A girl I knew once told me, before I had kids, that the worst part of motherhood is having to go to amusement parks. At the time I thought that was an odd thing to say because what isn’t fun about amusement parks?
Well, other than the bigger than life characters that walk around and pose for pictures. They creep me out.
I’m talking about you, big stuffed Shamu. Just walk away with your unnaturally proportioned head.
Truly, I don’t mind the amusement park experience. You start off the day fresh and full of high expectations of all the great fun to be had and that feeling lasts until you’re dragging everyone back to the car at the end of the day, sweaty, hot, cotton candy stuck to the side of your face, and $250 poorer than when you walked in.
Good times.
Plus, you always have a chance of winning a Nicole Richie doll.
The parenting experience that I could just leave behind is the birthday party. All the birthday parties. Who knew there could be so many birthday parties?
The 4-year-old social circuit is unbelievable. Seriously, it makes my own social life look a little pitiful by comparison. Caroline has 3 parties on any given weekend and I have…umm, well I like to be at church on Sunday morning.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m so thankful that Caroline has friends and we get invited to the birthday parties. I am. I really am. She’s a huge fan of the birthday party. Telling her we have a birthday party to attend on a Saturday morning is like someone telling me I get to sleep until 10:00, then go get a pedicure and a new outfit.
It creates new levels of hysteria and excitement. Levels that really aren’t seen outside of anything involving High School Musical.
So, Saturday morning, we had a double header. 10:00 a.m. birthday party at Kiddie Park, followed by an 11:30 a.m. party at one of her classmate’s homes. That is ALOT of hot pink icing.
By the time I got up Saturday morning, Caroline was already dressed in her hot pink, bedazzled outfit. She was speaking in ALL CAPS and WAS SO EXCITED and all LET’S LEAVE RIGHT NOW! WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! LET’S GO! LET’S GO!!!
Which would have been fine, but it was only 8:30 a.m. And trust me, the workers at Kiddie Park aren’t the type to show up one minute earlier than their scheduled work time. Heaven forbid they get there early and change out the water in the boat ride.
Anyway, after a long morning of IS IT TIME TO GO YET?!! it was finally actually time to leave. We headed out to Kiddie Park, rode some rides of questionable safety and unmentionable hygiene issues, ate a Hello Kitty! cupcake, and drank from some unknown child’s juicebox. Because, really, she likes to do all she can to ensure that she picks up some kind of illness for the upcoming week.
Just as she was coming down from her Hello Kitty! sugar high, it was time to leave for the next party. This one had a bouncy castle. With Disney Princesses. And face painting. And even more Hello Kitty! cake.
Who knew that Hello Kitty! had made such a comeback? I had no idea. She’s very hot right now. Like the next Paris Hilton or something, because she doesn’t really do anything, she just stands around with that blank stare.
By the time we got home, the party hangover had begun. All the whining and complaining about being hot, tired, and having a headache from all the screaming. And Caroline wasn’t doing much better.
It took me the rest of the day to recover.
I’m just glad there wasn’t a big, life-size Hello Kitty! walking around.
It would have pushed me over the edge.