All I have to say right now is stomach illnesses are of the devil.
If I can keep anything down and if I survive, I’ll be back someday.
I have always prided myself on my strong stomach, but this has brought me, literally, to my knees. I have no doubt it would have killed a lesser woman.
I’m going to be totally honest with y’all. This is one of those posts that I debate whether I should post at all. Not because of any controversial content, but because of the lack of really any content at all. However, due to my OCD, I start to go into withdrawals if I don’t post something. I apologize.
1. One of the highlights of my week this week was when I saw NBC’s fall schedule and realized my prayers have been answered. Friday Night Lights is on the fall schedule for, appropriately, Friday nights at 9:00 central standard time. If I have said it once, I have said it an obsessive amount of times, but it is THE BEST show on television. If y’all haven’t watched it, then I can safely tell you that your enjoyment of life is not all it could be.
But, GOOD NEWS! NBC will start reruns of Season 1 on Sunday, May 27th. Set the DVR and get caught up. It will be like an early Christmas present with a stocking full of chocolate and money.
2. I should be embarrassed to admit this, but I cried like a baby when I watched the series finale of Gilmore Girls. It hasn’t even been very good this year, but it was like saying goodbye to an old friend.
And when I say I cried, I mean I cried like I was afraid my eyes might be puffy the next day. Something tells me that as much as I loved Lorelai and Rory, some PMS might have been partially responsible for the excessive tears. At least I hope so…otherwise, I need to get a life that doesn’t involve being overly attached to fictional characters. There’s a term for people like that, and that term is CRAZY.
3. Grey’s Anatomy…I just don’t know what to say. While last year it was my television BFF, this year it has not been able to compete with Friday Night Lights ( I realize I am obsessed). I thought the season finale was good, but honestly, all the drama is making me a little tired.
I am over Mer and Der. Let’s just move on.
4. This has nothing to do with what has become a T.V. themed post, but last night, P got out of the shower and he called for me to come in the bathroom. I walked in and this is the question that came out of his mouth.
“Did you know there was poop on the bathroom floor?”
Oh, yes. Sure I did. I just figured I’d let it sit there and it would find its way to the toilet eventually. I hated to waste a Viva paper towel picking it up.
And this is why, in real life, Mer and Der would never make it. Because at some point in every mature relationship that leads to marriage and child raising, a time will come when the love of your life asks if you knew there was poop on the bathroom floor.
It just doesn’t make for good T.V.
Let’s be honest, it barely makes for a good blog post.
Y’all have a lovely Friday!
Since I am no longer gainfully employed, I have been looking for ways to cut back on our monthly expenses, because the funny thing about not having a job is the paycheck fairies quit direct depositing goodness into your checking account. Who knew? And since we have not only lost a source of income, but acquired a car payment and insurance payments, it is time for a few budget cuts.
I have never been one to live on a budget as my daddy would be quick to tell you. In fact, he received so many overdraft notices from my bank in college letting him know that I had overdrawn my account and they had covered the indiscretion by kindly taking money out of his personal account, that he referred to these notices as love notes. It was just my way of saying hello and really, all the money came from him anyway, so what did it matter whose account it was technically in? It’s semantics.
However, with the realities of adulthood, I learned to be a little wiser about money. However, we have never run our household with a pie wedge budget, although if I could figure out how to pie wedge stuff, I would totally do it. Nothing would make me happier than to have a nice, color coded wedge to help me allot our funds, but I’m afraid it might require math, so I’ll do without.
Anyway, we have figured out a few ways to cut some expenses here and there. Obviously, we let Cata go which means we’ll save a bundle in Grab-its money alone. But what I’m really struggling with is how to save money at the grocery store.
While I was still working, this was a typical trip to the store for me. I’d always start in the produce section and pick up about six avocadoes, never paying attention to the price because you can’t put a price on guacamole. Then, I’d buy a few bags of Sour Patch Kids because they are an essential. Organic chocolate milk in a cute glass bottle with a cow on it? I’ll take two. It’s more than worth the money to see that cute bottle in my fridge.
Then, of course, I had to buy the delicious pre-marinated HEB brand fajita meat, brand name dog food (because when the dogs aren’t busy licking their rear ends they have very discriminating tastes), Viva papertowels, Charmin Ultra better-than-a-bidet toilet paper, Dixie paperplates, Ziploc baggies with the super-patented ultra lock seal of death, Blue Bell ice cream, and oh my goodness, they sell OPI nailpolish at HEB, so I better get at least 2 different colors right now.
I’m also partial to Biolage hair products, Kashi trail mix bars, Ghiradelli chocolate chips, Starbucks ground coffee and making sure I purchase the latest People, US Weekly and InStyle because after all, a girl has to stay current. Needless to say, initially, it was fairly easy to cut back on some things that MAY fall under the category of NOT NECESSARY, although if I were stranded on a desert island, I would totally need the Biolage shampoo and conditioner because nothing damages your hair like salt water and sun.
