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Fashion expose part 4: Questions, we have questions

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Who knew fashion could be so mentally draining? Honestly, I have put more thought into this last week of Fashion posts than anything else in recent memory. Which isn’t actually saying that much.

I went shopping at TJ Maxx yesterday (purely in the name of research, I am working hard and unselfishly, for you, the reader) and my arms are sore today from the amount of clothing I toted around the store.

I finally reached the dressing room with my arms loaded down with designer jeans. Paige premiums, 7 for all Mankind, Rock and Republic…an abundance of denim riches. I also picked up several shirts and sweaters along the way, along with some activewear-type apparel.

Of course at TJ Maxx there is a limit to the amount of items they allow in the dressing room.

The little old lady guarding the dressing room, with the fervor of a pitbull on steroids, informed me I could only take in 8 of my 9 items. I counted out the 8 things I wanted to take in, handed her the 9th item, and said, “I’ll just take these things in and leave this out here.” She looked at the shirt I had just handed her and said, “Well, that’s probably for the best.”

I tell you this true story of being critiqued by the dressing room monitor at a discount store to let y’all know you need to take everything I say with a large grain of salt. Obviously, not everyone agrees with my taste.

Just ask the lady at TJ Maxx.

So, the past week has brought up some reader questions, which I will do my best to answer in a thoughtful, informative, well thought out way. Or you know, completely at random.

1. Candace from Mama Mia asks: Are the boots from Target you mentioned earlier in the week too dressy to wear with dark rinse jeans and a black t-shirt?

I certainly do not think they are too dressy. I feel a sign of a good boot is that it be versatile. I think there is no better way to dress up a cute pair of jeans and a t-shirt than with some good accessories, including, but not limited to, footwear.

2. Beth asks two different questions: What about jeans with no back pockets?

My gut instinct is to say stay away from jeans with no back pockets. My thought is that then you just have all rear end and nothing to kind of break it up, so to speak. I think pockets can create booty illusions that are crucial to looking attractive in a pair of jeans.

However, I do remember girls wearing Rocky Mountain jeans in college (remember, I went to Texas A&M) and they didn’t have back pockets. Of course, the girls wearing them were about a size zero and were in no need of creating any kind of booty illusions.

Second question: And what about wearing a jean jacket with a pair of jeans? Was that only for 1988?

Why, yes. Yes it was. And unless you’re planning on starring in a remake of Back to the Future, I suggest staying away from mixing your denims.

In all seriousness, I love a good jean jacket. Once the weather cools off, I will wear mine to the point that people will wonder if it’s some sort of uniform. I am not kidding.

However, I do not wear it with other denim items. Try a denim jacket with corduroy pants, skirts, black pants, walking shorts, gauchos, or over a cute, casual dress. Or, one of my favorite casual looks is to wear a t-shirt and a denim jacket with some velour yoga-type pants.

It’s the perfect casual outfit.

3. Zoom asks: All of the models in the pictures have a disjointed hip. Does that mean that we will have to stand one foot in front of the other, with one hip up in the air to receive maxium jean wearing pleasure???

Excellent question. I would say posture is a matter of personal taste. However, if you constantly stand on one foot with one hip up in the air, it won’t really matter what kind of jeans you have on. Everyone will be too distracted by your Karate Kid-like moves.

4. Alison from All My Sunbeams asks: i went and bought 3 pairs of natural fit jeans from Kohls last fall–they’re kind of boot-cut, and they sit just below the natural waist. They have some stretch to them and look great! The only problem i have is that they start to slide down, kind of like pantyhose will–so i’m pulling them back up constantly, and they’re not big on me–they fit the way they’re suppposed to. how do i fix this?

Well Alison, I’m not sure what to tell you. I don’t know what brand they are, but it could just be that the stretch has worn out over time.

When I bought my 7 jeans, the salesgirl advised me to buy them tighter than I usually buy jeans because they would give over time. I was extremely nervous about this because, honestly, I felt a little like a cheap tart in too tight jeans. But you know what? She was right. They have definitely stretched out quite a bit. So, next time you buy jeans with stretch, you may want to consider going a size smaller than usual.

The other thing to know about stretch jeans is that the heat from the dryer can cause the stretchiness to lose some stretch. So, you may want to hang them to dry.

Now, if they fit great but just slide down, I don’t know what to tell you.

Maybe suspenders?

Oh, I’m kidding. I’d never, ever advise anyone to wear suspenders.

