I feel like I need to warn you in advance that I have no idea where this post is going. Frankly, I’m not sure how that’s different from any other day, but I just wanted to let you know that the thoughts in my head? They are scattered.
A few of y’all have emailed to ask about the hurricane. All I know is that we were originally in something the local weathermen like to call the “cone of uncertainty”. This is apparently a term they learn in meteorology school that roughly translates to “heck if I know”. We waited for the rain all day long yesterday and it finally showed up in the form of about ten drops around 5:00 p.m. So the cone of my certainty believes we will get somewhere between zero and ten inches of rain at some point in the next forty-eight hours. Or maybe just some time before the end of 2010.
Yesterday morning I woke up with big plans and dreams of cleaning out Caroline’s closet. It’s something I’ve desperately needed to do for a while now, but every time I look in there I get completely overwhelmed because I see things looming from the top shelf like her pink boppy pillow and the johnny jump-up and I know that the process of cleaning all that stuff out will open some kind of emotional Pandora’s box that I won’t be able to close for the rest of the day. It will end with me holding a bunch of baby gowns clutched to my heart while I rock back and forth on the floor of the closet singing Sunrise, Sunset. In other words, it will be ugly.
However, I took one look in the closet and decided it could wait one more day. I am totally going to Scarlett O’Hara that bad boy and think about it tomorrow. Or the next day.
Later on we stopped by Gulley’s house to hang out for a little while. The kids decided they wanted to watch a movie and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that they still all pile into one chair.
On the way home, Caroline asked, “Mama, is Shelly dead?”
I turned down the radio, while racking my brain trying to figure out who the heck is Shelly, and bought myself some time by replying, “What?”
“Is Shelly dead? I haven’t seen her swimming around lately.”
Oh girl. Shelly has been dead since February.
Right after Christmas this year Caroline talked me into buying her a small aquarium and a pair of guppies to go in it. She named them Silver and Shelly and was super excited about them for about four minutes. Ever since then, they have essentially become my fish. Sure, they live in her room on top of my grandmother’s antique dresser but I’m the one who throws in the fish flakes that keep them alive. Or at least one of them alive.
I noticed Shelly had passed one morning back in February, but decided to save myself from the drama that would ensue if I told Caroline and decided to buy myself some time until she noticed for herself that she was down a fish. It was a decision that totally paid off because it took her FOUR MONTHS to realize Shelly might no longer be with us.
Anyway, I answered by questioning the last time she saw Shelly and she couldn’t remember. I’m pretty sure it’s because the last time was December 27th around 2:00 p.m. The best part is Caroline completely forgot about the entire conversation by the time we got home. At this rate we may not properly mourn Shelly until the one year anniversary of her death and hopefully Silver will join her in the sweet hereafter by then and I can officially ditch the aquarium I never wanted.
In other news that has nothing to do with fish mortality, I made pizza for dinner tonight. Actually I made two pizzas for dinner because LEFTOVERS. And as my oven heated up to 475 degrees, it began to smell like something was burning. Mainly because something was burning.
Specifically, it was various pieces of cheese and maybe a smidge of an overzealous blackberry cobbler that bubbled out its dish along with remnants of a pecan pie tragedy from Christmas of 2008. What I’m saying is I need to clean my ovens. They have the self-cleaning feature but I’m a little frightened by it because I’ve heard stories about the horrendous smell and the heat. I realize I could just read the directions that came with the ovens, but that would require me to find them at the bottom of some pile and it’s so much easier to ask you instead. What’s the best way to clean my oven? Should I buy some Easy-Off or does the self-cleaning thing really work? Do I need to leave the house to do it? Please don’t mock me. I genuinely have no idea what to do and am also in a very fragile state over Shelly’s death.