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Amazing grace

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I didn’t mean to leave you in suspense. The loud sound I heard Thursday night was, in fact, the end of the mouse as we knew it. And I feel fine.

However, I still haven’t put anything back in the cabinet because we still need to confirm that he was acting alone.

So yesterday morning I drove to Georgetown to speak to a MOPS group at First Baptist Church. (MOPS stands for mothers of preschoolers as opposed to mothers against preschoolers which is what P likes to call it.) They asked me to come talk about fashion and had even put together a great fashion show with the help of Old Navy. They were all such cute girls and I had a great time with them.

On the way there I had almost two hours of uninterrupted car time. It’s a rare thing these days for me to be in the car for any length of time all by myself and I was thoroughly enjoying singing loudly and badly with no one to criticize me or ask if I’d please play You Belong With Me for the sixteenth time in a row.

As I settled into the drive I began to think about a lot of things. The last few months have been challenging for a variety of reasons that I won’t really get into. I know I always make life seem like it’s a laugh a minute around here because I am an optimist in spite of myself and have never been one to get into the gloom and doom of things for too long. Because you know what has never solved a problem in the history of the world? Whining and complaining.

It’s true. Otherwise I could have solved a lot of problems in the early to mid-nineties. And maybe last week.

A few weeks ago, I attended a simulcast taught by Beth Moore called So Long, Insecurity. One of the things she said resonated so strongly with me. “We will never be secure until we realize we are fully loved by God, no matter our failings.” That was it for me. That’s it. I struggle with grace. I struggle to comprehend that I am fully loved by God no matter how much I fail.

Because I know myself. I know all my weaknesses and failures. I know what I’ve done and what I regret and what I’ve been saved from. I know all the ways I continue to fail on a daily basis. And if I’m disappointed in myself, then how is God not disappointed in me? How does He look at me with unfailing love and hope that I’ll do better tomorrow but won’t love me any less if I don’t?

It doesn’t make sense.

Over the last few weeks God has shown His love to me in a hundred different ways, just small simple things that I probably wouldn’t have even noticed before but have seen with fresh eyes. There have been times when I’ve almost felt like it was too much. More than I deserved. But in each one I saw his grace and his love.

I don’t really think about Austin (Georgetown is right outside of Austin) being a city that holds a lot of memories for me. I’ve never lived there and for a long time my only real memory was a night in college that Gulley and I got in trouble at a karaoke bar on Sixth Street after we got a little too overzealous with the microphone while singing “Respect”. Aretha can do that to a person. So can alcohol.

But as I drove into town I saw the hotel where we stayed during a baseball tournament in college right after I’d broken off an engagement. I remembered how I used to drive to Austin and Georgetown during my first job out of college and how scared I was and unsure about the future. And then, as if on cue, a big semi-truck passed me on the road and it was a truck from the company where I worked before P and I got married. It was easily the worst job I’ve ever had. I sold doors. Can you even imagine? Doors. I sold doors for people who asked that their employees not speak to them in the office.

It was like God was giving me a condensed version of This Is Your Life. A reminder of some of the places I’ve been and how He’s seen me through each and every one. Confirmation that He was weaving together plans and purposes and a future that I couldn’t have imagined. And I felt Him say to me in the deepest part of my heart, “You are so much harder on yourself than I am.”

I am. I’m hard on myself. I get caught up in the comparison game and feel like everyone is loving better, living more purposefully, doing more significant things and has a better heart than I do. I give other people the benefit of the doubt, but I never give myself that same grace. And that’s what God spoke to me yesterday. Grace.

He has never once looked at me, shook his head and said, “Wow. What a failure. I should have gotten someone else to do that.” That’s not how He works.

I don’t know if any of us have the capability or the comprehension to ever fully grasp the love of God. It’s too big. It defies all human rules and understanding. But over the last few weeks I’ve listened to David Crowder’s song How He Loves about fifty-six times. There is a line that has stuck with me that says “if His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking”. And yesterday I think I sunk a little deeper.

