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Fifteen

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Dear Caroline,

Today you are fifteen. What on earth?

Later this morning we will brave the atrocity known as the DPS office and bring in seventy-eight different pieces of paperwork and sixty-four different forms of identification so that you can get your learner’s permit and officially start getting behind the wheel of a car. Which is so weird considering that you looked just like this yesterday.

Those fairy wings may make it hard to fit in the driver’s seat.

It’s such a cliche to say that the time has gone by so fast, but it has. The time has gone by so fast that it takes my breath away.

In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago that I was a brand new, teary-eyed mom being handed this little five pound miracle wrapped in a hospital blanket, but in other ways it feels like it was last week. I can hardly remember life before you were here, yet it’s hard to imagine that we are just three years away from moving you into a college dorm that will hopefully not be too far away because your mother can only bear so much.

Here’s what no one tells you about motherhood. Or maybe they tell you and we just choose to not believe it or think it will be different. Just about the time that your little people turn into these hilarious, remarkable, engaging creatures is when you’re on the precipice of having to launch them into adulthood. It’s the natural order of things. I get that the whole idea of parenthood is to raise self-sufficient people who will make their own way in the world and I can’t wait to see where you go and what you do, but there are days I wish I could just keep you here with us forever.

Here’s one of the things about you that I love. You make us laugh every single day. From the Avo-cardio pajamas that you had to have that feature an avocado doing a workout wearing a sweatband, to the way you made fun of me for how excited I got in the orthodontist’s office the day your braces came off, you are one of the funniest people I know. And we are a family that prizes a sense of humor over just about all other traits. Am I proud of you for being a good person? Yes. Am I maybe even more proud every time you make a sarcastic comment that makes me laugh out loud? PERHAPS.

During this last year, I’ve watched you grow up in a million different ways. You’ve never been one not to speak your mind, but you’ve become more secure and vocal about who you are and what you believe. You’ve had hard conversations, you’ve dealt with injuries and other disappointments, you’ve pushed yourself academically and athletically, and your dad and I couldn’t be more proud as we’ve watched you grow and change.

This year has been the year that I’ve prayed Jeremiah 17:8 over you more times than I can count:

You will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.

Of course I decided to turn to the Bible for wisdom after you totally busted me for quoting from the movie Mulan and telling you after a hard day that “the rarest orchid blooms in adversity”. Who knew I’d even accidentally memorized part of Mulan?

Jeremiah 17:8 is the verse God showed me for you. Because here’s the thing, life is hard. Drought and heat will come. Disappointments will happen. Things won’t always work out like you hope or pray they will. But when you continue to find your confidence and your hope in who God created you to be and the plans he has for you that may sometimes look different than you imagined, then your life will never fail to bear fruit. Your life will never fail to be an adventure. That is my deepest prayer and wish for you from now until forever.

Last fall, we were killing time in a hotel room in Houston and I had you take an Enneagram personality test even though I was already pretty certain you were a Type 8, otherwise known as The Challenger because you have challenged me since the day you were born on everything from potty-training to your wardrobe. Sure enough, your answers proved you are a solid Type 8. Here’s a brief excerpt from the official description:

“They take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. They are honorable and authoritative—natural leaders who have a solid, commanding presence. Their groundedness gives them abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. Eights are willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone.”

That pretty much sums you up. I’ve always said that you’re like your dad and firmly believe that if someone doesn’t like you, then it’s their own personality flaw and no comment on you. As a confirmed lifelong people-pleaser, this trait of yours leaves me in constant awe and amazement. You know what else? You challenge me to approach life more like you do.

Last night we went to dinner, just the two of us. And as I looked at you across the table, you took my breath away. You are everything I ever dreamed about and so much more. You are light and love and joy and strength. Daddy and I couldn’t love you more. We couldn’t be more proud of the person you have become and the determination that you show in every aspect of your life. We think you are magic.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl. Drive safe and have patience with your mom as she grips the dashboard and applies an imaginary brake while she sits in the passenger seat.

Love,
Mama

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  3. Happy 15th birthday sweet Caroline!

    Mimi and I moved from Houston to San Antonio the week you turned two years old. We wanted to be part of your every day life and to watch you grow. What a great move that was! You were at our house all the time, spending nights, going out to eat, playing chase in the front yard, and getting me in the pool every Saturday morning as soon as the sun came up.

    Where has the time gone and how can you possibly be 15? We love the beautiful young lady you’ve become, we love your competitive nature in soccer and track, we love your personality, and we love your kind heart and spirit.

    The best is yet to come for you, and Mimi and I will always be your biggest cheerleaders!

    Love always,

    Bops

  4. Happy Birthday Caroline! What a beautiful birthday message. (Melanie….please be aware that when riding with your 15 year old driver, mailboxes have been moved closer to the road!!)

  6. Happy Birthday Sweet Caroline! Fifteen! Happen, happen!

    It does seem like just yesterday we were watching that ‘mean nurse’ prick your foot at the hospital. Watching you grow into the beautiful person you are has been a precious gift.

    You are such a bright shining light in our world and we love you so very much.