So, after my initial cutbacks, I was still trying to come up with some other things I could replace with cheaper items. I decided to go with cheap paper towels, which I purchased in bulk. Let’s just say that going from Viva to Brand X is the paper towel equivalent of going from a luxurious spa resort to a camp out on the beach. Hellish and scratchy.
P has now forbidden me to buy cheap paper towels and toilet paper.
My question today is how do y’all save money at the grocery store? Don’t tell me about Costco because, honestly, buying in bulk makes me itch. I already have 600 pounds of elk meat in my freezer and I don’t have enough storage to put an 80 lb. bottle of laundry detergent somewhere. Also, don’t suggest generic peanut butter because that is just sick and wrong.
So, within those parameters, what are you willing to cut costs on and what are the items you absolutely will not sacrifice even if it means your children will go to college on student loans?
Well, let me start by saying WE HAD MORE FUN. If y’all haven’t taken a road trip recently with whoever your equivalent of Gulley is, then get in the car and just do it. And if you don’t have a Gulley equivalent…GET ONE.
I started the day off running a little late. The plan was I would drop Caroline off at school at 8:45 and meet Gulley back at my house. But Caroline has some kind of animal like instinct that alerts her to odd phenomenons, like us needing to actually be out of the house by a certain time, and slept until 8:00. This would never happen on a morning where we have nowhere to be. Life is not that kind and certainly doesn’t care about my dream of sleeping past 7 a.m. on any given morning.
Anyway, I got Caroline dropped off and called Gulley on her cell to see if she was already at my house. She answered and I asked, “Are you waiting for me at my house?” and she said, “Yes, but the construction workers told me you had just left.” Which brings me to a whole other point about being under constant surveillance by the construction crew working on Tillie’s house next door. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t a slimy type construction crew making obscene comments or anything. They just notice everything that happens at our house.
They tell Caroline to have a good day at school. They ask P how business is going. They were so excited about my new car. And at the rate we’re going, we’ll be inviting them all for Christmas this year.
Finally, Gulley and I loaded up in my car and headed to her mama’s house to drop off Will and pick up her stepdad who we call Big, because he is, in fact, Big. And can I just interrupt this road trip recap to inform y’all that when we got in the car, the opening music to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” was playing and Will knew what it was and started singing “Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Uh Oh”.
And that is why he is a rockstar and I love him.
Anyway, we picked up Big and were on our way. We had roadtripped with Big once before about 15 years ago, so we figured he’s already heard it all, so we talked freely about important womanly issues like how I should get my hair cut and what we were fixing for dinner these days. Actually, Big has been home from work for about a week while he’s waiting to start a new job, and he was a wealth of daytime T.V. information. He let us know that dark green, leafy lettuces are better for us than iceberg and he also knew some potential plotline information for Grey’s Anatomy because he saw McSteamy on Regis and Kelly a few days ago.
And that is why Big is a rockstar and I love him.
When we got to College Station, we dropped off Big and headed to the hospital to go see Tiff and her new baby boy, Zeke. It was so fun to walk in the hospital room and completely surprise Tiff. She had no idea we were coming because, let’s be honest, by the time you have your 4th baby, you’re wondering if your husband is going to show.
We hugged, cried and kissed that new, darling baby boy and then he was off to get circumcised. Talk about a buzz kill.
Gulley, Tiff and I met when we were all Diamond Darlings at A&M. One of the cardinal rules for Diamond Darlings is you can’t date the players, and while we all broke this rule, Tiff took it to the next level and actually ended up marrying one of the players. She is an overachiever.
And that is why she is a rockstar and I love her.
But seriously, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. One of the first times we ever talked, I asked her what her major was and she answered, “being a wife and mother”, which coming from anyone else might have caused me to reach for the nearest bucket to throw up in, but coming from her, it was just so genuine. She is super mom, but not in a fake way. She doesn’t pretend to have it all together, she just loves almost every minute of the chaos. In fact, one time when her girls were smaller she showed up at church and realized she had forgotten to put shoes on and instead of melting down, she just laughed and went with it.
And when she called to tell me she was pregnant I said, “Oh Tiff, I don’t know how you do it. I can barely handle the one I have!” and she answered, “Well, I think having just one is a lot harder than having three!” So obviously, she’s also a good liar.
She is always thinking of others. In fact, she runs a baking business and makes the most incredible cakes and cookies y’all will ever see. She spent the day and night before her scheduled c-section making the prettiest cookies I have ever seen and bagging them in little baggies and tying them up with brown ribbon and tulle, then placed them in a huge basket to bring to the hospital to hand out to all of her nurses and any of her visitors. Seriously.
And let me tell y’all that the hospital staff was knocking themselves out to take care of her. Even housekeeping got in on the action and was in her room begging for something to clean after they heard the rumor about the new mama with the cookies. In fact, I had to fight some of them off just so I could grab about 3 or 9 for myself.
Those hospital staff members get a little touchy about their free food.
Needless to say, Tiff and her baby were the hit of the hospital.