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  1. A most excellent post….Grace, so hard to grasp, but so giving from the Father. None of us deserve it, but all of us are offered it. And truly that song speaks volumes, Oh How He Loves Us……What an awesome God we serve, indeed!!

    Thanks for the inspirational words this morning!!

  4. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry the last couple of months have been difficult for you…Whatever it is, I’m sure really STINKS. I totally get how sometimes when things are really difficult, being funny is easy–and actually kind of therapeutic. I do that. It’s nice to escape into the funny-funny when life around me is in shambles. I’ve been struggling lately quite a bit–and I just have to keep going back…going back to praying the simple prayer, “God please help me…”

    Just recently I was praying, “God WHY would you help me, when so much of this is my own fault?”

    And I felt like a soft breeze blew into my room as I felt Him quietly saying, “Because I love you.”

    It’s something I know…But, yet sometimes in the middle of the craziness and failure, I forget.

    I’m so happy God has been showing His grace to you. Thank you so much for sharing about it…and being transparent.

  5. I really liked this break away from your usual style of blogging- while I LOVE you “laugh a minute” posts, and especially Fashion Friday, I too have been “sinking” a little deeper each day lately, and I found myself nodding and agreeing with everything you said here. It’s so nice when we stop and realise how much God has done and will continue to do in our lives. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Oh my…how in the world did you capture the thoughts in MY heart and mind so well? I could have written this (but I’m glad you did because you are funnier than me.) Seriously, thank you for blessing me by speaking so honestly.

    I had an experience in church this past Sunday that had me in tears. During worship, I sensed the love of God like I haven’t in some time. It wasn’t an emotional rush, it was real and I felt like it was just a glimmer, and that God was only letting enough light into my heart that I could handle. If He fully revealed His love for me it would be too overwhelming for me to take.

    Thank you for reminding me that I need to stop shaking my head at myself and reminding myself what a failure I am…and sink a little deeper in the love of God.

  7. When I opened the comments to post mine Branalyn had already posted my exact thoughts. So I will say it again Wow. Thanks.

  10. Long time lurker, and lover of your blog. I have it every morning with my coffee (I really mean diet coke). WQW THANKS….something I needed to read. Love your blog too.

  13. Thank you…

    I struggle with embracing the gift of grace, as well. Ironically, I have a ministry all about His sufficient grace. It happens to be one of the things I need the most, due to my own constant failings. I don’t always grasp it, but I’m sure grateful for it…

    Blessings, grace, and love to you…

    In His Grace,
    Kelly Gerken

  16. I could relate to so much of this…I’m hard on myself and I spend too much time thinking about my weaknesses and shortcomings. It helps me to think of my children and how I feel about them when they fail or make a bad decision. I think I love them harder in those moments and I like to think God does the same for me. Grace is a gift-not a reward. It really is ‘amazing’

    Loved this post today

  18. Grace can be so hard to wrap our minds around. Your not alone in that. We are all a work in progress. I love that He is not done with any of us yet.

  20. I LOVE your blog. My mom and I read it every day and we’ll email back and forth about “Did you see Big Mama’s newest post?” or “I just love starting my day with Big Mama.” You constantly make us laugh, we love your writing and you can do no wrong in our eyes!

    And as much as I love all the funny stories and one-liners, I think this is my favorite post so far! So well-written and pure and meaningful. I just wanted to send you some blog love because I think we can all be our biggest critics! Thank you for your writing 🙂

  23. Thanks for the seal on some good information. Myself and 5 other women sat around a pool for three days and enjoyed life without our lovely kids. As much of the encouragement as there was for one another, when it came time for us to speak of ourselves, it seemed to be conversation full of negativity. Compliments were followed by “Yeah, but….” Most of us had read “So long, insecurity”…now if we can just make the message STICK!

  26. I just CANNOT wait to read your new entries every day!! Love your writing style and it always brings a smile to my face to start my day. I so needed this this morning. I’ve struggled with the same and you put it into words perfectly. Thank you!!

  27. Thank you for sharing your heart! The Lord has been trying to tell me the same thing over the past few weeks! He used you to reinforce the message! God bless!

