**Apparently there was some kind of glitch with my blog and I couldn’t access my dashboard for the last twenty-four hours. It was probably God’s way of trying to save me from posting the most boring post in the history of blogging, but since it’s already written, I’m going to post it anyway because it’s either that or I can tell you what I had for breakfast.**
(Yogurt with granola and berries)
I’ve been sitting here for an hour trying to think of a clever way to start this post which is basically a recap of our uneventful weekend, but it’s hard for me to concentrate because P is sitting next to me in bed eating a huge bowl of ice cream and watching “CSI: Miami”. To be honest, I don’t know what makes me angrier, the fact that he’s eating a huge bowl of ice cream without a care in the world about how he’ll look in a swimsuit or Horatio and his overly dramatic line delivery.
Actually, it’s the ice cream that makes me angry. Although those three blueberries I had for dessert were delicious and totally satisfying.
So I won’t keep you in suspense any longer, here’s what we did this weekend.
On Friday night, Caroline spent the night with Mimi and Bops. They picked her up about 4:30 and I decided to celebrate my freedom by going to get a pedicure. We had a wedding to attend on Saturday night (more on that in a minute) so I wanted my toes to look nice since all of a sudden my face thinks it’s going through puberty and is breaking out. My hope was that a lovely shade of Cha-Ching Cherry on my toes would serve as a distraction from my walking ad for the tragic consequences of late 30’s hormonal shifts.
The pedicure would have been completely divine except they had the channel tuned to some show on Animal Planet about a dog with mange. I tried not to look but the pedicurist (I think I just made that word up) kept giving me graphic descriptions of the dog’s condition and maybe it’s just me but I don’t want to hear the word “scab” while I’m trying to relax.
After the pedicure, I picked up Mexican food for P and me. Sadly, the restaurant was out of queso which I don’t really understand since cheese is the building block of Mexican cuisine.
P’s back has really been bothering him lately and since I can’t convince him to go back to the acupuncturist, he spent a lot of the weekend in bed with his feet propped up trying to relieve the pressure. I keep telling him he should try acupuncture again, but he knows me well enough to know I may just be looking for new blog material.
Anyway, he spent Friday night in the bedroom watching various shows about weaponry and “The Bourne Supremacy” while I sat on the couch, admired my toes, and watched Season 1 of “Mad Men”.
Dear Mad Men Wardrobe Department:
I love you with all my heart and would like to run my fingers through your closets. My world is a happier, brighter place just knowing you exist in all your fabulousness. You complete me.
Adoringly,
Melanie
On Saturday night we were supposed to attend a friend’s wedding, but P’s back was really bothering him and we decided it was going to be too much. I thought about doping him up on painkillers but decided to save them for the new season of “The Bachelorette” because you know I’m going to need them.
(Side note to Jules who is on her honeymoon and probably not reading this: We love you and I know you were a beautiful bride.)
Anyway, I fixed my hair before we decided we shouldn’t go, so I told P I needed to run to HEB to pick up dog food because I hated to waste good hair and decided it should at least get out of the house for a few minutes. The cashiers didn’t seem to notice at all which is disappointing considering I used over sixteen bobby pins to achieve the perfect messy twist. I came back home so my hair and I could spend the rest of the evening eating pizza and watching Nascar with P.
Sometimes I think marriage is just all glitz and glamour.
On Sunday morning, I skipped church because the rain blew in pollen from every corner of the western United States and it was waging war on my sinuses. I don’t like to be overly dramatic but I think the only thing that kept me from death was a Zyrtec-D and three Diet Cokes.
Caroline spent most of the afternoon begging to go swim at the neighborhood pool while I kept telling her it was way too cold after all the rain. I finally gave in and told her we could go but she needed to know that I was not getting in the water for any reason barring global thermonuclear attack. It took us thirty minutes to get ready to go to the pool and three minutes for her to decide I was right. She tried to deny it but the blue lips gave her away.
In retrospect, if this weekend had a theme it would be getting ready for various events only to sit at home and do absolutely nothing.
Who knew it took this much work to be a hermit?