Big Mama Blog

In search of the light

I’ve started this and deleted the first sentence about twenty-six times in the last thirty minutes. Because sometimes there just aren’t words. Or as Forrest Gump says, “Sometimes there aren’t enough rocks”. I don’t write about current events very much. Not because I don’t care, but because I usually want this to be a place where we can laugh and try to find the lighter side of life.

But right now that place seems hard to find.

If you had asked me on Friday morning what I was going to write about on Monday, I’d have told you it was going to be all about the last six days we’ve spent in New York with Mimi and Bops and my sister and her family. And there is so much to tell.

It was precious time spent with people I love. Getting to show Caroline the city of New York at Christmastime will go down as one of my favorite memories ever. Especially Friday morning when we went to visit Santa Claus at Macy’s on 34th Street. Watching her face light up as she told him what she wanted and Santa taking the extra time to discuss the Percy Jackson books she’s currently reading made it one of those magical moments I’ll remember always. It was one of those rare times when real life surprises you with so much joy.

And I guess that’s part of why I couldn’t stop the tears when we made it back to our hotel later that afternoon and I learned the full extent of what occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary. Because while I was watching Caroline and my niece, Sarah, experience the very best of childhood magic and wonder, there was a school of precious littles, just sixty miles away, experiencing horror beyond comprehension.

Honestly, I don’t even think I can let my mind fully go there or I may never be able to get out of bed again. It’s too much. Too much sadness, too much agony, too much hurt.

As a parent, I hear bad stories and tend to mentally list all the reasons that could never happen to Caroline. I pay attention. I don’t leave her at home alone. I don’t let her walk down the block without watching to make sure she arrives safely at her destination. I make sure I know everyone she comes in contact with in the course of a day.

But what happened Friday shatters any illusion we have of being in control. Those parents dropped their babies off for a day at school. A day that should have been filled with learning how to use verbs in a sentence or adding numbers or eating paste like every other elementary school kid. And the unfathomable happened.

And now there are Christmas presents that will sit unopened, and hearts that are forever broken, and lives that will always bear the scars of a cold Friday in December that was probably filled just hours earlier with weekend plans to look at Christmas lights and visit Santa and drink hot chocolate.

I don’t have any answers because I don’t think we’ll understand as long as we’re here on earth. But here’s what I do know.

I know that this is not our home. I know that there is a God in heaven who is good and faithful and true even when nothing makes sense. And I know that we live in a fallen world filled with sorrow and tragedy and madmen capable of terrible things.

I know that there is no better time than Christmas to remember that God sent his son into the world to save us all from darkness and sin and certain death. And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.

One of the parts of the Christmas story that’s often swept under the rug is the mass murder of innocent children at the hands of a crazed King Herod that caused Joseph and Mary to flee with Jesus to Egypt. There’s no way to make that look pretty. No way to dress that up as part of the manger scene with wise men and shepherds and maybe a cow for good measure.

Yet it’s there. In all its ugliness and darkness. But it’s easier to deal with because there is time and distance. It’s part of history. There aren’t pictures of those precious faces all over Facebook, but they, too, were babies whose lives were cut tragically short and left behind parents filled with unimaginable grief.

The truth is our world is filled with darkness and always has been. Satan comes to steal and kill and destroy. And what feels more destructive and violent than innocent lives, who embody the very tenderness of God, filled with so much light and promise and possibility with freckles across their sweet faces?

I know that we are called to be a light in a dark world. And, as much as something like this makes me want to wrap my whole family in protective bubble wrap and spend the rest of our days within the walls of our home, we are called to spread the love of Christ and share that there is hope and redemption and peace and purpose beyond what we can imagine right now. Jesus came in the form of a helpless baby, but he won’t come back that way.

He’ll come as a conqueror. And evil will be vanquished forever.

On the plane ride home, I heard the lyrics from “I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day” and they fell fresh on me.

And in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

That’s the very heart of what Christmas is all about.

Our hearts are broken for you, Newton, Connecticut. You are in prayers. And we weep for your babies.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012
Subscribe
Share
Share to Facebook Share to Twitter

Comments

  1. 1

    Thank you for sharing truth today. I needed a powerful reminder of God’s promise.

  2. 2

    Beautifully written. Have you read Max Lucado’s prayer in response yet? Remembering Jesus in this fills us with such hope…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-lucado/a-christmas-prayer_2_b_2302548.html

  3. 3

    Perfectly stated….thank you.

