Yesterday’s portion of the road trip involved a battle with silly string.
It’s also the day I realized I worried needlessly about packing enough clothes to last Caroline for seven days because she’s decided all she needs is her new Astros t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts.
It’s almost midnight and we’re sitting here watching Despicable Me with the kids. We’ve had a big day and I’m ready for bed. But I think I might be the only one. Fortunately, I’m one of the adults pretending to be in charge so I plan to announce it’s officially bedtime as soon as I finish writing this post and have the energy to get off the couch.
We left San Antonio around noon on Monday and headed for Houston. Mimi and Bops recently bought a place in Houston because it’s their favorite city ever and who doesn’t want a summer home in a location that’s even more hot and humid than where you normally live? And Gulley’s dad also lives in Houston. Therefore, we decided Houston was a logical first stop on our road trip.
On Monday night we went to watch the Astros or, as they’re also known, the worst team in baseball. However, this didn’t stop Caroline from talking Bops into buying her an Astros t-shirt.
The good news is that since no one really cares about watching the Astros right now, we were able to get eight tickets for a grand total of $45.00. Unfortunately, we spent twice that amount on food. Did y’all know that a barbecued brisket sandwich plate at Minute Maid park is $13.00? Neither did I. But Bops did because he tried to convince Mimi that they weren’t selling them on the third level where our seats were located.
So we ate a varied combination of ballpark foods including a chili cheese dog, the aforementioned sandwich, three things of cotton candy, two buckets of popcorn, and a snow cone that was larger than a person’s head.
I’ll just say that I had some regrets about chasing my barbecue brisket sandwich with a few bites of Caroline’s chili cheese dog. Which probably shouldn’t come as a surprise.
I’ll break it down for you Mastercard-style.
Cotton candy – $15.00
Two Brisket Sandwiches – $26.00
Listening to Bops talk about how baseball isn’t what it used to be and how the fans are more excited about watching the jumping cans of refried beans on the jumbotron – PRICELESS
Our plan for Tuesday morning was to take the kids to Galveston for the day. We had big plans to pack a cooler full of Gatorade, Fritos and bean dip and rent an umbrella and some chairs on Stewart Beach. In other words, we feel it is of the utmost importance to teach our children about the finer things in life.
The flaw in our plan came in the form of thunderstorms coming in from the Gulf. When you’ve been living in drought conditions as long as we have, you forget to factor in things like rainfall. But I have vowed I will never complain about rain again because it is so desperately needed. Not to mention there are PLENTY of other things to complain about in this world. AT&T makes sure of that.
Gulley called me from her dad’s house to discuss our options now that Project White Beach Trash had been scrapped. Ultimately, they voted for a visit to the Aquarium. Which, truth be told, turned out to be so much easier than the beach. Especially because I prefer to see my sharks behind glass.
For reasons I don’t totally understand, there is also a white tiger at the Aquarium. I don’t know how he fits into the whole underwater scenario but I’m pretty sure if he could have figured out a way to break the glass he would’ve have eaten a child sitting in the stroller in front of us. He kept eyeballing her and I could almost see the thought bubble forming over his head that said, “FREE, DELICIOUS MONKEY DRESSED IN PINK”.
Don’t worry. That’s not the real white tiger. Just a replica.
It inspired Will to make his best face like an ape.
After all the big aquarium fun (Is this post as boring as it feels like it is? Because it feels about eight kinds of MEH.) we drove to The Galleria. Actually, we first got lost in a questionable neighborhood near downtown Houston and then we drove to The Galleria so the kids could bungee jump and ride the glass elevators up and down and give us a heart attack by acting like fools on the escalator until we had to use our I MEAN IT mom voices.
And it was there we discovered Dylan’s Candy Bar. Some of you may remember that I totally FLIPPED OUT over Ralph Lauren’s interview with Oprah and fell completely in love with his ranch and his tee-pees and basically would like to email him and ask if I could move there and just live in his garage. Well, they also interviewed his family and that’s when I learned he had a daughter named Dylan who owns the largest candy store in the world located in New York. However, I did not know there was one in Houston.
