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Well I really thought that our podcast streak would end now that summer is over. But Sophie and I are apparently serious about this whole consistency thing.

For now.

I can’t really guarantee that it will last because our track record for such things isn’t the best. Which is one of the topics we discuss in this episode. We also have some thoughts on the VMA’s, Ben Affleck, college football and why we enjoy potato chips more in the summer. It’s pretty much like listening to CNN.

And in the interest of providing you with a thorough podcast experience, here’s the Taylor Swift / JLo video that I mention, and here’s the Kristen Chenoweth video that Sophie talks about.

You can click here to listen. Or here. Or, as always, you can subscribe on iTunes if you’re feeling particularly fancy.

You guys.

I have a fifth grader.

I realize this isn’t necessarily breaking news to most of you and certainly shouldn’t come as a shock to me, but it hit me loud and clear yesterday morning as I took the obligatory first day of school pictures of Caroline.

That does not look remotely like this picture taken on the first day of Kindergarten.

All of a sudden I have a ten year old with long legs and size six feet and no sign of baby fat on her face. She’s one of the big kids at her school now. And that all sunk in as I walked away from dropping her off at her classroom yesterday morning. This is our last year of elementary school. Next year she’ll be walking into junior high.

As you can imagine I was totally emotionally stable once I reached the safety of my car and let the full weight of that sink in. I’m sure none of the other parents felt frightened at all if they happened to look my direction.

Fortunately she was nothing but thrilled at the realization that she’s the king of the hill this year and jumped out of the car with an emphatic “Let’s do this!”. I could tell she got a little nervous as we walked in her new classroom, but she seemed to be okay once a few friends began to filter in.

(Side note before you all ask about her bangs: She still loves them. She just chose to wear them pulled back in a headband for the first day of school because she doesn’t care that her mother might have wanted proper documentation of the current state of her hair. We also had to braid her hair the night before so it would be wavy. Heaven help me if she ever discovers the 80’s wonder known as the waffle iron.)

After I regained my composure, I went to Smart Barre. For the first time since June. And then I cried some more. But not from emotion, from pain. At one point we had to do that loathsome chair sit move with a ball between our legs until I thought I was going to pass out. The only thing that got me through was imagining myself hurling that ball right at our instructor like I was Ben Stiller in Dodgeball.

The rest of the day I ran errands and other various things until it was time to pick Caroline up from school. The carpool line was filled with approximately all 1,000 parents whose children attend our school, including at least 300 first grade parents who had no idea how the carpool line actually works.

But eventually Caroline hopped in the car and announced it had been a great day. And that’s when I got the bad news.

She forgot her new lunchbox at school. Her new lunchbox. With her new thermos. That’s full of meat juice remains.

I can only hope for the sake of her teacher and fellow classmates that she put the thermos lid back on tight. Otherwise there is going to be a “smell” situation in that classroom tomorrow.

And see how in just twenty-four hours you can feel like you should have just let your child take their lunch in a brown bag?

The thing about a brown bag is you can throw it away and not worry about bleaching the two day old meat juice smell out of it.

Live and learn.

After the announcement of the sorrowful lunchbox news, we stopped by Mimi and Bops’s house to fill them in on the day and then met Gulley and her boys at Baskin-Robbins for ice cream. This wasn’t an original idea. Every child in our zip code was also enjoying ice cream as a delicious back to school treat. Which is why I felt completely justified in getting myself a scoop of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream as a reward for waiting in that line. Between that and my morning at Smart Barre, I’d more than earned it.

And the nicest part of the day was when I looked up and realized that my sweet baby may be a sophisticated fifth grader, but it doesn’t mean she’s figured out how to eat ice cream without making a mess.

So it’s the first day of fifth grade at our house.

Actually, it’s the night before the first day of fifth grade, but by the time most of you read this, Caroline will be sitting in her classroom writing her name on all her new school supplies.

The good news is that getting to bed at a decent hour wasn’t an issue like it’s been in the past because Caroline played in a soccer tournament all weekend. We had to set the alarm for 6:15 a.m. on Saturday morning and I will tell you that it wasn’t a kind and gentle re-entry to the real world. There was wailing and whining and cries of “WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?” And Caroline wasn’t that happy either.

(That’s not true. She was ecstatic to play soccer and leapt out of bed. I blame her father’s DNA.)