  4. 4

    I was teaching 5th grade during 9/11. I stayed glued to the television for hours, days, weeks after it happened & it emotionally gutted me. Since then, I haven’t been able to watch stuff like that. Most especially this. These kids were my child’s age and the women were doing my job. Hits WAY too close to home. I’ve had to read little bits on news sites to find out the truth. I’m still waiting to find out the motivation behind going to the school after he’d already taken care of his mother at her house. I expect we may wait years to find this out.

    I downloaded “Maybe This Christmas Tree” from Amazon last week. It has some interesting, sort of sad, melancholy versions of Christmas songs. “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” sung by Pedro the Lion is on there & is especially sad.

  5. 5

    I have been an ostrich this weekend, refusing to turn on the tv because, like you said, if I let my mind go there I will just curl up in a fetal position. Both of my children are adults, married or getting ready to be, and school teachers. I have to tell you that this article deserves a pulitzer, or whatever the grand prize for writing is. I have never read anything that puts things in perspective, reminds us we aren’t here for anything other than growing His kingdom. Thank you.

  6. 8

    Melanie, thank you thank you thank you. What you have said here, yes, i agree with Kelly, you are gifted with your words. Thank you for sharing and speaking that truth. I read your blog every day but rarely comment (because, um, you have no idea who I am), but AMEN AMEN AMEN. Your blog is a blessing to me for the laughs, but also for your integrity in terms of your beliefs…both resonate and honestly bless me every day. Thanks for being you and being out there and for saying all of this.

  7. 9

    So beautifully stated, especially pointing out how King Herod. I just read that part of the Christmas story to 3 and 4 year olds yesterday at church. There just are no answers, at least not any that are going to satisfy our souls. This is the reality of a fallen world. God knows how incredibly difficult this world would be and how hard it is to be us and to be here. The think that kept running through my mind this weekend was “how long, Lord, how long?” I long for heaven at times like these.

    My husband calls the majority of the ‘wisdom’ people write on Facebook at times like these “Facebook Theology” and it drives him batty. At times like these, there just are no words and trying to with a bunch of words that are nonsensical just seems to make it worse, and frankly, most people end up making God look like a petty score keeper. God knows this world is hard and how hard it is to be us.

    Thank you for well written words to this unthinkable tragedy.

  8. 10

    Crying over those precious babies and feeling their parents grief this early morning, awake in cold and snowy Colorado. My heart aches for all of them. My youngest daughter is in college, getting her degree in elementary education. I have many family members who work in the education field. This hits into my heart. There are no words.

  9. 11

    It is just to much to comprehend isn’t it?

    My littlest one is in Kindergarten. I keep looking at her and crying as I think of those precious ones.

    I heard the Bells on Christmas Day, has been echoing in my mind as well. Our student choir sang it at church yesterday, so many of us openly weeping.

    Yes, the light always conquers the darkness.
    God is always good.
    And we wait for Jesus to come again and take us home.

  10. 12

    This is so beautifully written.

  11. 13

    Thank you for this.

  12. 14

    I’ve been listening to Casting Crowns’ “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” over and over this weekend. And I’ve barely watched the news–just a little, sort of like peeking through your fingers during a scary movie. As they’ve released the names of the little ones, I’m like you, I just don’t think I can completely let my mind go there.

  13. 15

    AMEN!

  14. 16

    Thanks so much. I am going to share this with my family tonight as part of Advent.

  15. 17

    Amen.

    “And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Praise God!!

  16. 19

    Thank you for your words – a much needed balm for my soul this morning.

  17. 20

    Very well said. It’s such a tragedy. But we have hope. This sick, sinful world is not the end. Even so Lord Jesus, come quickly!

  18. 21

    As another avid reader but infrequent commenter (this may be my first, I’m not sure), I agree with Kerry – you don’t know me, but your blog blesses my heart. Thank you for today’s post, and another reminder that not everything in the Bible is pretty – even the Christmas story – but EVERYTHING in the Bible is necessary, and ours. It follows what my pastor said yesterday in a sermon about 2 Samuel 9, the story of Mephibosheth. The reality of life is that it isn’t fair, and everyone will come upon hard times, some so hard they’re unimaginable to the rest of us. BUT…we always have a God who will provide for us, and take care of us, and welcome us home when we come to Him.

