve needed to be at least ten inches wide.

What were we doing in the mid-90’s that required that level of sleeve girth? I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because that was back when we were young enough to move our shoulders around with wild abandon.

And then she brought out something that I can only describe as a tragedy.

This is a sweater I featured on Fashion Friday about a year ago.

Here’s the problem. I liked it because in the picture on the website it appeared to be tunic-length. Like you could wear it with leggings.

I think we can all see that no one should wear this sweater with leggings. It’s like one of those cropped sweaters we wore with our high-waisted jeans back in 1992.

After I finished laughing, I confirmed with Gulley that she had not inadvertently washed and then dried this sweater causing it to shrink beyond all decent knitwear. And she hadn’t. This is what it looked like when she took it out of the package.

So the question becomes why on earth did she keep it?

I’ll tell you her reason.

Because it was too hard to return it.

I don’t even understand.

Naturally I’ve now insisted that she run all new purchases by me and in the unfortunate event that she orders something else off the internet that comes in the size of a dust rag, I will help her pack it up and ship it back.

It’s just too bad we couldn’t take a little of the extra material from the sweatshirt sleeves and add it to the bottom of that sweater.

Except what it would gain in practicality, it would totally lose in any type of fashion appeal.