Today is my 36th birthday. I’m officially on the fast track to 40 but, in the whole scheme of things, the 40’s are the new 30’s, so really, it’s like I’m only 26. But without all the hours spent trying to get my hair to look like Jennifer Aniston’s on “Friends”.
Oh, who am I kidding? I will spend the rest of my life trying to get my hair to look like Jennifer Aniston’s.
Anyway, since today is my birthday, I’m handing the blog over to P. It’s not like he has anything going on. Well, other than lying around talking on his cell phone about his back surgery and calling me to come lift up the toilet seat. And have I not mentioned that I have a broken toe? And it’s my birthday?
I’m taking the day off.
I originally told him he ought to write 36 things about me in honor of my 36th birthday, but he said to come up with 36 things he’d have to include stuff like, “she has brown hair” or “she has two arms”. And as entertaining as that might be, I told him to stick to 10 things about me that y’all may or may not know.
Or care to know.
And by the way, I am blindly turning over the blog and have no idea what is about to be revealed. See how good I am at surrendering control? I am, I really am.
Really, I am.
Now I’m going to go sit somewhere and hyperventilate.
And now, here’s P.
I thought I’d treat y’all to a look into my world…10 things you wouldn’t know about Big Mama.
1. She’s outrageously funny, beyond what she lets out because, after all, she is a lady.
2. She’s a published poet. I’m not sure what idiot published her…none of her stuff rhymes.
3. She’s a total klutz. We always joke that my gravestone will read “…and he died at the loving hands of his wife.”
4. Deep down, so far down only a husband could bring it out, lives her fiery Italian temper. Luckily, so far the only casualty has been a cordless phone and some sheetrock (I’ll let her elaborate).
5. She’s a total chicken and can’t even watch trailers to scary movies.
6. She’s a great mom; just the right balance of teacher, nurturer, friend and disciplinarian. “Hey Caroline, if she reaches for the cordless phone, RUN”.
7. She’s such a bad skier that she once faked an injury to get a snowmobile ride off the mountain. Of course her tight-fitting outfit probably helped a little. “Um excuse me, her ankle is down there”.
8. She can’t stand supense. So much so that I promise you she is reading this at 12:00 and .0000000000000000001 am.
9. She has an eye for style and decorating that leaves others envious, and her cooking…I gained 30 pounds in 2 months…that’s what I’m talking about.
10. Her taste in men is impeccable.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Big Mama.
Love,
P