We were at the soccer fields way across town by 8:00 a.m. I didn’t even have time to drink a cup of coffee. Which is why my first order of business, after getting Caroline settled with her team and leaving P to set up our tent and chairs, was to find a Diet Coke. And a breakfast taco.

Let me tell you about morning sporting events in San Antonio. There are almost always breakfast tacos available for purchase. I find it to be a very civilized way to live.

Caroline’s team tied the first game and then we had to wait almost three hours between games. By the time they lost their second game and we got in the car to head home it was almost 2:00 p.m. The thermometer in the car read 126 degrees. You know when Dorothy throws water on the Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz and she shrieks, “I’m melting! I’m melting!”? That witch had it good compared to my situation.

Sadly, when we got home I realized we needed some things from the grocery store. So I got back in the car and ran to HEB before I lost my will to grocery shop. Or live. And this is where I need to issue an apology to everyone in that HEB on Saturday at 3:30 p.m. That smell was me.

I unpacked the groceries and headed straight to the shower, put on my pajamas and got on the couch. And that is where I remained until 9:05 p.m. at which time I went to bed. Ironically, Caroline said she didn’t feel tired at all. Which kind of makes me feel like a loser considering she’s the one that actually played soccer for two solid hours in the blazing heat while I drank Diet Coke under a shade tent.

On Sunday morning we had one more soccer game so we drove back across town to sweat some more. But before we left the house, I cut up onions and carrots and put a roast in the crockpot so we could have a delicious back- to-school dinner waiting for us later that evening. I have never felt more “I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR”.

(I’m sure the feeling of accomplishment that comes with putting a roast in the crockpot was exactly what the feminist movement was aiming for.)

Anyway, the girls played so hard, but ended up tying the final game and were eliminated from the tournament so we were back home by noon. And as soon as we walked in the house Caroline asked, “What’s that terrible smell? It smells awful in here.”

P replied, “That’s your dinner cooking.”

Sadly, it was the truth. But it didn’t really smell bad. It just smelled like meat and onions cooking in the middle of the day after you’ve been out in the heat and not the usual smell of our house.

(I don’t know what our usual house smell is but you know it has one. All houses have a smell.)

(And now I feel like the word “smell” sounds weird.)

The rest of the day we just relaxed and figured out what Caroline was going to wear for the first day of school until it was almost time for dinner. I had been relieved of all my roast insecurities after taking a quick taste test and decided it was a good time to pull out Caroline’s school bag and lunchbox so we’d be ready for the morning. The only problem was I couldn’t find her lunchbox. We’d bought a new one right at the end of last school year and Caroline told me that she was perfectly happy to just use that one since it was practically brand new. So I put it away somewhere for the summer. If you could tell me where “somewhere” is, I’d give you fives of dollars in cold, hard American cash.

It was nowhere to be found. There is no one that can hide things in a more obscure place than me. I once lost an entire Nativity scene. How is that even possible?

Caroline and P helped me look but, alas, our efforts were for naught. Caroline announced that she could just bring her lunch in a brown bag. And I decided we just needed to sit down and eat dinner before it got cold. After all, I’d slaved over that roast for five minutes.

For all her concerns about the smell, Caroline pronounced the roast as “heaven on earth” and asked if she could take the leftovers for lunch. Then she said it wasn’t so much the meat she cared about, but the “meat juice”. She asked if she could just take the “meat juice” (some people call it gravy) to school in a thermos.

And that’s when I knew I was going to have to drive to Target after dinner to buy her a new lunchbox. Because I just felt like it would be a new low to send my child to the first day of fifth grade with a thermos full of “meat juice” in a brown paper bag.

I had visions of every other little girl in her class opening up their monogrammed lunchboxes with sandwiches cut to look like butterflies while Caroline ripped open her brown bag and slurped up some “meat juice”.

There are so many things as a mother that you can’t control. I feel like the first day of school is such a reminder of that. You hope they make new friends, you hope they’ll remember to be kind to everyone, you hope they remember their good manners. You can beat all those drums loudly every chance you get, but ultimately they have to figure it all out for themselves once they walk through the doors of that school.

But you know what you can control?

Not sending your baby to school with a thermos full of “meat juice” in a brown paper bag on the first day of school.

Which is why I was in the lunchbox aisle at Target at 8:00 p.m.

Well I woke up yesterday morning and my left eye was twitching. And it has continued to twitch all day long. I don’t know what has gone awry but nothing makes you feel like people might think you’re a tad crazy than when you’re trying to have a conversation and your eye keeps twitching.

