Many things surprised me about motherhood; going weeks without a good night’s sleep, how much you can love someone who initially just uses you for food and shelter, and discovering that Dino Nuggets actually taste pretty good, especially when they’re dipped in ranch dressing.
But the thing that surprised me most of all was the realization that motherhood requires you to wear a swimsuit on a daily basis all summer long.
It doesn’t seem fair considering that part of becoming a mother often means carrying a child and watching your stomach grow beyond all reasonable proportions. Not to mention the fact that your rear end also gets larger in spite of the fact that you’re not actually carrying anything in there.
And there is nothing like having a newborn in the house that will make a woman put away her body weight in some M&M’s or any other chocolate substance that can be found.
Then that first summer post-child rolls around and you discover it’s like some Mommy Code of Honor to suit up and join the other mamas around the swimming pool. The only saving grace is that you’re all in it together.
Except for the mom who spends every waking minute at the gym and has the abs of a sixteen year old, because no one wants to sit next to her for obvious reasons.
Last year I read Nora Ephron’s book “I Feel Bad About My Neck”, which is hysterical by the way, and as she talks about growing older she makes the comment that if she had known then what she knows now she would have worn a bathing suit everywhere she went throughout her twenties.
Amen sister.
And Nora, if you’re reading by any chance. Love you. Love your writing. Please quit reading or I will get nauseated thinking that Nora Ephron might be reading something I wrote.
Anyway, since wearing a swimsuit is a reality for many of us, let’s get started.
First, if you are looking for a cheap swimsuit then head to Target, Walmart or TJ Maxx. I have spent many years wishing that I could wear an inexpensive swimsuit, but it’s just not possible. I need a little help from a little friend I like to call UNDERWIRE. And Target doesn’t bother with underwire in their swimsuits.
Plus, if I’m going to be wearing such a small amount of clothing then I don’t want a $10.00 strap being all that stands between me and complete humiliation at the neighborhood swimming pool.
I received a lot of different questions about swimsuits, but ultimately everyone was asking something along the lines of “Where can I find a swimsuit that performs miracles and can walk on water?”
And the answer is nowhere. It does not exist.
But here are some suggestions that may help you in your quest.
The first place I would look is Lands End. One really cool thing about the Lands End site is that you can enter in your size and measurements and it will create a virtual model in your size. And then you can try various swimsuits on the virtual model.
However, we all know that a computer generated image isn’t going to have any stretch marks, cellulite or girls that have suffered the effects of nursing three children, but it still gives you an idea. A guideline, if you will.
Let’s start with the suit favored by many a mama. The tankini.
Here are a few really cute tankinis from Lands End that are stylish and offer great support. I love this halter tankini that comes with a coverup skirt. And how cute is this giraffe print tankini that comes with underwire and built-in SPF 50? Plus it has ruching which camouflages the tummy area.
Why it’s a miracle of modern engineering.
And here’s another tankini that comes with bottoms with a side-tie. I personally believe that the side-tie is very flattering because it creates some kind of illusion, but maybe that’s just me. I have no scientific proof.
Maybe I could conduct a highly scientific experiment regarding the side-tie one and enter it in a Science Fair.
Aerin Rose also makes really great swimsuits with good support that come in regular and plus sizes. And I love that you can order the bottoms and tops separately. Here’s a tankini from Aerin Rose. I love the pattern.
I adore this tankini by La Blanca from Nordstrom but, alas, it has no underwire so we are not meant to be. However, if you can live without the underwire I think it’s just darling.
Okay, so now for the traditional bikini. I know many of you may balk at the idea of wearing a bikini but I am spreading the swimsuit love to everyone. So here are a few that I love.
Have I mentioned that I love Aerin Rose swimwear? Because I do. I really, really do. This is a great swimsuit and you can choose from various bottom and top styles depending on what you like and feel comfortable in.
Freya also makes really good suits, like this one.
J.Crew has all kinds of different suits and offer mix and match bottoms and tops. Love that.
The one-piece is experiencing a bit of a resurgence. I just don’t know that I can go back to a one-piece swimsuit. It reminds me too much of the black one-piece with multi-colored polka dots with faux buttons down the side that I wore throughout much of junior high. I have one-piece issues, but there are some good ones out there and nothing will hold in your stomach better than having it covered up.
