Big Mama Blog

Time to invest in a Barbie styling head

So yesterday was Mother’s Day. The day when mothers everywhere are showered with love and attention for three minutes before getting back to sorting the laundry.

I actually had a good Mother’s Day because I received official confirmation that The 30 Day Shred is producing some results. Caroline’s teacher asked them questions about their moms and then recorded their answers on a piece of paper.

According to Caroline, I am “12 feet tall” and “probably weigh about 30 pounds”, which means I’m approximately the same size as Heidi Klum.

That Jillian Michaels is a miracle worker.

On Friday afternoon, Caroline decided it would be fun to play beauty shop. She pulled out all her makeup and hair accessories and asked me to make her look beautiful. As I delicately brushed some blue glitter eyeshadow on her lids, I marveled at how long her eyelashes are and the smoothness of her olive complexion. I swept her hair off her face and let my hand rest for a minute on her cheek, just taking in all of her five-year-old sweetness and thinking that I couldn’t love her more.

After I finished putting on her lipgloss, it was my turn. She managed to yank out half my hair with the hairbrush and then began to put makeup on me. I closed my eyes and felt her brush my cheeks with blush, coat my eyes with glitter, and then, in a perfect imitation of what I’d done to her, rest her hand on my cheek.

I opened my eyes to see her looking at me so intently. She was taking in every angle of my face as if trying to memorize every line. It took my breath away to realize how closely she watches me, how often she copies what I say or do, and how much we love each other. There is an incredible bond that exists between mothers and daughters.

She held my face in her hands for a few more seconds and gently said, “Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“You have a big hair growing out of your chin.”

Perfect.

I guess next time we play beauty shop, I’ll have to get a wax.

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Comments

  1. 1

    She is something, that little girl of yours!

  2. 2

    Just don’t let her be the one doing the waxing. That for sure would be devastating! Although, I’m sure we’d get a fantastic blog about it. =)

  3. 3

    Hilarious! Love it!

  4. 4

    :) Too funny…and sweet! Happy Belated Mother’s Day…

  5. 5

    Too funny….I love it!

    I let my 6 year old (who I swear is Caroline’s long lost twin separated by 500 miles and 365 days at birth) put her Hello Kitty make-up on me, and also decided to grab some “crap” makeup my mother decided to give her to play with(what is that woman thinking?)

    Let’s just say I gave Alice Cooper a run for his money. *shudder*

    one last thing….how blessed you are to be enjoying every minute of being a mom….and appreciating all the brutal honest comments pointed out every step of the way. (my girl told me that I still had a roll hanging over my pants during the ab workout of The Shred…..neat!)

    It’s so important in this busy thing we call life…..

    xox
    *~Michelle~*

  6. 6

    Circles are definately very small in the blog’osphere. The amount of folk who are doing the shred is amazing. Vicki would be finacially advanced if she was getting kick backs from Ms Michaels :)

    Btw, love it when the kids don’t follow cultural protocol. Raw, yes but very real and refreshing.

  7. 7

    Hee! That is too funny! Some day, far into the future, you can return the favor, and then show her this post…

  8. 8

    Priceless!! Thanks for sharing that tender – and transparent – moment with us.

  9. 9

    That made my day-so funny!!!!!!

  10. 10

    I love that! Children are SO BRUTALLY honest!!! The world needs a lot more of that…

  11. 11

    OMG… I am laughing so hard I can hardly type. That is so so funny. Mostly because it sounds JUST like my “touching moments”… love it!

  12. 12

    Another classic post. Thanks for sharing your Mom stories with us everyday! Happy Mother’s Day!

    Becky

  13. 13

    I cried. I laughed. I think this post should be nominated for an Oscar!!!

  14. 14

    We used to play beauty shop with my mom. We would get out the curling iron and promise not to burn her, yet almost every time we did.

    Now, I’m thankful for the plastic curling irons and hair dryers…no burns for this momma!

  15. 15

    Bwahhhhhaaaaa…….you crazy woman! Your stories of Caroline are so funny.

    Suzanne

  16. 16
    grandmabecker says:

    That is so funny……………

    Isn’t it fun to play beauty shop!!

    That is what my 3 year old granddaughter calls it!!!

  17. 17

    Hilarious! This story made my Monday morning perfect!

  18. 18

    That’s true love right there; you’ve taught her what tough love is all about.

  19. 19

    Oh I wish I could meet you two in person. I love love LOVE this story! And honey, we all have random wiry hairs. It’s just the price we have to pay for being beautiful (hairy) brunettes!

  20. 20

    She said it with love though, gotta give her props. At least she didn’t include that in her list of your qualities to her teacher.

  21. 21

    ROFL…you have the greatest bloggings! :) But hey, at least the Shred is working! And at least you’re getting all the blue-eyeshadowed-hideousness out of the way now, and not when she actually does start wearing makeup :D

  22. 22

    Thank you for starting my day off with a chuckle!

