Big Mama Blog

Just like the Hat Creek Cattle Company except they might rent pigs

I realize I’m posting a little later than usual today, but I am trying to overcome my OCD ways and the inevitable twitch that comes when I don’t have something scheduled to go up by 6 a.m. every day. It’s a sickness really.

And before I continue, can we please have a moment of silence for Ed McMahon? I erroneously announced he was deceased about a year ago, but now that he is actually gone I feel I need a moment to reflect.

Okay, I’m all done.

Anyway, I mentioned that I was in Oklahoma for a little girls’ getaway. Ree from The Pioneer Woman invited Sophie, Shannon and me to come spend a few days at the ranch so I spent the morning working cattle.

There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.

Actually, I didn’t so much work the cattle as stand around and watch the cowboys work the cattle while I said helpful things like, “Man, that looks really hard” or “Wow. You get really dirty working cattle.”

However, I did ride a horse.

Let’s all have another moment of silence for my bottom. It may never be the same.

I was a little hesitant about riding a horse but then Ree emailed and said she assumed I’d be riding. The night I read the email, I turned to P and said, “Ree assumes I’ll be riding a horse. Do you think I should ride a horse?” He looked at me and said, “Maybe you should ask if they have a small donkey you could ride.”

I don’t know why he didn’t feel my four years of riding trails at summer camp combined with various pony rides as a child didn’t qualify me for true horsemanship status.

Apparently they aren’t kidding around with this whole cowboy thing because Ree told me she’d be around to pick me up from the Lodge around 5:15 a.m. I didn’t even finish watching “The Bachelorette” last night so I would be rested and ready. Let the gravity of that sink in. I’ve only been here 24 hours and ranch life has already changed me.

Also, I can watch “The Bachelorette” on my DVR when I get home.

When I walked outside it looked like this.

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Who knew that’s what 5 a.m. looks like in the middle of nowhere?

Ree drove me over to where the cowboys were waiting with the horses and that’s when I met Peso for the first time. Peso is the horse that her four-year-old son normally rides and all he really likes to do is eat and walk. In other words, we were a match made in heaven.

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The other good news is that Peso was content to just follow along behind Marlboro Man and his horse, so I was able to not really think about where I was going and instead imagine that I was in a scene from “Lonesome Dove” except without Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones.

Before the cattle round-up or whatever it’s supposed to be called was over, Peso and I had both trotted and loped while I repeatedly murmured the Lord’s Prayer. It was seriously so much fun, but have I mentioned that my bottom will never be the same?

Once all the mama cows and their babies were in the pens, they began to separate the mamas from the babies so that they could vaccinate, castrate, and brand the calves. Just another day at the office.

Look at this one giving me the eye. I think he was hoping I might help him.

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There’s nothing I can do for him now.

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But I think he held a grudge because he kept staring at me with disdain.

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Seriously, quit looking at me. I am helpless here. For goodness sakes, I can barely ride a horse.

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If you don’t believe me, just ask my bottom.

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Comments

  1. 1

    I am so jealous! One of my prime vacation destinations is Pioneer Woman’s Lodge where I can watch her cook and see all that gorgeous scenery! Take lots of photos! And Advil.

  2. 2

    Haha that was too funny! That pic of you on the horse is really good, and I have to ask, where did you get the boots, they are way cute! Have a good time, and you may want to set in some salt!

  3. 3

    LOL!! sounds like fun! :)

  4. 4

    Rolling on the floor laughing! I hope you and your bottom have recovered!

  5. 5

    I am finding the Pioneer Women site.

  6. 6

    Sounds like a great time! Ya think you’ll ever get “back in the saddle again?” I’m a horse-lover and those pics pioneer woman posted had me droolin’ Enjoy your vacation!

  7. 7

    I’m so jealous too!!! What a fabulous time to hang out with Ree and enjoy her delicious cooking. WOW! Keep us updated!

  8. 8

    Oh my! What fun that would be to hang out with you and Pioneer Woman! That’s an invitation I would give my right arm for.

  9. 9

    My blogs are colliding! I almost forgot whose blog I was reading. It gives me warm fuzzies to know that two of my favorite bloggers are hanging out! :) Have so much fun!