That is an actual scientific fact.
Lands End makes a suit called the slender suit that supposedly makes you look one size smaller than you really are. Of course the real question is can you look two sizes smaller if you wear two at the same time? Because that would be gold, baby, gold.
Here’s a one-piece in a fun zebra print.
And here’s one with a ruffle detail which I really like.
A few important things to keep in mind while shopping for swimsuits no matter what your style and personal preference.
1. Make sure you actually move around in it like you will when you wear it. Bend over, lift your arms, and move around to make sure everything stays in place. Because when your child takes off a full speed towards the deep end of the pool, you don’t want to have to worry about the girls falling out in mid-run.
And, hypothetically speaking, if your pool has a brand new slide that you decide to go down to impress your daughter, you don’t want to have to worry about almost losing your bottoms. Hypothetically speaking.
2. On that point, try different sizes to get the right fit. If the bottoms don’t have enough coverage, then try different bottoms. Going up a size isn’t going to necessarily help and may just give you saggy bottom syndrome once they are wet.
3. As painful as it may be, look at yourself in a three-way mirror to make sure everything you want covered is actually covered. Just a quick look is all it takes, don’t torture yourself.
4. Last of all remember that NO ONE will be more critical of how you look in a bathing suit than you. Every other mama is a lot more worried about how she looks than how you look. Find something comfortable that you feel good in and call it a day.
In case you haven’t found what you’re looking for, here are a few more links to some sites that have good swimwear selections. Beachbliss, Figleaves, Swimsuits for All, Lion’s Lair Specialty Swimwear, and Best Swimwear.
And just remember, a little fake tan makes everything look better.
That’s yet another scientific fact.
Which brings us to a grand total of three scientific facts in one post.
It’s a new Big Mama record.
Happy Friday, y’all.
Long live the Land’s End Tankini! 🙂 They’re my favorites. I just ordered a suit this year from Athleta, which I love, but a friend who has an Athleta suit has warned me that they do not hold up well. I guess time will tell.
And long live the fake tanner. 🙂 I just discovered Clarins. That stuff rules. But it might break the bank, is all.
Land’s End has bottoms and tops you can order in separate sizes, too. And lots and lots of skirted bottoms, God bless ’em.
Do fake tans cover varicose veins? Maybe that could be another science fair experiment.
I don’t mind so much the other moms seeing me, as we are all in the same boat; I just dread having those young pretty lifeguards looking at me and swearing to themselves never, ever to let children ruin their lives like that…
‘Cuz I’m pretty sure that’s what I did, oh, 20 or so years ago.
How about maternity options?
Is acceptable for the bump to hang out, or would I be better to wear the ‘tent’.
Loved the giraffe tankini!
This is what I always ask myself……..”if Christ returns now when I am in this swimsuit, am I covered appropriately?” I know, I know, but I can’t help it, that is what I go by. And yes, I know HE sees everything I wear. And HE knows all….but it is stuck in my mind. Ok. More coffee.
I love the tankini from Aerin Rose, I would have never even seen it had you not posted it, you have such great ideas! So funny about wearing a bathing suit everywhere you go in your twenties, I’m 48 and I’m just laughing out loud thinking darn why didn’t I do that???? You only have that figure for a very short time! Well, I guess with the booming plastic surgery business there still is a way, just can’t afford that :0) Thanks for sharing all of these suits, now I have some great ideas!
I already have my Lands End suit picked out and on order. My problem is I am a high school youth worker and I get to go to Florida for a week with all the pretty young thangs. UGH. The sight of me in my suit is the best birth control there is. “So THAT’S what happens after you have 4 kids.” Pray for me. 🙂
Thanks for grabbing this thing straight by the horns and for setting us straight – proper coverage matters more than looking all that.
Mighty fine teaching…
“Lands End makes a suit called the slender suit that supposedly makes you look one size smaller than you really are.”
Yes, but may I point out that while the parts covered by the swimming suit will make you look one size smaller (and “the girls” cannot take that), the parts that are not in the said suit will look 2 sizes BIGGER! My thighs cannot take that.
As for the maternity swim suit someone asked about above? Let the bump show in a one piece. Just not in a bikini. Please. Especially if you’re 9 1/2 months pregnant.