  19. 22

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. So well said – you have spoken for so many today, Melanie. Beautiful and thought provoking. Blessings.

  20. 23

    Thank you. I will be sharing this! I never watch the news…EVER. But people everywhere are talking about it. You can’t get away from it. And they all have the same question…why?! I am thankful that, though I cannot answer them their questions, I can turn them to The One who is The Answer.

  21. 24

    Thank you, Mel. Beautifully written reminders….

  22. 25

    Beautifully said.

  23. 26

    You post is going into my bible. Amen

  24. 27

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. I am off to school now, where I teach and two of my children attend. Thank you for so eloquently sharing your faith.
    As my friend, who just buried their 12 year old daughter, says “Every day with joy.” Still.
    Merry Christmas~

  25. 28

    Thank you. So beautifully well said.

  26. 29

    Thank you for saying what I wanted to say but couldn’t. I was waiting for your blog entry today. God bless you and your family and thank you for the comforting words. I have passed them on, with credit to you, to those that need them today.

  27. 30

    Perfectly said. Thank you.

  28. 31

    “…the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Dang, Melanie. That’s beautiful.

  29. 33

    I posted on my facebook this morning your words “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning” along with the scripture it references and a link to your site. Thank you for the reminder.

  30. 34

    Amen.

  31. 35

    Such a beautiful and powerful post. Balm for all of our minds and souls and a reminder that we are His. Love you.

  32. 36

    Amen! Thank you for this post!

  33. 37

    Wow — that was everything I hoped you would post, times a trillion. Beautiful.

  34. 38

    Newtown – not Newton.

  35. 39

    Beautiful post. It is just too much to comprehend. But I also take comfort in the idea that we will all finally understand someday. And that those kids are now in God’s arms.

  36. 40
    Canadian Cathy says:

    This will be a piece of writing that you are remembered for. I believe people will link up to and thousands of people will read your words.
    You have a gift.

  37. 42
    Karen Ward says:

    Beautifully written. I still can’t comprehend how someone could shoot innocent, little children, much less adults. Praying for those babies’ families, as well as the families of the adults that were killed. Victoria Soto’s uncle lives not far from here.

    That song couldn’t be more perfect.

  38. 43

    What a meaningful and touching post! Thank you.

  39. 44

    Thank you, Melanie. The entire state of Connecticut feels this great nation’s prayers as we send our children to school this morning. We can’t tell you how much your prayers mean to us.

  40. 45

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  41. 46

    Well said, Melanie. My son is a middle school teacher and now more than ever, we must remember to pray over our schools. We all have evil inside of us but by the grace of God and Jesus Christ, we also have redemption. I am thankful I serve a loving God and, while His heart is surely broken over humanity, this horrific act was no surprise to Him. God is still the answer to our hurts and if we choose Him, joy WILL come in the morning.

  42. 47

    Thank you, Melanie. Beautifully said.

  43. 48

    Friend…I think this is my favorite thing you have ever written. Our God is good and He is faithful even in times of utter darkness and despair. Your words are a message of hope. Thanks for writing them. xoxo

  44. 49
    Tisha Ward says:

    Thank you. May God give all of those touched by this horrible experience peace and comfort. Thankful to God that we are His and He will reign FOREVER!!

  45. 50
    Stephanie Rische says:

    You have put words on what my heart has been feeling. Thanks for sharing this…what a beautiful weaving together of authetic grief and rock-solid hope.

  46. 51

    Thank you. As my husband, who is a school teacher, and our young boys all left the house this morning I admit I was nervous. My whole world was walking out the door and headed to school. But I know God is in control. I know he is much bigger than my nervousness. He has all of us in his hand. I pray for each teacher today. I pray they have the words they will need to comfort their school babies. I pray God wraps his loving arms around each one of them today and safely returns them home.

  47. 52

    Just beautiful! Thank you!

  48. 53

    Beautiful, Melanie! This is exactly what has been on my heart all weekend and you put it into words. Thank you so much!

  49. 54

    Wow, what a powerful and beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing.

  50. 55

    Thank you for writing this. Going to go find my sheet music to “I heard the bells…” and play it on the piano. Dropped my kiddos off this morning and parked, got out, put my gloves on, and marched around the building praying and pleading the blood of Jesus.
    And I cannot wait for him to come back…as it says in this song from my church “Behold He comes, riding on the clouds, shining like the sun, at the trumpet call…”
    He is our warrior and our conqueror.