  29. My wife reads your blogs to me once in a while and this morning was awesome.
    She even got to cryin’ on account of the grace theme.
    Grace is a glorious thing; a gift I have been seeking to lay hold of more and more in the past few years. Two great ministers of grace today, that have blessed me are:
    Joseph Prince – ‘Destined to reign’ TV program on several christian channels; his
    Grace and Favor series from Hillsong Australia 2008 are very good.
    Bill Johnson – Bethel Church from Redding California. http://www.ibethel.org

    Thanks and Blessings in Jesus

    Al

  30. Great post, Big Mama. Thanks for sharing your life everyday, whether it be the funny or the serious (or both!) . Blessings (and grace:) to you today!

  31. I always try to “compare” God’s love with my love for my children. He is our heavenly father and it is a parental love. Unwavering and unconditional. Like we do for our children. And when my kids are upset because they have done something naughty they look up at me and say, “Do you still love me?” And I am shocked! “Yes! Of course I still love you! I will ALWAYS love you!” Same thing. Thank you for an inspirational post – your honesty is one of the things I “love” and admire about you!

  32. This was wonderful. I love the humor in your posts, and I loved the heart in this one. It was just what I needed to hear!

  35. Thank you! Oh how I needed to hear this! I struggle with grace too but you totally put it into perspective with your insight from the Beth Moore conference. THANK YOU!

  39. Thank you for this post!! I have been a fan of your blog and your writing for over a year and always look forward to hearing about the trials and tribulations of another mom. (My favorite ever was the post about the Mermaid Barbie glued to the top of the shoebox!!) Anyway, today you so eloquently expressed something that I have struggled with as well. I think a huge part of this discovery process for me was becoming a mother, and dealing with all of the mom-guilt that goes along with that. I got so used to pointing out my shortcomings and regrets that I figured that God must be doing the same thing, too!! What a gift to understand the He isn’t! Thank you for helping me to remember that today, and to keep my heart and mind open to see all of the ways He shows us His grace. 🙂

  40. Before I read your blog this morning, I had a brief prayer time once again confessing and seeking God’s grace. How is it, a Christ-follower since I was 8 (so 40 years ago) and I’m STILL confessing the same sins and hardly making progress in my journey?!?! I love my Lord so very much yet I still fail….and then His grace falls on me liike rain.

    God bless Sister. I shall be praying for you and all my other sisters as we desire to be more like Him.

  41. Grace — it’s a lot like airplanes, don’t know how it works, don’t know why it works, just know that it is. I don’t doubt that a plane will fly and I shouldn’t doubt that God grants me grace (but I do).

    It IS amazing. Great post.

  43. Thanks for letting me see a glimpse of the you who doesn’t seem like she has the perfect life.

    I’ve been struggling with a lot of stuff the past couple months and kind of feeling like so many other people are so much happier and contented than I. You know, whining and complaining in my spirit. It is nice to know that even “famous” people like you have a struggle now and then.

  44. Oh, wow. I struggle with grace as well….This was a great post. I love it when God leaves little signs like the truck as reminders. 🙂

    On a side note, Oh how I wish you could come and speak to my MOPS group. But I guess Virginia is a little bit longer drive…although it would offer more time for contemplation. 😉

    Thanks for the encouragement this morning. I have “So Long, Insecurity” in the growing stack of books I’ve been meaning to get to. I guess I need to get readin’!

  46. I will echo what Joyce said. We are God’s children. Just as when our own children fail and we could never stop loving them or give up on them, neither does He. It’s a simplistic way to look at it, but it helps me.

  47. Oh Melanie you got me! RIGHT WHERE I AM! What a beautiful post!

    I’ve thought a lot about these traps that the enemy sets up for us. How I KEEP falling for it. Over and over. And I’m sick of it. Even without the comparison game going on in our heads grace is so amazing that YES we often struggle with it.

