Fashion

I feel like before I can write any further that I need to apologize to those of you who had no idea “Greased Lightning” is a dirty song. In fact, several of you seemed so surprised that I began to question whether or not I was right about the whole thing and wondered if maybe I’d just made it up in my head. So I went and googled the original lyrics from the movie and YEP, it’s dirty. I’m so glad my six-year-old mind didn’t comprehend all those words or I might have spent the rest of my life with a fear of cars. Or maybe I would have just been afraid to go anywhere near an auto mechanic shop. Maybe this whole thing explains a lot about Jesse James.

Anyway, the fact that I could have become someone who rides a bicycle or a horse everywhere isn’t important right now because I need you to prepare yourselves for today’s discussion of swimsuits. I know. You don’t want to think about it. Honestly, I don’t want to think about it. Especially since I’m sitting here eating a box of Four Cheese Cheez-Its while I write this. But it’s April and we all just gave a chunk of change to the government yesterday or are now facing jail time, so we might as well endure a little more pain and agony before the week is over.

And I don’t want to get on my soapbox, but I’m going to anyway. (Before I get on my soapbox, I just have to say that I watched “The Incredible Shrinking Woman” with Caroline the other night and I’d never noticed that a miniature Lily Tomlin actually stands on a soapbox while she lectures her family. Brilliant film-making.) If you have a child that swims in the summer who is not a strong swimmer, you need a swimsuit. No one wants to be the person who has to catch your kid off the diving board ten times in a row because you won’t cowgirl up like the rest of us and put on what is essentially lycra underwear. Put on some shorts, wear a swimskirt, buy a scuba suit, but don’t go to the pool with your young child if you’re not willing to get in the water. No one is going to talk about your thighs, but they will talk about the perfectly coiffed mom in full makeup who’s letting everyone else save their child from drowning.

Don’t hate me. I speak the truth in love. IN LOVE.

I have conducted an internet wide search for the best swimsuits. Some have underwire (thank you, Jesus) and some help hold your tummy in and some are just cute. You can choose what works for you according to your needs.

1. The suit with underwire (Let’s start at the top.)

I am a firm believer in the importance of underwire. Or maybe I should say I’m a saggy believer in the importance of underwire. A few years ago, I discovered a site called Aerin Rose and became a big fan because every top is sized just like a bra. And comes with underwire, just like a bra.

Everything is sold as separates so you can choose a tankini top, a bikini top in several different styles, a one-piece, and various bottom options.

There is also a brand called Sunsets that are sold as separates and offer a variety of top and bottom styles. I’m particularly in love with the Metro pattern and am seriously considering the twist tankini top version for myself. Although I really like the emerald and the cobalt, too.

Last year I ordered a suit from Athleta and have been really pleased with it. They have several different underwire options, including this darling batik print.

I also love this top in a tropical print by Tommy Bahama and Victoria’s Secret always has some good underwire options although their models might cause you to fall into a deep depression and vow to put away the Cheez-Its.

2. The suit that performs miracles

Behold the Miraclesuit.

It promises to make you look ten pounds lighter in ten seconds. Which is the total opposite of what eating a box of Cheez-Its can claim.

The Miraclesuit comes in a variety of cute styles.

But while we’re discussing miracles, I have to talk about the Lands End swimsuits. They have so many different suits that offer all manner of support and suck innage qualities.

And then there is this one-shouldered number that Sophie and I discussed on the phone yesterday. We agreed that it’s very Betty Draper. And while it’s normally not a good idea to go through life asking “What would Betty Draper do?”, it’s a question that works when it comes to fashion.

Yes. Suck innage is a real word.

3. The suit that’s just cute

There are some people who just enjoy a cute suit and get to choose it based on the fun pattern or whimsical details. They aren’t worried about support or what have you. I call those people the ones who haven’t hit puberty yet.

Oh I kid. They could be the ones who get up and do stuff like bootcamp or dance at halftime for the Dallas Cowboys.

But if I were one of those people, I would choose a suit like this one from Lucky Brand. Or maybe even the tankini version.