  51. 56
    Julie Fisher says:

    Thank you for putting into words what I could not, and for always pointing the way to Christ!

  52. 57

    Beautiful. Tears are flowing as I trust God and pray for CT. It was so hard this morning to let my boys go to school today. Thank you for the reminder that God is in control. I love “a baby’s cry was a holy roar at evil.” My prayer is that through this tradgedy, this country sees our desperate need for God and turns back to Him – no, runs back to Him.

  53. 58
    Melanie Miller says:

    Beautifully said, Melanie. Thank you for your words.

  54. 59

    Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

  55. 60

    What you ended up writing is just beautiful; I started writing yesterday and I raced in a thousand directions, having so many COMPLICATED thoughts about it all.

    No, we are not home yet…and we do have hope, great hope.

    I love it when you write with your heart, Melanie…and I’m thankful for the memories you made with Caroline and your family.

    xo

  56. 61
    Kimberly/OKC says:

    I got down to the ninth paragraph but I had to stop…I can’t. I just can’t. Will read your post at night time when I can go cry it out…again. Saving the mornings for happy right now…and I KNOW that making this small decision and to even to live my little happy life right now is a HUGE privilege because NO ONE in Sandy Hook can ignore or post phone one second of the Hell they are living.

    • 62
      Kimberly/OKC says:

      Finally read the post this AM…seems I could have kept reading and been blessed yesterday but alas, that lump in my throat was physically painful yesterday. Thank you for expressing your heart and my heart and so many of our hearts. Jesus is the ONLY ANSWER!! HE IS EVERYTHING!! Do those parents know that all of us across the nation are grieving with them?! If they did, would it help? I don’t know. But I know your post helped ME with MY grief, and judging by the comments, it helped all of us who are so fortunate to read your words. Thank you, Melanie.

  57. 63
    Jane Jackson says:

    Well Said! I Have seen several conversations on facebook discussing this issue. I wanted to reply back and started to do so, but as I began to type, I could not put all of my thoughts into words and express them in a way that is so thoughtful and perfectly on target the way you have! I hope you won’t mind if I share some of your words (of course, I will give you the credit!)because you do explain everything so well! I think that people who do not have a relationship with God and are not Christians are using this horrific act to better their cause. You truly explained the Christian view point so well, and I wish everyone could read it! Thank you for shedding His light on a very painful situation for all of us! God Bless!

  58. 64

    Amen.

    Thank you.

  59. 65

    Beautifully said my friend. I cannot even put words up on the screen, much less string my thoughts together in my own head.

  60. 66

    Wonderfully written. God bless you this Christmas. Our world needs Jesus so much.

  61. 67

    Just simply. Thank you.

  62. 68

    This was so needed that I shared it on Facebook. I especially loved the line “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

  63. 69

    Thank you. I needed this.

  64. 70
    Claudia Martin says:

    So beautifully written! After a weekend of weeping while reading the news it was wonderful to read your post. I sent an email to my family with a link – thank you!

  65. 71

    Melanie,
    Thank you for writing. Christ spoke through you today (well, last night as you sat on the couch). Thank you for writing about Herod’s baby slaughter. It’s horrible, evil and true. Evil is not a fictitional character. Satan is a murderer. A serial killer on the largest scale. John 10 “Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.”

    My favorite line: “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that though crying may last for a night, joy comes in the morning.” Well said.

  66. 72

    Melanie-
    Thank you for this post. My husband love that song done by Casting Crowns and listened to it Friday night and both wept thinking about what happened.

  67. 73

    In a situation where there really are no words, you found some, and they were beautiful. I too recalled Herod and his part in the Christmas story. In my 41 years, I have only heard one sermon about this horror….ever. Yet, as I tried to comprehend what happened on Friday, that part is what came back to me. Jesus even from toddlerhood was no stranger to tragedy, unimaginable evil, and grief. And as sobering as that is, it is also comforting in a weird sense that He knows our sorrow…intimately. He loves, He cares, He is with us, and somehow He will cause all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

  68. 74

    Well said.

  69. 75

    So well said, Amen.

    King Jesus, may your Kingdom come quickly.

  70. 76

    Thank you. You said it perfectly. And thank you for the words to that song.

  71. 77

    Beautifully said, Melanie.