    This has been such a season of questions for me. I’ve wondered where He really wants me. I’ve questioned every single thing I am currently doing and then I’ve felt guilty for asking. It seems for so long I’ve gotten silence. Still I know that this is a season and it will surely pass. And He is faithful. But during the silence what do I do? Compare. I’ve pushed my blog aside for the most part as I’ve struggled with whether or not He REALLY wants me to have it. And then I’ve pouted because I really want to blog. Come to think of it, I’m probably the equivalent of teaching and reprimanding my three-year-old. Sigh. I’ve enjoyed my time with my youngest and my new grandson and have been thankful for it. Then I’ve questioned if it’s “okay” to be here. Okay to enjoy. Ridiculous. Yet, I only want what HE wants for me. What HE has for me.

    I try to stop the awful comparison game by praying for the person I so foolishly tried to compare myself to. We ALL have troubles. We ALL have insecurities but the enemy would love to paint a picture of something we could never attain over and over again. The thing is–we cannot BE someone else! If we are called to be His hands yet try to be His feet we wind up making huge messes out of His Ministry and looking quite silly all the while. Imagine someone using their feet to help carry someone or feed them or even hug them. Silly illustration, I know.

    But that’s so often how I’ve ended up. Today, I’ll keep these words close to my heart. I’ll embrace His grace that I want the lost and weary to KNOW is there for them! And I’ll thank Him in every single circumstance. Well, I’ll certainly try! 😉

    Much love to you! Thank you so much for this post.
    Rena

  48. This sentence right here is exactly the way I feel: “I get caught up in the comparison game and feel like everyone is loving better, living more purposefully, doing more significant things and has a better heart than I do.”
    I’m a stay at home mom surrounded by working moms. I seriously do not have a friend who is also a stay at home mom. (I have lots of family who are, but none that live close by). I feel very much without a purpose sometimes not to mention the little comments made here and there by my working friends who always seem to think I have tons of time and I lounge around all day doing nothing. It’s hard to feel as if you have a purpose in a situation like that. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  49. Love this post and love you!

    And, P, it would be Mothers Opposed to Preschoolers. Mothers Against Preschoolers would be MAPS and that’s a whole other organization in itself. Humph.

  50. You’re post today speaks to me so deeply, and I thank you for that. I’ll probably read it a dozen more times throughout the day. I was just thinking of this very thing this morning. I don’t deserve God’s grace or His love. I’ve struggled with this for a while now. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being a good servant, for being a faithful messenger.

  51. I spend a huge amount of energy and time feeling less-than and left out… this post really spoke to me. Thank you so much for this message.

  52. A great post. It’s easy to forget that we are not alone and we are cared for unconditionally ALL THE TIME. Grace is amazing.

    Also, thank you for updating on the mouse. I was getting concerned. Hopefully it was a solo mouse.

  57. Awesome. Thank you for sharing cause I’m right there with ya. Isn’t it just absolutely amazing to think that the great big God of the universe LOVES little ol’ you that much?

  58. Aww, girl! Thanks so much for sharing this this morning. I really needed to hear that!

  60. I have been following your blog a while now (my niece recommended you to me). I am often touched by the humor you see in life, but this post especially spoke to me. God’s grace is all sufficient – that’s what He has promised us. Isn’t it ridiculous that it comes so naturally for us to forget that?

    The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. ~Deuteronomy 33:27

    Oh, and I am glad your little “friend” is no more. We live in the country, and often have visitors in the kitchen. It is NOT fun! 🙂

  62. i have been enjoying your blog for a long time, but have never commented before.

    thank you for your transparency in your struggle…i, too, have been overwhelmed in thinking about who i am and who God is…and His grace and love for me.
    and GIRL…i have been listening to ‘how He loves’ non-stop! powerful. every line. i especially love the one you mentioned.

    thanks for sharing your heart. you are a blessing to so many!

  63. Wow, I sit here with tears coming down my face because you wrote exactly what I have been feeling. The last few weeks I have been greatly disappointed in myself. Just internal conflicts and some things I have been doing that I can’t seem to overcome.
    I truly feel God speaking to me through you and other things I have received today.
    Thanks, Melanie I feel you are a great friend.

  64. That line from that most amazing song hits me fresh every time I hear it….cause it’s just so beautifully true!

    Wonderful, wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing!!