Oh happy day.
We each filled a bag with candy and I attempted to get a picture of the kids all holding giant lollipops and was informed by a salesgirl that they don’t allow photos in the store due to copyright infringement or it being a front for a covert operation involving Sydney Bristow. I can’t exactly remember. But she told me we were welcome to take a picture SANS MERCHANDISE in front of the chocolate bunny.
So we did.
And then on the way out I saw this sign and couldn’t resist.
You have to admit that’s pretty perfect.
Well. The time has arrived.
Gulley and I loaded up the kids yesterday and have officially embarked on Summer Road Trip 2011.
Here are my top ten moments from the road:
1. Gulley called yesterday morning to tell me Will was running a fever and questioned whether or not we should go. Caroline overheard our discussion and said, “I’ve been with Will through a stomach virus. A fever is nothing. Let’s go.”
2. A quick trip to the pediatrician confirmed it was no big deal, just a little virus and so we decided THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
3. We are loaded down like the Clampetts. I’ve even resorted to traveling with my own comforter. High maintenance much?
4. I don’t know if I’ve ever loved the kids more than when they sang along to Dude Looks Like a Lady. Will gives Steven Tyler a run for his money.
5. The Triple Chocoholic Blizzard from Dairy Queen. Thank you and amen.
6. We only threatened to turn the car around and go back home three times. It’s a new personal record.
7. However, there were two separate threats involving staying home from the baseball game last night and hiring a babysitter for anyone who couldn’t be kind to their back seat neighbor.
8. The moment in Whataburger when Jackson hugged Caroline and told her they’d always be BFF (best friends forever). Oh my heart.
9. The kids dancing to the Cupid Shuffle in the back seat.
10. Looking in the rear view mirror at three smiling faces and knowing I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We’re making some good memories and, at the same time, giving the kids plenty of reasons to make fun of Gulley and me for the rest of our lives.
And that’s what childhood is all about.
Well, I have returned from Nashville sans dress with rhinestones. There just wasn’t time. I guess I’ll have to break out my bedazzler and make myself my own dadgum dress with sparkly roses. And, yes, I said dadgum because it’s what Loretta Lynn would do. WWLLD. Perhaps I will start a whole movement.
Anyway, Nashville was so much fun. I’ve only been there a handful of times but it has quickly become one of my favorite cities ever. Don’t get me wrong, we are all TEXAS FOREVER (more on that in a moment) at our house, but I do think Tennessee is absolutely beautiful. Sophie and I spent a large majority of Friday being filmed while riding around in a van and if that sentence doesn’t kind of make you want to come to the .Mom Conference in September then I don’t know what will.
Not coincidentally, Friday is also the day I officially ruled out PROFESSIONAL ACTRESS as a career option because you know what I struggle with? The ability to pretend I’m surprised or frightened or to cry on demand. Even though I used to be very good at crying on demand between the ages of 13-21. I was a real treat back then.
But the best part of the trip was getting to hang out with some friends on Friday night after all the filming was over. We laughed until we cried and then we started all over again. My friend Kelly made homemade pasta (like real pasta from scratch that she made with dough and a Kitchenaid) that changed my life. My only regret is that I neglected to get a picture of the pasta hanging on plastic coat hangers all over her kitchen. It made me so happy. Good times.
Could the lighting in that picture be any worse?
No. I didn’t think so either.
I flew out early on Saturday morning and was happy to get home to my people. P texted me a picture of Caroline on Friday night while they were eating dinner and on their way to a movie.
I had three thoughts:
1. When did my baby start to look so pretty and grown up?
2. How can she eat a hamburger while missing that many teeth?
3. Why is she wearing a dress made out of black velvet in July?
Needless to say, I missed them terribly and was glad to be home. They entertained me for approximately one hour and six minutes before announcing they were heading to the Alamodome for the Texas Trophy Hunters Extravaganza. Key word: EXTRAVAGANZA. Not just a convention or a meeting or a show. AN EXTRAVAGANZA.
So as soon as they walked out the back door, I ran to the DVR to watch the series finale of Friday Night Lights. ****SPOILER ALERT*****
Y’all. It was so good.
