I made Caroline her eggs yesterday before the STAAR test so if she doesn’t get great scores it won’t be due to a lack of a nutritional breakfast. And then I did a bunch of stuff around the house before I met Gulley for lunch. We have a standing Tuesday lunch date and yesterday we chose to meet at Cappy’s. I ordered a cup of gumbo and this kale salad with a lemon vinaigrette and dried cherries that was absolutely delicious and it confirmed something for me that I’ve suspected for a long time.
I could really benefit from a personal chef.
No. Don’t argue with me. It’s true.
Because if I had a personal chef I’d eat more kale. And I realize I could try to imitate this kale salad at home but it wouldn’t be the same. Especially because most of the recipes I see for kale salad involve massaging the kale to soften it up and, frankly, that sounds more involved than I want to be.
The bottom line is I’d eat a lot healthier if I had someone to cut up some fruits and vegetables for me and arrange them in an attractive manner on a platter. This might help me choose a better snack alternative than a square of raw Nestle Ultimate Chocolate Chip cookie dough.
And I’m guessing it would also make my family happy because you can only declare that it’s TACO NIGHT so many times before everyone starts to suspect that maybe you’re just phoning it in.
Speaking of tacos, I was driving Caroline to soccer practice earlier this evening down a street called Nacogdoches here in town. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Nacogdoches is pronounced Naco-doches. The “g” is silent. And so I was delighted to see that right on Nacogdoches is a new Mexican restaurant called Taco Doches. I’m going to make plans to eat there just because I am a fan of a clever name.
Anyway, I got home from taking Caroline to practice and was catching up with P when he all of a sudden picked up my set of car keys and asked, “What on earth are all these keys for?”
“Um. I don’t know. Like Gulley’s house and my dad’s house and our house.”
He looked at it again and said, “Well that’s three keys. You have over twenty on this keychain.”
Why do people want to judge other’s choices?
So I replied, “Well, I’m not sure what they all go to but I don’t want to throw them out because what if it turns out to be a key I need?”
P shook his head, “I just don’t understand why you’d carry around all these keys that don’t have a purpose.”
“Maybe it’s because I want to be like Schneider.”
“Who’s Schneider?”
I looked at him incredulously, “What do you mean ‘who’s Schneider?’ SCHNEIDER. FROM ONE DAY AT A TIME.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
So I explained that Schneider was the building superintendent for Ann Romano and her two daughters, Barbara and Julie, while P just looked at me. I exclaimed, “How can you not remember that show? Valerie Bertinelli was on it. Remember? She married Eddie Van Halen? And Mackenzie Phillips? She had a drug problem? And Schneider wore a denim vest and carried a big ring of keys on his belt!”
Nothing.
Clearly he was busy watching some subpar 1970’s television while I was engrossed in the weekly dynamics of whether Ann Romano and her daughters would make it in the big city.
Then just a little while ago, I pulled up the opening credits to One Day At A Time on Youtube and started playing it. P asked, “What is that?”
“It’s the opening music to One Day At A Time.”
And he looked right at me and asked, “You mean that show with Eddie Van Halen?”
Y’all.
I can’t even.
So I just said, “Yes, the show that starred Eddie Van Halen. And Schneider.”
Please tell me that you remember this.
It will also make me feel better if maybe you know all the lyrics by heart because I totally do. Which is knowledge that has come in so handy over the last thirty-five years.