Author: Big Mama

Let’s assume you care

I believe I mentioned at the beginning of the summer that my goal was to finish several books. Or maybe I didn’t actually write it and just thought it to myself. I can’t remember.

But I’m proud to say that this has been a stellar summer of reading for me and I still have two weeks left. In fact, I’m headed to Target in just a little bit to find myself another book because I finished the most recent books I bought in a record amount of time.

(Let’s forget for a minute that I’m supposed to actually be writing my own book right now yet am spending way more time reading words other people have written.)

(I’m going to claim that I need the inspiration.)

(Even though all I’m reading are fiction books that have nothing to do with what I’m writing about. However, maybe I’m expanding my vocabulary. Let’s go with that.)

(Also, I just read that Kim Kardashian is writing a book about taking selfies because she has mastered the art of selfies. To that I say, “Dear America, You’re better than this.”)

Anyway, I thought you might be interested in what I’ve read thus far and my overall thoughts. Or maybe not. In which case you can stop reading now.

I think I mentioned earlier in the summer that I read What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, Looking for Alaska by John Green and Mrs. Poe by Lynn Cullen. Of those three, What Alice Forgot was far and away my favorite.

So then I moved on to The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty. I know almost everyone has loved this book but I’m torn. I really liked most of it and I love her writing style, but I thought the plot was kind of depressing and it wrapped up way too neatly at the end. I felt like it was more than a little bit beyond believability. However, it was still a good read.

After I finished it I felt like I needed something totally different. I moved on to Somerset by Leila Meacham and followed it with Roses by Leila Meacham. They were the perfect summer read and I finished them in a record amount of time. Roses was actually written first and then Somerset was written later as a prequel, but I think you could read them in either order. They tell the story of the Toliver family who moved from South Carolina to Texas in 1835 and started a cotton plantation in East Texas. If you’re a fan of the epic story, then you will love them. I finished Roses yesterday and felt sad all day that it was over.

But now it’s time to move on to something else. Which is why I’m heading to Target with my list of suggested books in hand. I’ll let you know what I choose.

Because I know you’ll lose sleep over it.
The two week countdown

Well we’re down to two weeks left of summer. Which is kind of a downer because I’m not really ready to get back to the grind.

But it’s probably about time since we’ve reached new levels of relaxation and sleeping late. When you can no longer make it out of your pajamas or your house before noon, it might be time for an intervention.

Last Thursday, in an attempt to make sure we’ve sufficiently milked this summer for every bit of fun, Gulley and I told the kids we were taking them to swim at Barton Springs in Austin. We went there last summer but it was a rainy day and the water was way too cold when there was no sunshine that allowed them to warm themselves like lizards on the rocks. So we’d told them all summer that we’d go back. But then it turns out that Barton Springs isn’t open during the day on Thursdays and we had to come up with a Plan B.

After a little discussion we decided on Blue Hole in Wimberley. We’ve been talking about going for years and have always heard great things about it. So we loaded up a cooler with drinks along with some Oreos and a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos and made the hour drive. And I’m sad to report that it wasn’t our favorite activity.

The park was beautiful, the water was gorgeous and the kids were thrilled about the two different rope swings available. But there were some teenage boys there who totally monopolized the swings and jumped in front of the younger kids several times causing more near collisions than I can count. So instead of a relaxing day watching our kids swim and swing in a Texas swimming hole, Gulley and I spent our time wishing for a nerve pill and stress-eating Oreos.

We mentioned it to the staff several times but were told it’s a “swim at your own risk” facility. And I get that. We knew there were no lifeguards on duty but it seems foolish to allow such risky and potentially dangerous behavior to be tolerated, especially by rude boys who had no regard for the safety of other swimmers.

And so next time we’ll stick to Barton Springs.

On the upside, we used the experience to illustrate all manner of teachable moments to our kids. I’m sure that was their favorite part of the day, if not the whole summer. Nothing says HOORAY FOR SUMMER like your stressed out moms giving lectures on social niceties and swimming hole etiquette.

Friday was designated as school supply shopping day. I’m not sure why. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But then I remembered that it was tax-free shopping weekend here in Texas this past weekend and stores are my sworn enemy during those three days.