There are so many cute suits to choose from. I don’t know how I’d decide.

So I guess it’s a good thing that I am limited by a need for underwire and suck innage qualities.

The Cheez-Its have totally paid off.

Next week I’ll discuss cover-ups and other swim accessories.

Y’all have a great Friday.

I really can’t thank you enough for answering so many of my questions yesterday. Sometimes a girl just needs some input on important things like hair color and underwire.

You’ll be glad to know (That’s probably overstating it. Chances are good you’re not really going to care one way or the other.) that I’ve decided to get the jeans hemmed to wear with flats and flip-flops. It seems like the right choice given the time of year and the fact that I have a few other pairs of jeans that I can wear with heels. Plus they were only $30.

(For those of you who asked, I found them at a boutique that was going out of business and bought the last pair in my size. Trust me, I tried with all my might to be a different size in order to acquire more bargain-priced jeans but my efforts proved fruitless. And kind of painful.)

I also downloaded a few new apps for my phone and have reconciled that I might have to sacrifice some wrinkle prevention in favor of some color on my face this summer.

The turkey is still in the back yard.

Mocking me.

Anyway, it was a little hard to come up with material for today’s Fashion Friday because I am in the midst of a full-blown obsession. FULL-BLOWN.

About a week ago, I decided that I might want to paint my kitchen a kicky shade of turquoise. I can’t really explain why, but it just feels right in my soul. I waited a few days to mention it to anyone because I thought the feeling might pass. However, my obsession only grew and I found myself googling “turquoise rooms” and looking at paint chips. Then, last night, I mentioned it to Sophie and she told me I had her full support for Project Turquoise.

And then I mentioned it to P and he asked if I was going to hang some neon beer signs in the kitchen, convert one of the windows to a drive-through, and start serving bean and cheese tacos.

He is hilarious.

My thought is that it’s just paint. If I hate it then I can paint over it and laugh about that one time I was dumb enough to think I wanted a turquoise kitchen. I’ll keep you posted on the matter. And if you happen to know a great shade of turquoise paint that says “Tasteful and trendy” as opposed to “Bean and Cheese Tacos only 99 Cents”, please let me know.

I’m envisioning something along these lines.

Okay, other than turquoise paint chips, here are a few great things I’ve seen this week.

1. Flowing Tiers Tank

I know not everyone is a fan of the ruffled tank thing, but this one is so cute that you might change your mind. It’s thirty-one flavors of adorable.

2. Linen-blend Boyfriend Shirt

The website says that these shirts are $24.50, but they’re on sale in the stores for $12.00 and they come in a delightful array of colors, including turquoise. It’s the perfect shirt to wear alone or to layer over a tank top.

3. Big Buddha Bag

Sam Moon, the home of cheap jewelry, is now selling Big Buddha handbags. I’m a big fan of the Big Buddha bags and really love this one, but don’t know if I’m really meant to own a white bag. It feels a little bit like tempting fate to rain down cherry-colored Kool-Aid.

4. One Shoulder Side Ruffle Dress

I don’t have anywhere to wear this dress, but maybe you do.

5. Floral Appliqued Knit Tee

I also love this knit top with rosettes in the black or the yellow.

The only thing better than a comfortable t-shirt is a comfortable t-shirt with a little something extra.

6. Pewter Sandals

I realized the other day that I have a few outfits that could really benefit from a pair of cute shoes in the silver/pewter/metallic category. I have some silver flip-flops, but I wanted something with a heel. My chances of finding what I was looking for didn’t seem great because I figured most heeled shoes in the silver family would be dressier than what I wanted. But I was wrong.

Pewter/silver/metallic shoes are everywhere. It’s a shoe revolution and I almost missed it.

I love these wedge sandals

And these sandals are really pretty if I didn’t need something with a heel. They’d look great with summer dresses though.

7. Bamboo Shoes

Speaking of something that would look cute with summer dresses and really anything else, I love these flip-flops by Bamboo. Best of all, they’re only $20.00 and come in a wide variety of colors.

You’ll notice that I featured the turquoise.

Shocking.

Y’all have a great Friday.

