Author: Big Mama

  • Looking Ahead

    Ever since I became a mother (and probably even before then) I have tried to picture myself at various stages of life. I wonder what I’ll be like, if I’ll feel the same way I do now and if everything I’m doing as a mother will be the best thing for my doodle. I look back on all the mistakes I made as a teenager and I want better for her. She is so strongwilled and I am constantly worrying if I am disciplining her in the right way for the right things.

    We had a major showdown last night. I realized she has slowly been gaining control of things by dawdling, trying to manipulate, etc. I had enough and put my foot down. Yesterday was a new beginning of making sure she knows the Mama and Daddy are the boss. We are benevolent, but she has to listen to us. As I was rocking her last night she said “I love you Mama” and I said “I love you too”. She said “then you shouldn’t tell me no”. How does she know to do that? I told her that I tell her no because I love her and my goal is to help her be a better person. I’m not sure she comprehends any of that but it’s true and hopefully it will sink in at some point.

    As a wise woman once told me “if they get to be thirteen and don’t know you’re in control…you’re sunk”. I pray that God will give me the wisdom to guide her in the way that’s best for her. She may not like me, but I know she’ll always love me.

  • A Sad Song

    Caroline decided yesterday evening that she wanted to spend the night with her Mimi and Bops. One phone call later (where she said “hurry mimi, it’s gettin’ too late) they had sped over and picked her up. It was so nice to have a free night and not have to get through the nightly beating which is getting her bathed and in her pajamas. Then when I went to pick her up this morning she threw a fit and wanted to take her nap “AT MIMI’S HOUSE”!!! I was only too happy to let her stay so that I could run some long overdue errands. I bought two new shirts at Adelante and then headed to Toys R Us.

    I have to make the momentous decision of trampoline vs. bouncy castle for her birthday present, but first I had to convince P that the tree in the backyard needs to come down. It’s just a small tree and yet it totally impedes the flow of playtime in our backyard. It was there before we added on to the house but with the addition it takes up too much room. I’ve been looking at our backyard with a critical eye ever since I decided we’ll have Caroline’s birthday party at home. I know P is thrilled at the prospect of pressure washing the back porch, cleaning the light fixtures and taking out a tree, but I am officially obsessed.

    Speaking of obsessed…Caroline had hand, foot and mouth disease about a month ago. One morning she woke up and had sores in her mouth. This has left a lasting impression on her little mind so much so that she starts most conversations with “I had a sore in my mouth last night”. I’m thinking we really need to work on her social graces. Sores in the mouth can be offputting, even if you are an adorable almost three year old.

    Tonight when I put her to bed she took out her paci to say her prayers. I couldn’t understand most of it, but hearing her little voice say “dear Jesus…” is just the sweetest thing in the world. It makes me forget that she’s the same little girl who had to get a spanking before we left the pool today. She threw an absolute fit and went running off, so I had to swat her little bottom. On the way to the car she told me she was singing a sad song. I asked her how it went and she sang this little “I am so sad about my spanking, this is my sad song”. The drama begins.

  • Goodbye Tomato

    Today was a pretty typical Saturday morning. P had to work so Caroline and I made cinnamon rolls. She doesn’t really care about the roll, just wants to lick the icing out of the container. Who am I to judge? I’d eat a bowl of raw cookie dough every day if I could.

    I put her down for her nap around noon but she didn’t sleep. I kept hearing these thuds and thunks but she seemed content so I let her stay in there so I could have a break. After about an hour she starts saying “Mama, I need some sticky tape for my tomato!!” The request got louder and louder, but finally she got quiet again. About 1:00 I decided to go ahead and let her get up. I walked in her room and she says “Mama, look my tomato needs some sticky tape”. She had gotten her beautiful Wizard of Oz pop up book off her bookshelves and completely shredded the pop up tornado (tomato). You can be sure that no amount of sticky tape will help that poor tomato now. It’s gone on to a better place.

    Tonight I went to see The Devil Wears Prada. I can’t tell you how hard parts of it made me laugh. Meryl Streep is so unbelievably good. I’ll definitely go see it again if I have a chance. The outfits alone are worth watching for.
    Tomorrow I have to work in the nursery at church which means I have to get us all dressed and out the door by 8:30. Never gonna happen.

  • Birthday Club

    I have a group of girlfriends that get together once a month for Birthday Club. We started it a year ago when went out for Gulley’s birthday and decided a night of laughs and margaritas is something all of us mom’s need everyday but we’ll settle for once a month. Our husbands love to ask how we have a birthday to celebrate every month even though there are only six girls. I’m not sure why putting a child to bed ONE night in every month is so difficult, but apparently it stresses them out.

    Anyway, we went out last night and though there were only 4 of us there, we had a great time. We always start off with the usual chitchat but as the margaritas start to flow we get down to the real stuff. All of us are struggling with our own things, but it’s nice to be able to talk about without feeling judged or like you’re crazy. I think women do each other a great injustice when they get so busy playing the superior mother/wife/employee etc. that they forget to share how life sucking all of it can be. Perfection is a great goal, but we’ll drive ourselves crazy because it’s also impossible.

    It makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one who feels like I’m about to lose it after having a 2 1/2 year old and 3 dogs needing my attention all day. I have a tendency to get “peopled out” and I thrive on silent downtime, which is something I don’t get very often. By the time I left to go out last night, I was yelling at the dogs “to please just leave me alone”. It was confirmation that once a month I need my birthday club to regain my sanity.

  • Tiny Dancer

    This morning Caroline had her first ballet class. Calling it ballet might be a stretch, but she did wear a little pink leotard, tights and the cutest ballet shoes you have ever seen. She was so proud as she marched and twirled around the mat. I think her favorite part was that each wall is a huge mirror so that she could look at herself from all angles. That child loves to watch herself do anything. Self esteem…not a big issue so far.

    This weekend I was talking to her about how we’re going to be getting rid of the paci after her 3rd birthday. She knows the routine and was talking excitedly about giving her pacis to the garbage men and then going to Toys R Us to pick out a “big girl” toy. Our friend asked her what she thought she would get and Caroline looked off (apparently dreaming of all the possibilities) and then said with all seriousness “probably some new pacis”. Oh I dread what I have before me. She won’t go without a fight I promise you that.

  • July 5, 2006

    We spent the holiday weekend in Key Allegro with some friends and I am still recovering. Caroline had an absolute ball! I can’t get over how much easier she is to travel with than she was this time a year ago. However, I am still so tired from being away from home and having her off her normal routine.
    Today we were able to see my friend Tiffany from college and her 3 girls. They are such cute girls and made me think how Caroline would be their age in such a short time. The time seems to be going so quickly. Someone once told me that with kids the years go by quickly even though the days can seem so slow. It is so true.
    She can have so much attitude and nothing makes me laugh harder than when she says “C’mon Big Mama!” She doesn’t quite get that being called “Big” isn’t always a compliment to people.
    Tonight she has a little stomach bug, so I let her get up and eat some toast. P and I were in the middle of eating our dinner and each had a beer. She kept saying “When I get BIG, I drink some of that wine!” She was so excited at the prospect, even while she has no concept of what that means. Oh well, we all need something to look forward to!