Unless, of course, you’re playing the role of an alien from outer space on an early 80’s television show.

5. Judy from Hearts Look Upward asks: Will you come and go shopping with me please? I really hate it and it wrecks havoc when stuff needs to be replaced. About the jeans – do you tuck the shirt in? Or not? That’s the new 60,000 dollar question.

Yes, I will go shopping with you. In fact, I would love to take a little vacation, so if you’ll send me a plane ticket, we can hit the malls.

As for the shirt tucked in or out, it’s a matter of personal taste. I cannot stand having a shirt tucked in. I haven’t tucked in a shirt since about 1992 and I like it that way. The problem with tucked in shirts is that they require belts and then it just becomes a whole other issue.

But no one will fault you for tucking in a shirt and I’m sure your mama would be very proud.

I will take my $60,000 in cash or money order.

Alright, there are more questions but I’ll save those for tomorrow, or maybe the next day, or maybe next week. Seriously, my shoulder is killing me from carrying all those clothes around yesterday. I may need to file a workman’s comp claim.

I will leave y’all with this story.

Yesterday morning I got Caroline all dressed for school. She was wearing the hot pink outfit that she ate some of the bedazzles off of earlier last month. (By the way, eating your clothes is ALWAYS a fashion don’t) I told her I was going to fix her hair in a new style, and I put part of it up with a bow and left the rest down.

She ran into the bathroom to check out her new look. She examined herself from every angle in the mirror and finally said in a deep sigh, “Oh man, people are going to tell me ALL DAY LONG how beautiful I look.”

As if the very thought of all those compliments was just wearing her out.

And that’s what fashion week is really about. It doesn’t matter what you wear or if it’s the latest and greatest style. What I’d like for each one of us is to feel that self-confident when we walk out the door every day.

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  1. Can I just say that I totally appreciate your humor so much more now that I’ve heard your voice? we should all do podcasts. but that would be copying 🙂

  2. Too cute about Caroline’s comment.

    Um, I must make a confession. As I read this post, I’m sitting at work wearing denim jeans and a denim jacket. I know, I know, it’s so 80’s. But my denim jacket is my “wear in the fall when it gets a bit chilly outside but is still nice inside, take everywhere with me just-in-case” choice, and today it happens to be cooler at my desk than it is outside. It appears that I must go shopping immediately and come up with another option.

  3. Ok, I tried taking off the denim jacket for fashion’s sake, but it’s just too chilly in here today. Must keep committing fashion crime today.

  4. Love the story about the TJ Maxx lady. So, in retrospect, do you agree that leaving that particular shirt behind was a good idea?

    Poor beautiful Caroline. Whatever will she do with ALL those nice comments?

  5. So it’s the belt issue that keeps you from tucking in, huh? It’s a belly issue with me. That’s not really true, it’s more because my waist is a little too close to my arm pits, so leaving the shirt untucked, if it’s a good length, makes me look more balanced.

  7. Oh my, that sounds like something my 4 year old would say.

    I actually have a friend who goes shopping with people for a business and helps them find things that are flattering on them. She also does closet assessments. Kind of like a personal “What Not To Wear” consultant.

    She has ended up catering to mostly SAHMs and is slammed with business. You should think about it. As Oprah always says- Turn your passion into something that makes money.

    I wonder if someone would pay me to read US Weekly and People and keep them informed on the latest Britney escapades?

  8. Hmm…so all we have to do is send you a plane ticket and you’ll go shopping with us???

    Let’s see I have 6 friends who read you blog, if we split the ticket we could get you up here for about $25 a person.

    Definitely explainable to our husbands.

    A shopping day with Big Mama…you may have just figured out how to see the world without spending a dime!

    Smart. Smart lady. Smart FASHIONABLE lady.

  10. I’m with you on the tucking-in issue. I can’t remember when I did it last!

    Oooooh! And the velour pants with t-shirt and jean jakcet ensemble…I think I may have to make that my “going-home-from-the-hospital” look when our second daughter is born in Nov.! Because, yes, I’m already planning these things. (Since it’s North Texas, I won’t be needing a coat, mind you…though the Anthropologie sweater jacket that we love may work, too!)

  11. Oh I love, love, love the Caroline story.

    Here are a few questions. First, I totally agree about mixing denims (or NOT mixing them, rather).