It’s Day Three of Typhoid Watch 2010 and I’m not really any better. There was one point yesterday afternoon that some sort of front blew through and I turned into a human barometer. The pressure in my head was unbelievable and had it not been for a Route 44 Diet Coke from Sonic and three Motrin, I’m not sure I would have lived to tell about it.

Yes, I should probably go to the doctor, but what if he gave me antibiotics to make me feel better? What would I complain about then? And how am I supposed to make a list for Fashion Friday if I’m busy getting medical attention?

It’s about priorities. I have them.

But this will still be the briefest post in Fashion Friday history. I just don’t have the strength to ramble.

1. Women’s slub knit tiered skirts

Old Navy has their skirts on sale for $15.00. A total bargain.

The weather here has been gorgeous all week and it’s reminded me how much I love to be able to just throw on a skirt and a t-shirt during the warm/boiling hot months. Especially a skirt that only costs $15.00.

2. Orange and grey flower pin

I am in love with the flower pin. I saw this one on Etsy the other day and thought it was the perfect thing to add a little zip to a plain t-shirt. And when it comes to plain t-shirts, my personal favorite is the Timeless crewneck tee because they don’t shrink or fade. I still wear one that I bought five years ago.

Oh, and if the flower pin isn’t your thing, then you might like this poppy necklace. How cute is that?

3. Bordeaux Katherine top

Remember last week when I mentioned that lace tops were in for Spring? I think this one would look so cute with jeans or dressed up with black pants or a skirt.

4. Textured circle necklace

Because accessories make everything better.

5. Crinkle flower t-strap sandal

I guess this year is the year of the flower. I love these sandals with the flower details.

And I also like these rhinestone thong sandals in silver.

6. Custom Chuck Taylors

Did you know you can design your own pair of Converse? How fun is that?

But if you don’t need the pressure of designing your own tennis shoes, then how about this Jack Purcell Gingham pair or this plaid pair?

7. Hand embroidered top

I am a big fan of Mexican embroidered tunics and tops for this time of year. So cute and fun.

8. Embellished scoopneck tank

I just think this is really pretty.

9. Rosette detail cardigan

While I love cardigans on other people, they just never seem to work for me. They make me feel like I’m playing dress up or something. I can’t explain it.

However, they are very in for Spring and I think this one is really pretty.

10. Beaded knit sheath dress

I love that this is a pretty dress, yet it’s still just a knit dress. I think it would look so pretty with the silver sandals that I mentioned earlier.

I also really like this applique jersey t-shirt dress. Pretty and comfortable. What a concept.

That’s it for today.

Y’all have a great Friday.

For more fashion, you can visit Jo-Lynne. She’s talking about denim today.

Since several of you asked yesterday about which self tanner I use, I guess I should start by talking about self tanners. Because, let’s be honest, no matter what your dermatologist tells you, everything looks better with a tan. Sadly, everything doesn’t look better with wrinkles and skin cancer, so that leaves the self tanner option.

I know there are some expensive products on the market and I’m sure they are lovely and smell like pina coladas being served poolside by a cabana boy named Pablo. However, most of those are more than I’m willing to pay for a tan in a bottle unless I start selling my plasma as a side business to earn extra cash.

My go to self tanner is Neutrogena Build-A-Tan. I like the option of the gradual tan instead of just waking up VERY TAN one morning It allows me to regulate my color. I apply it two days in a row and then usually skip a day or two to make sure I don’t end up looking like the love child of Diana Ross and George Hamilton.

This year I’ve also decided to shake it up a bit and have been using Jergens Natural Glow Firming lotion on my legs. If it actually works then there’s a good chance that I might just start bathing in it every day for the rest of my life. I’m not sure that any actual firming is going on because if it was that easy then Jillian Michaels would be living on the street looking for a job, but it’s a scientific fact that a tan can hide a multitude of sins and the claims of firming make me feel better even it’s just a placebo effect.