  23. 23

    Doesn’t that just seal the deal. Perfect! :o)

  24. 24

    Laughter through tears – my favorite emotion! Oh man. Too funny. Savor it all, sweetie. I just moved my daughter home from college. I have one month with her at home, then we’re going to watch her float down an aisle toward the love of her life…

  25. 25

    Just remember that her day is coming. She too will have hairs to deal with. LOL

  26. 26

    Oh, yes, they are very observant and honest. My granddaughter asked me, “Grandma, do you have a mustache?” I replied, “Yeah, I guess so. Does it look bad?” and very quickly she turned her head and quietly said, “no.” LOL

  27. 27

    I’m lovin’ that girl more and more. She will keep you beautiful and “hair free” when you’re old.
    I guess I’m going to have to give in and start the shred. It’s been sitting in my player for about 10 days and I’ve come up with every excuse possible not to start.

  28. 28

    WOW!!! LMAO. Out of the mouths of babes………

  29. 29

    somehow you managed to make my cry and laugh…all in the span of, oh, three sentences. as always, thanks so much for helping to start my day on a joyful note!

  30. 30

    Very sweet & funny! I’m starting the 30 day shred tonight… I hope that soon I’ll be 12 feet tall and weigh 30 lbs too!

  31. 31

    Hilarious!

  32. 32

    Oh my word. : )

  33. 33

    Well, the Shred is kicking my rear! I managed to make it through one and half circuits before I collapsed on the living room floor. Hubby was laughing and saying he could do better. He asked what could be so hard about a 20 minute workout. Righttttt. We’re having a duel of sorts tonight. I am so going to beat him.

  34. 34

    Wow, this made me laugh!! I have had this exact same moment, with my kids telling me I need to pull out my chin hairs!! Too funny!

  35. 35

    HA!

  36. 36

    I needed a good laugh this morning! That was hilarious…happy belated mothers day!!
    Jennifer:)

  37. 37

    What no pictures?

    That is so cute. My kindergartner did the question thing. Emma thought I was 20 years old and 40 pounds. (Yes!)

    I love kids’ honesty!

  38. 38

    I define this log today as a true Steel Magnolias moment. I was crying and laughing in the same moment. That is special.

    It sounds as though you had a happy mothers day.

    I think Mothers day is every day. My son is 3 and right now he never forgets to tell me “I Yuv You Momma” several times a day. I know that will end or atleast get fewer times one day but I am soaking it up right now.

  39. 39

    Brillant. Just brillant.

  40. 40

    Attention to detail is key in the beauty regimen.

  41. 41
    Heather says:

    I was getting a tear in my there for a minute till she said that, hilarious! So sweet! Hope you had a great MOther’s day!

  42. 42

    That is priceless!

  43. 43

    So familiar…..

  44. 44

    How cute! My daughter said that I was 9 feet tall and 28 pounds in her little Mother’s Day card…not too bad!

  45. 45

    You need to save this so you can read it to her when you are 85 and need her to pluck that hair out for you.

  46. 46
    wegotspirit says:

    The card our kids had to fill out asked how OLD mom is and what her favorite drink is – “leading” questions I might say since my child said I was 50 (not!) and my favorite drink is WINE!!! Ahem. Oh, kids say the darndest things! At least he redeemed himself when he said my favorite thing to do was read him stories. :) Very sweet post, BigMama! Brought tears to my eyes.

  47. 47

    You rock, chin hairs and all.

  48. 48

    Lovely. Way to perfect the perfect moment Caroline!

  49. 49

    That is too funny!! My baby brother Ronald is always telling me I need a Biore strip on my nose for my clogged pores, I can only think that he is just looking out for my well being. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Have a great day!!!
    ~Molly P

  50. 50

    K said i am 79 years old (half that) and pretty as a butterfly…he might live to tell the tale…LOL
    steff

  51. 51

    What, no pictures?
    You chicken!

  52. 52

    Absolutely H-Y-S-T-E-R-I-C-A-L!!!! :)

  53. 53

    Got to love those daughters! I have two, 16 & 22 and they still tell me precious stuff like:
    “What’s up with your hair?”
    “Did you mean to wear THOSE shoes?”
    “Why did you wear THAT?”

    Yes, I love my girls because they’re honest and when they say I look presentable I know that I do.

  54. 54

    Such typical Caroline fare. I could see it coming a mile away. I love it!

  55. 55
  56. 56

    Oh that is just priceless!

    And the three minute, back to sorting laundry thing… were you in my house or something? Ha ha ha!

  57. 57

    I’ve never actually spit all over my computer due to laughing so hard, but this one did it. For whatever reason, this one caught me off guard. Should’ve seen it coming and didn’t… Love it!

  58. 58
    Heather U says:

    Must admit I didn’t see the ending playing out the way it did… but leave it to you to totally crack me up within the last two lines ;). Wish someone could have snapped a picture of Caroline putting makeup on you and doing your hair and vice versa… those photos would have been priceless!