I started crying before the opening credits even rolled and didn’t stop for the next hour and a half. I cried when Matt proposed to Julie in front of the Alamo Freeze. I cried when Tim Riggins brought little Stevie to football practice. I cried when Coach told Jess he’d already considered letting her shadow him. I cried when Mindy and Billy brought Becky home. I cried when Tim Riggins told Tyra that maybe someday their dreams might merge. I cried when Coach and Tami took Julie and Matt out to dinner.
And I SOBBED when Coach found Tami at the mall and told her to take the job in Philadelphia.
(I am not kidding when I tell you I haven’t cried that much at some sort of entertainment since I made the mistake of watching Marley and Me and couldn’t pull myself together for thirty minutes after it ended. P told me he didn’t understand why a person would put themselves through that kind of emotional wringer.)
(I’m very sensitive.)
I really thought I’d be disappointed if they didn’t end up in Texas, but it totally worked and felt right. Coach needed to get out of Dillon and have a fresh start. Tami needed the chance to live out her dream. And Tim Riggins? Well, he needed to drink a beer with Billy while they built a house on his land. TEXAS FOREVER.
If you watched it, I’d love to hear what you thought or what your favorite part was and if you think it’s normal that I had to go through half a box of Kleenex before it was all over and will miss Coach and Tami like they’re my favorite next door neighbors who just moved to Philadelphia.
***SPOILERS OFFICIALLY OVER***
P and Caroline made it home from the Texas Trophy Hunters Extravaganza and I was forever grateful that they brought home some of those cinnamon pecans because they’re my favorite. And then we picked up Italian food for dinner and spent the rest of the night just hanging out.
Sunday morning we went to church and then came home to watch the U.S. Women’s team play for the World Cup. In case you don’t know how it turned out, they lost. They lost during the penalty kicks and, personally, I think penalty kicks are a dumb way to end a game. You wouldn’t end a basketball game with free throws. But FIFA didn’t ask for my opinion.
I’ll just take comfort in knowing they didn’t lose due to a lack of patriotic soccer spirit at our house.
Yes. I let Caroline paint my face red, white and blue with a soccer ball on my cheek. I don’t know why. The World Cup enthusiasm got to me. Plus, it kept her entertained for at least thirty minutes.
All I know is I bet the girls would have won that game if Coach Taylor had been their coach.
Oh, and if you need me tomorrow I’ll just be here trying to get the red paint out of my eyebrows.
It’s true. This is the laziest Fashion Friday in history. And that’s saying something.
Actually, it’s not so much lazy as it is that I’m pressed for time because I’m trying to get this done on Wednesday night so I can leave my computer at home and not lug it with me through the airport. It makes life so much easier.
So I’m sorry that there are no pictures this week and no commentary on the various items. But I assure you that they’re very cute. And in an attempt to make it up to you, I want to share a website that a reader emailed me last week. It’s called What Kate Wore and it’s all about Kate Middleton’s wardrobe and details what she wears to various events. In other words, it’s perfection.
I realize some of you may not care at all what the Duchess wears, but I find it fascinating. And inspiring. There are even moments I pity her when it appears she has been forced to wear pantyhose and closed toe shoes as a matter of royal etiquette. Because why else would you wear pantyhose? Unless it’s 1977 and it feels like a right of passage to wear a pair of L’Eggs in suntan color with your new Yo-Yos and a red terrycloth dress?
One last thing, this weekend is Nordstrom’s big fall sale. None of this stuff is from Nordstrom, but you may want to go on their site and look for good deals.
That is all.
I know I wasn’t going to add commentary, but these are on sale for a limited time.
The same goes for these and I ADORE them.
5. rustic canyon embroidered dress
9. orla kiely super maxi sling bag
10. siren necklace
That’s it.
Y’all have a great Friday.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
Yesterday morning we woke up after a night that included several bouts of coughing. And as we sat in front of the T.V. to watch the U.S. women’s soccer team play in the semi-finals (USA, USA, USA!), I made the executive decision to go ahead and take Caroline to the doctor because her cough sounded worse and I knew I was leaving for Nashville today. I didn’t want to leave her with thoughts of bronchitis dancing in my head.
