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You are here: Home / Another day / The parade of crazy

The parade of crazy

April 22, 2009 ·

Before I say anything else today, I believe my feelings about y’all are best summed up in the words of the immortal Coca-Cola commercial:

I’d like to teach the internet to sing
In perfect harmony
I’d like to buy the internet a Coke
And keep it company

Y’all are the best. Group hug.

About two years ago, Gulley decided it was time to enroll Will into a preschool program. She knew that I adored Caroline’s preschool, but was a little apprehensive about signing him up to attend that same school. Her reason can be summed up in three words: SHOEBOX FIESTA FLOAT.

(Is shoebox one word? If not, her reason can be summed up in four words: SHOE BOX FIESTA FLOAT)

She had been witness to her best friend turning into some sort of lunatic who called various McDonalds restaurants and begged them to hold Happy Meal toys. She saw my dark side. It was kind of like when Obi Wan Kenobi had proof that Anakin had darkness under the surface.

Actually, I don’t know if it was like that at all because I have very limited knowledge of anything related to Star Wars. I just wanted to throw that out there. Plus, I am trying to expand my Star Wars horizons because the other day I was volunteering in Caroline’s classroom and a little boy asked me some question like “Do you know what the Prince Commander of Blah-Blah-Blah and Rebel Force Blah-Blah-Blah when Blah-Blah-Blah?” I honestly had absolutely no clue what kind of answer he was looking for so I just answered “TWO?”

Have you ever had a five-year-old look at you like they pity you? Yeah, me too.

Anyway, because I have some pride issues involving my ability to make shoebox fiesta floats, I promised Gulley that when the day came that Will had to take part in the shoebox float parade, I would help her make the float.

That day arrived two weeks ago.

Gulley received the note from school informing her that it was time for the kids to make their floats. She called me up so we could schedule a day to hit Michael’s for the necessary supplies and then go back to my house to assemble the whole thing. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited to have the chance to use my hot glue gun.

Wow. I’m so embarrassed that I just admitted that.

The goods news is that Gulley had the float theme all thought out. Her sister’s in-laws had brought her boys the entire Happy Meal collection of “Madagascar” animals over Thanksgiving (with the exception of Gloria because they must be anti-hippo) and she’d been saving them for such a time as this. I have never been more proud to call her my friend.

Last Tuesday we met for Starbucks and then headed to Michael’s. We purchased ribbon, glitter paper, and other various float materials. It never occurred to either one of us that maybe we should purchase some sort of life.

We went back to my house and began to work on the float, stopping only for lunch and the occasional Diet Coke. At one point it did occur to us that maybe it was a little bizarre that we were spending our entire day working on a float for a four-year-old who would have been just as happy, if not happier, if we handed him a shoebox with a Whoopie Cushion glued to the top, but then the hot glue gun began to burn my fingers and I forgot what I was talking about.

Anyway, by the time Gulley left to pick up Will from school, my living room floor was covered in glitter and we had most of the float finished. I instructed Gulley to go home and let Will glue on the rest of the tissue paper flowers because, after all, it’s his float. It’s not like we were going to do the WHOLE thing for him.

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Sure, some people may say the zebra-print arch with “I like to move it” is a little over the top considering that most four-year-olds can’t even read, but to those people I say that you’ve never experienced having your Barbie Island Princess float put to shame by a float that’s pulled by an actual battery-operated horse.

I put my heart, soul, and the tips of my fingers that were burnt by the hot glue gun into that float and I was proud. After all, it would be my only opportunity to put my OCD tendencies on display this year since Caroline’s Kindergarten doesn’t do floats.

Or so I thought.

Two days later Caroline came home from school and I was going through her take home folder. Inside was a note letting parents know that the Fiesta Shoebox Float parade was next Thursday and all floats needed to be turned in by Tuesday, April 21.

I was caught totally unprepared.

There had been no hording of Happy Meal toys, no planning, no envisioning what type of theme would make a great float. How am I supposed to work under those conditions? I asked Caroline what type of float she wanted to make and I could hear the passion in her voice as she said, “I don’t care.”

I scoured our playroom in a desperate attempt to figure out some sort of plan using something we had on hand, but a float with the theme of “Dried-Out Playdough” has been done to death. Finally, I noticed the Little Mermaid Ariel Barbie smirking at me from the top of the Barbie bin. We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox.

Caroline loved the idea of a mermaid float. We went to Michael’s to buy yet more craft supplies and then came home and got to work.

Here is the finished mermaid float.

img_6500

img_65031

You will notice that Ariel is kind of reclining back on her hands. It’s not that she’s really that relaxed, but rather that I had to hot glue her hands to the float to get her to stay since that big flipper tends to make her a little bottom heavy.

Caroline brought the float to school yesterday and I have to say I struggled with my float pride as I watched her carry it into school until I saw a little girl walking behind her who was carrying a float with an entire log cabin built on top from what appeared to be real wood.

Five dollars says it’s the same kid that had the battery-operated horse last year.

Show off.

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  1. Indiana Keetha

    April 22, 2009 at 5:16 am

    You girls and your shoe box floats!!!

    My kids never made those, but any projects they had, I made them do. I told them I’d done my bit with projects when I was in school.

    Maybe it was because back then I didn’t even know what a hot glue gun was.