  72. 78

    Beautifully said from the heart of a mother. Thank you.

  73. 79
    Jaclyn Rose says:

    Beautifully written. Thank you. Praying for Newtown.

  74. 80

    Thank you, Melanie. I needed this today. I just keep weeping and weeping but you are absolutely right. We know this is not our home and it’s never promised to be comfortable. Thank you for truth.

  75. 81

    I was trying to utter something similar here,
    http://www.4tunate.net/2012/12/to-the-mom-who-is-anxious-about-leaving-your-kids-this-morning/
    but can I just copy and paste yours instead?

    Thank you for writing this today as we increase our faith, mourn with those who mourn, and proclaim Him.

  76. 82

    I’ve read and loved your blog for a long time and never commented. This was truly beautiful. Thank you for writing this.

  77. 83

    Beautiful post. The best one I’ve read in regards to the hurt we’re all feeling and the explanations everyone is seeking.

  78. 84

    As a mom with 2 littles I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for saying something so beautiful and perfect, when I have been at a loss for words.

  79. 85

    Beautiful Melanie. Thank you for writing it.

  80. 86

    Melanie, you have been given such a gift with your writing. Thank you so, so much for sharing this! It is so very beautiful.
    On Sunday, our pastor asked those who had a nativity scene in their home right now to raise their hands. Of course, every hand went up. He said keep your hand raised if you have an angel … a shepherd, … three wise men … a camel … at different times some hands would be lowered. Then, without missing a beat, he said, “King Herod”. Of course every hand was lowered immediately. And he also made the point about that horror being a real part of the Christmas story.
    Like so many others I love the line, “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning” Wow.

  81. 87

    Thank you! You have a great gift and God has used you to speak a very meaningful message to us today.

  82. 88

    Amen!

  83. 89

    yes, I haven’t been able to get the massacre by Herod out of my head either. This year, for the first time, I have the inkling of imagining what it might have been like.

  84. 90

    “..2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Wow. This is my fbook status today. Great great article!

  85. 91

    So beautifully said, Melanie.

  86. 92

    I know. I know, I know. Me too. I teach Sunday school, and I couldn’t stop the tears praying for the families in class. I put a song on this blog post, that is so adequate you would think it was written for this. I’m linking it here – http://www.sweetlifeunderthesavior.blogspot.com/2012/12/for-newtown.html

    Thank you for reminding us of the Truth!!

  87. 93

    Amen. How beautifully said. I weep for the families who have lost, but I am glad it is He holding all those dear ones in His arms today and forever.

  88. 94

    Well said my friend.

  89. 95

    Well said. 100% agree.

  90. 96

    thank you for this!

  91. 97

    “I know that there is no better time than Christmas to remember that God sent his son into the world to save us all from darkness and sin and certain death. And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Oh my word. Yes, yes, and yes. Amen.

  92. 98

    Amen and Amen!! Hope in God…

  93. 99

    I’ve been thinking about those unopened presents, too. We go about our lives planning everything out, but we don’t know what’s around the corner. There’s no way to plan for what happened. Sweet babies. I pray we would all know God’s peace and comfort this Christmas, but especially that it will wash over all of those families of Sandy Hook and that he will truly hold them in the palm of his hand.

  94. 101
    Michaelann says:

    Thank you, God is great and stronger than what we have witnessed!

  95. 102
    Jennifer Schmidt says:

    Well written. I’ve never thought on the words of, “I Heard the Bells”, but it fits perfectly. Thanks for your sentiments.

  96. 103

    Melanie, this so beautifully put into words all the wildly swirling emotions that have been with us since Friday. I wept once more as I read this, but I hope that the faith and hope that comes through with the grief in your words will help us make a better way ahead. My heart breaks for those babies, those families, those teachers and our world. Thank you for helping us think about it in a prayerful, peaceful way. God bless.

  97. 104

    Thank you Mel for the beautiful post. It took everything in me not to break down reading your post here at work. Your post did help bring some comfort though. We have to rely on God and our faith in him for the day will come when he will wipe away all of the evil that is in this world.

  98. 105

    Well it’s clear that you were able to find your words because that was beautifully written. You are a gifted writer.

  99. 106

    Thank you, Big Mama, for this post. You have so beautifully put into words the peace and hope that we can all have through Christ. Blessings and joy to you and your family this Christmas season.

  100. 107

    Thank you.