  66. Thanks for this today. I am reading this book right now and your words and this music touched my heart : )

  67. Melanie,
    Thanks for sharing. I often turn here for a little light hearted humor. I need some humor in my often so serious life. I appreciate you saying life is tough and sometimes we feel so undeserving of His all encompassing grace. As a mom of 3 teenage girls I’ve had some pretty self condemning moments lately as I deal with their weighty problems. But through it all I’ ve felt God’s sweet fragrance of love blowing around me…allowing me to give grace to my 3 sweeties.
    Thanks for just being real.
    Jen in PA

  69. Wow! Exactly what He’s been saying to me lately. Thanks for sharing your heart. 🙂

  70. Thank you for sharing your heart here.You have encouraged my heart greatly this morning.Love you friend.

  72. My husband and I have discussed moving back to where I grew up (I lived there until we were married: I was 26) and even though I consider it sometimes, I am at peace where God has placed me and I really believe he brought me out of that place for a reason. I have heard it said that the safest place in the world to be is in the center of God’s will. He is good. Always.

    I have been hearing so much about ‘So Long, Insecurity’. I have not read any of Beth Moore’s books, but perhaps it’s time to start!

  73. Amen, sister. Amen.

    I also attended the simulcast and it was a huge blessing. We’ve been from one significant issue to another over the past year and, honestly, my tank was DRY from taking care of everyone around me. Ironically I’ve had some of the same retrospective dealing with the Lord since as well. You just put my thoughts into words.

    Thank you. 🙂

  74. Thanks for your honesty and your willingness to share. I love your dry wit every day but this was especially nice. I’ve been wondering if “So Long Insecurity” was for me, and I see that I can really benefit from it. Blessings!

  76. I am crawling out of the woodwork to say thank you for this post. You have absolutely no idea how God has just spoken to me through you. I am at such a crossroad in my life right now and was just reminiscing about what my life used to be….God reminded me, “I have other plans for you.” And then I opened your post.

    Thank you for that.

  77. I totally know how you feel with the respect for yourself and others. I too have never thought I was good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, well I could babble on and on but you get the picture. I am not happy with some of the current things in my life and I have tried for a while to find another job but never get a call to even be considered. I dont know what is wrong with me… again, the self doubt. I try to keep telling myself that everything happens in HIS time not mine but wonder when that time will be. I wish I had the confidence and self worth other people seem to have but dont know where to get it!!

  79. Melanie, I read your blog daily and love hearing your life stories, but I’ve never commented before. I believe in the total soverignty of God and I know that you were promted to write this post for me. Reading this was like I was reading about my life the last few months. God is so good. Why does he love me? I have loved Jesus since I was 12, but have struggled with being good enough for him to love me in return. I struggle with Grace, and accepting it and feeling deserving of it…because well, I’m not….but Thank you Jesus for giving it anyway. Thank you Melanie for posting this. I’ll be praying for you as you come to mind, that Jesus would give you eyes to see yourself (and others) as he sees you.

  80. Great post! I love reading your funny posts, but your serious ones touch me every time. I guess it is just good writing =) Have a wonderful week!

  81. It’s funny how right after something hits home with us, we start to notice things that have always been there before, but we were too preoccupied to see. I hope that whatever has been getting you down can be fixed. I love your “regular” posts, but this was a nice change, and really eye-opening for us too. Glad you shared your epiphany.

  82. Dear Big Mama,
    Thank you for a wonderful post! I always enjoy your writing, but today you moved me to tears! (The good kind of tears…) Please know that you aren’t the only one who struggles with Grace. Thank you for sharing this personal struggle with us. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one…

  85. Melanie, I don’t come here as often as I used to. Your blog is a little too chipper for some of what I struggle with nowadays. (That’s not a criticism. Please don’t stop…this is all about the hole I’m in, not you.) But THIS post is probably one of the best posts you’ve had in a long, long while. I love it. Thank you.