My friend Michelle said it was from lack of sleep and that could very well be the case. However, given that I woke up at the crack of 10:30 yesterday morning, I don’t know that it applies to my situation.

Here’s hoping it gets better soon. Otherwise I feel like it has the potential to become a little Edgar Allan Poe Tell-Tale Heart around here.

But enough about my eye.

1. chambray western shirt

I tried this on in Nordstrom on Wednesday and really liked it. It’s a great color, a good length, and fitted enough that it doesn’t look frumpy. I will tell you that you should probably order it a size up from your normal size.

I know I keep saying this but a chambray shirt is a stable. You can wear it with colored jeans, a maxi skirt, black pants, over a cute dress to transition it into fall. It will be the most versatile piece in your closet.

2. cross my heart sweater

This is another thing I tried on the other night and I will tell you the pictures don’t do it justice. It is so unbelievably soft and is a great length to wear with skinny jeans. I think I’d wear it all winter long.

3. disco boot

Here’s what I finally figured out about the bootie. I personally like the ones that have some sort of buckle or more of a western look. I know some people may prefer the more streamlined boot-shoe look (shootie) and I think they look darling on others. (I also feel this way about flats)

But, as for me, without a buckle or some other something they remind me too much of the suede booties I wore in 9th grade with a long green sweater skirt outfit I bought from 5*7*9.

(I didn’t know those stores still existed but I just googled it and there’s one here in San Antonio. I had no idea.)

4. autumn’s calling coat

This is going to be the year to have a cute, colorful coat. I love the style of this one but I can’t wear anything orange in the fall because of college football.

5. safari times cardigan

I am aware that this picture is miniscule but did I mention that my eye is twitching? I’m doing the best I can.

Anyway, I love this sweater coat. It would look great with jeans and boots.

6. fuschia knot maternity dress

Okay, so several people have emailed to request that I do a maternity version of Fashion Friday. Which is great except I’m not pregnant and don’t really care to look at maternity clothes.

However, this is the dress that Princess Kate is wearing in that darling picture her daddy took of her and William with baby George and the dogs in the backyard. And it’s only $79.

If I were pregnant I’d buy three of these in assorted colors and call it good.

7. crinkled maxi skirt

I linked to this skirt earlier in the summer and several of you emailed to tell me how much you love it. It’s a forgiving maxi skirt that doesn’t require special undergarments. Best of all, it’s now 40% off and is only $46.80.

It also comes in black or coral.

8. circle chandelier drop earring

I think these are pretty.

9. ruched sleeve cardigan

Okay, another Nordstrom item. I saw a whole rack of these the other night and loved all the colors.

10. factory quilted puffer vest

Lately I’ve pinned several outfits on Pinterest that require a puffer vest. I really like this one. And you can get an extra 30% off with the code SALE30 at checkout.

That’s it for today.

Have a good Friday.

When you were in high school did you ever get a plain white Fruit of the Loom t-shirt, splatter paint all over it, and then write all kinds of random things on it with puffy paint pens?

This post is pretty much going to be like that. A big mess and all over the place because I guess the hallmark of the last week of summer is that my brain is all over the place.

(Sidenote: I realize that unless you went to high school in the late 80’s you probably never made a shirt like this. My friend Jodi and I made many of them, including special ones that we wore the last day of our senior year. I don’t even know.)

(Also, we thought it was hilarious that we drove her dad’s truck, complete with a camper, that same day.)

(All I can offer by way of explanation was that this was during the same decade people regularly posed for portraits with a large wicker throne-like chair.)

Anyway, last night was one of those nights where I just couldn’t sleep. I had a million thoughts running through my brain, none of which were actually productive. And when I finally dozed off I dreamed that I decided to try Bikram Yoga for the first time. In case you don’t know, Bikram Yoga is that hot yoga where they keep the room at 100 degrees while you stretch and kick and do downward dog or whatever.

In my dream I walked in the room and began doing the stretches to the best of my ability and then a siren went off and the instructor announced it was to let us know that the world was ending. Which, given my distaste for extreme heat, seems about right. Now I feel completely justified in never trying hot yoga because what if that dream was a warning? I feel like it’s become my duty to avoid hot yoga to protect the world.

I can’t apologize enough for reaching the point where I’m telling you about my dreams. Because you know what no one ever says? “Please tell me what you dreamed last night. It will be so fascinating.”

In non-dream events, I spent most of the day cleaning out Caroline’s clothes in an attempt to create some sort of organization before school starts and we have to come up with a daily wardrobe. It’s a rare day that she doesn’t just throw on running shorts and a t-shirt, but I felt like it was time to weed out our t-shirt inventory because some of them were starting to veer into dust rag territory.

Later on I dropped Caroline off at soccer practice and went to meet Gulley and Leslie to do a little shopping for new jeans. We spent the better part of three hours shopping. Gulley bought a cute jacket, I bought a pair of booties, and Leslie didn’t find anything. None of us bought jeans. Which was the original reason we ventured out. But sometimes you have to kiss a lot of denim frogs to find your prince.

Then I came home and turned on Friends. And it was the lobster episode. “He’s her lobster!” I don’t know that I could pick just one episode as my favorite, but that one is close to the top.

Oh and one last thing before I (thankfully) wrap this up.

Caroline’s sweet friend Sadie came over Tuesday night to hang out and eat dinner. They’ve been friends pretty much since birth. In fact, I found this precious picture of the two of them the other day. They were about four.

And this was them on Tuesday night.

It makes my heart happy because there’s nothing like a forever friend. They’re each other’s lobster.

Most of yesterday was spent anxiously awaiting our letter from the school informing us who Caroline’s teacher will be this year. And I’m happy to report it was good news. She’s thrilled with her teacher and even happier that several of her friends are in the same class. Now I can breathe a sigh of relief that our biggest worry on the first day of school will be which pair of running shorts she’ll want to wear.

I also feel like I should admit I spent a chunk of yesterday watching Scandal episodes with Gulley.

Why, yes, I did just watch every episode earlier this summer, but Gulley is now watching them for the first time and apparently I am codependent when it comes to television. It’s so much more fun now that we can analyze each episode.

But it wasn’t all fun and games and Olivia Pope because I did manage to make an impressive trip to HEB where I stocked up on all manner of dinner items and things that I’m hoping Caroline might actually like to see in her lunchbox next week.

Which explains why I’m so tired. Between President Grant and all his shenanigans and trying to crack the fifth grade lunch code, I used a lot of brain power. So here are just a few things I’ve been wanting to tell you about:

1. Sacred Secrets

This is a new Bible study by Beth Moore. It’s not as intensive as some of her other studies, but I’ve heard that it is great. Perfect for a small group or even for you to do by yourself.

And speaking of Beth Moore, there’s a Living Proof Live Simulcast coming up on September 14th. You can find out more information and host locations by clicking here. And there’s even an option to watch it by yourself in the privacy of your own home.

If you happen to be in San Antonio, my home church is one of the host sites. You can click here for more info or to register.

2. The Walking In Between

I listen to music while I write. I know some people may find that weird, but it helps my mind work better. And when I was writing Sparkly Green Earrings I listened almost exclusively to a mix of Andrew Peterson and Ben Rector. I cannot express how much I love their music.

So I’m super excited that Ben Rector has a brand new album out. I may not have a chair at Starbucks, but I’ll have some great music to listen to once I find a new writing home and figure out what my next book is going to be about.

3. Speak Love: Making Your Words Matter

My friend Annie Downs has a new book out. And what could be better for your teenage girl than a book about the importance of our words and speaking love to those around us. It would be a great gift for your daughter or granddaughter or any special girl in your life.

4. Pop Classic Boy and Girl Professional Glitter Tattoo Kit

Speaking of girls, Caroline got this Glimmer Art kit for her birthday and it’s been a huge hit. What’s better than a glittery tattoo?

NOTHING.

5. Food

So I mentioned I went to the grocery store. I’m trying to come up with all manner of great breakfast and lunch ideas and would love if you’d share some of yours in the comments. Please don’t include anything with quinoa because it probably isn’t going to happen around here. But I’d love to know if you have any family favorites that are crowd pleasers.

Also, if you make your kids sandwiches that look like the Minions from Despicable Me? You might want to keep that to yourself. I don’t need that hit today.

Here are two things I’ve found that actually get eaten. For breakfast, these bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches wrapped in crescent rolls are delicious.

For lunch, I packed this Prairie Sushi (aka tortilla rollups) until Caroline begged me for just a normal sandwich. Whatever. Some people have no appreciation for a lovely presentation.

And that’s it for me today. Hope you have a great Wednesday.