  101. 108

    I love your blog. I think you have a genuine heart for Christ and a sense of humor that puts people at ease. Thank you for writing such a sweet and heartfelt post today. To be honest with you, I haven’t even dealt with what happened in CT because I can’t wrap my brain around how some one could do that and what those children and now their families were/are feeling. Your blog post actually helped me to put some perspective on everything. I’m flat out sick of seeing all the posts on FB and people using it as a political platform. So thank you again and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

  102. 109

    You, sweet Melanie, fought the good fight today with this AMAZING post. I know God is so proud of you for ministering to a big community with your writing, and advancing the gospel with this one. Thank you. And this may be one of the most powerful sentences I’ve ever read in my life {and if I can learn to link, I’m sharing}: “And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Joining this entire community of yours in sorrow AND in prayers.

  103. 110

    Oh Melanie, amen and amen. xo

  104. 111
    Amy Bramhall says:

    Beautifully said Melaine!

  105. 112

    Thank you, thank you. Your words have expressed the cry of my heart and the tears I have shed. You are a gift from God to a world that needs, at times, laughter….and at other times, a safe place to cry. So glad this blog is here….

  106. 113
    Lindsay Safran says:

    Melanie,
    Obviously you don’t know me but I love your blog and follow it religiously. It may be the very reason some cute items adorn my closet….all thanks to Fashion Fridays! :) May I just say this post today is my absolutely favorite I’ve read concerning the tragedy in CT. You nailed it girl and very profoundly.
    Blessings to you and your family and a very Merry Christmas!
    Lindsay

  107. 114

    Beautifully written. And that’s one of my favorite Christmas songs because it’s so true. I, too, want to feel like I’m in control of everything that my children come in contact with, but this past year I’ve had such a burden to pray for them because, in my heart of hearts, I know that I’m not in control. I can stalk them for the rest of my life (and Facebook really helps with that, just ask my mother), or I can spend that energy learning to trust God. It seems like such an easy choice to make, but it’s actually difficult for me.

  108. 115

    I have to say that is very well written and made me cry. I don’t have children but have a niece and 3 nephews and several “adopted” children. I have hugged and told every one of them that I love them. You were able to put into words what everyone has been wanting to say. Thank you very much……….

  109. 116

    This was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for reminding us all of what this season is about, how God is not dead, and that we only go on because of Jesus.

  110. 117

    So, so, so well said. Thank you for speaking from your heart today. Grieving and praying with CT.

  111. 118

    I know that was a truly difficult blog to write. It is exquisite. Settles some peace over my heart, even after the lock down today. Thank you.

  112. 119

    Beautifully written. Thank you.

  113. 120

    Preach it sister. Our God is NOT dead. He will come back and wipe away every tear and redeem this broken place. Until then, I want to teach everyone around me that their is a Father who protects, heals and restores. He is alive and well! He came to give us life so let’s live! Blessings to you sweet girl.

  114. 121

    Oh how I needed to read your words tonight…Thank you for reminding me of the “rest” of the Christmas story. I feel lost as I try to make it through the day wondering what our world is coming to…And I needed your reminder that Jesus came to us in the dark, and He will come again. To cling to Him is all we can do, and I truly thank you for your post.

  115. 122

    Melanie, this is truly exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you sweet friend for writing such heartfelt words. I read your blog and like so many other have never commented but felt the need to do so today. I am in my 21st year as a public school employee, and have had to separate myself from this tragedy as much as possible. It is exactly as you said…..I just can’t allow myself to go there.

    Your words soothed my spirit and again I thank you for them.

  116. 123

    Oh, what a gift you have – beautiful post.

  117. 124

    Thank you for your beautiful words. I had been thinking of those same words from “I heard the Bells on Christmas Day”, and also these from “This Is My Father’s World”:
    This is my Father’s World
    O let me ne’er forget
    That though the wrong
    Seems oft so strong
    God is the ruler yet!

    He is the Conqueror.

  118. 125

    May the Lord of all Creation come soon; this world leaves me longing for home…

  119. 126

    I love this–so well said. As a mom and first grade teacher, this hit me so hard. Prayers and tears are flowing, yet God is so good.

  120. 127

    Sometimes something is just from God & this post & your words are exactly what many of us needed to hear from God right now. Thank you, thank you.

  121. 128

    Amen. So beautiful and so true. Thank you for this.

