Well it started off as a great weekend around here. P and Caroline went to the ranch on Friday night and I managed to finish Season 1 of Army Wives. It wasn’t easy. I had to persevere through the air-conditioning repairman showing up to fix our circuit board and not leaving until 7:30. But I wasn’t going to let that stand in the way of my television goals.
On Saturday morning Caroline had a soccer game at 10:30. Which, in my opinion, is the perfect time for a soccer game. And she scored three goals. Then we came home to watch the Aggies play Baylor. Even though my blood pressure was above normal for a good portion of the game, we managed to pull out a decisive win. And by we, I mean a team full of college boys playing their hearts out while I sat on the couch eating chips and hyperventilating.
The rest of Saturday was spent taking a little trip to the pumpkin patch and making a quick stop by Home Depot to pick up some mums. Caroline and her friend Gabi helped me plant the mums and decorate the yard with spider webs and pumpkins. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess to a serious case of front yard pride. The mums are a HUGE improvement over the dead liriope that had been in my urns for the last two months or so.
We went to eat Italian food with Mimi and Bops that night. Caroline went to bed pretty soon after we got home and I was prepared to enjoy a little more Army Wives. But then something happened.
Hazel Ludendorff showed up.
Some of you may remember Hazel from last year. She’s the three-pack-a-day smoker in her eighties that becomes my alternate personality when I develop a bit of a chest cold. And she showed up with virtually no warning. Sure I’ve been a little congested, but I felt sure it was just some mild allergies. I was not prepared for a visit from Hazel.
To make matters worse, I’m flying to Chicago on Monday morning to meet with my editor for the first time and I really hate that Hazel is going to be part of that equation. I want to put my best foot forward and Hazel is likely to want to spout her views on politics and religion. Hazel might say those protesters on Wall Street might be better served to quit camping out and go try to make something of their lives. She might say that nice young fellow named Steve Jobs that just passed away (God rest his soul) didn’t change the world by sitting around crying and feeling entitled, but by using his brain to create some type of computer in his garage. IN HIS GARAGE. Can you even imagine such?
And those iPhones? Hazel thinks part of the problem with the world today is everyone’s obsession with a phone that’s smarter than them. Who needs a phone that you can talk to? Back in her day if you wanted to talk to someone you joined a bridge club or brought a covered dish to the neighbors. Talking to a phone? NONSENSE.
So I’m going to see about getting into the medical clinic down the street before my flight. I feel it would be best for everyone concerned if Hazel got some type of steroid shot or prescription cough medicine before she heads to Chicago.
Hopefully I’ll be back to post an update tomorrow, but Hazel isn’t sure about bringing the computer along for the trip. Air travel has been hard enough since they quit serving lobster cocktail, letting you smoke, and make you take off all your clothes at security.
No need to complicate things with a computer.