My name is Melanie and, in some strange twist of fate, I’m also known as Big Mama because I started this blog in July of 2006 when my daughter, Caroline, was not quite three years old and I was in the process of convincing her that BIG girls use the potty and BIG girls don’t have pacifiers, thus she thought BIG was the highest compliment in the land and began referring to me as BIG MAMA.
When I started this blog I thought it would last a week and eventually fall into the category of things I have started and not finished. It is a lengthy and distinguished list because I am very disciplined and task oriented, except not.
However, I told my best friend, Gulley, about it. Then I told my husband. And here I am nine years later. No one is more shocked by this turn of events than me.
Anyway, this is about me trying to live the life of motherhood with some semblance of grace and dignity, yet still managing to knock over large quantities of produce while grocery shopping.
I blame the racecar cart for the majority of society’s ills.
I am a child of the 70’s, a teenager of the 80’s, and a college student of the 90’s. This explains my love of bad T.V., novelty rap music, and the denim vest in my closet with which I cannot part.
I married my true love, Perry, in August of 1997 and gave birth to my other true love, Caroline, in August of 2003.
August is a big month for me.
I’ve lived in the great state of Texas all of my life. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. And I’m a proud graduate of Texas A&M, class of ’93.
Except I didn’t actually graduate until 1994 because I was busy working on my degree in Aerospace Engineering. I kid because the reality is I had to take basic math courses and the school of engineering at A&M wouldn’t have even allowed me to cross the threshold of their building.
Actually, I stayed to experience one more football season. Because I am dedicated to great causes like that.
I worked as a pharmaceutical sales rep for ten years and finally, mercifully, retired in April of 2007 after way too many years of trying to intelligently answer questions about the pharmacodynamics of various medications and hauling Chinese food around in my car in a futile attempt to appease nurses. Since then I have spent my time adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom and trying to limit myself to one Diet Coke a day.
It’s not easy, but someone has to do it.
That’s who I am. Feel free to stick around.
Oh and I guess I should add that I’ve written two New York Times bestselling books, Sparkly Green Earrings and The Antelope in the Living Room. My third book, Nobody’s Cuter Than You, will release on April 7, 2015. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any other questions that I haven’t already covered here.