  2. Terry in Indiana

    April 22, 2009 at 5:57 am

    LOVE IT!!! Because I raised 4 children and I am the survivor of 6 skateboard floats (I helped 2 of my friends!) and I can tell you I DO NOT MISS that part motherhood. At all. When my last child “graduated” from elementary school, all I could think about is “No more popsicle stick covered wagons! No more toothpick and marshmallow models of the White House!….”

    By the way…your floats are beautiful! Hope Caroline appreciates the awesome mother she has!

  3. the domestic fringe

    April 22, 2009 at 6:03 am

    Ok, this post just cracked me up. Wait until you hit 3rd grade and you’re doing science projects. I just finished mine and I’m proud to say that I got 100%. I was feeling pretty good about my scrapbooked display board until I went to school and saw the other projects. Do you some kid’s parents are scientists? That’s just not fair.

    -FringeGirl

  4. Becky

    April 22, 2009 at 6:08 am

    Oh my goodness! You are out of control!! The kids of you and Gully are lucky to have you as mothers. My creative genes wouldn’t even come close to creating something like this if it was to happen for my kids. Truly impressive.

  5. Stephanie

    April 22, 2009 at 6:23 am

    I love the floats! Though, I am a little intimidated as my days of shoebox floats are still ahead. I can hunt you down in a few years for advice, right?

  6. Natalie

    April 22, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Those are amazing! I LOVE the second one esspecially. Likely because I am a mommy of three girls and have never even seen Madagascar! LOL You must have spent many hours on this one! I am very impressed and know I could never top that!

  7. Amanda @ Serenity Now

    April 22, 2009 at 6:28 am

    I love them both!!! You guys could have some sort of side business creating these floats for the craft-challenged parents in Texas! You do quick work too!!! 🙂

  8. Michelle

    April 22, 2009 at 6:34 am

    OK, so that is awesome! and I spit out my coffee with this:

    “We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox”

    I love it…..and I have the same confession that coincidentally applies to today. We (this really should be an “I”) are participating in an International Day with our local homeschooling group.

    We jumped on Portugal as I have some great friends with all kinds of Portuguese paraphernalia…..including the costume I am forcing, er wanting my daughter to wear today.

    So my obsessive tendencies came out very ugly yesterday when I told my daughter that I hoped she won’t color out of the lines on her Portugal map….*bag on head* but I, errrrr WE worked so hard on this display with coordinating matted tidbits of information that she didn’t even research….

    I did suck it up, sat on my hands as she glue sticked her version of a rooster smack dab in the middle of my perfection…..it took every ounce of willpower to not accidentally tear it when putting my finishing touches of red,green and yellow ribbons and glitter.

    …..because these projects *are* a reflection of our parenting, isn’t it? HA HA!

    anyway…..I babbled away as usual, but it is so funny that you posted about this today.

    Peace~
    *~Michelle~*

  9. Carrie

    April 22, 2009 at 6:41 am

    Wow – your crafting prowess is amazing. What an adorable float you made, even on last-minute notice! 🙂

  10. The Secret Life of Kat

    April 22, 2009 at 6:45 am

    SHOOT!!!

    No one told my that I needed to be crafty to be a mom! Crafts make me break out in hives.

    I DO have a hot glue gun, but I just use it to stick stuff – to other stuff. Mainly broken stuff.

    Hmmm…do you freelance your fiesta float skillz?

  11. lavonda

    April 22, 2009 at 6:46 am

    I love them! We’ve never had to make a float here in this part of the country.
    Looks like fun!

    We did however, just have to make a sarcophogaus for Emily’s 2nd grade class. They’d been studying Egyptian culture, and when Emily came home with her ‘project information’ I thought, “Easy. Paint a shoebox. Put a Barbie in it.”

    But nooo.
    I’ve reproduced a perfectionist.
    Who had to mold a sarcophagus out of clay that looks like King Tut’s. Then spray paint it. Then paint it with assorted colors on the lid with the face on it and everything. and God forbid Barbie go into that box wrapped up in toilet paper like a mummy.

    Like any good woman, she sent her man to do the dirty work for her.

    God rest Ken’s soul.

  12. Michele

    April 22, 2009 at 6:54 am

    I love your masterpieces! You are so creative. It looks like a lot of fun.

  13. Erin

    April 22, 2009 at 7:02 am

    I have never heard of the shoebox floats idea, very fun. Maybe we will bring this tradition to Ohio!!

  14. Darla

    April 22, 2009 at 7:21 am

    So hilarious…my blog post today is partly about how…when asked to volunteer to help teach the 2nd graders the dance for the “Bugz Play” at school, I accidently hit “reply all” and said “I’ll help teach!!! I like to move it, move it.” STILL living that one down.

    They didn’t ask me to help. I ended up taping up bugs on the cafeteria windows instead.

  15. kerry @ colored with memories

    April 22, 2009 at 7:24 am

    group hug indeed! you rock!

    your posts about floats crack me up…even more than your usual posts that crack me up…what does that say about me? probably that i’m not ready to enter the world of competitive project making! oh wait…it’s not actually competitive… 😉

  16. Susan B.

    April 22, 2009 at 7:25 am

    GREAT JOB! Here in SC we don’t get to have shoebox floats. Instead, they have Charlotte’s Web shoebox projects. And, yes, competition is fierce! 🙂

  17. Keyona

    April 22, 2009 at 7:27 am

    That is too funny! I am so glad I haven’t had to deal with that big of a project yet. I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself from taking over the whole thing!