  59. 59

    That is funny!! My son said something kinda like that when he was 3…he was brushing my hair gently and suddenly pulled some up and shockingly said, “Mommy! You’ve got BLACK hair under there!!” “Yes, baby, I had (naturally) blond hair until I got pregnant with you. Thanks for noticing I need to get my roots done.” ha!

  60. 60

    I managed to cray and laugh at the same time over this post!
    Gina

  61. 61

    I managed to cry and laugh at the same time on today’s post!

  62. 62

    Oh, oh, I love it!! My 3 year old told her preschool teacher that she was going to get me “newspaper” for Mother’s Day. (???!) We definitely do the beauty shop here too, but with plastic “make-ups.” :)

  63. 63

    That is SO not fair! Humbling, yes. But still not fair.

  64. 64

    Thanks for this – it made me (and my own chin hair) laugh out loud!

  65. 65

    Enjoy the wacky comments and quiet times too. As Mom of 4 grown daughters let me just say that you a raising your future best friend.

  66. 66
    Madison says:

    That is sweet and funny at the same time! Enjoy this time.

  67. 67

    Precious little stinker!

  68. 68

    Totally, brutally honest, aren’t they? Motherhood, the joy and pain of that one word all rolled into one!

  69. 69

    When my 26 YOD was in pre-school her teacher did the same Mother’s Day card. Her answers were 17 feet tall and 28 pounds. The next sentence: My mom is happy when she is skinny. I was one happy mom!

  70. 70

    You are a highlight of my day (no pressure!)

  71. 71

    ROFL!

    Kids are just amazing…
    -FringeGirl

  72. 72
    Loretta says:

    Priceless! They do keep us humble, don’t they? LOL

  73. 73

    Yes. Well. my daughter (in her TWENTIES!) would not allow my to walk into Old Navy with her until she had used the tweezers on my handy-dandy pocket knife to pluck a hair form my chin. She plucked me right out in front of the store!

  74. 74

    You totally had me teary eyed until the hair in the chin comment!

  75. 75

    I love this post. Beautiful.

  76. 76

    I kind of shared one of these momments with my Granmother when I was little except she had spider webs up her nose!

  77. 77
    julie schaal says:

    mad skills were honed on my barbie styling head…

  78. 78

    I don’t think I have ever commented, but I just had to this time. I almost fell out of my seat laughing. I so enjoy your blog. You are one year ahead of me in the raising a girl department so it is almost like a peek into the scary future!

  79. 79

    That’s it, I’m going to go buy myself a copy of The Shred.

    And God love little kids…they say the darnest things!!

  80. 80

    Ha! I went from almost in tears to laughing so hard! Funny & Sweet!

  81. 81
    Amy Reyes says:

    okay big Mama, this post made me snort. Hilarious. I love the honesty of children.

    Happy Mother’s day to you.

  82. 82

    I absolutely love this post. It truly captures the sweetness, funniness, and craziness of being a mom!

  83. 83

    ohmystars!! warn me before you let a zinger like that fly!! i’m whiping coffee off of my computer screen right now. that was absolutely precious and hilarious. ohmystars!!
    what a preciously perfect mother’s day.
    i celebrated with a baccalaureate and a graduation party for my sweet daughter. i’d love to play beauty parlor with her. it would be the highlight of my year.

  84. 84

    You know, I haven’t been feeling well. I am kind of bummed about my husband being out of town and sort of feeling sorry for myself so I sat down here to read some blogs.

    Then I found you.

    Then I laughed my head off. Seriously,I was holding my side and crying with laughter.

    Thank you!

  85. 85
    votemom says:

    hahahha!!!!!!!! awesome!

    my sone at age 12 announced at the thanksgiving dinner table that i had a long hair growing out of my chin. of course at that moment no one was talking and everyone was chewing. it was a moment to remember.

  86. 86
    hannah r says:

    That’s fabulous. May I just say that you inspired me to order the 30 Day Shred video and after one day my quads are hurling curses at both Jillian and myself….and I was only using a large candle and a small container of medium salsa in lieu of handweights! Salsa which I popped open and consumed post workout, naturally.

  87. 87

    ok that made me laugh out loud a bit….but first, it made me cry…it sometimes scares me that I am influencing my precious only daughter like it or not knowing or not knowing…poor girl! ;-)

  88. 88

    Well at least you know she is always COMPLETELY honest with you! :)

  89. 89

    Now that I have read this delightful story and had my nightly guffaw, I can sleep.

    Classic.

    Now that your secret is out, I’m thrilled to not be “the only” one. Been plucking a few wild hairs for quite a while.

    Now maybe I’ll think of this story instead of the three pigs and the hair on their chinny, chin chin.

    GUFFAW, GUFFAW, GUFFAW!

  90. 90

    so funny. Love it. Thank you for the laugh, after a long couple of weeks… now I can sleep :-)

  91. 91

    Hysterical. Oh, and the hair on the chin thing, only gets worse as you get older.

    I can totally tell how excited you are now!