As a bonus, I’m going to give you some self tanner advice from someone who has made some critical errors. Exfoliation is key. You’ve got to use the loofah to get rid of dead skin if you want a smooth, even finish. Also, put a little Vaseline or regular lotion on your knees, elbows, and ankles to avoid the dreaded dirty knees syndrome caused by the tanner caking around the drier skin on your knees. And, finally, sometimes you have to kiss some self tanner frogs to find your golden prince. My skin tends to be a little more olive, so what works for me may not work for you.

I have never been more thankful for a bit of faux tan than I was yesterday when I put on my black sleeveless dress to wear to the fashion show. My arms really aren’t summer ready and I mentally prepared myself that no matter what the day might bring I needed to avoid placing my arms directly by my sides at all time. Always crook your elbow. Always. Because it makes your arms look skinnier and doesn’t look awkward or unnatural at all. It just looks like you’re doing the robot.

The good news from the fashion show was that all the trends I mentioned last week were featured. I’m relieved that I don’t have to issue any sort of fashion retraction. Now that I’m armed with a wealth of knowledge, I’ll share the other five trends for Spring and Summer.

1. White

This applies to everything from the white shirt to the white jean. I’m a huge fan of the white shirt in all forms. However, I don’t really understand why everyone insists on making their white shirts so thin that you’re forced to wear another layer under it. I live in South Texas. I cannot wear two shirts all summer long without becoming angry and irritable.

That being said, I would make an exception for this Nanette Lepore Javanese blouse.

In the words of Stevie Wonder, isn’t she lovely? Too bad she’s so dang expensive.

Fortunately, there are less expensive alternatives. This pintucked tunic top is really cute and so is this floral applique v-neck tee. I also love this Heritage silk tiered blouse and this square neck crochet cami.

As for white jeans, I realize they aren’t for everyone but I found a really great pair last summer. The key to white jeans is that you can’t really go cheap. If you’re going to wear white on your bottom half and are over the age of fifteen, then you need to pay a little extra for a great fit. I love these bootcut white jeans by Citizens of Humanity.

Keep in mind that you can wear them with a longer tunic style top to eliminate your entire rear view being an expanse of white.

Of course if you have young children or, like me, can’t get through a meal without spilling something on yourself, you may want to skip the white trend altogether.

2. Safari/Tribal influences

Remember back when Banana Republic stores used to be designed to resemble the set of Land of the Lost? This is kind of like that. But please stay away from the sleestaks.

You can do anything from a beaded v-neck dress to a simple linen shirtdress.

It can also take on a bohemian look like this tunic.

I also like this tunic from Boden.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other stuff out there but it seems like a lot of work to find it right now.

3. The dress

There are a million different dress options right now. And that’s only a slight exaggeration.

This little silk solid tie-neck dress looks just like Spring to me.

But there are casual dresses, shirt dresses, floral dresses, and June Cleaver dresses.

If elected, I promise that there will be a dress in every pot.

4. Big, bold jewelry

The beautiful thing about jewelry, I mean other than the jewelry itself, is that you can find trendy, stylish pieces at any price point. There is nothing that can add a little pop to something tired and old in your closet like some great new accessories.

This turquoise statement necklace + me = True love 4ever.

But there are so many great pieces of jewelry to choose from. It’s an abundance of faux riches.

5. Delicate and lacy

There are so many gorgeous feminine things out there right now. I wish I could give them all a good home.

I’m especially in love with this lace dolman top.

But there’s only so much plasma one person can sell.

That’s it for Spring Trends. In fact, I’m so tired that I may be done with Fashion Fridays FOREVER.

Or at least until next week.

Y’all have a good Friday.

For a discussion about stripes for Spring, you can go visit Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife.

P.S. I also wanted to make sure that y’all know there is a group of Compassion bloggers in Kenya this week. I particularly loved this post from day one of the trip written by Ryan.

I’m over at my sister’s house right now babysitting my sweet nephew, Luke, while she gets a few things done. Like taking a shower and brushing her hair. I brought my computer because I thought it would be a great opportunity to work on Fashion Friday and it totally would have been if we had any idea how to get me on her wireless network.

