Mile-high nonsense

January 27, 2009

How many blog entries have I started with “I’m up in the air right now”? By my mental calculation I believe the answer is A LOT.

The funny thing is that I don’t really like flying. It’s not so much the whole “you could come crashing down from 40,000 feet in the air” part as much as the “I don’t like being confined to small spaces next to strangers with possible cold and flu symptoms” situation.

And, really, the whole experience used to be a lot more pleasant but now that they want to charge me $2.00 for a Diet Coke, the bloom is off the travel rose. I mean, seriously, did the hundreds of dollars spent on the ticket not cover that Diet Coke?

Anyway, I’m up in the air on my way home from Travis’s CD recording. It was such an incredible night of worship and I get a little giddy thinking about his version of “Victory In Jesus”. I was able to all-too-briefly say hi to some sweet blog friends and I’m so sad we didn’t have enough time to all sit around and talk about life live and in person.

Perfect. The pilot just announced that there will be a little bit of turbulence and I swear if it causes me to spill part of my $2.00 Diet Coke, I’m asking for a refund.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that I was reprimanded by the flight attendant. I’m sitting in an emergency exit row and she was trying to begin her lecture on opening the emergency hatch. Meanwhile, I was completely caught up in my issue of People Style Watch featuring what’s hot and what’s not for 2009 and didn’t even know she was speaking. I am a mother; I can tune out distractions like it’s an Olympic sport.

All of a sudden it dawned on me that someone was repeatedly saying “Lady in the pink scarf in seat 16A. LADY IN THE PINK SCARF!” Sure enough, I was the lady in the pink scarf who holds the safety of all the passengers in what are most certainly my less-than-capable, People-magazine-holding hands.

So then I had to pull out the laminated card in the seat pocket in front of me and actually pretend I was paying attention, which I wasn’t because let’s not even pretend I’d remember what to do in case of emergency other than completely panic.

In other unrelated airline news, I know I said I had a video that I was going to post. However, due to a vast amount of technical issues, I’m not entirely sure the video even exists at this point. I apologize, but rest assured in the knowledge that all you’re missing is another very low-budget Big Mama video production.

In closing, I am well aware that this is the most random post and has no coherent train of thought other than my outrage at paying $2.00 for a can of Diet Coke, but I am flat exhausted. It’s been fun to travel and see friends and what not, but I need a day or nine to recover. I plan to do a lot of sitting on my couch in flannel pajamas while eating homemade soup and catching up on all the fabulous T.V. that’s waiting for me with open arms on my DVR.

Because that’s just how ambitious I am.

48 comments. Leave yours →

1 Cheri (the Mom Lady) January 27, 2009 at 6:31 am

Yup, I understand about the air travel thing. The “glamour” of travel is such a distant memory that I’m not altogether sure I made it up. We lived overseas for many years, back in the days when you could haul a 65 lb carryon of makeup (full of LIQUIDS!) as well as a purse and a bag full of reading material. And we CARRIED that makeup bag with us because heaven forbid it was (a) lost by the airline and (b) we might need a wee touch-up before landing because goodness knows, we must impress our fellow-travelers when we connect to our next flight after a 6 hour layover in some small airport in, oh, Greenland or Lake Jackson!

So I feel your pain. And that diet Coke? First class not only got it FREE ($299 for the ticket/$300 for the coke) they got it in a GLASS drinking receptacle.

It’s a whole ‘nuther life up there…

2 Jenn January 27, 2009 at 6:47 am

yes, I whole heartedly agree, airplanes are cans of germs just waiting to infect me. ew.

Good thing I’ve no reason to fly anytime soon…or pretty much ever.

3 MJ January 27, 2009 at 7:00 am

Last time I flew, which was almost a year ago, the soda was free, but you took it in a plastic 5 oz cup chock full o ice chips.