  18. Candice

    April 22, 2009 at 7:27 am

    My 6 year old just came up to the computer and said, “Mommy, it’s SOOO BEAUTIFUL!! Can you make me one???” Thanks a lot, Big Mama. 🙂

  19. [email protected]

    April 22, 2009 at 7:28 am

    Well, it’s beautiful. Do you also do chrysalis habitats? I have to do a “creative” chrysalis habitat so my little one’s catterpillar turns into a happy, beautiful butterfly.

  20. Rebekah

    April 22, 2009 at 7:31 am

    Looks like you work well under pressure!

  21. Teressa

    April 22, 2009 at 7:33 am

    This is crazy! My daughter is 24, and I want to have a shoebox float parade. Maybe Sunday School, grandchildren someday??????? I can’t wait!!! Yours is beautiful, I want to compete. Let’s do an online competition. Ha ha

  22. k&c's mom

    April 22, 2009 at 7:34 am

    I am forwarding this to my entire list. HOW FUNNY! I teach first grade and I’m always wondering about how much parents “help”.Short answer: two. Drat. That was the Star Wars answer. Was Caroline happy with it?

  23. kelly s.

    April 22, 2009 at 7:34 am

    I’m sorry for your misery of a last minute project….but the idea of a shoebox float is TOTALLY AWESOME. That is so fun! Geesh, why did I have to grow up in a boring kindergarten????? I had to walk to school uphill both ways and never got this kind of FUN. 🙁

    :0
    Kelly in Michigan

  24. Cindi in Boston

    April 22, 2009 at 7:45 am

    Love it! Your blog is so refreshing! I love the daily updates…

    Those floats are awesome, by the way.. I was just telling my husband the other day that once our daughter is in preschool, we are going to be collecting a lot of junk. What do you do with all of her projects?

  25. Susan

    April 22, 2009 at 7:46 am

    I recently spent an entire Friday night with my sister-in-law “helping” my nephew make a scrapbook about his recent trip to Washington DC. It included everything from photgraphs to pamphlets to ticket stubs to the barf bag from the plane! We, I mean he, made a 103!

  26. Nicole

    April 22, 2009 at 7:52 am

    Oh my I’m suddenly thankful my son’s preschool doesn’t have any projects like this. We barely got his “About Me” poster completed. My major accomplishment these days is making sure my family has clean undies. I’m afraid the pressure of a shoebox float might do me in.

  27. Pam D

    April 22, 2009 at 8:00 am

    At the beginning of this school year, the 3rd grade teachers had a meeting with the parents. I think I might have cried tears of joy when the lead teacher said, “All of the major projects this year will be done in the classroom.” Several of the parents looked stunned; one even raised her hand to ask why. As if it weren’t obvious. But yes, the teacher did reply, “Because we want to see the students’ work, not the parents’.” I really thought a couple of the parents might have nervous breakdowns, right then and there.
    The floats? They were beautiful. I have never seen a shoebox float before; it must not be a Georgia thang. And honestly, I’m glad.

  28. Dee

    April 22, 2009 at 8:00 am

    I HATE doing projects! My daughter finally does her own – in high school. My son has only one hand, so they are tough for him, and I am not crafty. I usually just pray the teacher will take pity on us… LOL

  29. Stacy

    April 22, 2009 at 8:01 am

    My dad once cut up one of my mom’s dining room chairs to make my brother a log cabin for history class.

    Don’t even get me started on the drama that was the soapbox derby during boy scouts…

  30. Tara G

    April 22, 2009 at 8:03 am

    I’m roaring inside because the kids are still sleeping!

  31. Abby Tucker

    April 22, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Okay awesome…just flippin’ awesome! I will so be you when my almost 2 year old gets to pre-school. Although I don’t know that I could put together such an amazing mermaid float on the fly. I am a planner after all.

  32. Mel

    April 22, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Wow! Great floats. I second the idea for all of us to make floats and have an online competition. It could be like your ugly sweater contest.

  33. Lisa

    April 22, 2009 at 8:14 am

    I just love how parenting brings out some universal issues (such as school projects). But when B.Mama applies them in specific situations, I can’t contain my happiness.

    Maybe it is because humor, sarcasm, self-deprecation and perfectionism that falls short of perfect are 4 things that really help get me through a day with a smile.

    Thank you for taking the time to archive what I have come to think of as my own personal kind of “extra-strength crazy”. You are a gift!

  34. Tammy H.

    April 22, 2009 at 8:15 am

    My 3rd grader has a science project due of Monday. Trust me, the word “science” takes all of the fun out of a project. Not even a hot glue gun can bring you joy for this one.

  35. Robyn (3GirlsMom)

    April 22, 2009 at 8:16 am

    You let her carry it in all by herself? HAVE YOU GONE MAD, WOMAN? She could’ve tripped. She could’ve run into inanimate objects like doors or brick columns. She could’ve easily smashed to smithereens a project that she (you) worked very hard on before ever having turned it in.

    Oh, wait. That only happens to me.

    Twice.