I also managed to break her T.V. which is something I manage to do every time I visit. It really is a shame because it’s a very nice flat screen television that makes watching Regis and Kelly a delightful experience, but I have no idea how to work it and I always push the wrong button on one of the six remote controls.

And, while I’m making confessions, I’d also like to say that I have no idea how to work her baby swing. It says it swings eight different ways on fifteen different speeds, but how that actually happens is a mystery to me.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m here because Luke and I have been discussing all the trends for spring. He’s a little unsure if the striped look with a dinosaur emblem is going to take off.

But he’s positive that the hottest look for spring will be a sweet, sweet mullet.

His Uncle P will be so happy to hear this news because he was all about sporting a sweet mullet back in the late 80’s.

Sadly, I’ve only known him since he got rid of the party in the back.

The mullet isn’t for everyone though. So with that being said, here are a few other trends for spring.

1. Denim

Denim is everywhere right now. If the trend continues, it may just be a matter of time before we’re all back to wearing denim shirts paired with Santa Fe inspired wrap skirts with loafers and socks. Man, that was a good look.

But I’ve always been a fan of denim. There were about eight consecutive years of my life (okay, ten) where I always purchased some sort of denim dress and/or shirt.

And this year there are a plethora of denim items to choose from. Old Navy has a great dress and/or tunic made of denim’s stepsister, also known as chambray.

Gap also has a cute chambray drop-waist dress but it has some questionable pocket placement that may not work for everyone.

But there is still plenty of good denim to be had. There are so many great denim shirts that it makes me wish I’d saved one of the eighteen I used to own.

You could always go with a denim jacket. Or a fun skirt. Or (Jillian Michaels help me) denim leggings.

I hear they even make something from denim called jeans.

2. Neutral colors

Think soft shades of sand and taupe because that sounds better than beige.

I think this top from Nordstrom is so soft and pretty. It would be great paired with jeans or with nice pants and a jacket for a dressier look.

I love this dress even though I’d have to wear something under it. Or over it. And I also like this silk shirt and this ruffled tunic.

This outfit from Banana Republic really shows off how you can incorporate neutral pieces into your wardrobe without looking too plain and washed out.

And I’ve always been a huge fan of neutral colored shoes like these or these. They really elongate your legs and look great paired with dresses or skirts. But you can totally wear them with jeans, too. I don’t discriminate.

You may also want to find yourself a great neutral handbag. It will go with everything and eliminate the need to constantly switch purses. Not that I ever take the time to do that because what if I forget to move my wallet? Or worse, my lipstick?

3. Embellished tees

It all seems a little vague after the cold, wet winter we’ve had (Did you not see the five flakes of snow??) but if memory serves, it gets really hot here in the summer. And when it gets really hot there’s nothing better than just a nice cotton t-shirt or tank. Bonus points if it’s actually cute like this one from Boden.

You can go with something like this or this ruffled scoopneck tee. This one is really cute and I love this one from J.Crew.

Or if you’re a tank top kind of girl, there’s this petal trim tank, or a rosette tank, or this gorgeous garland tank.

4. Wedge heels

I seriously can’t count the ways that I love wedge heels. Maybe it’s a residual effect from a childhood spent wearing Yo-Yos or maybe it’s just because they come in so many cute variations like these from Piperlime.

And how about these darling ones in hot pink? Hello summer.

Love these colourblock wedges from Boden and that they’re British and spell color with a u. Speaking of color or colour, how cute are these bright orange ones?

This is totally off the subject, but does anyone have any thoughts on these?

I’m seeing these everywhere and I’m conflicted. On one hand, kind of cute. On the other hand, “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

So I’m torn.

5. Printed skirts

I think it was last summer that I declared it to be my summer of the skirt. The only problem was that I didn’t really have enough skirts to make it through the summer.

Oh but this year it’s going to be different because the skirts? They are plentiful.

I love this printed whirly skirt from Old Navy.

There are polka dot skirts, scenic skirts, and floral skirts.

There also happen to be some really cute plain skirts too. Nothing wrong with a little less is more.

Which is advice that would have served me well many, many words ago.

We’ll save the next five trends for next Friday. A sequel!

Y’all have a great week.