    I know the dark wash jean is the most modern look and probably the most flattering on most people. But here’s my issue with the dark jean. I like dark shirts. I’m a brunette, and I wear a lot of black, chocolate brown, plum, etc. But I feel like those colors against a dark denim are too dark, too boring, and generally not attractive. I realize denim is a “neutral” per Clinton and Stacy, but I just can’t subscribe to the theory that neutrals go with every color.

    So what is your opinion about wearing dark tops with dark denim? Do I need to invest in some khakis and cords? Is lighter denim too dated? I’d love to hear what others think too.

  12. For Kate (and anyone else who cares) there are really cute, colorful belts around these days that add a splash of color to an outfit if you are a tucker-inner (or even if you’re not, they are still visible when you move around). But please, Pleeeeease wear a belt in your jeans when you tuck. 😉

    Oh, and for Merry, try a white denim jacket. Or a tan cord jacket, if it’s cool enough where you are. Or a khaki twill jacket! 🙂 I like jackets, can you tell???

  13. You are such a talented and funny writer! I just recently discovered Ann Taylor Loft thanks to you, but I have to go to SA since we don’t have one (yet) in Austin. I am planning a trip back down to go there in a few weeks. Do you have any favorites there that I should look for?
    Thanks for the laughs this morning!
    Amy ( I am the one who e-mailed you re: the Blanco Lavender Festival a few months ago)

  14. You HAVE to wear a belt if you tuck shirts in?? Is that true??? I hate belts!! Just another fashion mine field to navigate!! Does this rule apply to jeans?? All jeans have belt loops, but goodness, do people WEAR belts with jeans??? If so, why??? I truly thought we could ignore the belt loops on pants and go about our days tucked in and beltless. After all, we don’t USE the pockets on pants….and those metal rivets on pockets serve NO purpose…so aren’t the belt loops the same thing?? Just an added extra on the pant, but for decoration only?? Fashion week is grueling!!

  15. Can I get one more question in here? What about the jumper? I saw some very cute jumpers at Target, particularly a black and white plaid one that would look great with a black turtleneck and some boots. But InStyle just said that jumpers are sooo last fall and to ditch them. Then again, they were the ones who told us to wear plaid on plaid. Help!

  16. You HAVE to wear a belt if you tuck shirts in?? Is that true??? I hate belts!! Just another fashion mine field to navigate!! Does this rule apply to jeans?? All jeans have belt loops, but goodness, do people WEAR belts with jeans??? If so, why??? I truly thought we could ignore the belt loops on pants and go about our days tucked in and beltless. After all, we don’t USE the pockets on pants….and those metal rivets on pockets serve NO purpose…so aren’t the belt loops the same thing?? Just an added extra on the pant, but for decoration only?? Fashion week is grueling!! But don’t stop…I’m still enjoying it! At least this way I can go about my days looking all wrong but KNOWING it and ANNOUNCING it….’I know I should have a belt on and be wearing heeled boots with these jeans, but…’ Perhaps people will be fooled and think I am fashionable at heart, but too busy/confident/rebellious to take the extra time to dress right. Perhaps not…

  17. Hmmm….thought I caught that post before it actually posted. I wanted to add on that last bit lest you take offense to my opinion of fashion week and ban me. Although, I think you are too dedicated to ban someone who is obviously so in need of your help. Bless you!!

  18. Excellent advice. Fashion Week must be extended…you are making the world a more beautiful place. Like I’ve said before, it’s a public service. As for TJ Maxx dressing room monitors,…bless their hearts. Sounds like they are all the same, no matter where you live.

  19. Excellent advice. Fashion Week must be extended…you are making the world a more beautiful place. Like I’ve said before, it’s a public service. As for TJ Maxx dressing room monitors,…bless their hearts. Sounds like they are all the same, no matter where you live.

    Sarah, TN

  20. dcrmom – I’ve been eyeing a khaki twill jacket. Must show hubby your comment so I can convince him that I NEED it!

  21. Yes ma’am fashion is indeed exhausting. We, your readers, are forever in your debt for your research.

    In the words of Dolly Parton, ” It takes a lot of money to look this cheap”

  22. I want to feel that confident!!!…BUT, I am instantly reminded of Antique Mommy’s “Ode to Mary Tyler Moore” post. And I am wary…

  23. so… did you buy the 9th item of clothing???

    that Dolly Parton quote from Zoom is hilarious!

    All this fashion talk makes me wanna go shopping!! Look out Target and TJMaxx!

  24. Being almost six months pregnant, I haven’t chimed in much this week. Because really, my options are limited right now.