  10. 10

    Looks like fun…well, except for the castrating part, but the rest did sound like a good time. ;)

  11. 11

    how fun you got to go hang out with Ree! I am slightly jealous, along with everyone else who has had the pleasure of reading her site!

  12. 12
    Heather says:

    Well where have I been? I didn’t know Ed passed away. You look so cute on that horse! I love Ree’s blog, you get to hang out with everyone!! Good times!

  13. 13

    No! No you didn’t!

    When you mentioned Tulsa I wondered if you were visiting Shannon, but I never imagined this. Too fun!

  14. 14
    Katherine says:

    So jealous that you are with PW AND Boomama! Did she get on a horse, and do you have photographic evidence? I’ll bet she stayed in the SUV! I hope you all have a breat time!

  15. 15

    OK, they finally take blogs out from behind our firewall at work and you’re blog is gonna get me banned from general blogdom for literally LOLing at work. This is one of your best yet! Wish I was riding the range with you guys – course Id have to have the donkey for real!

  16. 16

    Seriously? I mean, what’s next? A reality show about all these bloggers meeting up, working cattle and gourmet cooking? At least then we’d see some reality that actually works out in the real world! Sounds like y’all had a great time! Except your butt, that is.

  17. 17
    Cindi in Boston says:

    LOL! And OMG, you looK fabulous! That guy was way off at the airport, you don’t look like Jamie Lee Curtis at all! More like Sandra Bullock with a Cindy Crawford body!

  18. 18

    He looks a tad bit angry for some reason. I don’t think his bottom will ever be the same either.

  19. 19

    if the blog world were high school, you guys would so be the cool girls. but you’d be nice, and that makes all the difference. that looks like an awesome trip. i’m trying not to be jealous that you got to stay in the Lodge!!

  20. 20

    You are much braver than I. After about 15 years of NOT BEING ON A HORSE AT ALL, I decided that my few years riding when I was a mere child would suffice me riding a horse BAREBACK. Needless to say, the horse threw me, I thought I was going towards the light, and I have had a healthy fear ever since. I do love them and love to pet them, but ride them? I get sweaty palms just thinking about it.

  21. 21

    Big and Boo at the Lodge! What a treat!!!
    What’s PW cooking for you guys?

    Maybe one day I’ll get to visit the lodge!

  22. 22

    Sounds like a fun trip!

  23. 23

    Oh my goodness! The green monster of jealousy is biting me bad. Have lot of fun and take lots of pictures.

  24. 24

    I am completely jealous!! I hope you have a ton of fun!!

  25. 25

    If your fanny hurts, your thighs probably aren’t far behind. I was on what was supposed to be a relaxing trail ride once and the horse totally took off with me. I gripped onto that horse with my thighs like a vise. And consequently my thighs hurt for days. And those were 18-year-old thighs. My 34-year-old thighs probably couldn’t take it.

  26. 26

    I’m sooo jealous. I also read Pioneer Woman and would love to visit the Lodge. I hope she cooks you something yummy with butter. That will make you feel better.

  27. 27

    How fun!!! What a girls getaway working cattle at Ree’s please tell me yall are cooking something good right now?

  28. 28

    Just made my day…big smiles…much laughter!

  29. 29
    Melinda says:

    What a day!!! How long are you staying? That was a FUN post…well..the part with the cow looking at you was, not your bottom…yikes!!!

  30. 30

    I’m so jealous I could vomit.

  31. 31

    You might need to sit on some ice tonight. Then your tale will be told.

  32. 32

    Having recently ridden a horse, I feel your pain. Lit’rally. Meanwhile, you are awesome.

  33. 33

    Hello! It’s my first time on your site (came over from PW’s) and i love it! You are too funny. I’m also very, very jealous that you got to go help Ree, that is a dream of mine. Also, i have pity on your bottom. Mine is in that same bruised and battered condition every time i get on a horse (every 2 years).

    See ya!

  34. 34

    Having grown up in St. Louis and rarely if ever visiting the country, I don’t know if I’m right about this, but: Isn’t that a cow? Like, a lady? Are those udders I see? Because you keep calling her a “him.”