4 Amanda @ Serenity Now January 27, 2009 at 7:20 am

2 bucks for a Diet Coke? It’s been about year since I’ve flown…can’t believe it. And to think I was considering taking my girls to Houston this summer to see my family–I don’t think I would survive the flight without some caffeine, and I am not payin’ 2 dollars!! ;)

5 Mel January 27, 2009 at 8:10 am

i would be outraged by the whole having to buy a soda thing…ugggg…

glad you are home for your rest in your flannel PJs!!!

6 Keyona January 27, 2009 at 8:38 am

Did you at least get free peanuts or did the do away with that all together?

7 Robyn (3GirlsMom) January 27, 2009 at 8:46 am

OOO. You got smack talked by a flight attendant. That’s harsh.

And I bet the Diet Coke wasn’t even cold. So when they poured it over 3 ice cubes, it instantly became watery Diet Coke. But still cost you 2 smacks. Boo hiss.

And here are my thoughts on the exit row seats. If you come crashing down from 35,000 feet, an exit row seat will be as useless as the dang cockpit. Same with seatbelts. Useless in a 35,000 foot plummet. Howev, the recent “airliner in the Hudson” snafoo totally blew a hole in my thoughts about the uselessness of exit row seats and seatbelts.

8 Chelsea January 27, 2009 at 8:47 am

Puh-lease! If your plane really did have an emergency, some crazed type-A would probably toss you to the side and rip open that door himself. You could never pay me enough to be a flight attendant, but that one needed to chill.

Did you ever see the photos of the US Air plane that landed in the Hudson? I love that the coach passengers were all standing on the wing getting soaked while the first-class passengers were floating in the inflatable raft dry as can be. Probably sipping a Diet Coke out of a real glass, too.

9 Marla Taviano January 27, 2009 at 8:52 am

Sweetie, would you like to bump the book give-away to next week? :)

10 Kelley January 27, 2009 at 9:14 am

While I enjoy sitting in the exit row, and can understand the need to know how to open the door should we need too….that is no excuse for the flight attendant to call you out like that.

I would have probably either gone uber-sassy or killed her with kindness.

Knowing me…sassy would have won out.

11 Lauren Kelly January 27, 2009 at 9:17 am

Too funny! LOVE your writing. Hope you made it back safely :) :)

12 Mocha with Linda January 27, 2009 at 9:22 am

But I bet that pink scarf was tied really cute!

13 Lazy Mom Leslie January 27, 2009 at 9:25 am

But how was the pink scarf tied? We need the important details here! You know, sometimes, a diet coke is totally worth $2. Especially if you are cramped next to someone with BO in a plane. Although I do agree with you…I paid how much for this ticket and you want to charge me for a coke?

14 lavonda January 27, 2009 at 9:38 am

I feel the same way about a hospital:
the room I’m in is $850 a night, yet that pain pill just cost me $5?

At least the drinks are free in there…

15 kelly January 27, 2009 at 9:38 am

I feel the same as you about the $2.00 Diet Coke. I did not complain as much about being charged to check my luggage, but having to pay for a Diet Coke is absurd!! Oh, by the way… I am new to the blogging world and I watched your video on ways to wear a scarf so thanks to you I went out and bought 3 more scarves to add to my wardrobe. Luckily the were all 70% off!!!

16 Talysa January 27, 2009 at 9:41 am

I have no idea what you guys are talking about…reading magazines…touching up makeup…drinking Diet Cokes…sitting in the midst of germ infested strangers…

I am the drooling lump of flesh in the seat next to you that took her little blue pill about half an hour before arriving to the airport even!…hmmm…funny, they never ask me to sit in the Emergency Exit ;-)

17 kelly January 27, 2009 at 9:42 am

:(

18 Dedra January 27, 2009 at 10:11 am

Happy PJ/TV homemade soup day! Why is it that we HATE flying but LOVE going to hang out with our peeps? or travel to exotic places?….. Thanks for making me smile.. as usual! :-)

19 Jill (CDJ) January 27, 2009 at 10:18 am

$2 for a can of Diet Coke that highway… or airway, rather… robbery!!

