Month: December 2009

  • Soup is better than geometry

    Last night we went and picked out our Christmas tree. I don’t mean to exaggerate but it may be the best tree in the history of all our Christmas trees. To be honest, I’m a little intimidated to decorate it because I feel that my decorating abilities may be less than a tree of this magnitude deserves. I’d show you a picture of it in all its undecorated glory, but that would involve getting up off this warm couch to find my camera.

    Every year at the tree lot, P and I engage in a lively discussion over what size tree we should buy. This is largely due to the fact that twelve years ago when we bought our first tree for this house, it was so big that we couldn’t get it through our front door. In my defense, I was just very enthusiastic about our nine foot ceilings and how they meant we could buy a tall tree. What I failed to factor in was a little thing called circumference. Geometry was never really my strongest subject.

    I’m not even sure that circumference has anything to do with Geometry. Maybe I could write a seven step proof to figure it out. Oh wait, I forgot that there is NEVER another reason EVER in the history of your life to write a seven step proof once you barely pass Geometry.

    Anyway, I need to go make sure all my lights still work because I plan to spend the better part of the day wrapping this baby with a thousand points of light. I just hope I can make it proud.

    And I totally meant what I said yesterday about my intention to discuss a soup recipe. It’s been cold and rainy here all week (rumor has it we may have snow flurries on Friday which SURE WE WILL) so I’ve made all manner of soups and gumbos to help us through the long winter.

    This one has been my favorite of the week. Super easy and like a warm hug on a winter’s day.

    (If warm hugs were made of cheese tortellini.)

    Italian Sausage Tortellini Soup

    1 pound Italian sausage, casings removed (mild or spicy depending on your preference)
    1 large onion, chopped
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    5 cups beef stock
    1/3 cup water
    1/2 cup red wine
    28 oz. can peeled tomatoes, chopped
    4 carrots, chopped
    1/2 tsp. dried basil
    1/2 tsp. dried oregano
    8 oz. can tomato sauce
    3 zucchini, chopped
    8 ounces cheese tortellini
    1 green bell pepper, chopped
    1 tbs. chopped fresh parsley
    Grated parmesan cheese for topping

    Brown the sausage in a large pot. Drain all the grease except for 1 tablespoon, then add the onions and garlic and saute for 5 more minutes.

    Add the beef stock, water, wine, tomatoes, carrots, basil, oregano and tomato sauce. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer for 30 minutes.

    Add the zucchini, tortellini, green bell pepper and parsley. Simmer until tortellini is cooked (about 8-10 minutes). Serve in bowls topped with grated parmesan cheese.

    It’s so good and you can make it even if you know nothing about concave polygons.

  • I originally intended this to be a post about soup

    I haven’t mentioned a few things that have been going on around here lately. For instance, have I mentioned that my sister is pregnant? And due any second now? And by due any second, I mean that her due date was yesterday?

    I cannot tell you how much I wanted to take a picture of her at Thanksgiving lunch, post it on the blog, and announce that my sister had ruined our Thanksgiving by swallowing the turkey whole. But I refrained since women who are forty weeks pregnant tend to frown upon a good Thanksgiving turkey joke.

    So instead I’ve spent the last week being incredibly supportive and calling her every day to ask, “Hey, what’s the deal? When are you going to have that baby? Why is it taking so long?”

    Sometimes I dispense helpful advice like that I heard eating eggplant parmesan can cause you to go into labor. I’m not sure where I heard it or if I actually ever heard it anywhere as opposed to just making it up in my head, but it makes me feel like I’m doing my part in trying to get my nephew to show up.

    Her doctor is out of town this week, but he scheduled her to be induced this Monday if the baby hasn’t left the building of his own free will by then. I tend to think he’s going to stay put because have you ever heard of a man who leaves early when he can relax all he wants and the food is free? Plus, thanks to my brother-in-law, I’m pretty sure he’s getting a steady feed of ESPN in utero.

    In other news, about six weeks ago, AJ, our dear friend and official Big Mama family photographer (I just made up that title. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have that on her official resume.) took family photos of us down at her ranch. As chief photo stylist for the shoot, I’d dressed us all in a variety of wintery attire even though it was blazing hot outside.

    P walked outside in his sweater and announced, “You have me for three minutes”. We spent those precious three minutes trying to act candid and like it was perfectly natural for us to all walk through a field, throwing our heads back in laughter and dressed like we were in the Arctic Tundra instead of South Texas.

    It was a tender moment.

    Two days later, all of AJ’s camera equipment was stolen out of the back of her car. They got everything, including our Christmas card photos which were probably exactly what they were after. So if you receive a Christmas card that features a picture of a family walking through a field and looking very hot (I mean temperature hot, not looks hot. Just wanted to clarify. Although P was totally rockin’ his sweater.) there’s a good chance the people who sent you that card are thieves.

    The good news is that insurance reimbursed AJ for everything that was stolen, except for my dream of mailing out my Christmas cards by December 2nd. It’s not like I’ve ever achieved that dream before, but THIS WAS GOING TO BE MY YEAR.

