Dear Caroline,
Today you are thirteen. You are officially a teenager. And all I know is that the last thirteen years have been the fastest of my life.
It seems like it was just a few weeks ago that the doctor told me that Daddy and I better head to the hospital because it sounded like I was most definitely in labor. My contractions continued to get stronger as Daddy drove us to the hospital and what I most vividly remember was that I felt a combination of emotions that ranged from excited to terrified at what was ahead. I was about to be someone’s mom and the only thing I knew for sure was that I had no idea what I was doing. But then there you were, a tiny, long-legged baby with eyes that never seemed to blink as you took in your new world. And, thirteen years later, here you are – still long-legged and taking in the world – and some days I still have no idea what I’m doing.
But here’s what I know for sure. Of all the things I have done in my life, being your mom is at the top of my list.
This year you wanted to celebrate your birthday with a week at the beach with one of your best friends, so we’re at Port Aransas which has always been one of your favorite places. When we arrived yesterday, you and Maddy ran to jump in the waves and, as I watched you, I was shocked by how big you suddenly seemed. I think somewhere in my mind’s eye, I still picture you as some version of the little girl in this video who loved her watermelon gum and told us “Port Aransas is just like Hawaii”.
The Beach from Big Mama on Vimeo.
But I took in the fact that you’re now almost 5’3″ tall (The pediatrician confirmed last week you’ve grown three inches and gained twenty pounds this year.) and the way you confidently ran right into the ocean without needing to wait for us to give you the okay or for Daddy and me to go with you and I realized this is where we are in life now. You are running with confidence toward all the world has to offer and Daddy and I are here just taking it all in, cheering you on and amazed at the person you have become.
As we sat on the beach, watching you play in the waves, we agreed that we have watched you grow more as a person this past year than any other year. Seventh grade brought its share of challenges, but you learned so much about yourself. You stood strong for what you believe in, made new friends, played for two different soccer teams and worked hard in school.
You realized you love science and hated band. And when you had the option to get out of band to try a new elective, I was so proud that you chose to be a peer tutor to help kids with special needs. And then, a few weeks ago, you drove to Dallas with Gulley and me to see Jen. I will never forget the way you sat next to me as we left the hospital and held my hand so tight as you kept checking to see if I was okay. You are kind, loyal and compassionate and I love that about you.
You have always been my tomboy and that hasn’t changed. You love hunting with Daddy more than just about anything but this has been the summer that you have also discovered how much you love fishing. The two of you have fished both the Louisiana and Texas coast this summer and Daddy is always so pleased that even the toughest fishing guides never cease to be impressed by your fishing acumen and ability. That’s his DNA at work for sure and it’s just one of many reasons the two of you are like peas and carrots.
And while Daddy has instilled in you a love of the outdoors, I believe one of the things I’ve handed down to you is a love of the Netflix marathon. You and I watched all seven seasons of Parks and Recreation in record time earlier this summer and your immediate love and appreciation for all the quirky characters warms my heart and makes me so proud. And when we both laugh out loud at something at the same time, it is maybe one of my favorite things ever. We are a family who has a deep appreciation for a good sense of humor and you have that covered. We’ve since moved on to Alias. I first watched it when I was pregnant with you thirteen years ago and thought Sydney Bristow was the coolest girl ever, but now I realize that’s because I didn’t know you yet.
The other day you said, “Mom, I’m about to be a teenager. Are you scared?” And the truth is I’m not. I’ll tell you what I am. So proud.
I’m proud of who you are and who you are becoming. I’m proud of the choices you make, the way you stand up for what’s right, the way you love others, and the way you serve God. I’m proud of the grit and determination you show in every aspect of your life – maybe with the exception of remembering to hang up your bath towel most nights.
In the words of the song Golden by Lady Antebellum, “Shadows run and darkness fades when you come around. My single star amongst the gray always shining down.”
Happy 13th birthday, my sweet girl. Daddy and I are excited for all that lies ahead for you and so grateful for every bit of the last thirteen years. You are our best dream come true.
Love,
Mom