  36. Michelle

    April 22, 2009 at 8:16 am

    I was sitting her quietly eating my Cheerios while reading this. When I got to “we’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox”, I was laughed so hard I thought I was going to choke to death. This was hysterical!

  37. Lazy Mom Leslie

    April 22, 2009 at 8:18 am

    I love that making a fiesta parade float is part of the curriculum here in TX!

  38. Leigh

    April 22, 2009 at 8:19 am

    I wish we were neighbors.

  39. Amy

    April 22, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Okay, I guess I should have enlisted your help too, because you and Gulley’s floats make mine look as if Sarah had done it herself….dang it and I was feeling really good about it until now, I guess that will prepare me for the competition we’ll face tomorrow, or I need to make another run to Michael’s!

  40. Sufficient Grace

    April 22, 2009 at 8:31 am

    Love both of those floats!!! Why isn’t Fiesta a Texas State wide event? I guess the San Antonionians (San Antonites?) get Fiesta while here in Dallas we get the State Fair. You should go ahead and buy to big blue ribbons and stick one on each float!

  41. deanna

    April 22, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Great…Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head.

    (‘I like to move it, move it!’)

    And those Madagascar Happy Meal toys? Well, let’s just say I found the off switch to them after one night I crept into my son’s room to put some toys in his toy box while he was sleeping and I heard ‘You guys are crazy! I really need a doctor! Just smile and wave boys!’

  42. Lisa

    April 22, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Wow! Amazing floats!

    My 3rd grader’s science project is due Thursday. We spent all of 10 minutes making an egg float in salt water. I feel like an under-achiever.

    Thanks for the laughs this morning!

  43. Laurie

    April 22, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Well, I am impressed by these floats. I will admit that it makes me want to do something crafty and I am a little jealous that my kids school did not do a shoe box parade float. The best we got was to put feathers on a turkey drawing for Thanksgiving.

    Have a great day!

  44. PinesLakeRedhead

    April 22, 2009 at 8:41 am

    “We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox.”

    That, my dear, is a motto I can use in my everyday work environment.

    Awesome job on the floats!

  45. Rhonda

    April 22, 2009 at 8:43 am

    I just posted the other day about the rite of passage for boys Star Wars is. I sat through four of them this weekend. The floats are great! I have never been more glad that my school does not require that of my boys. They would have to be camo & ammo floats for us because that is about all we would have!

  46. Sunni

    April 22, 2009 at 8:43 am

    If the day ever comes that I need a shoebox or shoe box float…I’m totally calling you.

    Is it sad that I really want that Madagascar float? I mean…I really want it. It’s just awesome.

  47. Tammie

    April 22, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Seriously, these are awesome. When I have kids and they have to do this kind of stuff, they are so screwed. My creativity is not creative. At. All.
    Maybe we’ll homeschool.

  48. Kim

    April 22, 2009 at 8:49 am

    ….and to think that I get blamed for being over the top….

  49. rrmama

    April 22, 2009 at 8:57 am

    You and Gulley totally rock!

  50. Courtney

    April 22, 2009 at 8:59 am

    The floats are so cute! I never did anything like that when I was little, but now that I see the floats I wish I had!!

  51. Jean M.

    April 22, 2009 at 8:59 am

    I’ve lived here in Tx for almost 10 years and still have not had the privilege of doing a fiesta float. Bummer!
    I really thought you were just going to use Gully’s float.
    That would be so fun for us all to do a contest for a float. I obviously have no life.

  52. Patty

    April 22, 2009 at 9:01 am

    I LOVE it! Girl, you out did yourself! I have to say that Caroline’s enthusiam cracked me up! She always brings a smile to my face. You are more creative than I would be and this is the first time I have ever heard of a shoebox fiesta parade float. Maybe we all should have one in blog land. LOL Can you see it now? :))

  53. Molly Pearce

    April 22, 2009 at 9:05 am

    I love y’alls shoebox floats!!! They are too cute!!! Have a great day!!!
    ~Molly P

  54. Becca

    April 22, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Haha this is sort of making me dread my baby growing up and requiring me to make elaborate craft projects. I cant even keep the house clean. On the other hand, I’d far prefer making floats from plastic creatures to vacuuming and, especially, cleaning the bathroom.

  55. Kathy

    April 22, 2009 at 9:14 am

    I live in south Texas too and we never celebrate Fiesta down here either. Must definitely be a SA thing.

    Those floats are amazing. I have no such crafting talent and shiver at the thought of having to help my girls do a school project.

  56. cindi

    April 22, 2009 at 9:16 am

    i am missing fiesta so much…does it make ME a person to be pitied that my best fiesta memories of the last 2 years are reading your blogs on the shoe-box-fiesta-float?

    hilarious!!! and btw, the floats are awesome.

  57. Dawn

    April 22, 2009 at 9:22 am

    You are hilarious and those floats are IMPRESSIVE to say the least. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that my kids will never have to have a shoebox float next to Caroline’s! My.Word. I’m feeling just a little weensy inadequate as a mother right now because it would take every creative brain cell in my head and then some to put something half that imaginative together!

