Well, Hazel went to the doctor yesterday and received an official diagnosis of bronchitis. She was sent home with a prescription for all manner of steroids, antibiotics, inhalers and cough medicines. Which she promptly filled at the pharmacy even though she suspects all these fancy medications are a big scam that started when Medicare took over. In her day, all a person needed to stay healthy was to take a little exercise and drink an occasional glass of homemade wine to keep away the sugar diabetes.
Speaking of sugar, it has come to my attention that Halloween is just a little over two weeks away. The good news is Caroline has already picked out a butterfly costume, complete with silver sequin clip-on earrings because that’s what all the butterflies wear these days, and it’s just sitting in her closet waiting for the big day. I kind of hoped she’d go with my suggestion of being a black cat so I could make a black tutu and paint little whiskers on her face, but my sad little suggestion never had a chance against the sparkly clip-on earrings.
The bad news, at least the bad news for Gulley, is that Will has decided there is no other costume option for him this year than to be Big Toe. And for those of you unfamiliar with Big Toe, here he is:
Shockingly, there is no Big Toe costume available in the aisles at Target.
Big Toe is part of a line of stuffed animals called Ugly Dolls. I personally think they’re adorable. And Will feels the same way. He has at least ten of them, along with an Ugly Doll lunch box, journal, and assorted books. There is no greater show of affection than when Will informs you that he’d like for you to draw in his Ugly Doll journal or to go with you to the store to help you choose an Ugly Doll of your very own.
So, since some of you seem to be a little crafty (I mean that in the Martha Stewart sense, not the sneaky and backhanded sense) Gulley and I thought y’all might have some suggestions as to how one might go about making a Big Toe costume. Please, help us Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re our only hope. I would so love for Will to be able to add “and she makes Big Toe costumes” right next to “and she builds floats” on my resume’.
As for Hazel?
She couldn’t care less about the whole thing. She thinks Halloween is just an excuse for children, who most likely already have way too much quit in them, to roam the neighborhoods like a bunch of ne’er-do-wells begging for candy. If she wanted to share her Luden’s cherry cough drops with the neighborhood, she’d move to one of them foreign countries and become a Communist.