I nearly backed out and told Caroline we could do it another day, but the part of me that wanted to get it over with ended up winning out. And in an unprecedented move, I decided to completely skip Target and head straight to Office Max. This turned out to be the best thing ever. School supply shopping was totally and completely painless. We found everything we needed in one stop and I even had a coupon which is like a Christmas miracle because I am the worst about using coupons. I always have great intentions and then find them folded up in my purse months after the expiration date has passed.

We even found the perfect Mead Five Star 2 inch binder which was rumored to be completely out of stock everywhere. Granted, we only heard this from one person but Caroline had been warning me for a week that you couldn’t find them ANYWHERE, not even on Amazon or Ebay. Which makes it even more amazing that there were about fifty to choose from at Office Max. Or maybe it just confirms that 6th grade girls have a flair for drama.

And truth be told, I don’t even know that she needs a 2 inch binder. But if not, I guess we can take advantage of the Mead Five Star 2 inch binder famine and sell it on Ebay.

I was feeling so optimistic after our shopping trip that I threw caution and good sense to the wind and drove us to The Container Store in search of locker wallpaper. Apparently this is a thing now. All manner of decorative things for your locker. My mother-in-law bought Caroline a chandelier for her locker for her birthday and we found a couple of other decorative items to go along with it. Based on the current state of Caroline’s room and her basic organization skills, I feel strongly it will all be trashed by Columbus Day.

P left to go fishing on Friday afternoon so it was just Caroline and me that night. We went to eat Mexican food with Mimi and Bops and then came home and watched the original Karate Kid. It was every bit as good as I remembered but I didn’t have the same enthusiasm for Elisabeth Shue’s hair and wardrobe that I felt back in the 80’s.

And then Saturday Caroline spent the day with a friend and I spent the day all by myself. It was blissful. I went to the grocery store and then spent the rest of the day watching movies and reading. In the quiet. By myself.

I may have even eaten a frozen Tombstone pepperoni pizza for lunch and chocolate ice cream for dinner and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it because in two weeks summer will be over and I’ll have to be a responsible adult again.

But not yet.
Fashion Friday: Edition the heat is so hot

Well this has been the week.

The week of the summer when it officially gets to the point that the heat feels like it’s sucking the life right out of me. It happens every year.

The good news is it usually happens by the end of July and I’ve made it to the first week of August. The bad news is there’s at least another month and a half of serious heat ahead of me. Welcome to the portion of the summer known as “I refuse to leave the air-conditioning”.

But enough about that. I found some cute things this week and even threw in a couple of plus-sized items. Several of you have asked for that and so I’m going to do my best to include a few every week.

1. pacanda tank

I bought this earlier in the summer in the charcoal gray color and paid full price. Normally the fact that it’s now on sale for $29.95 would cause me to weep and gnash my teeth. But I’ve loved it so much and worn it so often that I don’t even feel sad about it.

In fact, I may go ahead and order it in another color because it looks great by itself but would also look good under a jacket for fall and winter.

2. plus-size one button fleece cardigan

I featured these several times last fall and winter, but I cannot express how cute they are in person. This is one of those things that the picture on the website doesn’t really do justice. Even better?

They’re on sale for $33.98 AND they come in a bunch of cute colors. Perfect to dress up or down when the weather cools off. Which really will happen one of these days.

3. striped duet dress

I think these dresses are really cute and I love a dress you can just throw on with sandals in the summer.

4. gap fluid v-neck tee

I ran in Gap the other today to, TRUE CONFESSION, buy a denim vest. And I took a few minutes to look around the store and saw these t-shirts. I love that they are a looser fit than a normal Gap tee and would look great paired with jeans and boots for fall or shorts now, plus they are super soft. And it comes in maroon which is my signature color for college football season.

Gap is currently offering 30% off regular-priced items through 8/11 with code THANKS at checkout.

5. daniel rainn plus-size bird print top

I believe I’ve mentioned I love Daniel Rainn tops and I think this one is so pretty. It makes me think of that Portlandia episode, “Put a bird on it”.

6. painted threads crochet tunic vest

If my intuition is correct, this fall is going to be the season of the vest. And by intuition, I mean the fact that I’m seeing vests pop up on every single website. I love this long one because it would look great with jeans or even a dress with boots. Such a great layering piece.

7. bohemian soul fringed sweater

Speaking of great layering pieces, I love this fringed sweater. Just repeat everything I said above about the crochet sweater vest.

