Author: Big Mama

  • ABC is my new must see T.V.

    ABC is running a new promo for the fall telling us to Feel Thursdays. Y’all I am feeling it because Thursday is the new night for Grey’s Anatomy this fall.

    I can’t even watch the promo without wanting to cry at the sight of Izzie in her gorgeous, pink dress being carried by Alex after Denny died with that song by Snow Patrol playing in the background. Then when they show McDreamy looking at Meredith…gives me chills. Can I just say I love this show?

    So if you’re looking for me on September 21st, don’t call during primetime. I’ll be feeling Thursdays.

  • Ain’t nobody gonna talk to my mama like that

    Tonight’s Project Runway was a perfect example of why the average woman has a hard time finding clothes. The majority of the designers had no idea how to design an outfit for a woman larger than a size 6.

    I loved when they brought out the designers’ mothers for the challenge and it was a great twist to not pair them with their child. I started the show really liking Jeffrey when I saw his mama and she cried about how far he had come. It made me want to see him do well…and then he turned on us. I thought the way he treated Angela’s mother was terrible. So while I felt bad for Jeffrey’s mama, I quit cheering for him about 3 minutes after I’d had my initial change of heart.

    I cracked up when Vincent said Ulli’s mom had a “European air” seeing as how she is FROM Germany, but he surprised me and designed a very nice dress. I still think he isn’t nearly as talented as some of the others, but this week he did a good job. Ulli’s design for Kayne’s mother was beautiful and my personal favorite. As usual, Michael did a nice job and I liked his mama!

    Robert’s dress for Vincent’s sister was really bad, but in my opinion Jeffrey’s outfit for Angela’s mother was the worst. Bless her heart she looked so uncomfortable and when she had her chance to talk to the judges she threw him under the bus and so did Angela. I thought he deserved it though, because there was no excuse for how rude he was. I was hoping he’d go because I’m sick of his attitude towards everyone. Oh his poor, poor mama.

    And Sister, you were right…Laura is pregnant with her 6th child. She’s a great designer but fashion, shmashion…she’s probably doing this whole thing for the free vacation.

  • Pizza Box Meme

    I was tagged for this meme by Barb at A Chelsea Morning, so here it goes.

    1.What was your favorite thing about being a kid?

    I loved the last day of school and knowing that you had a whole long lazy summer in front of you. I remember riding my bike to our neighborhood pool with my gang of girlfriends knowing that all we had to do was remember to be home by dark. We’d go up to the 7-11 and load up on enough candy to last us all day long and spend the rest of the day practicing our flips off the diving board.

    2. What was your favorite subject in school?

    English, without a doubt. I loved that I got to read great books and write papers about them. I always had great English teachers who instilled a love of reading and writing. I will say that Algebra II was the bane of my existence, and I can hardly type the word Geometry without breaking out into a cold sweat and wanting to cry.

    3. Who was your best friend when you were 10?

    Caroline Fletcher. She lived two houses down from us and was one year older. I thought she was the coolest thing that ever lived. We had our own girl gang (kind of like the Pink Ladies) but we wore red satin jackets that our moms bought us at Weiners. She had a jukebox at her house and if we played Jive Talking by the Bee Gees once, we played it a million times. I also remember that we both wore our hair feathered and spent alot of time turning our heads upside down so we could flip our hair back. I never looked as cool as she did though. I lost touch with her after she moved and would love to know where she is now.

    4. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

    I would be one of my dad and stepmom’s dogs. They get to live inside, sleep on an incredibly comfortable bed and basically live a life of luxury with no responsibility, except for barking at the mailman. Not that I want to bark at the mailman, but I’m just saying they feel like it is their responsibility so I would carry on the tradition.

    5. What would you change about your school, occupation, life right now?

    Honestly, nothing. I’m pretty content and feel very blessed with what I have. If I could get Caroline to remember to use the potty EVERY time she needs to go that would be fabulous, but we’ll get there.

    6. What’s your favorite color?

    Depends on what it’s on. I like sage greens, sky blues, and pink if it’s that perfect shade between light and hot.

    7. What’s your favorite type of crust and topping on a pizza?

    I don’t want to sound all snobby and sophisticated but the pizza I love the most is a frozen Tombstone with pepperoni. One night a week, P. is gone and I love to bake myself a Tombstone and eat it while drinking an ice cold Corona with lime while watching some girly show on T.V. like the Gilmore Girls. I know most of y’all will think that’s disgusting, but it’s what I like. My relationship with pizza is complex and I go through times where I will even think that I hate pizza. It’s just a weird quirk. But when and if I do decide to eat pizzeria pizza, it absolutely must have thin, crispy crust. Anything else is just a travesty.

    So there you have it and it’s probably more information than you wanted to know! Anyone else up for doing this meme? Consider yourself tagged.

  • WFMW-Making timeouts work for you


    A big form of discipline over here at Big Mama’s is the timeout. It seems to be the most effective punishment because Caroline doesn’t like being separated from the action. So when she’s in the middle of a fit or isn’t listening to me for the 85th time that day, I send her to timeout.

    She has a little chair in her room that serves as the timeout chair and she’ll go in there and sit. She also likes to spit while she’s in timeout…oh yeah, and yell “Mama, when can I get out of timeout?”, “MAMA!!! I want to be done with timeout!”