    Love you baby,
    Mimi

  8. Oh my word this is beautiful !! Gracious , you have a way with words – you should write a book, oh wait 😉 happy birthday Caroline !! Ps where did you get her avacodo pjs ? My daughter would lose her mind over them 😉

  9. Happy birthday to your beautiful Caroline! This post is so beautiful and amazing and made me teary-eyed…and then I read the comments from Mimi and Bops, which took this to another level. How blessed is Caroline to be loved by so many. The unconditional love and support of grandparents is an amazing gift. Enjoy celebrating your special girl!

  10. The annualreading of the birthday-blog-tear-shedding-event has commenced. HBD to your C and Happy Birthing Day to you. ??

  12. Oh Melanie this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing these words that reflect your love for Caroline. So full of wit & wisdom on parenting ?

  13. Happy birthday to Caroline! And prayers for you, Melanie! I read this while (trying to) get my newborn to sleep and I am tearing up just thinking about how fast the time will go. Although I do look forward to when my kids can appreciate sarcasm.

  16. This is beautiful…but I confess… could only read a little bit of it! Sniff sniff! How did this happen so fast? And I’m so scared that the next 3 years will go by at lightning speed! Good luck to you, Mel, at the driving thing. I only thought I was going to die twice this week! That’s not too bad! Ha!Ha! Love yall!

  17. This made me cry at my desk! My oldest daughter just left this morning for her first day of her senior year. I have one more year – just one – with her sleeping in my house, eating dinner with us, coming home from dates, talking and seeing her face everyday. Hold on to the next three years because they are a blur.

    • Happy birthday Caroline! It’s been fun hearing about many of your adventures in this blog.
      Melanie, you have a great way with words. Next week we take my daughter – out oldest- to college. It does go fast! I am grateful to God that He has taught me that relationship is most important in this life. It sounds like you know that too.
      You are raising a beautiful daughter!

  20. I look forward to this post all year ever since I’ve started reading your blog. Sure, you joke about motherhood the other 364 days of the year but we all know the things described in this one post is how you really feel.

    Happy birthday, Sweet C!! You are a beautiful young lady, blessed, highly favored and a daughter of the King! It’s been a joy to watch you grow up and I look forward to hearing your mother’s tales of driving with you! They are bound to make me spit tea at my computer monitor!!

  22. After 3 girls learning to drive, there is now a hole in the floor of the passenger side of our car…but it’s worth it, for sure! Beautiful words – Happy Birthday, Caroline!

  23. I got to here: “Those fairy wings may make it hard to fit in the driver’s seat.” Before losing all control of my emotions in my cubicle. Being a working mom to a precious and kind four year old girl, birthdays are bittersweet. How can you be so thankful for something and also fear it? Thank you, Melanie (and Caroline) for modeling such a beautiful mother/daughter relationship for those of us just starting to figure it out. Happy Birthday, Caroline! And Congratulations Melanie and Perry!

  25. My, my how beautiful she is and how perfect an expression of your love for her. Happy birthday, Caroline!! Never stop the adventure!!

  27. I love this post. My 15-year-old granddaughter just got her learners permit. What a perfect analogy to use to describe the future of these teenagers—driving with mom in the passenger seat with the imaginary brake! As a grandparent, these years don’t just fly by, they race like a spaceship shooting to the moon! Good luck to Caroline. Hang in there, Mom. You’re doing a great job! (I have all your books and listen to the Big Boo podcast regularly!) Big fan!

  29. So beautiful. Both your letter and your daughter. Happy birthday, Caroline. I’ve enjoyed watching you (virtually) grow up.

  30. I just love these birthday posts, but they make me cry, too. (I think the first birthday post I remember reading was her ten year old one.) Caroline is beautiful in every way. I hope she has the happiest of birthdays.

  31. Happy 15th birthday Caroline! I hope you enjoy YOUR special day.

    And man, as usual Melanie, I get teary-eyed reading your birthday letters to Caroline. So sweet and beautiful!

  33. Caroline: I’m sure it’s the weirdest thing in the world to be wished “Happy Birthday” from a bunch of people you’ve never met, but thanks for letting us go on this journey with you and your mom. It’s been so much fun and I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride so far. I’m thinking that someday, your future husband and kids are going to have a ball reading this blog and getting to know all about their Sweet Caroline.

    So from one more person you’ve never met, happy birthday!

    But as I think about it, why couldn’t we meet? Um, I have two very handsome 17 year old sons…. Should I have them start reading the blog?

    Nah, I promise, I won’t do that….

    (Crossed fingers behind back)

  34. What a lovely letter. Happy birthday, Caroline! I can’t believe you’re 15, either, and I don’t even know you.

  36. Beautifully said. It would be nice if we could all express our love, pride, and respect of our children as well as you!

  37. As always – a beautiful written letter to such an a beautiful, inspiring girl (just like her mama)! Happy birthday, C!

  38. Oh I love this so much!! So beautiful and such wise words of wisdom. I’m keeping what you said in mind as I am raising my 7 year old daughter. Happy Birthday Caroline!

  39. I just ugly-cried through this whole post, and I don’t even know you!

    There is something so special about moms and daughters. Happy birthday, Caroline!

  40. Such a beautiful letter! Happy Birthday Caroline!
    What a blessing you are to your mom and dad!