Fashion

Oh Ladies. There are some sisters out there crying out for some fashion help. And God love them, I don’t know that I’m the answer.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to pick up today. But here I go anyway.

Last week I watched “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style” on Bravo. I loved it. I love Tim Gunn and his innate sense of style and elegance. Plus, he gasped at the suggestion of leggings and teared up at the end of the show. What’s not to love?

Tim subscribes to the theory that every woman should have 10 essential pieces in her closet. And I kind of agree with that. However, I don’t necessarily agree on what those 10 pieces should be.

I don’t remember all 10 items, because I don’t remember most things that I heard over 3 hours ago, but here’s what I recall.

1. A great white shirt
2. A trenchcoat
3. A little black dress
4. A great pair of jeans
5. A sweatsuit alternative

And the last 5 I’m drawing a blank.

Obviously they were very important and relevant.

So, let’s start with the white shirt. I agree with him in theory. I see other women in white shirts and I think they look so crisp, so fabulous, so look-at-me-I-have-time-to-iron, but I am not one of those women. In fact, I saw this shirt at Ann Taylor and I adore it.

However, the dream sequence version of me in that shirt versus the real version, are two totally different things.

Dream Sequence Me = great hair day, crisp white shirt, laughing and talking with friends at a table in Starbucks

Real Me = I didn’t have time to iron this shirt, but I’ll wear it anyway because it’ll probably end up with a grape jelly stain on it within the next hour and why waste time ironing something that will need to be washed again anyway? Also, picture me tugging and pulling on the shirt, because that wrap feature that looks so cute on the model will either gape open or be pulled open by my child, exposing me to the free world.

I will confess that, over the years, my closet has seen many white shirts come and go. Each season I buy a new one, thinking surely this will be the one that will bring me lasting happiness. So far, they’ve all proved to be short term commitments. This season, I’m skipping the white shirt.

Moving on to the trenchcoat.

I love the look of a trenchcoat. It’s so polished and urban dweller-ish. Sleek and sophisticated. I love the idea of saying, “I’m walking out the door of my loft right now. Let me grab my trench coat.”

So, in short, not really a fit for my lifestyle. Plus, maybe it’s because I live in South Texas and we don’t have these things called “seasons”, but I haven’t really ever had the need for a trenchcoat. But if I did, this is the one I’d want.

Unfortunately, we don’t really have the disposable income for me to buy this coat because I like the idea of it.

But, may I propose the mama alternative to the trenchcoat is perhaps the sweater coat? Still cute, but a little more casual. And definitely more functional. Yet stylish.

Unless of course your trenchcoat includes all the handy features like the one worn by Inspector Gadget. In which case, carry on. (as Tim Gunn would say)

Next up, little black dress. I completely and totally agree. Every woman should have one nice black dress in her closet. If you find the right one, it can truly be an investment piece. Timeless and practical. It can take you from a funeral to a wedding. Even though if you’re from the South you were probably raised not to wear black to a wedding. Well girls, it’s a new day. If you want to wear black, wear black.

It’s so slimming.

Look at this dress.

You probably couldn’t wear this to a funeral. And really, y’all don’t want to know how much it costs. I just had to post it because I think it’s beautiful. Please know this dress in no way epitomizes what Tim Gunn probably means by a basic black dress. Think along more simple lines.

Like this.

It’s from Target and it’s $44.99.

I’m not even going to discuss jeans because, let’s face it, jeans are a hot, controversial topic. And because of that, jeans will get their very own post later in the week.

Which brings me to, Tim Gunn’s next item, the sweatsuit alternative. Wha??? I like my sweatsuit. Why do I need an alternative?

Truly, I was very interested to see what an alternative sweatsuit looked like. Would it have piercings and perhaps some hot pink streaks? Maybe a few tattoos?

Tim’s idea of an alternative sweatsuit was a cotton sundress with a sweater type thing thrown over it with some wedge heels. Honestly? It was dressier than what I wore to my last big social function.

And this is where I think the fashion world takes a huge misstep…well, other than gray jeans…isn’t there some kind of cute mama wardrobe that is easy and functional, yet doesn’t involve elastic waistbands?

I’m going to go out on a huge limb and say that women don’t really need a sweatsuit alternative, they need a sweatsuit. There is nothing wrong with wearing some comfortable athletic wear. Tim Gunn doesn’t understand that there are days when all you’re doing is going to the HEB, trying to manuever a gigantic red racecar, and doling out snacks to an angry toddler, while loading a 75 pound bag of dog food.

It’s not the time for an empire waist sundress. Find yourself a pair of yoga type pants and a cute track type jacket and go with it. Here’s an example based on my style preferences.

Now, if you’re still wearing any type of jogging pant that includes elastic at the ankles, may I suggest that you take a torch to those bad boys and get yourself to Oshmans to look for something a little more modern? Seriously, your circulatory system will thank you.

And no one understands the appeal of an out-of-date tracksuit more than me. My daddy wore a rust-colored, formerly velour, jogging suit up until the pants were at least 2 inches too short. He is a great dresser during the workday, but comfort is key for the weekend. However, ladies and gentleman, he is a cautionary tale of not letting comfort overrule basic common sense.

With that said, I will leave y’all to dwell on the sweatsuit alternative. I’d love to know if y’all have any thoughts on another solution. What do you wear on a daily basis? What’s the piece of your wardrobe you couldn’t live without?

And don’t worry, I’ll get to all the questions that have been raised. Before it’s all over we’ll delve into accessories, including the wide belt. As God is my witness, I won’t rest until our fashion issues have been put to rest.

In the last few weeks, I have received several emails from y’all asking my advice about some fashion issues, so I’ve decided to make this week “Fashion Week” at Big Mama. Each day I will address various fashion issues, so if there’s something you need to know, feel free to holla in the comments or shoot me an email.

Now, y’all may be asking what exactly qualifies me to write about fashion.

Well.

Absolutely nothing.

In fact, I hate to admit this, but last Tuesday I was grocery shopping when I realized I was still carrying my summer purse complete with white leather trim even though it was after Labor Day. And honestly, I tend to get a little judgemental about the whole no white after Labor Day thing but, at that moment in the HEB, I realized that first I must remove the white summer purse from my own shoulder before I judge the white shoes on someone else’s feet.

This led to a moment of repentance on the canned goods aisle.

And as soon as I got home, I removed the offending purse from my presence and switched to a proper fall bag.

Also, I feel a little funny giving out fashion tips because, honestly, on most days I am wearing some type of athletic type apparel which, truth be told, is more about comfort than my need to engage in any athletic type endeavor. Most days I am an episode of “What Not To Wear” waiting to happen.

But here’s the difference between me and those poor victims on the T.V. If someone dropped me within a 50 mile radius of a shopping center with $5,000 spending money, I would know how to spend it. I adore clothes. However, remember the $5,000 only buys the clothes, not the fabulous life to go along with all the clothes.

Being a mama is all about being practical sometimes. And as much as I love the way my jeans look when I wear them with boots with a 3 inch heel, it’s not necessarily the most practical playground look. No one will be admiring the added length of my legs if I’m curled up in the fetal position because I just sprained my ankle while attempting to traipse across the kiddie carpet mulch on the playground.

So, for those days on the playground, buy these.

Or these.

Or if you really want to go retro old school, these.

That being said, every woman needs a good pair of boots. They look great with everything and they are the perfect fall/winter shoe, in my opinion, because you can wear socks with them. Fashionable on the outside, warm and toasty on the inside.

And to address some of the boot wearing questions I’ve received, you can wear them under your jeans, over your jeans, with skirts, with dresses, and even (if you’re incredibly daring) with long shorts. They are the footwear gift that keeps giving.

Here are three different pairs of boots I love. They range in price, but not in style.

I mentioned these boots from Target in my Favorite Things last week. They are a great boot for the money. The nice thing is since they are suede (I’m guessing faux suede seeing as how they’re $36.99) they will look great under jeans, with skirts, or even with dress pants.

Now, I personally like more of a heel than this. I subscribe to the Posh Spice theory, which is that everyone looks better in a heel. Oh, the horror of finding yourself at a social function or being stopped by the police while wearing flats. But, if any of y’all want to be a little more practical and/or less concerned about adding height, this boot from Harold’s is a great example of a flat option. Pretty and practical.

And lastly, here are some boots from Banana Republic. I think these are beautiful. I giant heart them. The ones I love the most are called The Phoebe boot, but the computer powers that be over at the Banana kept thwarting my efforts to link to them specifically.

That is just one of a long list of my issues right now with The Gap, Inc. family of businesses. Why can’t I link directly? Why does my computer shut down every time I try to view these boots in Larger Image? Why does the Gap no longer sell attractive clothes but merely new versions of khaki pants in ill-fitting styles? What happened Gap? Where did you go wrong?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get off on a personal tangent.

Back to boots. Look how cute they make this outfit look.

Seriously, from ordinary to extraordinary and it’s all because of the boots.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I will discuss Tim Gunn, the white shirt, and the trench coat.

I know. It’s an abundance of riches.

***Edited to add: All tennis shoes are from the Nordstrom’s website. I don’t know why I didn’t link to them. That’s what happens when you stay up way too late thinking about fashion.

My dear readers, I received this email today and since I do like to keep my readers happy I will do my best to fulfill this request.

Dear Big Mama,
Can you please help some of us lesser fashionistas through this season’s
scary fashions on your blog? I know you write what comes to you, but I am
totally distressed by my August issue of InStyle. I believe you have already
covered the skinny jean. But no one else seems bothered by the resurgence of
the suspender, the jeans tucked into boots, the mini mini dresses, or the
pencil skirt. I am totally bothered by these fashions and have found myself
so overwrought I am needing direction. I am betting so do many other of your
readers.
Love,
Gulley
PS – Consider this your first, “From our readers”

Let me first say how excited I was to get an email from a faithful reader, especially one that I had just gotten off the phone with not 10 minutes before I received this request.

Now before y’all get all excited about getting some fall fashion tips from me (apparently I’m a “greater” fashionista) let me tell you what qualifies me to give fashion advice…not necessarily anything. However, for most of my life I have been known to meticulously plan out my outfit for any given occasion. All of my college girlfriends will tell you that my first question upon learning of any event is “What am I going to wear?” I promise that if the White House called tomorrow to tell me that I had been elected President of the United States, my first thought would be “Oh my good gracious, what on earth will I wear to the inaugural ball?” I will not argue with you if you are now questioning my depth as a human being.

First and foremost, I will refer you to my friend Boomama who did a brilliant job of detailing her fear of this 80’s fashion resurgence. Boomama knows that anyone who lived through the 80’s will not be quick to jump back into that train wreck.

So without further ado, I hope to shed a little light, insight and wisdom into this perilous fashion landscape.

As Moms (which I’m assuming most of us are) the best thing you can do for yourself is to get yourself a good stylish pair of jeans. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT purchase any pair of jeans with a waistband that is above your belly button. You don’t have to be Britney Spears and have it all hanging out, but give your figure a fighting chance and create a longer line with a lower waist.

Now y’all know I’m not going to recommend the skinny leg because I like all of you very much. What I will suggest is maybe a smaller bootcut or even a straight leg jean with a little bit of stretch. I bought a pair of 7 jeans last spring and while they were pricey they were worth every penny. I’ll give you a money saving tip if you want some pricier jeans, go try them on at the department stores or trendy boutiques, figure out your size and look for them on Ebay. Ebay will be your best friend if you’re trying to save some money.

If you want an up to the minute look to wear with your great jeans, you can’t go wrong with a feminine frilly blouse. That’s right, I just said blouse for lack of a better term. A silk type blouse with some ruffles or lace detail is perfect with jeans for a night out. And Clinton and Stacy know what they’re talking about when they suggest a structured jacket. It’s a great look with jeans and looks great on everyone.

For those of us in our 30’s, I think that it’s important to know when to say when. I personally wore miniskirts with leggings twenty years ago and won’t be going back. However, I do think a pair of leggings with a pretty knit tunic type top and some flats would be a nice, practical outfit. Do not think that when I say flats I’m talking about those hideous faux leather things that we all wore (y’all know you did). I’m thinking of a fun leopard print or something with some cute details.

If you’re looking for a new bag, think soft and unstructured (kind of like this post). A metallic one or a really pretty brown would be super trendy and I’ll tell you the great thing about this season’s bags, you can get one at Target that looks the same as one you can buy at Neimans (sorry Hite, but it’s true). They are unidentifiable, no logos or name brands to worry about.

For great pieces to update your wardrobe, Target is the place to go. Target is to the year 2006, what Contempo Casuals (how about it Birthday Club?) was to 1987. You can find fun, trendy things including cute jeans, tops, structured jackets and shoes at low, low prices.

As far as the suspenders that were mentioned in the email…unless pregnancy was kinder to y’all than it was to me, I’m thinking that suspenders just don’t really work anymore. Leave them at the store with the micro minis.

A few more tips (I know, it’s like manna from heaven) red accessories are totally in right now and charcoal gray is the new black. Black is also the new black, so see you have options.

Just remember, you can wear jeans tucked into your boots if it looks good on you. You can wear a miniskirt (just not too short and preferably with opaque tights which are also very in this season) if you feel comfortable, or you can say to heck with it and wear big sweatshirts and yoga pants everyday. That’s the beauty of living through these fashions for the second time, we can take what we want and leave the rest. It’s the wisdom that comes from no longer being in your teens and early twenties. We are free from the peer pressure to encase ourselves in anything that has acid in the name and we can sleep peacefully without the crunching of crispy, Aquanet bangs on our pillow.

For those of you who receive the J.Crew catalog, please refer to page 39. I believe you will find what we refer to as pinchrolling happening to a pair of jeans.