  122. 129

    Malanie, you have spoken my heart. Thank you.

  123. 130

    Thank you so much. This post finally helped me put this in perspective and lift up my head. God wins. In The End, He wins.

  124. 131

    This is one of the best responses this tragic event I have read. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  125. 132

    Amen.

  126. 133

    Amen and Amen! Thank you so much for these inspired words.

  127. 134

    Thank you so much for your words. I love your blog for all the light-hearted everyday moments, but you really do write about the “deep” things with such clarity as well. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Truly, our Savior will come and have His victory over all these tragedies that break His heart. He “treads the winepress of the wrath of God,” and this evil and sin that we see in events like Friday’s will not be forgotten by our Just, Mighty, Loving God. Come, Lord Jesus!

  128. 135

    I wrote about the same thing today….God is good and loving and hates evil as much as we do. In the end, He will set things right, and w do not need to despair, no matter how bad the suffering. We live in a fallen world. Enjoy your writing, so I subscribed to stay in touch!

  129. 136

    God definitely gave you the words for this post, dear Melanie! They were powerful and comforting all at the same time. Bless you.

    Missouri Barb

  130. 137

    I have had trouble reading, watching, thinking about anything having to do with this. But I knew you’d put it in words as well as my heart is trying to. You said it just right – exactly how I feel, and I applaud your bravery for putting it “on paper” as the rest of us just can’t. Thank you. I pray for your healing and peace, along with everyone else’s.

  131. 138

    Thank you for writing. You give voice to so many moms’ feelings. I am a pastor’s wife and my husband’s sermon on Sunday was very similar to your post today. He came to redeem us. This is not our home. Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!

  132. 139

    i’ve read this half a dozen times since yesterday morning. what a beautiful, beautiful post.

  133. 140

    I heard a psycologist say thre would be no trama as a nation or individuals in a week or 2. I was stunned because I know parents everywhere will never ever forget this. Does one ever forget death? My heart is so heavy for the families, the town, and the world. It is all blending together and I grieve and pray.

  134. 141
    Robin Baker says:

    Thank you for this inspiring post. It certainly helped me to process this horrid event. I will share this with my family and friends.

  135. 142

    Wow. Thank you for this. Tears of sorrow and vicory, mingled.

  136. 143

    Thank you so much for sharing your comforting thoughts. Our hearts are broken for all of those who lost loved ones.

  137. 144

    I hope it is ok with you to share this at the Parents Prayer Meeting at our primary school on Thursday morning. Here in N Ireland we are very priviliged to be allowed to meet as parents in a public school once a month to pray for our school community – with the blessing and support of a Christian principal and many Christian staff.

    Our hearts go out to the parents and families involved in this tragedy.

  138. 145
    Holly in Houston says:

    Beautifully stated.

  139. 146

    Melanie, this is absolutely the best piece I have read about this horrific event. Beautiful post. Really. Thank you.

  140. 147

    Thank you Melanie – your words speak to all of us – from your heart and soul and are just what we need.

  141. 148

    thank you for your beautiful post. amen, and amen.

  142. 149

    So beautiful. I’ve avoided your blog for a few days because I knew I couldn’t read it without falling to pieces. This post is TRUTH straight from God. Thank you for this!

  143. 150

    Very moving. Thanks for sharing. Such a tragedy. We live in CT 35 miles away from Newtown. Just terrible.

  144. 151

    Hi there, after reading this awesome article i am also happy to
    share my experience here with friends.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] over at The Big Mama Blog expressed this so beautifully this morning. I wept as I read it to my husband. I really believe God [...]

  2. [...] ramble on about the usual nonsense that I find myself sharing. Joyce From This Side of the Pond and Big Mama both summed it up well and [...]

  3. [...] big mama’s melanie: “in search of the light” [...]

  4. How We Love says:

    [...] as Melanie wrote so beautifully earlier this week, “Jesus came in the form of a helpless baby, but he won’t come back that way. He’ll come as a conq…” And as I’ve listened to my favorite Christmas hymn this week, I haven’t thought [...]

  5. [...] of my favorite bloggers, Melanie, recently wrote a powerful post that literally had me sobbing out loud.  She so perfectly put into [...]

  6. [...] In search of the light [...]

  7. [...] Sandy Hook What Writers Do An Attempt to Put Words on the Heartbreak Saddened by Specifics In Search of the Light I Am Not [...]