So, I decided if I ever have another baby, I am going to bring something real nice like some beef jerky sticks and perhaps an economy size bag of chips for the hospital staff to share, because obviously it’s the little things that count.
I am constantly being accused of being a wildly spontaneous person. What with all my lists and endless anxiety over the minutiae of life, how could I not be? In fact, just the other day I deleted an episode of Oprah off the DVR without even checking to see what it was about AND I already mentioned that I spent my Saturday cleaning out my refrigerator ON A WHIM.
Nothing really says WHIMSICAL like tossing out bad cottage cheese and 2 week old pork chops.
So, because I am a live life in the list filled moment kind of girl, it only took me about 5 days to decide to take a spontaneous road trip with Gulley. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning, we will be two free mamas hitting the open road.
One of our best friends from college actually lives in the Motherland, otherwise known as College Station, TX. She had a scheduled c-section with her 4th child on Monday, and Gulley and I have decided we must make a day trip to go see the new baby. Plus, we will take any excuse to be in the car together without children for 6 hours roundtrip. There will be no end to the solving of all the world’s problems.
And we get to see a beautiful, brand new baby boy who has yet to be named, but has 3 of the cutest big sisters and one of the best mamas in the world.
See y’all tomorrow.
Well, it’s all over. Just like Baryshinokov, another brilliant dance career is finished. My Mother’s Day beating is done.
I started the weekend by cleaning out my refrigerator and freezer on Saturday morning. I don’t mean just throwing out some bad leftovers, I mean taking out each shelf and scrubbing it down from top to bottom. I figured while I was signing up for beatings for the weekend, I might as well throw in all the things I dread the most.
I am embarrassed to even tell y’all how gross my refrigerator was. It looked like a science experiment gone bad. I had spilled coffee grounds on the bottom of my freezer that were stuck to a substance that I couldn’t even identify. I have been living in freezer denial for a long time, not wanting to face the freezer yuckness head on, but I knew it was time to pay the freezer piper, or whatever.
I didn’t take before photos because I knew y’all would judge me. You say you wouldn’t, but you would. YOU WOULD. It’s okay. I’d judge me, too.
The refrigerator
The freezer
Please note the cleanliness. Also note the two major food groups: Tater Tots and Velveeta
An organic, all natural diet is of utmost importance around here.
After spending the better part of the day cleaning the fridge, it was time for the dress rehearsal for Caroline’s recital. Nevermind that some good friends had invited us to spend a relaxing day at the lake, I had to get Caroline all dressed and made up so that she could go practice her elaborate dance routine because really, if the three year olds didn’t get the opportunity to practice, the artistic integrity of the routine could be completely compromised. How are you going to pick your nose and daydream under the bright lights of the big stage if you haven’t had an opportunity to practice?
The dress rehearsal went fairly well, with the exception of some future Christina Aguilera wannabe who kept getting in front of Caroline and way overexaggerating the moves. Back off honey, it’s not Star Search.
Sunday morning we went to church and then headed home to rest up for the recital. Because I am in total denial over the fact that Caroline never sleeps during the day anymore, I attempted to get her to take a nap before the recital, which proved to be more draining than trying to identify the unknown substance that was in the bottom of my freezer.
Finally, it was time to do hair and makeup and head to the auditorium. Here she is in the car on the way there. Can y’all sense the joy?
The dance studio had assured us that the younger students would perform first so the kids wouldn’t get too tired waiting to perform. It was a big, fat lie. After I got Caroline settled with her class, I went to meet P in the auditorium where he pointed out in the program that Caroline would be performing 12th out of 24 performances.
Those dance teachers are dirty liars.
And to add to the enjoyment, the air conditioning was out in the building. There is nothing quite as lovely as spending Mother’s Day in a hot auditorium surrounded by the sweat of hundreds of strangers. All I could think about was how hot I was and wonder if Caroline’s red lipstick and eyebrow pencil were running down her face.
The teachers kept stressing the importance of the makeup, because otherwise the kids would just look tired on stage. They’re 3, how tired can they look?
Finally, she came out on stage. She did most of her moves with a few periods of rest to daydream and check out the lights on the stage, but she looked so cute, and after it was over even stayed on stage a few minutes longer than the rest of the class to soak up the glory. I’d love to have it on video, but since they don’t allow video cameras the only way that’s possible is if I shell out $30.00 for a DVD.
The dance recital market is just one huge racket.
I did get to video the dress rehearsal, so at least that’s something. And it’s free. And it’s just my daughter (well, and Christina Aguilera), not 150 other kids that I don’t know and will most likely never see again.
After the performance, I went downstairs to pick her up and hugged her and told her how great she did and how proud I was of her. She took all of that information in and told me, “Mama, you need to quit talking now.”
One recital and she turns into a diva.
As we walked to the car, Bops was carrying her and told her she did a great job. She replied, “I know, Bops. I beat all those other kids.”
Which is why next year, we’re playing soccer.
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