Question!?!
I am 28 years old and will be going to the beach one month after having my second child. I do plan to nurse and be in the condo a lot, but will venture out to the beach/pool each day. I need a swim suit, when should I buy post pregnancy? Right before I leave? Also, I struggle with suits because I feel like if I buy from Lands End then I am officially 30 (no offense), but they seem to look older, but maybe it’s the model. Anyway, this suit will get worn a lot over the years since I live in Florida. I’m ready to spend some money on a suit, but after having a baby I might want to wait till next year. What do you think?
I am all about the tankini. The worst is trying to go potty with a wet one-piece.
Going the maternity tankini route this summer. Amazingly, I am less concerned about how I look when I am (noticeably) pregnant. I guess that’s because I am SUPPOSED to look (noticeably) pregnant.
I have always been anti-skirted bottom, but I saw some really really great ones at Macys. Great post.
I need underwire AND padding… those are nearly impossible to find together. Thanks for the site suggestions… I’ll give them a looksee!
I took a trip to the Outterbanks one year a few months after I had out third baby. I grabbed my bathing suit that I had worn after the other kids and guess what – you already know – it didn’t fit. All the stores down there sold bikini’s!!! That was it. My only choices! I thought I was going to die. But I wasn’t going to not swim over a bikini and ruin our week long vacation.
I do have to say – there are mom’s who judge you, I sadly know several although try to avoid them at all costs. We happened to be with one on the bikini trip.. I didn’t know she was “one of those” until I came out on the beach parading in my bikini.
I tell you what though, man.. I might not have been in good shape but my husband was so happy to see me in a bikini he kept raving about how awesome I looked. I’ve avoided anything that might show the slightest imperfection. When I had to flaunt it all, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, I might not be a teenager anymore but my husband made me realize I still got something to show off.
Although I do have to say I felt twinges of hatred towards those models you linked to in the bikinis… no one real looks like that!!! 😉
I have the Land’s End faille tankini and LOVE it! The fabric “keeps it all together”, so to speak. It’s well worth the extra money to skip the Target route on swimwear.
Also, thanks to one of your links from last week, Big Mama, I have a brand new kicky spring green skirt. So cute!
Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog – even when tackling the dreaded summer swimsuit. What a joy it is to have a Christian woman make me laugh out loud! I’ve been reading for a while but have never posted. Thank you for ministering to this mom of two little boys!
This may help out Angela who is buying a swimsuit one month after giving birth. In my determination to lose my pregnancy weight, I hit the lap pool 2 weeks after my son was born. Yes, I know this is not allowed, but I managed to get all my weight (40 lbs) off in 3 months by breaking the rules and by nursing! Yea for burning all those extra calories on another little person. Anyway, I found a cute “swim team” type suit one piece that helps suck it all in. Not glamorous I know but practical and slimming. So you could check out an athletic store for that type.
Here are my issues….(well SOME of them anyway)
The body parts the suit covers look just fine, nice and thin. However….the THIGHS are out of control!! It looks so much worse to be thin on top and heavy on the bottom. While I’d much rather be thin all over I have to also think I’d look better being proportionate even if it’s a heavier proportion… So while the suits look great and all, the short, squaty thighs and legs poking out look awful. And no swimsuit miracle can help that. 🙁
Skirted suits do help initially. Until you hit the water. THEN THE DUMB SKIRT *FLOATS*!!!! Hello??? Does it look AT ALL attractive to have your skirt be floating around your waist and allowing what’s underneath (basically a bikini look now) show???
Then we have the boy shorts. They looked better on me, too, than regular suits, UNTIL I RIPPED OFF THE LITTLE PROTECTIVE PAPER AND WORE THEM WITHOUT MY UNDERWEAR!! Imagine my shock and horror when I had just made the suit impossible to now return, and had no other suit option as I was at a pool gathering at someone else’s house!! BOY SHORTS DO NOT HAVE ANY KIND OF UNDERWEAR TYPE LINING OR EXTRA FABRIC TO KEEP THINGS IN PLACE. This means the fabric just OUTLINES *EVERYTHING* down there. And if feels very uncomfortable with that nasty seam going straight down the middle between everything. And when wet, let’s just say ‘curls’ can hang long and straight, past the suit. It was a nightmare.