  35. 35

    Who’s giving you “the eye?” The CALF or the gorgeous COWBOY on the fence?

    Because your response of “I can’t do anything for him now” fits either one – – – I HOPE.

  36. 36

    Sounds like so much fun!! What will you be cooking??

  37. 37

    When I was dating my husband he took me out to work cattle. We pull up to his grandfather’s farm, unload, then my husband, his father and grandfather sit around chatting while the mama cows are ANGRY. Those ladies were oh so very mad that my husband’s grandfather had locked-up their babies (in preparation for the vaccinations and castrations) and were so callously keeping them away. One mama cow in particular kept getting closer to me, with her big face and BIG BIG TEETH, and yelling at me. And no one was concerned! Turns out she never bit me, but it was close. So stay safe. hee.

    Also, have fun in Tulsa. We used to live there and man I love Brookside. BBD is super fun for breakfast.

  38. 38
    Dawn in CA says:

    Just found your blog via thepioneerwoman.com. Nice writing and photos! Looks like a crazy fun day on the Ranch. I would be willing to sacrifice my bottom for a day riding horses and herding cattle (or, cows and calves, as the case may be). :)

  39. 39

    That is fantastic! Have a great time! We will all try to get over our envy! Not for the sore bottoms, but the beauty & the food!

  40. 40

    Once again all my “friends” are invited to a sleepover and I’m not invited. This blogosphere is so intertwined and amazingingly amusing! I would love to be a fly on the wall to hear all of you together! Oh, wait…maybe there’ll be a Big Boo Rocks the Pioneer webcast. I’ll be waiting. It’s the least you can do for us. Have a great time!! As if you wouldn’t ;)

  41. 41

    How fun! I am jealous, I will go ahead and confess it now. It must be so much fun to have all of you together!

    Question (say that in your head ala Dwight Schrute): With the aforementioned stress that you and Sophie express about sleeping situations having to be just right, how’s the Lodge and the early mornings working for you?

  42. 42

    My daughter rode a horse when she was about 14 and ended up with a cyst in the WORST possible place because of it. Be careful, Melanie. Be very careful.

  43. 43

    How fun is that…all except for getting up a 5:00am. I’d love to know the last time you were on a horse? Seriously, you are a very brave women. The last time I was on a horse was 35 years ago and it sat down in a mud puddle, while I was still on his back. Ugh.

    Have fun and take lots of pictures of The Lodge.

  44. 44

    Love the pictures! How wierd that my blog-reading worlds are colliding! Have fun!

  45. 45

    How fun is that! I’m sure it was fun to see MM on his own turf (not on foreign soil).

  46. 46

    Would that possibly be the horse that ran away with the little punk a while back? You might want to check that out (just saying) ROFLMAO

  47. 47

    Wowee! Working cattle, huh? I’m impressed. I’m sure it was an experience and quite fun with the others around.

  48. 48

    I’m not jealous or envious (why do people say that?), but why were you invited? What was the purpose of your visit?

  49. 49

    Love this! How much fun! Good luck with that bottom. Hopefully there is some good food to take your mind off of it. Or some good drugs…

  50. 50

    Murmuring the Lord’s Prayer made me laugh along with the poor little fellow giving you the eye!!!!

    Have so much fun ok??? Pretend like I’m there too ok?? Cuz i wanna have that kind of fun too ok???

    Hugs~

  51. 51
    Heather says:

    So my husband just informed me that Ed passed today, if they would stop showing headlines for Iran I might of known that he passed today. Sorry for my ignorant comment earlier, it was earyl, kind of.

  52. 52

    I should get a prize or something. I guessed yesterday you were headed to the ranch! Have fun!

  53. 53
    Heather says:

    And apparently I can’t spell or use punctuation. Who knows if I even spelled that right.

  54. 54

    Wow, two of my favorite bloggers together. I hope you have a fantastic time. I hope this isn’t offensive I know you are VERY popular, but I just wonder how many hits your blog is going to get from Ree linking to you.

  55. 55

    You go on with your bad 5:15 AM bad self. I’ll just say tucked in nice and cozy in my bed :)

  56. 56

    You’re so cute on a horse!