20 Jenny B January 27, 2009 at 10:20 am

You are SO funny! Seriously I just love your posts and can definitely foresee myself becoming addicted! :)

And yes, my new friend, you are CRAZY for paying $2.00 for a diet coke. Crazy, but not alone. I completely understand the need for a diet coke and how when it’s needed, you pay what you have to. Right? :)

YAY FOR PINK SCARVES!!! :)

21 Mel January 27, 2009 at 10:20 am

Flying with children has become my nightmare. I’d be happy if I could fly by myself.

This has nothing to do with the post, but I had to mention it. I was looking at my Chadwick’s of Boston catalog and one of the models was wearing white lace tights and I thought of you. Are they back in fashion?

22 Beverlydru January 27, 2009 at 10:25 am

Your last low-budget video inspired my college daughter to submit “How to Tie One One” as her topic for a speech that includes a demonstration. Imagine our surprise when the professor rejected her proposal saying it wasn’t “academic”. LOL.

23 Cydney January 27, 2009 at 10:32 am

You have the life girl! I am working and really have no choice but to do that if bills are going to get paid and children fed. But on a more thankful note I am proud that I have a job in this economy and pray I am able to keep it.

24 Holly @ Crownlaiddown January 27, 2009 at 10:35 am

And here I thought you were in Denver, the mile high city. Wish you were, friend! Although it is doubtful you will find any decent Mexican fare–you may, however, find huevos rancheros. Ha!

This: I am a mother; I can tune out distractions like it’s an Olympic sport.
was PRICELESS!

25 chesley January 27, 2009 at 11:00 am

It makes me sick to pay that kind of $$ for a D.C., but when you need one there is really no price too high is there?!

We went to the circus over the weekend and they were charging $9 for lemonade…seriously!

26 Melissa January 27, 2009 at 11:00 am

I also hate the confinement of an airplane. I always swore I’d never fly anywhere that would take more than 3-4 hours to fly. I just recently flew to and back from Zimbabwe. One flight was 19 hours. The rest added up to about 27. Ask me how that went!…No, don’t ask!

I’m so proud of you for wearing a pink scarf! We like to know you are living what you preach! :)

27 Paige January 27, 2009 at 11:35 am

OR…you could jump right back into the whole backhouse thing…LOL

I am glad that you are home…I like to fly because that usually means I am gonna get to see my family who all live too far away! I don’t like to pay $2.00 for a diet coke though! That is airway robbery!

Hope you post the video

Paige

28 Tricia January 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Next time you’ll have to fly Southwest!! The Diet Cokes are still free!!! Oh, wait, Southwest doesn’t fly to Atlanta…ok never mind!!

29 michelle January 27, 2009 at 12:35 pm

I hear ya. wow that is one pricy diet coke … You can get a 2 liter for that lol .. sad and so true the extrumly pricy ticket, and the additional taxes is not enough for a free drink especially a soda please peopel high way robbery….

well so glad you had fun.. How is his cd? Did you see Beth Moore there?

well do as I would pj’s and relax on the sofa you sure deserve it … take care hope to hear from you soon..

30 Kari January 27, 2009 at 12:46 pm

A pink scarf, huh!? I want scarves!!! My husband overheard the blog video about scarves. Then a day later, I made the mistake of asking him to let me buy some scarves from Wal-Mart. He told me I was reading THOSE blogs way too much! HA! If he only knew!! He hears one blog video…and all of a sudden, he is calling a Rehab facility for me. ANyhwo. Sorry that this comment has had NOTHING to do with your actual post. Except the total randomness of both! But, I live in a world of random, so it fits!

31 Amy January 27, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Big Mama,
I am mostly posting a comment in order to tell people how to post a comment to mine. Seems like a day of randomness so I randomly chose your blog. Just so happens it is one of my favorites. You are completely funny and I enjoy your posts so much. Thanks!

32 Jodie January 27, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Well, you have missed some good raunchy TV. Start with last night’s Bachelor episode. The drama is HIGH.