    And I had to chuckle about hot glueing Ariel’s bottom to a shoebox! Thanks for that! =)

  58. Denise

    April 22, 2009 at 9:23 am

    Impressive!
    All I can say is that I know just why Gulley had to make a float without Gloria. It seems that McDonalds had decided to bestow all of the Gloria toys to our family during the Madagascar Happy Meal times. We have no less than 5 obnoxious hippos that declare, “alrighty boys!” from the depths of our toy box. Every time one of them sasses me while I’m trying to watch American Idol, I fish it out and toss it in the trash. I feel so ashamed now, thinking of all of the poor children out there that never had a chance to know her.

  59. Kayla

    April 22, 2009 at 9:29 am

    This is too funny. I always laugh when I read your posts, but this one is too true. My daughter had to make a Native American home for a project. I was really proud of “ours” until I caught a glimpse of some of them. One had an igloo made of sugar cubes. I think that family moved south…

  60. Jacquyn LeFevre

    April 22, 2009 at 9:31 am

    LOVE THE FLOATS!!! You all take this Fiesta thing SEROIOUSLY!!!!

  61. Jill

    April 22, 2009 at 9:37 am

    You crack me up! This post is definitely the highlight of my day. I mean, it is only 10:30, but it is doubtful anything can top “relaxed” Ariel Barbie being glued to a shoebox by both her bottom and her hands while being surrounded by tropical goodness! 🙂

  62. Jen Fitz

    April 22, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I remember making these floats at school. It was fun…and I am sure my mom did the same thing!

    P.S. As an ex-employee of Michaels I feel I should let you know that it is Michaels’ not Michael’s. 😉

  63. Amiee

    April 22, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Your float is just beautiful! You are very creative =)

  64. Amanda

    April 22, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Are you and Gulley going to be the moms who make homemade homecoming mums? Fabulous floats, ladies.

  65. Racer

    April 22, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Now we know why you took a week off of blogging…

  66. Alyssa

    April 22, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Those are both AWESOME!

  67. Amy

    April 22, 2009 at 10:17 am

    “It never occurred to either one of us that maybe we should purchase some sort of life.”

    I can’t stop laughing over this line – it reminds me of all the Best Friend adventures I have been a part of over the years!

  68. Melanie

    April 22, 2009 at 10:26 am

    I wish I could hot glue my butt to a box to balance out the fact that I’m bottom heavy.

  69. Jennifer

    April 22, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Oh.My.Lord. I don’t even really know how to respond to this except to say, Thank God I don’t live in San Antonio.

  70. Holly @ Crownlaiddown

    April 22, 2009 at 10:50 am

    This alone–“She had been witness to her best friend turning into some sort of lunatic who called various McDonalds restaurants and begged them to hold Happy Meal toys.”–made me smile so very big and laugh! I love your crazy, BIG heart!

    Everybody needs a Gulley–they understand our form of crazy, don’t they?

    And Oh Yeah! I’ve got your back. Mad as a wet hen was I.

  71. Kathy

    April 22, 2009 at 10:51 am

    PLEASE don’t let our preschool ever get wind of this.

    Wonderful job on these, but I just don’t want to have to do it. I’ll mail you all the supplies for you to make ours and then I’ll meet you in Austin to pick it up.

  72. Cydney

    April 22, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Too funny, I just wish you had some pictures of you and Gulley all into your work.

  73. Michelle

    April 22, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Lovely. Battery operated horses and log cabins do not in any way compare to large globs of glitter and flowers. Your CB radio handle should be “FF BB” (Fiesta Float Bling Bling, of course).

  74. J. Johnson

    April 22, 2009 at 11:39 am

    I haven’t laughed so hard in quite a while. Not to be disgusting, but I was drinking a diet Coke when I read about what you wrote about Will being okay with a whoopie cushion float – let’s just say I had to get some paper towels to clean off my computer screen!

    Thank you for making me laugh!

  75. Melissa Hutsell

    April 22, 2009 at 11:52 am

    OK…am I the only one who does NOT know what in the world IS a shoebox float? I mean seriously…it obviously doesn’t float…so that can’t be it. It isn’t the size of a car or have wheels so it can’t be in a real parade…so where exactly is this shoebox going to be floating? Are the strings on the front being attached to something? I mean, help me…I am from Ohio…we never made such a thing…though shoeboxes were made into Valentine boxes every year! Thanks for the help…M.

  76. Kimberly

    April 22, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    The thought of ever having to make one of those is enough to keep me from ever having kids! 🙂

  77. Lauren

    April 22, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    hahahahah! That post cracked me up! My 3yo son keeps asking me “momma, what so funny ’bout it?” Thanks for the laugh. And I’m impressed with those floats! very cute!

  78. Kelly

    April 22, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Thank you for brightening my dreary day – I am still laughing out loud! “We’ll see how much she’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox”. BTW, i’ve still got a scar on my finger from helping my GA’s hot glue stuff to a giant card they were sending to the soldiers eleventy years ago. Really put my self control to the test, being I was helping 10 year olds in a church setting, if you know what I mean. I can’t wait til Caroline has to do an insect collection!

  79. Madison

    April 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Loved when you said, “We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox.”

  80. Christa

    April 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Well, Slap me happy!! I thought I was the only one. Tee Hee

  81. Sandy

    April 22, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    I have just re-lived the Shoebox Mardi Gras Float days from my kids elementary school years. I still have hot glue scars on my hands from my intense desire to be Queen of the Crafty Moms! I have to say that seeing the pictures of the Fiesta floats really made me itch to do it all over again! I have so much more craft wisdom now! Thanks for brightening my day with memories!