    But I have to say I saw a lot of denim jackets with denim jeans last fall at Old Navy. They made sure to wear the shirt/sweater underneath the jacket long enough so as to break up the visual of Deep Dark Denim. But it was really pretty cute.

    Of course, that’s probably so 2006 right now.

    Oh, and if you’re still accepting questions, I’d love to see you address maternity clothes. Even in the four years since I was last pregnant, there are so many more cute options. Whadda say?

  25. I have to chime in on the Caroline comment: I too have a diva, she’ll be 6 next week…where did the time go….but I digress. When she was 2 we lived in Phoenix and I had way more disposable (Starbucks) income than I do now…so we were in the drive thru one morning, and the drive thru girl says while taking my hard earned income “Gosh how cute is your little girl!!!” I say, Why thank you, I think so too! And my diva daughter is beaming in the back. So a couple of days later we go back to the same drive thru and a different girl helps us. She’s obviously not as enamored by cute kids, and she says nothing but here’s your coffee, have a nice day. As we pull out, we are barely past the window when daughter says, “MOM!! SHE DIDN’T SAY I WAS CUTE!!!” (NO emphasis added). Gosh, I knew then I had created a monster. A very cute one, but one indeed. :>)

    Thank you for your fashion advice. I actually have learned a lot this week…have always struggled with finding the right pair of jeans. Just bought a pair from Target, and although I wouldn’t classify them as my fav – they are cute and fit nice. I think they are just Mossimo….

    Anyway, thanks for all you do for us girls. Look forward to hearing more. …..have a great day!

  26. Caroline and my Anna Grace would be great friends if they ever stopped looking at their own reflections long enough. When I was shopping for school clothes with Anna Grace, after EVERY outfit she tried on, she gasped, “OH MOMMY! I am so cute in this! We HAVE to buy this because I am JUST SO CUTE!” And then I saw, as I was hanging up another outfit, that she was actually kissing her reflection in the three-way mirror.

    And I would be upset, except that with 2 older brothers she has fought being girly for SO LONG, that this behavior actually made me a little happy. We were bonding over shopping–a dream I’ve had ever since becoming a mom.

    After she got her back to school haircut, we went to a party and the host (a man) said to her, “Why, Anna Grace, you look beautiful! I just love your hair!” Anna Grace scrunched up her face, wrinkling her little freckled nose, and growled at him.

    Obviously she’s a work in progress.

  27. I think we need a picture of that beautiful girl!!

    Thanks for all of the fashion sense…have a blessed day!

  28. You are so funny. And I’m glad you nixed the idea of mixing denims… that really bothers me when people do that.

    Sometimes when discussing fashion, I wonder if the obvious needs to be stated. You know, like Acid washed jeans will always be a fashion DON’T!

    I went to Kohl’s last night to specifically check out SimplyVera (Vera Wang’s new line of clothing, purses, shoes). Mixed reviews here. I like the shirred jackets and the colors (blacks, grays, purples). I mean, the stuff looked fashionable but that’s the problem. I DON’T DO EMPIRE WAIST. (and you can call it em-pire or ahm-peer, I really don’t care).

    If I was 14 then maybe. But seriously, anyone with any type of bust would have a hard time carrying it off. And anyone of the mommy stage would JUST LOOK PREGNANT. I don’t know about you, but it’s not the look I’m going for here.

    Which brings me to the realization that fashion per se is women looking good for other women. Most guys would venture to tell you that those babydoll or tent dresses just make you look fat and pregnant. Talk about a double whammy.

    Ok, done with fashion rant. For now…

  29. I have a bit of fashion advice. QUIT LAUGHING!! I do occasionally come up with some truths.

    If you’re wearing a shirt that is tight enough to show your rolls, for the love of all that is easy for everyone else’s eyes, take it off! (No, not in public. Replace it with a looser shirt before you leave the house.)

    I now have 3 beloved shirts laying in the corner where they were threw in disgust after realizing that they did nothing to hide my decrease in exercise and my increase of cookie dough.

    That being said, come and do my hair so that I can have some compliments like Caroline. I would love to have the others tell me that I’m beautiful ALL DAY LONG! Sigh. It would be wonderful to be that exhausted at the end of the day.

  30. Oh, the poor, poor dear. It must be such a hard life being told you’re beautiful ALL DAY LONG! How ever does she survive it?