So I have issues. I would like to go back to the olden days and wear the old suits that covered you from the knees up…
I just got a bathing suit from Lands End and it is FABULOUS! The wonderful thing is that I bought it at Sears. Sears owns Lands End, and the one closest to me has a portion of their store entirely dedicated to just Lands End. So I got to actually go and try it on before purchasing. I just don’t feel comfortable buying a bathing suit over the internet.
Anyways, it really is a fantastic bathing suit. It keeps all my stuff in the right place. That is key, my friend.
I feel Kate’s pain!!
I’m tiny at the top and then have THUNDER thighs, so what’s the point of putting on a tankini or a one-piece suit (and now at 45 I’m getting to the point of have to make that call), because they make me look even MORE out of proportion.
At least a two-piece me defines me somewhat. And I HATE the way wet fabric feels on my stomach!
And what about the way your chubby little thighs rub together?
And I’ve been meaning to ask you forever, but where did you find Caroline’s suit last year? I just loved that the legs had a little bit of length and cute ruffles on them. I need a new suit for my daughter so do you have any links for that?
Those miraclesuits make me want to barf. I grabbed one or two on accident when I was suit-shopping a couple weeks ago and thought, Man, I’m not the size I thought I was. Then I read the tag and found out this suit was going to “make me look one size smaller” by squishing all the fat, thereby making it ooze out the bottom and the top of the swimsuit. No thank you. I ended up buying Lands’ End. 🙂
Another “pear” here Kate and Nelson’s Mama. Now I’ve always been of the opinion that the more skin I cover the better for everyone involved, but thanks to Big Mama I’ve just spent some quality time with my Virtual Model who looks much better with a higher cut bottom, especially with a halter style top.
Is that model wrong or have I been wrong all these years? All my suits are boy cut bottoms or skirts…
And another scientific fact: If you feel all blobby and totally out of shape and ashamed to be seen in a swimsuit all you need to do is to go to a major water park. Here in Texas, that would be Hurricane Harbor. Evidently there is a whole subset of women who did *not get the memo* about not wearing bikinis if your stomach completely obscures the whole bottom of the bikini, etc.etc. I’m telling you, you will feel like a model for a fitness magazine after just a few hours there. It is a GREAT self-esteem booster.
Also, Athleta.com has some great bathing suits. However, they are big in to the halter tankini top. I don’t know about ya’ll, but my neck was never meant to hold up my girls 🙂
First, AMEN to the underwire. I am so glad that you admitted that! I just bought a suit from Dillard’s, and I was wondering what is wrong with my boobs that I can’t wear the cheap suits, and must pay $1 million for underwire.
Second, HELLO to the pear shapes that commented. I am so pleased that designers figured out the underwire problem, but NASA needs to get to work on the thigh cellulite problem. The skirts/shorts are the only option, but even they only cover 1/4 of the problem.
Having a tan makes me look 2 sizes smaller, I SWEAR.
Amen to the Mama’s being in it together…
Kate’s post is cracking me up – totally in the “laughing WITH you” kind of way! I’ve been sorely tempted to try a bikini bottom under the boy shorts!
To all the pear-shaped women out there, let me say that Canadacole has discovered a very true fact courtesy of the virtual model. If you have heavier thighs you will look much better in some bottoms that are higher cut on the legs as opposed to boy shorts or a skirt which just accentuate that area.
Hard to believe, but it’s true.
I am absolutely LOVING that geisha print tankini top but why oh why is it $78? Sniff…
Bigmama what I don’t see addressed is the issue as to whether or not a person should wear a bikini. Sitting at the marina during the summer I see too many woman wearing a two piece when in fact it makes them look worse! Sometimes I have to shield my childrens eyes!
I like the ruffled one piece! With a skort or cover up…
I’m a little depressed now.
But hey! I get to worship with FryDaddy and learn under Mrs. Beth tonight and tomorrow, so I will get over swimsuit sadness and look! outside! there’s snow! on the ground! So swimsuits may not be happening for awhile here in CO.
