I realize I didn’t post anything yesterday. There were several reasons for this:
1. We had a weekend that was totally uneventful. Even Caroline’s soccer game was cancelled on Saturday morning due to rain. Which meant we stayed in our pajamas until noon.
2. Sunday night ended up being a late night for us and I didn’t even sit down until after 9:30 p.m. To add insult to injury, Twitter was all abuzz about the Solo cup talent on Miss America and I didn’t even get to watch it for myself until first thing Monday morning because PRIORITIES.
Had I known being able to move a plastic cup to the beat of a song would allow you to become Miss America, my life could have been so different. I thought that life choice was ruled out for me when it became evident I couldn’t twirl a fiery baton or do any type of ventriloquism.
3. There are only so many things to say about a weekend where you did nothing.
The truth is I’m leaving for Nashville for the DotMom Conference on Wednesday, plus my new book is due on October 1 and I’m spending all my free time writing these days. That might sound glamorous but it looks a lot like me sitting at the computer until I convince myself I’d rather clean the toilets instead. Surprisingly, this actually sounds like a pleasant alternative some days.
And I’ve learned a couple of things about myself when I’m under an imminent book deadline:
1. I don’t sleep.
2. By the end of the day I feel like I’m completely out of words because all the words have been swimming around in my head all day long.
So I’m just letting you know that for the next few weeks, I’ll continue to post here some but not every day. Something has to give and this is going to be it. Unless of course something really exciting happens like we get an ant farm and the ants spell out “LIE” in the gel.
And I’ll keep doing Fashion Friday because that doesn’t require much brain power and gives me an excuse to look at clothes.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with an update on Piper and Mabel. Otherwise known as the Dynamic Duo. Or the reason my white couch is a shell of what she once was.
The two of them never quit moving. They are a constant whirling dervish which is why most pictures I take of them end up looking like these.
But if you bribe them with a bone, you can get them to do this.
Or this.
Or this.
I realize it looks like they’re just lying in dirt in those pictures, but that is sadly what remains of our grass. They have transformed our lush, green backyard into a dirt pit with grass roots lying on top that they occasionally like to gnaw on for good measure.
To make it even more fun, they spend 23 1/2 hours a day soaking wet. This is because they both believe their water bucket has an optional wading pool feature. Therefore, this is what my back porch looks like all the time.
There is now mildew growing under our welcome mat and muddy paw prints all over our back door. This is also the reason my couch is now covered in a combination of twin sheets and beach towels all the time. It’s as attractive as what you’re imagining.
(I realize at some point we’re going to have to stop them from jumping on the couch but they shoot through the back door like greased piglets at a County Fair and make a beeline for the couch. It’s like they know it’s my achilles heel.)
Last Friday P found two dogs running loose around the job site where he was working and could tell they belonged to someone. So he loaded them in his truck and took them to the vet to see if they were microchipped since they didn’t have collars or tags. He texted me a photo of these two dogs and said, “Look what’s coming home with me!” And I texted him back, “You need to know I am two dogs away from a complete nervous breakdown.”
He thought I was joking.
Fortunately, the two dogs were reunited with their owner. Although it’s kind of a shame because they were much better behaved than our two bad girls.
In fact, just this morning Mabel gave me the side eye for attempting to pick up her breakfast even though she was clearly finished eating.
“Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout Willis?”
She will flat cut you for taking her food. And she constantly feels insecure about her meals, certain that Piper is getting something much better.
Piper wants you to know this isn’t the case. In fact, she regrets to inform you she gets the exact same food as Mabel although she would prefer Scout’s food, which is why she stalks his food bowl constantly.
Meanwhile Scout can’t be bothered because he’s old, deaf and almost blind.
But he will still take their bones from them any day of the week because it’s his prerogative as their surrogate grandpa.