  82. Tina

    April 22, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I can so relate to this post…..

    Been there done that!!!!!!!!!!

    BTW you are very creative…

  83. Tasha

    April 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Girl,I just love you!I am in tears from laughing so hard.Caroline sure is a blessed little girl to have you for a mama.

  84. jenni at talking hairdryer

    April 22, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Our Kindergarten has a Transportation Parade. You make some sort of transportation that is no smaller than a copy paper box, because you strap it to your child and make it look like your child is running that particular mode of transportation.

    They usually schedule it for the week after spring break . . . to give you a week to build it.

    When my son was in kinder we made a 4 wheeler. My girls will be in kinder next year. I’m already planning, since we’ll need TWO.

  85. Tasha

    April 22, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Girl,I just love you!I am in tears from laughing so hard.My daughter came out of her play room to see what was so funny.She loved the float by the way!Caroline sure is a blessed little girl to have you for a mama.

  86. Betsey

    April 22, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    I just think you are flipping hillarious! Love reading your blog each day…thanks for sharing!

  87. nicole

    April 22, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    1. So glad to live in a boring town with no kind of parade that needs to be reenacted via shoebox.

    2. So glad my children do not go to school with Caroline, because they would realize their mother totally slacks off when it comes to crafty things.

    3. Great float, way cooler than a log cabin. What does a log cabin have to do with Fiesta? Ariel is clearly partying hard, and that is all that matters.

  88. Lori

    April 22, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Oh my stars! Very nice floats.

    It’s official. I’m one of those bad Moms that didn’t do the shoebox float thing. Oh, there was a shoebox float, but I didn’t dare touch it with a 10 ft. pole. They were on their own. LOL

  89. Annette Standrod

    April 22, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    Awesome floats! I was an art major so I can’t wait to do these crafty projects. Now in the area of math homework… I can’t help much there.

  90. Shelly W

    April 22, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    “How am I supposed to work under those conditions?” O.K., that made me laugh. Real hard.

  91. Angela Nazworth

    April 22, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Oh I love your shoebox float posts…they always crack me up…your talent is vast. And I relate with the OCD tendencies, I was once in charge of Moppets crafts and I was determined that those little 2-4 year-olds would be creating and taking home museum worthy works of foam art, etc. I had a bad experience though that involved me super gluing pipecleaners to my thumb.

  92. Jaime

    April 22, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    We live in SA and my pre-schoolers fiesta parade is tomorrow. We did a batman one and I almost hurt my son who kept throwing the crepe paper over our two story banister. If by “family projects” they mean yell at everyone in your family for the rest of the night, I think we accomplished it. If you or anyone cares…I will post our batman float’s pictures tomorrow after the big parade!
    🙂

  93. Sterling

    April 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    You have me scared to death!! We are moving to San Antonio in the next few months…I will either have to find a preschool with no shoebox fiesta float thing or start stocking up on Happy Meal toys!!!!

  94. lindalou

    April 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Both floats are great. We never had to make these up here when my kids were in school. We did have to do a couple diarammas. (Don’t know if I spelled that right.) They are basically scenes set inside a shoebox. Painful.

    On the Star Wars front. I have a 3 year old grandson who knows EVERYTHING about Star Wars. In fact, I’m off to be Rancor right now. “Who is Rancor?” you ask. He’s the big scary monster down in the pit at Jabba the Huts place (in Return of the Jedi). So if you’re ever in Star Wars trouble again, just let me know and I’ll ask RJ (or his equally nerdy Uncle, who started him on this Star Wars obsession).

  95. Cathy

    April 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    OH my goodness I haven’t laughed all day until I read that!!! I was especially dying at the part where you lay the smack down on that smirking mermaid doll.

    You could go preschool-shoebox-float-making pro. 🙂

  96. headless chickie

    April 22, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Your floats are pure awesome. I thought you were going to say that you just used Will’s, or stole it back and left Gully high and dry. Which is funny, because I just started reading this and I am just assuming who those people might be!

    My son’s elementary has them make wagon floats (for Veteran’s Day). Can you imagine? I know. We’ve managed to pull it off for two years, but I’m runnin’ out of material!

  97. Jill

    April 22, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    LOLOLOLOLOL….couldn’t stop laughing..loved the part about Ariel not being that “relaxed”. LOLOL

  98. April

    April 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    One of my top 10 reasons for having children was so I could do things like this. Oh…and I wanted a baby shower.

    Just Kidding!

  99. Rena Gunther

    April 22, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Oh will I ever have a chance to do a float for the float parade??? Perhaps when Sophie starts school the trendy float parade projects will have hit our Louisiana schools.

    For now, I’ll just marvel over these. I LOVVVE Madagascar. Sophie and I “like to move it, move it”. Although she didn’t jive with it so much at the theater. Anyway, I do miss seeing Gloria on that box. Thinking back now to, “Girl, you HUGE!” CRACKIN’ up!

    And the Mermaid float was AMAZing! You totally rock kids’ float projects.