  86. Thank you for this post. I have been reading for awhile but never commented. You are always so funny and today I thought I needed laughter…I am sitting at my desk (I teach) during my planning period and my state’s major yearly tests are tomorrow. I teach Math and I know without a doubt that my students will do their best tomorrow. But I have struggled the last two weeks with my own insecurity. Did I do enough? Could I have done more? What if… While this may seem inconsequential in lthe scheme of life, today it is a really big deal to me. I have tied my worth to my “scores”. I, too, attended a SLI simulcast and have been trying to remind myself this is not the sum of who I am. I thought I needed laughter, but instead I needed a word from our Lord. Thank you for beingHis vessel. You spoke directly to my situation. We do our best and still fail every day. His Grace is still there. And it’s always sufficient – in every circumstance. We just have to accept it.

  87. What a blessing it is to know that we are not alone in our struggles with grace. I did not fully comprehend grace until last year when my parents rescued us from the brink of bankruptcy because of a failing business. It took that act of grace from humans to help me see just a glimpse of what God’s love is for me and it has brought me to my knees over and over again since then.

    Thanks for posting your thoughts and struggles. While I thoroughly enjoy your humorous writing, I love to see a little deeper into your soul. It is beautiful.

  89. Thanks! My theme of living in this Middle Eastern country is “God is here, too.” I love the truck story. I get glimpses like that and just love it!

  90. Thank you so much for sharing this…I can relate in so many ways. I struggle daily with knowing God’s grace. I am finishing up So Long Insecurity, and wish I could have attended a simulcast…I hope that I can really apply Beth’s teaching to my daily life. Sounds like you are doing a great job at that!
    God Bless you Melanie!

  91. I HAD to comment on this post. I’ve been a big mama blog stalker for a while, but have never commented. I, too, struggle with the idea of grace. A song that always “gets me” is Chris Tomlin’s “Your grace is enough”. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  92. Melanie – I can relate to this post more than you can imagine. When I was much much younger, I did some things that I’ve had a very difficult time making peace with. I felt so much guilt and shame that I didn’t think I was worthy of God’s love and forgiveness or anyone’s for that matter. I turned away from God for more years than I care to admit. When I did go back to the church, I still felt like I was an outsider looking in. It took some time (and sometimes I think God truly has to hit me over the head to get a message across) but I did finally realize that I was forgiven. He had forgiven me long ago, I just hadn’t forgiven myself. Forgiving yourself is often the hardest part, but I am working on it. Whenever those old demons start creeping in and I begin to have doubts, I hear an almost audible, “Child be still…,” and I know that I need to calm myself and lay those doubts and insecurities in his hands.

    May the Peace of Christ be with you, Melanie.

  93. Such a beautiful post Melanie. Thank you for sharing your heart. That was exactly what spoke to me the most at the simulcast….living like the dearly loved child of God that I am. There is such freedom in that…I don’t know that I’m fully there but I’m working on it. So thankful for HIS love and grace…and I’m thankful for your words today…truly a blessing.

  94. You are so right. You said exactly what I have been feeling too. Thanks for sharing. I hope everything gets better.

  95. Thanks for keeping it real today. I needed confirmation that I’m not the only one that feels this way. I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.

  97. Love this post! 🙂 Thank you for sharing! (Among other things it helps those of us that might otherwise be tempted to put you up on a pedastel or something…not that I know anyone like that…ahem…) 🙂

    I read SLI and participated in Beth’s blog’s discussion group on it earlier this year–very powerful stuff. The Lord has taken me through my own version of “this is your life” recently and I too am amazed by His grace in my life. He is really an awesome God!

    May you continue to rest in His grace this day…and may the mouse most definitely have worked alone!!!! 🙂

  99. Thanks for being transparent. I can so relate. Loved it.

    Our pastor said recently that we’re all just a bunch of sinners, misfits, and losers basking in God’s scandalous grace. AMEN!!!

    *Standing “O” for the God of all grace!*

  100. Great post. Grace is often so much easier to bestow upon others than upon ourselves. I’m working through Beth’s “So Long” book now. Good stuff.

    Regarding your drive… you went right past me. Seriously! (I’m between Austin and G’town.) Let me know – I’d love to meet you for coffee if you come through again. You can email me for more specific info.