    So I came up with the idea of buying a kitchen timer to place next to the timeout chair. I set it for however long I think the misdeed warrants, usually 3 minutes because that’s what the SuperNanny says, one minute for each year. True confession, sometimes I set it for five because I need the extra 2 minutes to keep my head from exploding.

    Caroline knows that the timer is set and I don’t want to hear ONE WORD from her until that timer goes off. When it does, I go in there and we hug it out. It works for me!

  • Pearls of wisdom

    Two pieces of parental wisdom that I have shared with Caroline this week:

    1. She came out of her playroom with her toy gun and said “Mama, I’m shooting you” and I said “Oh no sweetie, we don’t shoot people. We just shoot things like birds and dogs.” Um, yeah…that’s what I said. P. said it might be one of the most redneck sounding life lessons he’s ever heard.

    Before you report me to the Humane Society or CPS, please know that I was really tired and in my mind I was thinking birds such as quail or dove because her daddy is a hunter. As for dogs…I don’t know where that came from, but I made sure I told her later that you don’t shoot dogs. We love dogs, we have two and I don’t want them shot.

    2. After bathtime she was dawdling around and I said “Get over here and let’s get your pajamas on!” She said, “but Mama, I have the toots.” I’m sure my reply is one that Emily Post completely left out,”Well you can walk and toot at the same time.” Isn’t motherhood really about teaching them important skills to help them through life?.

  • Lifestyles of the rich and famous

    I haven’t told y’all yet about my celebrity sighting this summer. Let me just say that prior to this summer, I have had two other celebrity encounters that proved that when faced with celebrity I choose to either ignore them or make a fool out of myself. Really, there’s no middle ground.

    My first celeb encounter was about 15 years ago in Omaha, Nebraska at a Red Carpet Inn. It was 2 a.m. and we had just arrived after a 14 hour drive through literally nothing (they aren’t kidding about the Kansas plains) for the College World Series. Big Roy, who is Gulley’s stepdad, had driven 7 college girls all the way to Nebraska to watch the Aggies play. He and I got in the elevator with the last of our luggage when I looked up and realized that Steven Tyler of Aerosmith was on the elevator with us. He was wearing a dog collar and purple velvet zebra pants. Big Roy had no idea who he was and I completely ignored him. One of my lifelong regrets will be that I didn’t sing at least one line of Love in an Elevator.

    My next encounter was walking out of a neighborhood restaurant and seeing Tommy Lee Jones. Because I am so astute, my first thought was that he looked familiar. P. is in youth ministry so we know a lot of parents and I thought he was somebody’s dad. So I say really loud and friendly, “Hey, how’re you doing?” and he…well, he completely ignored me. Two seconds later it dawned on me that he might have looked familiar because well, he’s Tommy Lee Jones. I’ve only seen Lonesome Dove and Coalminer’s Daughter each about 40 times.

    So, that brings me to this summer. Gulley and I were at the pool with the kids who were jumping off the diving board. She starts to head back to the baby pool with her boys and then all of a sudden I see her walking quickly back towards me with purpose. She says in a loud whisper, “I think Charlie Robison is here with his little boy. Go look.” Being the good mom that I am, I make Caroline quit jumping off the board so I can go verify that Charlie is indeed at the pool. No doubt about it, it’s Charlie.

    Now, some of you are probably thinking who is Charlie Robison? Well, he’s a Texas musician who makes great music but has never gained Nashville type fame, but to us he’s a genuine celebrity. Oh, and by the way, he is also the husband of Emily Robison, the Dixie Chick.

    I know that the Dixie Chicks have become controversial, but y’all I love their music. Cowboy Take Me Away will always be one of my favorites and Lullaby off their new C.D. is really one of the sweetest songs ever. Emily has always been my favorite because she seems so down to earth, we were pregnant at the same time, and I like to think that maybe she thought Natalie should have kept her mouth shut. This is my own personal fantasyland that I’m living in so I can make up whatever I want.

    Back to my story…I tell Gulley that yes, it is Charlie and we’re all excited wondering if we might see Emily at some point. P. shows up about that time and tells me that if I’m about to make a fool out of myself that maybe I need to leave. I assure him that I will be the picture of calm and cool.

    For the next week, Charlie walks into the pool with his little boy everyday wearing a big, straw cowboy hat and carrying a huge Nike gym bag. Then one day, it happened. Gulley and I were in the pool with the kids when I looked up and there she was…Emily. You’d have never known it was her because she looked like every other mom there in her black Gap coverup, visor and hair pulled up in a ponytail. But y’all we knew, because we had been eyeing Charlie all week long waiting to see if Emily was going to show.

    True confession, I had even gone on their website to see if she was on tour or at home.

    We didn’t say anything to her because I figured she’d be back again another day and we could strike up a conversation that would lead to lifelong friendship then. I imagined being featured with her in People as “here’s Dixie Chick Emily Robison with gal pal Big Mama”.

    Sadly, she is now on tour (y’all know I checked) and hasn’t been back, but Charlie is there every day. Gulley even introduced herself to him a few weeks ago. So if you are looking at your People magazine and see “Charlie Robison with gal pal Gulley”, y’all can say y’all know the whole story.