    😉

  100. Sarah

    April 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    I’m trying to think of all kinds of words of admiration to say…but really, I’m speechless! Utterly and totally speechless! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  101. Amy

    April 22, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    So my daughter Gracie just hopped on my lap as I was sneaking a quick look at your blog today….she saw the float pictures, thought maybe this was the TOYSRUS website, and declared that she wanted “that and that”. You and Gulley have my two year old’s vote for first prize floats.
    Seriously, good job.
    Amy

  102. Angela

    April 22, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Dang, girl, your shoebox madness has gotten you over 100 comments! 🙂

    I’m still waiting for an update on the gifted class meeting. LOL

  103. Kari

    April 22, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Okay. I absolutely love you. I mean, I snorted when you said : “We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox.”

    You are soo funny. And, if my kid EVER needs to do a float, I will ask you for advice. Wish we lived closer, so you could come over and help! Maybe I will do one just for the heck of it. Any ideas!?

  104. Shannon

    April 22, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    “I had to hot glue her hands to the float to get her to stay since that big flipper tends to make her a little bottom heavy.” That may be the single most perfect sentence I’ve ever read on any blog, EVER.

  105. Gabby

    April 22, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Your story reminds me of how competitive my hubby (and every other Dad in Royal Ambassadors) gets for my son’s pinewood derby race.
    (Minus the starbucks, glue gun, and dolls.
    Add on power tools, decals, paint, and all kinds of lubricant and things to make it go faster.)

  106. Jaime

    April 22, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    I don’t know if dinosaur or turtle best describes my computer, so my late night, after kiddos are in bed, blog reading has been sadly down. However, tonight, I thought before I logged off, I would check on my friend, Big Mama, and I am smiling and giggling, remembering how dang funny you are and how much joy you bring me!

  107. Amy Berkheimer

    April 22, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    A) I’ve never heard of such a thing. I think every school should do something this fun!

    B) YOUR FLOATS ROCK! You win a “Golden Glue Gun Award” from me! Haha

    C) Thanks for sharing these!
    Amy in Washington state
    where our kids don’t get to play or have fun at school because of the WASL tests.
    They are hopefully doing away with them soon!

  108. Heather

    April 22, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Caroline’s shoebox float looks fabulous! These school projects designed for “the kids” will kill you! I’m about to start working on my son’s science project…he’s in Kindergarten. Just for fun I asked him what science means, and he replied, “I think it’s numbers and stuff.”

  109. Ann

    April 23, 2009 at 7:51 am

    You are a future PTA mom. It’s written all over you. I can say this because I am one and that’s what you do when you start out making your child’s projects for pre-school. They frown on it a little in elementary and encourage you to channel all that energy into fundraising. I speak from experience. In a few years, you’ll be bloggin about your experience as PTA President!

    Too funny! I love that you hotglued barbie’s hands to the float to offset her bottom heaviness- if we all could do that!

  110. Shelly the Chic Crafty Chick

    April 23, 2009 at 8:01 am

    You go girl! Those are some rockin floats. I so enjoy seeing your projects every year.

  111. Suburban Turmoil

    April 23, 2009 at 9:19 am

    I now have float envy.

    This is why I’m “home preschooling” my kids. These kinds of things bring out the competitive monster in me and that is not good. 🙂

    Seriously, though? If there is some sort of shoebox float career out there, you’d better get on that, because I’m predicting you will be made partner in months!

  112. Will Blog For Shoes

    April 23, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I feel the strange need to bookmark these posts for the day that such a Shoebox Fiesta Float parade is sprung on me.

    I LURVE the floats. Great job!

  113. Hilary

    April 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    “We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox”

    My sides are hurting from laughing! I wish it was from my workout this morning but I am thinking not. 🙂

  114. Erin

    April 23, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    If I had only known…we just threw away our Gloria the Hippo toy because my daughter didn’t want it any more. 🙂

    I loved Caroline’s mermaid float– too cute!

    Also, as a teacher, there are always going to be those parents that go over and above the top. I assigned for my students to choose a state and make a poster about it – one of my parents had a cookie place make an edible model of the state and then they decorated it to look like the various regions of the state. Like you said…show offs!

  115. Mary Anna

    April 23, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    Can I claim that it’s my mermaid tail that makes me bottom heavy?

    We were spared the Fiesta float this year, but I did have chase Thing 1’s Fiesta hat through the HEB parking lot this afternoon. Oh – I was carrying Thing 2 and holding 1’s hand – how a boy wasn’t injured is a mystery.

  116. Katie

    April 24, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Oh, Big Mama…you are so, so funny! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but I think this is the first time I’ve commented. My husband and I are getting ready to relocate and you (as well as your teaparty post) make me want to move to Texas!! 🙂

  117. home made wind generators

    June 27, 2009 at 1:53 am

    Intelligent story.. Will come back again!!

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Who is Melanie?