    Regarding the mouse? Good plan… they rarely live alone. Just sayin’.

    Be blessed!

  101. And interestingly enough, that song has been running around in my head, too, for several weeks. What a wonderful, encouraging post. Thank you.

  102. I am currently in the most difficult situation I have ever experienced. I am on my face at His feet. This post is such a blessing today.

  105. I don’t think I’ve ever commented before, but I’m a longtime reader. I am walking this same road and I’m reading a book called Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning that is totally transforming my view on grace. Totally worth the read. I am a fast reader, but this book is taking me weeks because I just read a bit before my quiet time since there is so much to absorb.

  106. I absolutely love your humor and I look forward to your blog. When I miss a while, I have to go back and read to catch up. Isn’t it so weird that what you have to say is important to so many people that follow your blog? All the more the Lord himself I’m sure hangs on your every word. It is so hard to comprehend God’s love for us. And my very favorite line is that same one, I just become undone…. bless you.

  107. I needed to hear that. It is exactly how I feel a lot of days. Thank you for sharing.

  108. Another thank you, thank you, thank you. Have you ever considered submitting yourself as a blog writer on Beliefnet? I’ve always thought your voice is so fresh and inspirational.

  109. Melanie,
    Your honesty will be a blessing to others. I started focusing on one particular scripture for 21 days after being hit with anxiety after my fourth child was born. After 21 days of focusing on the scripture – Matthew 22:37 (Love God and your neighbor), all anxiety was gone, and God literally touched me somehow through this scripture every day. I decided not to stop and keep living life through scripture and decided to share it on a blog. Your post today has been inspiring. I’m new to this blogging thing and glad to know there’s another Big Mama out there.

  110. I was praying this morning and I told the Lord that I just didn’t feel worthy to ask for anything for myself today ~ I had a stumble yesterday that I sincerely wish I had handled differently.
    But I recently heard Chip Ingram, I think, say that with one exception, when Jesus addresses the Father in the Bible he calls him “Abba, Father,” which refers to God’s nurturing characteristic, the way a parent is nurturing to a child. So I have been asking God to help me understand that, to see Him that way, to believe on that in my stubborn & wayward heart.
    Thanks for sharing ~

  111. After the day/week/month I have had this is what HE needed me to hear – thanks for being the messenger 🙂

  112. Awesome post!

    On that song – “How He Loves” – do me a favor. Go to thejohnmark.com and check him out…..he actually wrote the song. John Mark & his wife Sarah are awesome worship leaders!

  113. Thank you. Reading this was just as “on cue” for me as that truck you passed. I needed this. God is teaching me so much about his grace right now. He is so thoughtful…..

  114. Thanks for sharing this. My thoughts so often get the best of me negatively, and this week I definitely let them run amok! Thank you so much for putting it in perspective! I found your honesty in this post very uplifting! I also appreciate knowing that you work on not letting your thoughts get the best of you – so have to work on that for myself! I need to do the same!

  115. Big Mama, thank you for this wonderful insight into life! Who out here in “blog-land” doesn’t feel insecure about one thing or another? Well, I know I do. I am turning 50 years old in a few days…… could be going through some sort of crisis since the day after the big b-day my youngest child graduates from high school and the empty nest begins. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next week, but with grace I’ll trust that all things truly work for my good. I too love that song! Oh how He LOVES us!

  117. I live a few miles from Georgetown and was off yesterday. Wish I could have heard you speak! Beautiful post. Oh, how He loves us ALL.

  119. I have read your blog for forever, but rarely post, but I just had to after this.

    Thank you so much for that encouragement. I went to the same simulcast a few weeks ago, just two days after my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue. I have been so scared lately and unsure of where I’m headed or if I’m making the right decisions. I just accepted my first “real” job after getting my Master’s degree and I’m scared out of my mind about it. But reading your words on how God was faithful and how you didn’t know it then, but even in your heartache and the worst times, he was working together this beautiful life you have now—-it just really impacted me and gave me hope for what I can look forward to.

