Hello.
I’m so glad you could join me for this momentous occasion. What occasion you ask?
I took Caroline to eat at IHOP for the first time in her life yesterday.
I know. I’m a terrible mother. It’s like she hasn’t had air until now.
In my defense, I bet Prince George will be at least ten before the Duke and Duchess take him to an IHOP.
Our day began uneventfully because it’s summer and that’s how most of our days have looked over the last several weeks. But eventually I realized we needed to run some errands because we were out of dishwasher detergent and dog food and we needed new chairs for the beach. Also, I didn’t want to clean the bathrooms and that was my other option for the day.
(I don’t mean to make our lives sound like a modern day Camelot. It’s just how we live.)
(Also, maybe life would be more exciting if I was like Des on The Bachelorette and found out at the last minute that the love of my life wasn’t into me. How could she have misread the signals? It’s not like they had only known each other for five weeks while filming a reality show. Except that they had only known each other for five weeks while filming a reality show.)
(No. I’m not actually watching The Bachelorette this season but I am still reading the recaps because it’s not like I’ve had a personality transplant.)
Anyway, we ran to Academy which ranks as one of my least favorite destinations. But I felt like it would probably have the best selection of beach chairs. Sadly, I was wrong. There was only one style of beach chair left and it was the kind my grandparents used to have with the itchy mesh tape-like stuff. No thank you. If I wanted a waffle imprint on my rear end, well, I’d be weird.
So we left Academy empty-handed and realized we were starving. Probably because it was 1:30 at this point and we hadn’t eaten lunch. Time gets away from you in the summer. I threw out our usual lunch options and then Caroline said, “I really wish I could eat some blueberry pancakes.”
And that’s when I realized I have failed as a mother in the “Open 24 Hours Restaurant Experience” which includes the option of eating breakfast at ANY POINT during the day. It’s pure crazy madness. I told her there was a place we could go where she could get blueberry pancakes complete with whipped cream on top. A place where the pancakes flow like milk and honey.
We walked into IHOP and she just looked around for a minute. Taking it all in. I understood because I have never walked in an IHOP that doesn’t make you feel a little bit like you’ve stepped back in time.
She ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Frooty, Jr. breakfast with blueberry pancakes, a sunny side up egg, a link of sausage and a piece of bacon. And she ate it all.
Without even seeing you I feel like you aren’t taking in the enormity of that statement. She ate ALL that food. She cleaned her plate. This has happened maybe three other times in her whole entire life. She is a child who has been known to live on a cheese stick and a solitary grape for three days.
As she wiped the blueberry syrup from her mouth, she announced, “THIS IS THE BEST PLACE EVER!”
This was the moment a lifelong fan was born.
After we enjoyed our delicious breakfast for lunch we headed to Target where we found fantastic beach chairs complete with cupholders in the armrest and a built-in pillow.
And, thus, it was the perfect day.
Except for the part where we went to Academy.