33 Jenna January 27, 2009 at 1:58 pm

So glad you made it back home to your people! Hope you are in those flannels right now enjoying some yummy soup and free diet coke. And conversing with people who do not refer to you by articles of clothing. :-)

34 Amy R January 27, 2009 at 2:08 pm

My favorite part of the flight attendant exit row speech is the fact that you can’t just nod your head to her instructions, she tells you that you have to verbally say yes…I know that the exit row has much more leg room, but way to much responsibility…

Love your blog…this from a blog newbie thanks for the inspiration.

35 Faith January 27, 2009 at 2:40 pm

My friend, I have been called out by a flight attendant before over already having my ipod in and not paying attention to the safety instructions and it was not fun, not fun at all.

I am so excited that we got to meet Sunday night after an amazing night of worship. You are just the sweetest!!I so wish that I could attend the upcoming retreat that you’re going to be a part of. I know that you will do a wonderful job and the Lord will bless that weekend tremendously…that’s what I’m praying for!

36 Lisa @ The PW January 27, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Girl, you needed my flight attendant from Houston to Chicago. I begged her to let me buy the whole can of DC instead of pouring it. She said, “Honey? you don’t have to buy it! Here’s one can and an extra just because..And by the way, let me know when you are ready for ice!”

Seriously. I don’t know if she was on crack or what but I really didn’t care as long as she gave me the goods.

37 Suzi January 27, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Too funny!

I also hate flying but for BOTH reasons you mentioned!!

The last flight attendant we had was amazing! She gave us free earphones and as many drinks as we wanted. -Fly Jet Blue

All other airlines loose our luggage almost everytime!!

38 suburbancorrespondent January 27, 2009 at 3:50 pm

At least it wasn’t “lady in the ugly blazer” or something like that…

39 Tiffany January 27, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Let’s not lose sight of the importance of this post… EVEN THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT TOOK NOTE OF YOUR MAGNIFICENT SCARF WEARING ABILITIES! I loved the video, and soooo needed it! I’m a Carolina Girl living in cold cold Canada… scarf wearing is not just for fashion for me! Your video saved my neck… literally!

40 kim January 27, 2009 at 4:15 pm

So glad you made it home – did you take the free ticket?? :)
It was great to see you on Sunday
What an amazing worship experience
Have a great day
Kim

41 Jill January 27, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Saw your pic on Lysa TerKeurst’s blog. You were having a spectacular hair day!

42 Laura @ Texas in Africa January 27, 2009 at 7:17 pm

$2 Diet Coke is bad, but it could be much worse. I’m the lucky traveler who ALWAYS gets seated in the middle of seven unaccompanied Polish-American minors who’ve spent the summer with their grandparents on the Baltic coast and are now returning to New York for the school year on a nine hour flight from Warsaw but who keep switching between English and Polish, because, you know, everyone they know can do that.

43 Jill January 27, 2009 at 9:17 pm

So, to finish on the hair, could you do a Fashion Friday on using rollers…or what ever you did to get your hair to look so fab?

44 Jessica January 28, 2009 at 8:57 am

At least when you got reprimanded you surely looked oh so stylish in your pink scarf seeing as you are a pro at scarf tying. By the way, I loved your scarf video if not just for the content, but to get to see Big Mama in action and hear your voice/accent. Thanks!

45 Fran January 28, 2009 at 9:55 am

As our beloved Jenny Hope said after seeing Beth at lunch on Sunday…its a good thing we can’t google outfits because I so would have googled your coat Sunday night at the recording. ADORABLE!!

Welcome home. I’ve slept like never before.

46 Leah January 28, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I used to think that flying was glamorous. Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous glamorous. That’s when I was 20… had only flown once … and was without kids! I’ve blogged about the departure — extravaganza here: http://thesweetlife.blog.ca/2009/01/06/oh-yeah-we-went-to-las-vegas-5334241/. But, it’s better than driving 30 hours with kids!!

47 Riley's Mama January 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I’ll be that pink scarf was looking nice though! You should have passed on your link to your movie to her.

48 Christy Semsen January 31, 2009 at 2:30 pm

What? Why did you have to pay? We flew back from Atlanta that same day and I got my 2 cokes for free! We were on Delta…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: