Author: Big Mama

First of all, the comments on yesterday’s post are a treasure. If you didn’t see them then I highly suggest you go over there and add a couple of sayings to your best friend repertoire. Personally, I’m immediately adopting “Bust and Grab” which is what you call it when everyone is on their own for dinner at your house. This term will help me get through the summer. Guess what’s for dinner? BUST AND GRAB.

Secondly, if you’re a Mad Men fan, do you think I somehow channeled Don Draper and predicted part of the ending in a post last week? That’s all I’m saying because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

And finally, on a housekeeping note, I’ve heard from several people who said they submitted speaking requests through my Event page and haven’t received a response. Apparently this is because there’s been a glitch in the system. So if you have put in a request and haven’t heard back, will you please check out that page and send a new email? I hate to think anyone believes I’ve been ignoring them.

Okay, so I thought today I’d share some of my summer essentials. I realize it isn’t summer yet. Mainly because Caroline came home yesterday with yet another science project assignment. I’ve lost track of how many science projects we’ve had this year that require creativity, but it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 5326. This time she has to design a space suit that meets various NASA specifications. And it’s the END OF MAY which means I just want to send Caroline in with a bathing suit glued to some poster board labeled “THIS IS THE ONLY SUIT THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW”. Maybe decorated with some palm trees and a recipe for a great margarita?

That’s probably inappropriate.

Anyway, here’s my list of favorites for summer.

1. skinceuticals physical fusion spf 50 sunscreen

This is the best sunscreen ever. It lasts all day and has a tint to it that keeps it from looking chalky on your face. And a little goes a long way.

2. toni & guy sea salt spray

Last summer I was on the quest for a great sea salt spray and I believe this is the winner. I never blow dry my hair in the summer and a little of this gives some great body and waves. Plus it’s not as heavy as some so it should work well no matter your hair texture.

3. copper tone sensitive skin lotion spf 50 with zinc oxide

P is a sunscreen expert because he’s out in it all the time. And we’ve determined this is the best. The key is the zinc. It’s a great heavy duty sunscreen that doesn’t wear off and is good even for the most sensitive skin.

4. zalan colored zinc sticks

Speaking of zinc, I love these colored zinc sticks because Caroline never minds painting her face with them. Much more fun than just regular old sunscreen and you can totally use the red like lipstick if you’re not into a subtle look.

5. essie angel food polish

I have searched high and low for the perfect pale pink polish and I’ve decided this is the one. It’s not too pink but not too white.

6. dr. gross glow pads for face

I discovered these last summer and am such a fan. They give the perfect amount of color that lasts for several days and are pretty much foolproof.

7. jargons natural glow firming moisturizer

This is a must have if you want subtle color but don’t want to mess with self-tanner. It provides gradual color and doesn’t ever look streaky. Plus it’s pretty inexpensive.

8. straw tote bag

This tote is at Target and I almost bought it today. Then I remembered I already have a straw tote so I made myself put it back. But look at that tassel!

9. macadamia professional cleansing conditioner

I received a sample of this and decided to give it a whirl and now I’m in love. It makes your hair so silky soft and is the best two in one product I’ve ever used. This is going to be great all summer long after chlorine and salt water have been in my hair.

10. vera bradley beach towel

Honey bought Gulley and I each one of these towels for Mother’s Day and it is my new favorite. It is so soft that you won’t even believe it and how gorgeous are the colors?

That’s it for now, but I’ll let you know if anything new pops up. After all, it’s not even Memorial Day yet. Lots of good summer times to be had.

Just as soon as I help Caroline design a space suit.

Gulley and I got home from College Station at about 7:00 p.m. on Friday night and I have spent most of the time since then doing shockingly little. The original plan was that Caroline would be playing in a soccer tournament all weekend long, but the tournament got cancelled due to rain which meant that we had exactly zero plans for the weekend.

So we watched Guardians of the Galaxy on Friday night and then slept in on Saturday morning. Eventually I got out to run a few errands because P needed another pair of jeans and we’d decided to cook out on Saturday night which meant I had to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things. And here’s where I need to express my sadness over this whole Blue Bell ice cream situation. I spend a lot of time these days in the ice cream section trying to figure out what ice cream to buy since Blue Bell is temporarily unavailable and all others are inferior.

Now I’m just waiting to watch the series finale of Mad Men (Fare thee well, Don Draper. I hope you make better choices in the finale than you’ve made throughout the entirety of the show.) and I was just looking around on Pinterest and saw this.

I thought it read, “Simple Homemade Chicken Fried” and was about to click on it to check out the recipe for a simple Chicken Fried Steak when I realized what it says is, “Simple Chicken Feed”. And, clearly, I am dead inside because the picture of a baby chicken didn’t cause me not to think about frying it up in a pan. With cream gravy on the side.

But none of that is really the point of this post. Not that this post has a point per se because I believe points are sometimes overrated. Much like baby chickens.

So after I spoke at Texas A&M on Friday, someone gave me one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given afterwards. One of the things Gulley and I say to each other when one of us doesn’t seem very excited about something is “GET EXCITED, COACH FRAN!”. This is a callback to the days when Coach Fran was the Aggie football coach and never displayed an ounce of emotion no matter what was going on during the game. It drove us crazy. So you can imagine my delight when I pulled this treasure out of a gift bag.

It’s a mini-football helmet signed by Coach Fran. I will treasure it always.

On a similar note, a couple of days ago someone left me a message on my Facebook page and included this picture of a list she’d added in the back of her copy of Nobody’s Cuter Than You.

If you haven’t read the book yet, there’s an appendix at the end that includes various things like “How to Take a Road Trip”, “Ten Characteristics of a Best Friend” and “The World According to Mel & Gulley”, which is what this reader’s list was patterned after.

I loved reading it so much that I wondered if any of you had a similar list or at least one or two sayings that you and your best friends say to each other. And how fun would it be to add your own list like this in the back of the book and give it to a friend?

But, first, I would adore it if you’d share a saying or expression you use in the comments. There are no prizes or anything, just my love of being in other people’s minds.

And in case you still need a copy of the book, you can find it here on Amazon and here at Barnes & Noble. Or, as always, in your local Walmart or neighborhood book store.

Thanks so much for all the sweet comments and emails after yesterday’s post. We appreciate all the support and prayers.

Gulley and I left San Antonio on Thursday afternoon and headed to College Station because I’m speaking today at an event for the Texas A&M Foundation. Thursday evening, Honey took Gulley, Tiff and me out to dinner at Christopher’s World Grille, which is just about the most amazing food you will ever eat. They have a crawfish fondue that will make you cry tears of happiness. We all had the best time together and now we’re sitting here in our pajamas so I’m going to make this short.

Here are some cute things I’ve found this week:

1. topshop angel lace caftan

I think this is so pretty as a swimsuit coverup, but it could also be a great tunic with a tank under it.

2. split neck romper

I’m not generally a fan of rompers, but this one is really cute. I happen to like it best in black but it also comes in a couple of patterns if that’s more you’re thing. I can totally see this with gold sandals and jewelry.

3. zest case scenario dress

This has a lot going on but I really like the style of it and I think it’d be fun for vacation or a summer party with sandals.

4. distant travels tunic dress

I like this as a tunic, not a dress. But love the embroidery and it would be perfect with white jeans.

5. gap leather flip flops

These flip flops have been one of my summer standards for the last three summers. They’re inexpensive, come in a ton of colors and add a great pop of color to any outfit.

6. j.crew perforated slip on sneakers

I think these are really cute. Great with cuffed boyfriend jeans and a tee. Or shorts and a tee. Or basically anything.

7. slouchy faux leather tote

I love a good white bag for summer and this one has a great slouchy style and looks much more expensive than it actually is.

**Edited to add that I fixed the link and it’s correct now! Only $56.00!**

8. sole society retro alexia sunglasses

I’ve been on a hunt for some great sunglasses and I love the retro look of these.

9. free people santa rosa tote

How cool is this bag? It’s Free People and on sale for $69.95. Such a great bag to use as a tote on vacation or by the pool or just to carry around.

10. navy & teal embroidered shift dress

I actually have this dress in coral and blue, but I love it in this navy. If you click the link above it will take you to Ikat Elephant’s Facebook page and you’ll just need to scroll down the page until you find it.

It’s only $35 and it’s a little short, but has enough material in the hem that you can easily add an extra 2-3 inches to the length depending on your leg needs.

And that’s it for today.

Have a good Friday.

I was going to begin this whole thing with “A little over a month ago some things began to come together…” but then I sat here and thought about it and that’s not accurate. And so, GOOD NEWS, you’re about to get a long story.

P and I have attended the same church since Caroline was less than a year old. And it was a church we’d had ties to long before that. It was a great place for us for all those years. We were involved with different ministry groups, learned so much from our pastor’s teaching, made new friends, and there was a time when I couldn’t imagine we’d ever leave to go anywhere else.

But then early last summer something began to shift. At first I thought it was just me until P and I talked about it one night and realized we were both feeling the same things. I can’t even tell you what the exact feeling was other than just a little bit of restlessness regarding church that we hadn’t experienced in a long time. So we began to pray about it and just agreed to see what happened next. And what happened was Caroline moved up to the Junior High Youth Group and began to enjoy church more than she ever had during the days of elementary Sunday School. We agreed that was the most important thing and decided it meant we should stay put.

Then about two weeks after that, the youth director sent out an email informing parents that the Youth Group would no longer meet on Sunday mornings and instead would just meet on Wednesday nights. And here’s the thing, that schedule just wasn’t going to work for us since the church is about a thirty minute drive from our house on a Sunday morning and takes even longer when you factor in weekday traffic. Plus, Caroline admitted she never really got to know the other kids because none of them are from our neighborhood or attend her school and what she really wanted was to go to church closer to home.

I remember one time I heard Priscilla Shirer tell how a mother eagle begins to shake her nest when it’s time for her babies to start flying and that’s what all of this was as I look back on it. Our familiar little nest was being shaken because God was calling us out of our comfort zone.

As we talked as a family one night over dinner early last fall, what became clear was that we all had a heart to attend church in our neighborhood, with the people we go to school with and grocery shop with and see every day. Even though we live in San Antonio, our little area feels much more like a small town and we had no doubt God was calling us to be a part of something right here and not thirty minutes away, especially as we have watched so many of the kids that used to be in our Campus Life group move back to our neighborhood to raise their families. Our hearts were increasingly drawn close to home. The problem was we weren’t sure there was a church that would be the right fit for us. Then one night that I’ll never forget, Caroline declared, “Maybe we should start a church!”

I did the mom equivalent of patting her on the head and saying, “Aw what a sweet kid!” while everything inside me was thinking, “PLEASE GOD DON’T MAKE US START A CHURCH! I DON’T WANT TO START A CHURCH!” And I knew P was thinking the exact same thing by the way he looked at me across the table.

But it was one of those things – you know those things – that just burned a hole in my heart and I knew – I KNEW – even though I ignored it, that there was something to it. Out of the mouths of babes and all that.

So instead we spent about six months visiting different churches in our neighborhood and I want you to know this – there are good churches here but none of them seemed right for us. The majority of them are very traditional and we just aren’t traditional church people. And here’s what I know for sure, church preference is such a personal decision. I mean, Gulley and I have never gone to the same church…that’s how personal and unique it is to each person. I don’t see the fact that we didn’t find the right church to be a reflection at all on any of the churches in this neighborhood as much as believing that God wanted to create a new, different space.

Which leads me to the last month.

Right after Easter (if you’re paying attention this was the exact same time I was releasing Nobody’s Cuter Than You which is proof God has a sense of humor because I have been on an adrenaline high for a month now due to all these converging things) P and I began to watch all these pieces fall into place. Pieces that we’d always sited as the reason we would never start a church because where would we find a good worship leader? Where would we meet? What about the fact that neither of us want ministry to be our full-time job? Would anyone even want to come to a new church? All those things just seemed insurmountable.

And I realize now that sounds ridiculous because, well, GOD. It turns out that when he says in Ephesians 3:20 that He will do more than you could ask or imagine, He means it. That’s why it’s more than you can imagine.

Because you can’t imagine it.

Our friends August and John Joffe were feeling called to something new and are going to lead worship for us. A church right down the street from our house and smack dab in the heart of our neighborhood has graciously offered us some unused space to meet at 9:30 on Sunday mornings. P was in full time ministry during the first years of our marriage and is a great teacher. I also happen to be able to teach a Bible lesson from time to time, along with a couple of other people who want to be a part of this and we’ve already heard from several others who are excited about what we are doing and want to be a part.

And so what are we doing?

Well, the good news is God heard my prayers and we are not starting a church. We are starting a Community Worship Service. None of the people involved in its creation are looking at this as a vocation, but rather an organic gathering of people who want to come together for worship and teaching with their families each Sunday morning right in our neighborhood. Kind of like the first churches in Acts, we want it to be about the people and not the place.

I’ve felt so strongly over the last year God saying to me that the way to change your world is to start in your own community, invest in the lives of the people around you.

And so beginning Sunday, May 31st we are starting a Community Worship Service from 9:30-10:30 a.m. in the Fellowship Hall at Alamo Heights Baptist Church. It’s going to be a family service and everyone is welcome.

We would love your prayers as we begin this new chapter and, if you’re in the area and want to come join us, we would love to have you.

Well, Sophie and I finally got around to recording a new podcast yesterday. And we discussed things like dinner planning, how squeezing a little lime makes everything better, wedding and engagement photos, and my new love of frankincense.

But before you listen, a couple of quick housekeeping notes:

1. If you click on through, you’ll notice that I have a new layout on the blog. And you can also find a very fancy main page at melanieshankle.com.

2. Yesterday I sent out my third email newsletter. If you’re interested in receiving it, you can subscribe using the link in my sidebar. It’s super easy and I promise all you’ll get is my newsletter and no one informing you that you might inherit $530,000 euro from someone in Nigeria.

To listen to the podcast, you can click here to listen. Or here. You can even listen right here on the blog.

Or, as always, you can subscribe on iTunes.

I’m sitting here just a little bit teary as I think back over this past weekend. Which is pretty remarkable when you consider that P is currently watching some show about people being stranded at sea for five days debating drinking their own urine while sharks circle below their raft. But my heart is full because I had the best weekend with friends and then came home to flowers waiting for me and a great Mother’s Day spent hanging out with my people.

There have been so many great memories that have come over the last month since Nobody’s Cuter Than You released out into the world that my heart has just been on overload. It’s like the internal version of my whole being right now is like the old Coca-Cola commercial and I want to teach the world to sing.

I think it was right after Spring Break when Gulley and I were texting with Jen one day and she said she would love to go to an Aggie baseball game before the season was over. And that started a whole lot of figuring out schedules, looking for tickets, making plans and general excitement as we marked the weekend of May 8th on our respective calendars to meet in College Station to watch the Aggies play their last regular season home series against South Carolina.

Honey and Big secured tickets for us because they were hard to come by once the Aggies became the #2 team in the nation and then I decided to add a book signing into the mix. Then our friends Jamie and Trevor decided to come too and bring their boys, plus Tiff already lives in College Station and a party was born.

Of course the problem with making plans for the month of May is that they never go quite as smoothly as you think because May is an INSANE MONTH THAT IS TRYING TO MAKE US ALL CRAZY with all its events and occasions and sporting events. So Gulley and her family ended up needing to wait until Saturday morning to leave due to the boys have Friday night baseball games. Meanwhile, I’d planned to pick Caroline up right after school on Friday and hit the road, but that was the day of a field trip and she didn’t get home until almost 5:30. Then by the time she showered and we got packed it was close to 7:00 p.m. We stopped for a quick Icee and a photo op along the way. I love this picture because it pretty much sums us up in that we had two different ideas about the kind of picture this was going to be.