And now you may be wondering why I’m going to Nashville.
So I’ll tell you.
I’ve finally decided to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a country singer and owning some sort of dress with roses made out of rhinestones.
The only thing standing in my way is a complete lack of musical talent.
In reality, Sophie and I are going to be a part of a new Lifeway Women’s conference called .Mom. It’s pronounced DOT MOM in case you just thought I put a period in the wrong place.
.Mom isn’t until September 23-24 in Birmingham, Alabama, but they’re bringing us in to Nashville to work on our script and some video-type things over the next couple of days. Because we’re going to emcee the entire event. And so we might need to have an idea about what we’re supposed to say in advance. Unlike our podcasts where we just ramble endlessly about The Bachelorette and our hair.
You might be wondering if I’m a little frightened at the prospect of getting up in front of 2,000 women and making an attempt at witty banter. The answer is no. I’m not frightened. I’m merely completely terrified and feel like I might throw up just thinking about it.
So I’m sure it will all be FINE.
Especially considering the last time LifeWay entrusted us with any sort of speaking/emcee duties it turned into me standing on the floor of the Alamodome asking how everyone slept last night. It’s a moment I refer to as my own private Alamo. As in REMEMBER THE.
But if you’re a mom of any age and stage of child, then you should think about joining us at .Mom in September. You can find out more here. If nothing else, you can be a witness to the moment Sophie and I either begin a new career as emcees or solidify decisions to never put us in front of a group of people again.
Good times.
Anyway, that’s why I decided I needed to take Caroline to the doctor. Because MOM OF THE YEAR if you leave town to work on your role in a conference on mothering and leave your child at home with an untreated respiratory illness. But by the time her 3:40 appointment rolled around, I began to suspect I overreacted and she was definitely feeling much better as evidenced by this series of pictures I took with my phone while we waited for the doctor.
I think it’s obvious that I felt really good about spending the $35 co-pay by the time we left. Especially when the doctor said, “She seems completely fine” and then fought the urge to hand me a pamphlet on neurotic mothers.
But in the meantime, P had taken our other child, Bruiser, to the vet because his ear flap had become very swollen over the last several days. At first we thought he’d just been stung by a bee or something, but then I got on the Google last night and began to suspect that he had an aural hematoma.
What did we do before Google? How was any illness ever diagnosed before we could just type in “My dog’s ear is all puffed up and swollen” and be rewarded with more information about dog’s ears than we even knew existed? Sure there were other methods of research, but I never would have known an aural hematoma was a real thing and, even if I did, I would have probably gotten sidetracked reading about Austria when I tried to look it up in the A volume of the encyclopedia.
As it turns out, the nice folks on Google were totally right and Bruiser had to have his ear drained. So when Caroline and I walked through the door after her doctor’s appointment, we found Bruiser looking like this.
I think he was annoyed with me for taking his picture while he’s not at his best. P said they stuck a needle in his ear flap to drain the fluid and then wrapped it up. All for the bargain price of not anywhere close to free dollars. But the good news is Bruiser won’t end up with an ear like a professional wrestler and that makes me feel so much better because he can be so vain.
Speaking of vain, I spent the rest of the afternoon attempting to pack my suitcase and then showered and went through my entire good hair routine. Amplify shampoo, vinegar rinse to get rid of hard water, conditioner, cold water rinse, Amplify serum, mousse, blow-dry, hot rollers, flat iron. I’m exhausted just typing it all out. But I tried to skimp on my hair routine before I went to Louisville, KY for Deeper Still last month and I had hair regrets the entire weekend. I felt like it was important to start off on a good hair note this trip.
Even though I’m sad to say I’m not sure I rinsed the vinegar as well as I should have and am noticing I smell a little like salad as I sit here and type. I’m sure the people sitting next to me on the plane won’t mind.
Or maybe it will just make them crave a Greek salad and they won’t even know why.
I’ll see y’all tomorrow for Fashion Friday. Fingers crossed I find a dress in Nashville with roses made out of rhinestones.
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