  33. I love the story about the TJ Maxx lady. We’ve all been there. Such harsh fashionistas at the Maxx.

    How sweet of Caroline to get so excited about her new hair style. I remember in high school one of my friends had the quote, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile”. I think you sent Caroline out the door full dressed with her biggest smile.

  34. oh. my. god.
    ‘well, that’s probably for the best’ deserves a spew alert. thank god i was wearing my fantastic white wrap shirt with the large knot on the side….those tails were perfect for wiping the coffee from my screen.

  35. I just love your daughter’s confidence!
    I just spent a hour or so at Cato, because that is the ONLY store in our town that has any cute clothes. I’m tellin’ ya right now, those ladies are going to be busy this afternoon because I seriously tried on every single syle of jeans that they offered and came up with nothin’! Here’s the problem, I’m 5’3″. everything is too darn long on me. I will not give up though, next week I’m driving to the good mall… an hour away from here, but it’s worth it to have a great pair of jeans!

  36. Shopping IS exhausting. I don’t know why I delude myself into thinking it’s fun. I suppose if you like hunting or being a stealth FBI agent, doing something all day with the possibility of getting NOTHING for your trouble is attractive. I, for one, love that you are taking the legwork and guesswork out of it for me. But…dangitall that I still will have to try things on (in front of a bull dog dressing room attendant, to boot.).

    And, good for Caroline. It’s been years since I was worn out with people telling me how gorgeous I was. Maybe it’s my hair. I should try her style.

  38. I love fashion week. I agree, you have found your passion.
    Caroline’s story makes me laugh. We also have a beautiful daughter that has been told so a few too many times. Her dad now adds “And smart!!!” any time someone tells her she’s pretty. He doesn’t want her to be too focused on her looks. Although, we could just be making our monster bigger 🙂

  39. Thanks for the help – oh I need it. After each of my 3 babies I held on to some weight. I keep waiting to loose 15-20 lbs before I go shopping. Therefore, my fashion question is this…Should a “fatty Patty” continue to put fashion on-hold or go for it even if the current syles are not that flattering on her?

    Thanks Big Mama for the help!

  40. I don’t tuck in because I have a badonka-donk belly left over from having twins. For those of you that lost your baby weight bless your heart (muttering).

    I think little Miss C is chick jr. 🙂 Oooh, I bet you could get her all keyed up on giving the bloggers jr fashion advice.

  43. You are a wealth of information, I cannot thank you enough for your fashion know-how. I am mom to 2 boys so I need all the help I can get!
    Work it Caroline, work it 😉

  45. Thank goodness I got the laptop= I would have missed this. Now to my earlier request- can you add a hospital gown to that mix and get back to me?

  46. So many remarks to add…1)My TJ Maxx lady talked me into a 6; I just love her! I’ll see if she can be transfered to TX for you. 2) I saw a Mom tonight mixing her denims, and it looked cute on HER (I’D look silly), but she wore a long, multicolored shirt underneath. What do you think? 3) My daughter says the same things about being sooo cute. She actually used the word “sassy” to describe herself in her jeans today. 4) What are your thoughts about flats? I tried to e-mail this question to you earlier today, but quickly abandoned my attempt because of a TORNADO (or so I thought!) Clearly you can see how important it is to me!

  47. I keep telling Sarah up here in the East women just tuck in their shirts. I swear many of them do, so I actually look sloppy much of the time for having mine out. Still, after three kids, I dont understand why anyone would voluntarily tuck in a blessed thing.

  49. This one did it. I’m now officially a BigMama fan and you are hereby added to my bloglines. I do believe I’m one of the last people on earth to do so, but I’ve never been at the front end of trends. Forgive me for my belated adoration.

  50. ok so all it takes is a plane ticket….ive got tons of miles. but i want to wait till next spring. ive been loosing a little weight but am working out 4 days a week now and starting to see minor results. so I want to wait till theres even more need for new wardrobe…LOL
    and you would have to bring caroline as well. my youngest would love to spend all day telling her how cute she is….he is all about beautiful girls(only 3 and already i am losing him to the long haired beauties in pre k)
    Steff

  51. What kind of TJMaxx has designer jeans? I live in a smallerish town and I am pretty sure that I have NEVER seen a pair of 7s!! I want a TJ’s like that. Since we are on fashion (loving your fash week). What are your thoughts on scarfs, pashminas, and wraps? Especially in the south.

  52. I find that to tuck your shirt in, you need to be a size 1 with an inverted stomach. Unfortunately, I must wear my shirts outside. Plus I can never get the belt through all the beltloops!