Anyway, we eventually made our way to Honey and Big’s house and Jen met us there after she’d gone to dinner with Jamie, Trevor and some other friends. We all caught up for a few minutes but headed to bed pretty quickly since we were all exhausted.

But Saturday morning Jen’s little boy, Lincoln, woke us up all bright and early. He was immediately initiated into Honey’s brownies for breakfast program and then spent a lot of time lining up his trucks just right and fell in love with Honey’s beta fish who happens to be named “Kevin Sumlin” although Linc kept calling him “Heaven”. I also had the opportunity to wipe his behind after he pooped which was a real treat because it’s been many years since someone yelled at me to come “WIPE ME!”

Gulley got into town and then we all headed to LifeWay in College Station for the book signing. Tiff and Jamie met us there and the kids all ran up and down the sidewalk and, honestly, I don’t know what else because I was too busy meeting so many nice people and signing books. I do know that Caroline found several things she wanted to purchase because she kept stacking them by my feet as I signed books.

I just need you to know I may write an annual book on friendship from here on out just so I have a reason to keep getting together with all my girls over and over again. It’s so weird because I thought I knew what they meant to me when I was writing it, but I think seeing how they have shown up and cheered me on and just how much we all love being together has made me cherish each of these girls all the more. They are such a part of my heart.

And just when you thought I wasn’t going to get any sappier, there’s this.

If you’ve read the book, you may remember that I mention Nena’s best friends, Jo and Dorothy Kay, in the last chapter. They showed up at LifeWay to get their books signed which was enough to do me in but, not only that, they each were carrying one of Nena’s old purses so that a little part of Nena could be there too. It took everything in me not to fall on the floor in tears. That’s Jo, me, Dorothy Kay, Gulley and Honey all together. I have to believe Nena was smiling down on us because she loved nothing more than a party.

And if that’s not enough to make your heart grow ten sizes today, Dorothy Kay managed to sell more books for me because she told a lady at the cash register that she needed to buy it and then Jo told that lady, “When you read about Jo, that’s me. I’m Jo.” They are just the best and it meant so much to me that they came.

After we left the store we all went to eat burgers at Koppe Bridge before we headed out to Olson Field to watch the Aggies play. The kids ran around and we all laughed and told stories and soaked it all up.

We finally made it to the game and Olson was about as packed as I’ve ever seen it and it was about as humid as I can remember. As we were all trying our best not to sweat, Jamie asked, “Is this what they refer to as ‘sultry’?” It was beyond that. But we fed the kids snow cones and drank lots of water and watched the Aggies get down by five runs and then come back. And then get down again and come back.

Eventually most of our crew ended up standing under the breezeway because we all desperately wanted some shade and a breeze while we watched the game. But the kids stayed on the grass because they’re kids and don’t know about the sun spots you get when you turn forty.

Going into the bottom of the ninth, the Aggies were down by two but they came back and won it in a thrilling finish and we were all beside ourselves. We got to see the Olson magic and it was the perfect ending to a great day. And the dads texted to tell us to bring all the kids over to the grass and we took this picture to commemorate it.

Yes. We have a kid who has gone rogue with his Longhorn jersey. It’s something we’re all working through. But friends love even in the toughest of circumstances.

After the game, Jamie and Trevor were heading back to Dallas with their kids (Jen needed to leave a little earlier so she and her people had already gone) but they decided to swing by Honey and Big’s to grab a bite before hitting the road since Honey had a huge sandwich tray, more dips than I could count, cookies, and brownies waiting on us.

And somehow all the kids ended up piling in the car with Trevor so Jamie hopped in the car with Jon, Gulley and me. Then Trevor sent us this selfie.

I’m sure this is just what we imagined when we all first met in college.

Actually, it’s better than what we could have imagined back then.