8. sleeveless faux wrap blouse

This is another great transition piece because you can wear it by itself now and with a jacket later. It comes in several different prints, but I think this one is my favorite.

9. big buddha connor handbag

I’m on the search for a good handbag for fall and I just happened to see this one on the DSW website. Don’t let the blue scare you. It also comes in black and beige. I think the black is my favorite.

10. john wind gold initial bracelet

I have this bracelet and wear it almost every day. Or at least the days when I put on real clothes and makeup and try to look nice. I highly recommend it. It looks a little vintage, which I love.

That’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.
Suit and tie

So last week when we were on the road trip, Gulley and I sat around the breakfast table with her mom one morning talking about various things. And somehow the subject of Justin Timberlake being in concert in San Antonio on August 5 came up.

Gulley and I briefly discussed how fun it would be to go and then had almost talked ourselves out of it when her mom declared we absolutely should go. And it brought total clarity to the situation. Of course we should go. It’s Justin Timberlake. In San Antonio. Who knows when else we might get the chance to see him? And we knew it would be a great show because I really do believe he’s one of the greatest performers of our generation.

Which is a statement I never could have imagined making back in the days when he and Britney wore matching denim suits.

Oh Britney.

I don’t even know what’s most tragic in that photo. Her purse? His hat? The pocket of his jacket that looks like the back of a pair of Levi’s?

I mean. Can you think of anyone else who has managed to so flawlessly transition from denim cowboy hat wearing boy band member to beloved international superstar?

Also, in case you’ve forgotten, it was rumored that he and Britney once had a dance off in a club after their messy breakup. A dance off. I didn’t even know this was a real thing but ever since I heard about it all those years ago, I’ve never wished more to see something live and in person.

Anyway, we got online and found ourselves two tickets for the concert. Here’s what I’ll tell you about our seats: There are birds that exist that will never go as high as we were in the AT&T Center last night, but we didn’t care. We just wanted to be there for the experience.

And it did not disappoint. Even though there was nary a denim suit to be found.

From the minute he stepped on stage he put on an amazing show and I can’t even imagine how exhausted he is when it’s all over because he never quit moving. He danced, he sang, he played the guitar and the piano and worked the crowd. He mostly sang his songs, but did throw in a little Elvis and Michael Jackson and, towards the end, sang Poison by Bell Biv Devoe, which I’m not going to lie.

It almost made up for the fact I missed the dance off between him and Britney.
Wherever the river runs

This has been my summer of reading fiction books. And I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

But it’s no secret (or maybe it is) that my first reading love is always a memoir. I love reading about real life and things people have been experienced and how it has impacted them. Which is why I was so excited to read my friend Kelly Minter’s new memoir, Wherever the River Runs.

I know I talk about a lot of books here, but I hope you’ll pay attention today because Wherever the River Runs quickly became one of my favorites. I read an advanced copy of it way back in February. I remember it clearly because I was on my way to a speaking event in Virginia Beach during one of the great snowstorms of last winter and all my fears of getting stuck at the airport kind of faded away for a while as I read Kelly’s words.

Wherever the River Runs is the story of Kelly’s journey to the jungles of Brazil as she and her friends minister to the forgotten people who live along the Amazon River. I’d heard many of these stories in person, but reading about them in Kelly’s beautiful, descriptive, funny way of telling a story brought them to a new light. As I read this book on the plane and later that night in my hotel room, I found myself inspired and challenged in a whole new way.

And here’s what I love the most about this book. I feel like there are so many voices in the church right now who make us feel like we’re all supposed to be out doing these big, huge things for God on some foreign mission field to the point that we can start to believe loving our neighbor and raising our babies and volunteering at the elementary school right here in America is insignificant. But Kelly talks about how her work in Brazil led her to the realization of all there is to do in our own communities.

Here’s one of many things I underlined:

“…the Brazilian church is ministering to its people in the Amazon, but at about the same rate we as American Christians are giving ourselves to the neighbors, projects, sick, homeless, and spiritual wanderers living in our midst. If I were going to wish the Manaus would seek out its own river people, I would have to hold myself to that same standard and ask what I was doing in my community. What ‘Amazon’ was I missing, practically living on top of, merely because the ‘harvest field’, as Jesus referred to it, had blended into the background of my everyday life, just like the river people had disappeared into Manaus’s landscape? For some reason, it took seeing Brazil’s mission field before I could clearly see my own.”