Have a blessed Friday, Melanie!!
holly
Oh, thank you for writing this post, but I’m going to just pretend that swimsuit season will not happen this year because I’m not in any kind of shape to be seen with limited clothing. Denial: it’s my new friend.
I’ve been looking at the slender suit from LE for a while. The thing I like about it as opposed to others is the little “modesty” piece that goes right at that cleavage (did I spell that right?) point.
My bikini issues go way deeper than showing imprefection. I have serious modesty issues with wearing a bikini. But that’s a personal issue I suppose.
But, I’m beginning to think that I need an underwire even with a one piece… we’ve got definite sag issues here. Which is why I haven’t pulled the trigger on the LE suit. It doesn’t say it has underwire, just a soft cup bra. Any suggestions? Anyone?
Also… my Sears in VA had LE stuff, but not my one here in TX. Not all of them have the clothes… you have to look online and it will tell you if a Sears near you carries LE mdse.
Oh, and on the 2 piece suit thing… I have to also say I grew up going to the lake and water skiing. My bottoms came down one too many times after a hard fall. And once is too many. So, I’m even a little sketchy on the tankini.
Thank you for addressing the hard issues that plague our life!You rock!
Don’t forget about Victoria’s Secret swimwear. They have some very high quality decent tankinis in fun prints that also have a good slimming effect! Miracle Bra support as well:)
Big mama, you have saved my summer! For years I’ve been trying to cover my thighs with boy shorts and skirts, and all this time, I should have been focusing on high cut.
Here’s my question though: Is there a suit that has a high cut on the thighs but also leaves adequate fabric in the rear? Because I have me some ample “junk in the trunk”, and I noticed that some swimsuits don’t just cut the fabric high, but also in the back. I’m trying to avoid the thong look. No one needs to see that.
Unless the fake tan turns out to be flourescent orange!
re: pear-shaped women
Brickhouse and canadacole are so right. A higher cut on the leg/hip will look the best on you. Since the latest fashion swim wear has been going in the opposite direction for the past few years I’ve had to leave the department store and stick to one-piece competition swim wear. The bottoms of tankinis never seem to have a high enough cut for my shape.
And this year I found a great bargain! At swimoutlet.com they have a line called ClubSwim that are all on sale for around $20. I bought two and love them. The material is the same quality as my old Speedo for 1/3 the price and the prints are cute. My favorite is this brown with turquoise accents.
I like to buy new swimsuits at the beach. I wait a few days so that I have a tan (I feel better about myself, fat is easier to take tanned), and they usually have so many more suits to choose from.
Prices are not better, but hey, I’m on vacation…
Fake tan? Any recommendations?
Big Mama,
Thanks for doing all that swimsuit research!
Also, ATHLETA has some really cute swinsuits.
I love Land’s End swim suits. I have two and one of them I got two years ago and still looks like I just bought it. I like the virtual model thing too. It did give me an idea so when I tried them one I wasn’t so shocked. I do agree with the 3-way mirror, and for me it was a VERY quick look.(I might have passed out other wise) And yes no one is more critical of the way you look than yourself. Thanks for all the help!
I am a mother of nine. I think there is a rule somewhere that when you’ve had 4 children, you don’t get to wear a swimsuit again. Ever. But I will admit that Lands’ End ROCKS! And I’m not just saying that because, secretly? I want them to send me boatloads of kids’ clothes to test. Nope. I really do love them!
Loved the post. Another mix-n-match and women’s bodily conscious swimsuit site is Newport News (www.Newport-News.com).
Got any advice for us moms with itty-bitty “girls?” Know where to find flattering suits in small sizes?
i’ve heard the LE suits run small…even so i ordered the control top miniswim skirt and it did control the tummy area but caused a major panty line under the skirt..dont like at all..i do love the damask halter swim top i got..i am big busted (DD) and it comes with a wire in D and DD and the cleavage is not bad..pretty good coverage..i will look for another swim bottom at LE Sears or target. also if you order from LE online you can return to Sears.
oh and for the MATERNITY question…i noticed yesterday that Target has a CUTE black maternity tankini..it has darlin little knife pleat ruffles..they have such cute maternity dresses and tops right now too..
i have a FREYA bra and love it (it is pretty ugly though..) wish they made tankini tops..looks like all bikinis seperate..oh well.
