I am not an organized person.
It’s true.
You don’t want me in charge of any kind of committee or your income taxes or even your grocery list. I am just not great with details and timelines and remembering to buy ketchup even though it’s the first thing on the list.
But there’s one area of my life that is different. My closet.
I need my closet to be organized. I need things to be folded and in order. When my closet makes sense, my life makes sense.
And so it has been driving me crazy that I haven’t had time to do a thorough closet clean out this fall. This is something I do twice a year; once in the spring and once in the fall. I go through all my clothes, throw out the things I know I won’t wear again and move the out of season clothes to the top shelves and put the in season clothes front and center.
But it’s been a busy fall and I haven’t had the time to do this until this past Saturday. Caroline had a soccer game at 8:30 Saturday morning (I know. It was so depressing. We had to leave the house at 7:20. I can’t even think about it without yawning.) and a friend came home with her after the game. P left for the ranch and this left me with vast amounts of time to get my closet organized.
(Please know that I realize this sounds terribly boring and I’ve just destroyed any illusions you had about my glamorous life.)
Normally I like to do my fall clean out by mid-October and the state of my closet has been driving me crazy for weeks because I can’t even evaluate what I might need for fall and winter until I get down my clothes from last year and remember what I already own. And maybe that’s why I was so ruthless this time. I took no prisoners. There was none of this sappy, sentimental “maybe it will make a comeback” or “maybe it will be retro-chic” or “what if Caroline needs it for pharmaceutical sales rep dress up day at school?”
Nope.
I got rid of it all. Starting with this:
94 isn’t someone’s number. That’s the year I bought that sweatshirt. 1994. As in, almost twenty years ago. The best part is I texted Gulley a picture of it and asked if she wanted it because I was getting rid of it. And she texted me back “Why are you getting rid of it?”
Um. Do you not see the 94 on the front of it? It’s like a large beacon announcing I’m middle-aged. The real question is why did I still even own it until Sunday when I took it to Goodwill.
Next up:
A green jacket from Target. This used to be one of my work staples five years ago. But it was time to accept there was no reason to keep holding on to a jacket I paid $29.99 for eight years ago. And that a day was never going to come again.when I’d feel it was a good day to wear a jacket the color of Kermit the frog.
Next:
A seersucker suit from Banana Republic. Yes, I paid full price for it. Ten years ago. I wore this for Easter the year Caroline was four and it was old then. Sometimes you just have to realize your life no longer calls for a seersucker suit. And that if a dressier occasion comes up, it may not be the best choice to dress like an old Southern gentleman if you are, in fact, a forty-something woman.
And this:
I don’t even know what to say. Please don’t be envious that you don’t own a denim trench coat with a fur collar that would make a muppet jealous. I bought this when Gulley and I went to New York ELEVEN years ago and I’ve held on to it for sentimental reasons. I’ve worn it two times total. I believe this was a “caught up in the moment” purchase.
Along with this:
This was my favorite sweatshirt for years. I wore it all the time. The FDNY used to be red and now it’s white. I really can’t even justify wearing it around the house anymore.
Next up:
Michael Jackson wants to know why I raided his closet. The only time I ever wore this I had an inexplicable urge to moonwalk.
And, finally:
These were like the original yoga pants before anyone really wore yoga pants. I bought them at Gap the year before P and I got married. That would be 1996. And I wore them out in public. I mean check out the inseam on those bad boys. There’s no way that crotch wasn’t hitting me somewhere around my knees. Oh, the shame.
But there were two things I couldn’t quite let go:
This is a Gap flannel plaid shirt that belonged to Gulley in college. I bought it from her at a garage sale for $2.00 about ten years ago. I have no real explanation for this. I keep thinking I’m going to need it for something and can’t bear to part with it. Maybe I can use it next Halloween and dress as a lumberjack.
And this:
I bought this the year P and I got married. 1997. It’s a Patagonia fleece and I wore it on all of our Campus Life ski trips and even on New Year’s Eve 1999 when I thought it might be the end of the world and Y2K was imminent. That means I really loved it. I almost threw it out but I just couldn’t bear it. So it lives to see another year inside my closet.
Then after I made a huge pile to take to Goodwill, I was left with a nice, neat closet and the world makes sense again. Colors are more vibrant. The air is clearer and birds sing.
Am I alone in this? Do you clean out your closet? Do you have things that you hold onto for no good reason at all? Is there seersucker lurking in your dark corners?