    I love coming here for the laughs and the funny stories about your sweet daughter and husband, but I really appreciate your sharing your heart as well. You never know how God is using you to impact someone like me. 🙂

  121. Do you know the Skit Guys? There’s a great line in one of their skits when the character is praying, “God, I’m sorry I let you down” and God says to him, “don’t say that…don’t ever say that…when did I need you to lift me up?” (man, I probably butchered that, but you get the idea.) That’s a line that has stuck with me. His grace and love are always given unconditionally.

  122. My husband once told me,”You turn the gospel into a law!” I have a hard time accepting grace, since…by definition, I don’t deserve it. What you wrote, I could have written (probably not as well, though 🙂 ). Good reminders, always. I need to hear the gospel at least once a day (minute?).

  124. You inspire me. Thanks for the open window into your life. Thanks for your transparency, thanks for the reminder. NONE of us deserve it, but THANK God He sees us in a different light.

  125. You’re right; grace is not fair. Thanking God for that today.
    Last weekend, I had the privilege of attending my son’s graduation from Bethel School of Ministry in CA. Something his pastor said has really stuck with me. It’s not like it’s new information or anything, but it’s aim was just right this time. God’s every thought toward me is good. There is not one time that He thinks of me that He doesn’t smile.
    SO not fair!

  126. So really how do I grasp it? I can tell you or anyone else that he forgives, he accepts, and he loves but I don’t get it. Over the last year I have gotten so far away, so lost I just want to get back but where do I start? I know that I have let my self get distracted and lost in my own problems and faults, but again how do I get back?

  128. I am visiting from Kelly’s Korner..
    You know how it always seems like God presents the perfect sermon on Sunday on the exact issue you are struggling with? Well this is what I have been dealing with the last 2 weeks and I really appreciate your post. I have never read your blog before, but today, when I probably needed it the most I found my way to this post. Thank you for the heartfelt post, and I may have to go out and pick up that Beth Moore book!

    Cortney @ runningcarlson.blogspot.com

  129. I love it when you write like this! I love your hysterical stories too, but these resonate with me so directly!

  131. Beautifully written and a powerful reminder of God’s grace freely given to me. Thank you! I occasionally will put David Crowder’s song, Oh how he loves me, on repeat. I love to listen to those words over and over again.. It drives my daughter crazy, but those words speak to me and remind me of his love.

  132. What a beautiful post! I read it yesterday on my phone and remembered to get back here on my computer today to leave a comment so I could say…

    Thank you.

    It’s so nice to be reminded that God does love us, and his grace is enough.

  133. this song has been ministering to me lately…except the part that is speaking to me is “all of the sudden, I am unaware of the afflictions eclipsed by glory”. I am facing a horrible situation and my only hope, ONLY hope, is that the afflictions be daily eclipsed by His glory.

    love that song. cause yeah, I need to sink in that grace and feel allllll that love. sigh. I’m glad I’m drawn to optimistic bloggers cause baby, I am not. I like to call it “being realistic” but who am I kidding, it’s pessimism.

    Thanks for this.

    melissa

  134. What a great post! I often forget how vast God’s grace is, myself. And I LOVE that David Crowder song. I heard it weeks before I had a preemie and it really helped me through 9 days of hospital bedrest and 18 days of nicu.

  135. Yes, beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing this. I struggle so much with grace as well. Such a timely reminder for me…

  136. Others have said it but it bears repeating….wow. Seriously it is like you read my mind. I love reading your blog and I crack up with every post you write. Like you I am an optimist and am usually happy, as you say, “in spite of myself” . This week though I have been down…a coworker even used your word “gloomy” to describe me today. Reading your post this evening has started to dig me back out of the gloom. And God, knowing that I haven’t been reading my Bible as I should lately but I read your posts, knew that for me to hear Him today it would have to come through you. Thank you. Tonight I will stop being so stubborn and have my quiet time with Him. I bet He has more things He’d like to tell me if I would just listen.
    I think I will go and listen to that song you mentioned too. I bet that will be a big help playing tomorrow while I work.