I appreciate you sharing the link to Aerin Rose. I’d never heard of them before. I like that they use plus size models to model their plus size swimwear (which, unfortunately, I require). There’s nothing like seeing a 98lb stick then model in a swimsuit to give you an idea what your plus size body will look like in it!
I splurged on the Land’s End suit this year – love it! I actually bought two different sizes and just got back returning the other one – did you know you can return their stuff at Sear’s?
I am pregnant with #5 right now and just try to get in the pool as soon as possible. It’s really best for everyone concerned.
I have always been a little intrigued by the swimdress…I think they are elegant, very Esther Williams-y. But I’ve never had the courage to actually get one….
I second, third, eightieth the maternity swimsuit questions!
Pears unite!! I too am a pear. And Big Mama is right. I once left a dressing room and went straight to the Cookie Co in the mall after trying on boyshorts, they looked so hideous and I was sure they were my answer. Another tip: try to find a suit with some sort of tie at the bottoms, like a few of the ones shown. (I am not talking about a string here), because it does create an illusion. Beautiful!!!
You forgot those of us that don’t fall out of our bathing suits. More specifically, some of us live in the land of size A. Not all over, mind you. My butt is clearly tip-toeing to a DD. Padding is our friend, except when the top padding portion is sized differently than we are. Then all we end up with is the concave look. Oh, and may I tell you how incredibly hot that is. Dented breasts and cellulite! Can’t wait that bathing suit season is here!
I can’t believe I’m commenting now, but I had to tell you that I went bathing suit shopping yesterday. My new beagle puppy chewed up my favorite bathing suit bottoms two days ago(I know disgusting) and your post inspired me to go take a look. The dressing room experience was a little tramatic, but I did find a cute little tankini at Kohl’s regularly $38 a piece. I ended up getting each for something like $21.99 and then I had a 15% coupon. Wohoo! It is black and white pattern and a built in short skirt. Covers the booty well and flatters at the top. I am set for summer. Well, if I keep the suit out of puppy reach, that is.
I ordered that same 3pc tankini. I liked it, but I’d ordered 3 suits to pick my fave, and I picked a different one and sent the 3pc back. It was really cute, though!
Um….. where are the pictures of you holding the camera in your bathroom mirror while modeling your bathing suits for your devoted readers????
Too great! Love all the suggestions. I needed this about two years ago when I realized that the dressing rooms at Target were designed by Satan’s minions. NEVER TRY ON A SWIMSUIT IN A TARGET DRESSING ROOM. Not pretty.
“your rear end also gets larger in spite of the fact that you’re not actually carrying anything in there.”
*snort*
wow…you did your research….great post !!
What a great post. I found you on a blogroll and am glad I came over. My kids are older now and boy do I remember the days of “let’s go swimming”. I haven’t had the abs of a 16 year old, hmmm not sure I ever had them LOL.
In regard to the maternity swimsuits…I borrowed a friend’s maternity tankini 2 summers ago and loved it! I can’t remember what brand it was, but I’m going to try to find out. The top was a little longer and the bottoms were bikini-type that covered the belly. (problem is, i need it again this summer…) 🙁
Here’s a link to one that looks alot like it and I’m thinking of buying it. What do you think?
http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?ViewSource=&Product_Id=25671582&category_Name=Tankini&Category_Id=1582&MasterCategory_Id=18
Oh Big Mama! I trust your fashion judgement on most things, I really have used it while shopping. I found a shirt that you blogged about once and my friend knew which one I was talking about because again it came from Big Mama’s Fashion FridayThe trouser jean, the little bra unsershirt thing, shoes, yes, yes, yes.. but here goes….the giraffe suit?! Really!? I can not think of one woman who could pull that off, not even a VS model. And I just picked up a giraffe suit (baby Gap) for my little Tatumn, she is 2.5, and she told me in her cute little Chinese accent, “I no like this.”
I will not even pretend to be able to fill a pinky toe of your Fashion Shoes, I just needed to put it out there.
I hope you don’t block me from your blog….:)
I love coming to your blogs you always have great information on where to find helpful clothing! Thanks for your research.
That virtual model was so neat–thanks for all the info too:)
Julieann
hey, nora…
I, too, think your book is a hoot. and a half.