  57. 57

    Girlfriend, just wait til the morning, because those muscles that ache now? Will feel like they have been pounded with a meat tenderizer by the time you get up! Bruises? Quite possible. And I’m hoping SOMEONE will take a pic of your bowlegged stride, because there really will be no other way to walk. Can’t be helped.. that’s the way of the saddle. Just hope none of those ticked-off cows decide to charge, because 20 Minute Shred or not, you’re goin’ down. Kudos for your bravery in riding while the others wimped out, though….

  58. 58

    Yep, life on the farm starts early. I guess your eye balls were shocked to be up at such an undecent hour.

    That’s what naps are for. :)

  59. 59

    No you didn’t ride a horse on Ree’s Ranch?!

    That’s totally on my bucket list. :)

  60. 60

    You’re sure that PW and you are talking about the same woman? Funny to read both hers and your account of the day.
    Eveline.

  61. 61

    OMG. I am SOOOO jealous. When you said you were going to Oklahoma I had a sneaking suspicion. I so wish I go there too! I actually made one of her wonderful cakes last night for my Ladies Circle. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/07/yogurt-marmalade-cake-to-die-for/

    I hope one day to meet both of you!!!!

  62. 62

    You crack me up!!! :)

  63. 63

    My bottom is twitching in sympathy… totally hilarious commentary! Of course no-one is really feeling sorry for you, getting to ride the range with MM and Cowboy Tim. Are you serious?

    Ah well, if I cannot visit for real (being just a TAD far away) then your glimpse is the next best thing!! Thanks for sharing…
    :-)
    BB

  64. 64

    Cool. Yes, it does have a LONESOME DOVE feel. Except without the Indians, and you get to wear jeans instead of a dress like Miss Lorena.

    I want to know if there was sheet cake, Or cobbler, Or brisket, Or mashed pototoes…or lasagna…

  65. 65
    Kelly G. says:

    That is so great! I read both of your blogs every day and just feel better for having done so. I’m making Ree’s best sheet cake ever today as a matter of fact for my dad’s 70th birthday. Hope you are having a wonderful time and again, thanks for making my day better!

  66. 66

    Any blogpost that begins with a reference to one of my favorite books/movies/miniseries/whatevers gets my attention. So glad Ree mentioned you – I’m an instant fan!

  67. 67

    Your posture is admirable on that horse; you should win the prize for Best City Cowgirl evah. Shannon and Sophie have no idea what they missed…!

    Or, lol, maybe they do ;).

  68. 68

    So funny, way to go cowgirl!!! :)

  69. 69

    Wow! I had no idea you were so udderly famous. Too cool.
    -FringeGirl

  70. 70

    Blogs come to life! You LUCKY!! I also hear you are meeting up with Kelly from Kelly’s Korner. MORE PICS. of BOO and Ree PLEASE!!

  71. 71
    Natalie @ I AM (not) says:

    Well, shoot fire, you were so close you coulda spit on my house. Well, okay, I was really about an hour and a half away. Glad you had fun! Tell your sis Hi!

  72. 72

    So if I invited you three big-wigs to the mountains of WV, would y’all come? Seriously, I’d love to have you. We’d eat lots of chips and salsa and even find some bacon for Boo Mama. You totally rocked that horse. Sore bum and all.

  73. 73

    Awww, you know we all totally want to be YOU and Sophie today. What a fun trip, hope it’s a wonderful memory for all of you. If I was there, I’d totally be on a horse too! Can’t wait to get the scoop from Sophie when she gets back to B’ham.

    And, we hear tell there’s a meetup with Kelly & Harper too. Another fun time, love that girl!

  74. 74
    Janet (aka JT) says:

    THIS is where you were going? NO WAY!!! Oh, I’m so jealous!!! How awesome!!! OH, the food! And REE! The ranch! So. Very. Very. Jealous.

  75. 75

    Although I don’t know either one of you, it is so fun to see two of my favorite bloggers together! I read on PW’s site that you were visting her, and then came over to read about your stay. Too fun.
    I kind of feel like,”Who cares that you are leaving this comment, Christina,” but at the same time, the internet makes the world feel small. You guys both have a way of writing that lets people feel like they know you. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

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