    Anyway, she was in town last weekend and sweet enough to come by and take a few pictures of Caroline. I gave up on the family photo dream because, honestly, it was short notice and I didn’t feel like fixing my hair. Not to mention that P was on his way out the door to the ranch as evidenced by this picture that AJ snapped.

    xmascard2

    Oh, and did I mention that P was wearing his digital camo pants? Not that they don’t scream STYLE SAVVY because, OBVIOUSLY, they totally do.

    Also, when did my daughter get to be six feet tall?

    I’m pretty sure the following picture won’t make the Christmas card cut.

    xmascard3

    And I promise you this one won’t.

    xmascards1

    If you ever grow concerned that your prayer life isn’t what it should be, I totally recommend watching your child take pictures with someone else’s very expensive camera.

    And after seeing this picture, I’m also praying for some type of miracle cure to even out my skin tone. My word, sun damage much?

    By the way, if my sister is reading this, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE YOUR BABY?

  • White hamsters can’t jump

    You know why I love the internet? I mean other than the fact that it’s possible to spend an entire afternoon watching videos of squirrels dancing to Michael Jackson songs?

    (Do not judge me. I was merely searching for things that might bring Caroline some amusement while we spend our evenings gathered around the computer in front of the fireplace just like the Waltons.)

    I love that almost every comment from yesterday validated my use of all the words to tell of all the nothing. And so, while I didn’t get too many (or any) orders for my custom-made potholders (coasters? Barbie rugs?), I am secure in knowing that at least some of you don’t mind that I wouldn’t know succinct if it was a dancing squirrel on the internet.

    Speaking of rodents, I have a big announcement to make. Santa Claus has secured a Zhu Zhu Pet for Caroline, complete with a hamster house.

    I received so many emails informing me of Zhu Zhu Pet sightings at Cracker Barrel, CVS, and even a gas station in Louisiana. Apparently, Toys ‘R Us handed out golden tickets, like some kind of whacked out Willy Wonka, that could be exchanged for a Zhu Zhu Pet at approximately 4 a.m. when the stars aligned perfectly with Saturn or whatever.

    It all seemed very mysterious and began to remind me of an old episode of 90210 where Donna and David hear about some super-cool party, but they can only find the location if they take an egg to a convenience store. Did I just make that up or was that an actual episode? And, if so, why did I spend such a good portion of the early 90’s watching a T.V. show with such stupid plot lines?

    Says the girl addicted to BravoTV.

    Anyway, after I wrote about my quest for the Zhu Zhu and read all the comments that basically said, “Yeah, good luck with that”, I reminded myself that the Christmas season isn’t about the giving and receiving of fake hamsters, took a deep breath and decided that if we were meant to bring home Mr. Squiggles or Num Nums that it would happen.

    That calm, peaceful feeling lasted all of two seconds and then the crazy lady inside me who could use a hobby took over. I got on Amazon.com to purchase a Zhu Zhu Pet at a slight markup just in case of emergency. In the words of one commenter, I’d spend at least that much money on gas driving all over town to various Walmarts.

    So I bought Chunk because he was the cheapest of the overpriced hamsters. Apparently Chunk, with his white synthetic fur coat, isn’t nearly as desirable as Mr. Squiggles and his realistic tawny coloring that makes him look exactly like a real hamster if real hamsters had wheels instead of paws.

    But then I received a fortuitous email from a reader named Stephanie who’d had the foresight to purchase four Zhu Zhu Pets several months ago and only needed three. She said she’d love to send me the extra one in exchange for the $8.00 plus shipping cost, which, YES PLEASE. Anything to save me from being trampled in Walmart and being the subject of an embarrassing headline in the newspaper that would probably read:

    “ACCOMPLISHED POTHOLDER WEAVER INJURED IN ZHU ZHU RAMPAGE”

    I received Stephanie’s package in the mail the same day I received my package from Amazon. We are currently the proud owners of two Chunks, but not for long since I’m sending the overpriced one back to the land of greedy, price-gougers from whence he came.

    To be honest, I thought about keeping them both and giving Caroline a litter of white hamsters for Christmas, but P and I were sitting around with my family after Thanksgiving lunch and my sister asked if I was going to head out to Walmart at the crack of awful to look for a Zhu Zhu. I told her my whole story and that I now had not one BUT TWO Zhu Zhus.

    P looked at me from across the room and asked, “How much did you pay for that Zhu Zhu Pet from Amazon?”

    “Well, it retails for $8.00.”

    “That’s not what I asked. How much did you pay?”

    (Dang. He has known me too long.)

    “It doesn’t matter because I’m sending it back.”

    (Which I wasn’t actually going to do, but I threw it out there because it was better than the shame of admitting in front of my whole family that I’d bought an overpriced hamster and I knew that’s where the conversation was headed. ABORT. ABORT.)

    So there will be no family of Zhu Zhus on Christmas morning, but we’ll have a solitary Chunk, complete with hamster house (I bought it off Ebay. It retails for $21.00!), and an exercise wheel.

    And I may even weave him a tiny bed with my loom.