See?

That’s challenging.

I can’t encourage you enough to pick up a copy for yourself. Maybe read it in your small group or Sunday school class. I guarantee there’s something in it for everyone and it will make you fall in love with Kelly and, even more, with the God she serves.

Wherever the River Runs is available here on Amazon and here on Barnes & Noble and here at Walmart.

(Your best bet might be B&N or Walmart or your local bookstore. Just checked and Amazon is down to only 12 copies at the moment.)
Eleven

Dear Caroline,

Today you turn eleven. Seriously. Eleven years old.

And get this. You’re starting junior high in three weeks. You’re going to have a locker and change classes and be in the band like a real live big kid.

Maybe someday I’ll quit wondering how it’s all managing to go by so fast, but probably not.

But here’s the thing. I adore you at this new stage somewhere between childhood and becoming a teenager.

It’s not that I haven’t loved every single minute of being your mom because I can’t even explain all the ways you have made life brighter for the last eleven years, but seeing the transformation in you over the past year has been an indescribable gift.

Your questions have changed. You’ve transitioned from “What happen, Mama?” and “Why it darken outside, Daddy?” to “How do I know if someone is a real friend?” and “How do you know when God is telling you something?” These questions require significantly more thought and sometimes more mental capacity than I feel capable of at the end of a long day full of math homework and soccer carpool and making dinner appear from nothing but an onion and a pound of ground beef. But I love that you ask. I love that right now your Daddy and I are still the authority on most subjects as far as you’re concerned. I realize this probably won’t always be the case so I intend to impart as much wisdom as I can while you’re still paying such close attention.

Even though I wasn’t able to talk you out of getting bangs this year. Like most women before you, you began growing them back out the very next day.

Last night we went to go get manicures and pedicures and as we were leaving you said, “Thanks, Mama. I know this hasn’t been the easiest summer for us, but I love my fingernails.” And you’re right. It hasn’t been the easiest summer. These last couple of months have been filled with lots of growing pains and new steps of independence that you weren’t quite ready to take, but I watched you take them anyway. You will never know until you’re a mom yourself how hard it was for me to not drive straight to Aggie soccer camp and pick you up when I knew you weren’t having a good time. All I wanted was to have you back in my arms and under my roof so I could make it all better.

But I knew that the bigger lesson was for you to know you could survive it. Yes, it wasn’t your favorite and, no, I don’t think you’re going back next year, but you stuck it out and even just two weeks later you’ve admitted you knew it was what you needed to do. And I think the hardest part for me was knowing this was just the first of many times when I’d have to fight my desire to control a situation and run to your rescue versus letting you figure it out for yourself, to learn that it’s usually the tough situations that teach us the most about ourselves.

The other day we were talking about a few things and I told you that you were getting to an age where you were going to have to do the right thing because you knew it was the right thing to do and that Daddy and I won’t always be able to make choices for you. You took that in for a minute and said, “Yes, but it’s really important to me that I always please you and Daddy.”

I’m not going to lie. I’m going to run with that as long as I can.

But these are the years when you begin to make a series of choices. Everything from what sport to play to how hard you choose to apply yourself in school to the friends you will let into your life. These are the little things that will become the big things and we will encourage you every single step of the way to follow your heart and be true to the unique person God has made you to be and to strive to be the best at whatever you choose to do. Yet, ultimately, we’re heading into the years where the decisions are yours to make and the consequences are yours to live with, good or bad.

Here’s what I can promise you. Daddy and I will be here to cheer you on and pick you up and love you unconditionally through the best and the worst of all of it.

One last thing and then I’ll wipe my tears and quit being a sap. You are so funny. I can’t tell you how many times you bust out with something at the dinner table that makes us laugh until we cry and ask each other later, “How does she know to be so dang funny?” We are a family that puts a premium on humor, probably more than is appropriate at times, and you are proof that you can’t fight DNA.

Eleven years ago today you showed up two weeks before your due date, perfectly capturing Shakespeare’s words “Though she be but little, she is fierce.” And that has basically summed you up every day since then.

You will always be the light of our lives. If I could choose one kid out of all the kids in the world, I’d choose you over and over again. You make us laugh, you challenge us, you teach us, and, most of all, you make us love you more every day.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl. Eleven is going to be awesome.

Love,
Mama