Melanie ShankleMy name is Melanie and, in some strange twist of fate, I’m also known as Big Mama because I started this blog in July of 2006 when my daughter, Caroline, was not quite three years old and I was in the process of convincing her that BIG girls use the potty and BIG girls don’t have pacifiers, thus she thought BIG was the highest compliment in the land and began referring to me as BIG MAMA.Read More

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And just like that, her first year at Texas A&M is And just like that, her first year at Texas A&M is over. ⁣
⁣After we moved her out of the dorm last weekend, we looked around the empty dorm room and she said, “This has been the best year of my life”. And because moms know these things, I can attest to that. ⁣
⁣
I loved Texas A&M as a student, but I love it even more as an Aggie mom. What it has given my girl over the last year has been beyond anything I even prayed for. The way she has grown in her faith, the incredible friends she has made, the professors and advisors who have guided her, the experiences she’s had, the Aggies beating Alabama at Kyle Field…it’s all been Ephesians 3:20 in action…more than I could ask or imagine. ⁣
⁣
When she left home at the end of last summer it felt like an ending, but what it has actually been is the most beautiful beginning to the future God has written for her. And it’s a reminder to me that the best prayer we can pray as a mom is, “God, this one is yours. You are the author of her story and I trust you to write an amazing one”. ⁣
⁣
Thanks and Gig’em. 👍🏻❤️

(Photo by @doubllel)
In light of all our construction issues this week, In light of all our construction issues this week, I felt like it was time for a special edition of grown up story time because I remembered I actually wrote about the poor tile job in our shower years ago in Sparkly Green Earrings. ⁣
⁣
This is when it pays to have a written history to help myself  remember I shouldn’t have been surprised by anything that transpired this week.
A friend texted me this photo the other day. It wa A friend texted me this photo the other day. It was taken my last semester at Texas A&M and I’m with a group of friends at a Wes King concert at Wolf Pen Creek. (Shout out to those of you old enough to remember what a gift Wes King was to Christian music in the early 90s.) I had recently found my way back to God after a long hiatus and wasn’t entirely sure how I ended up at this concert with some new friends who wore Jesus t-shirts, but was so grateful to be there because I felt content and happy for the first time in years. ⁣
⁣
The point of this picture is that if you look on the left you will see a young Perry Shankle with glasses wearing a white t-shirt. And if you look on the far right you will see a young Melanie Marino with an aggressive side part. I don’t think we even spoke to each other at the concert that night. No one would have put us together because we were complete and total opposites. And I like to think God laughed knowing what was ahead. ⁣
⁣
A year later, we started dating. And three years from just about the day this photo was taken, we were engaged. And currently, we’ve been married almost 25 years and are cleaning out the attic together today which is the height of romance. What I’m saying is dream big, kids. You never know what is waiting right around the corner, right in front of you, that will change your life. ⁣
⁣
Side note: If you look closely you’ll see that my friend Jen and I are sitting on a blue striped comforter. Perry still sleeps with that exact comforter every single night so what I’m saying is that on that night back in 1994, he had no idea he was with his future wife and a blanket he would treasure, lo, all these years later. God is good. ⁣
⁣
Also, as for the attic clean out, he informed me last night that he did own two horses when we started dating. That’s why there is a saddle in our attic. I had no idea.
Big night out for Mom and Dad tonight. ⁣ ⁣ We Big night out for Mom and Dad tonight. ⁣
⁣
We went to the wedding of the daughter of some dear friends and it was at the same church and the same reception venue as ours was almost twenty-five years ago. ⁣
⁣
We agreed we barely remember anything about that day. It’s all a blur. But we agreed we like each other more now than we did all those years ago when we had no idea all that our life together would hold.  And that feels like a win because I was pretty crazy about him then. ⁣
⁣
Congratulations to the new Mr. & Mrs. Glass! Loved celebrating with you. 💕
Here’s a confession: I hate waiting. I don’t l Here’s a confession: I hate waiting. I don’t like sitting in the unknown. I’m not sure any of us do. ⁣
⁣
The truth is waiting makes me feel anxious as I worry about timelines and what ifs and when I’ll have answers. And it dawned on me today that waiting is really the crux of Good Friday. ⁣
⁣
I think one of the most powerful moments in the Bible is when Jesus is on the cross and with a loud cry breathes his last breath. Mark 15:38-39 says, “The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”⁣
⁣
Think about that. The sky has grown dark, the earth begins to shake and then as Jesus cries out with his last breath, we learn that what has been an impenetrable, thick curtain in the temple - there to separate us from the Holy of Holies - tears in two. It’s powerful enough that this centurion, a battle-tested leader in the Roman army, witnesses it and realizes Jesus is absolutely who He claimed to be. ⁣
⁣
Jesus’ death and resurrection are the moments that changed eternity and gave hope when all was lost. The ultimate victory of good over evil. But there was also waiting. ⁣
⁣
The centurion may have realized that Jesus was the son of God, but everyone had to wait to see what that meant. They didn’t know the stone would be rolled away. They didn’t know the crucifixion was just the beginning of a story of hope and redemption. All they knew on Friday was pain and loss and darkness. They had to wait for Sunday and they didn’t even know what they were waiting for…maybe just a small sign of hope. ⁣
⁣
Don’t we do that? Question if He’s good or if He will come through for us? Wonder how things will work out when all seems lost? Is He who He says He is and what does that mean for our life?⁣
⁣
Here’s what I know. Jesus is the wonder our heart is waiting for. He is our peace, redemption, and salvation. He breaks strongholds, takes away our fear and shame, redeems what has been broken and lost. He does more in our lives than we even know to ask for. We are never so broken that He can’t restore us. ⁣
⁣
All that we wait for, all that we hope for…HE IS.
My first Aggie parents’ weekend as an Aggie pare My first Aggie parents’ weekend as an Aggie parent. Loved every minute with my girl. 👍🏻💕

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Jenny Isaminger@JennyDawnTX·

I got to interview one of my all time favorite authors on the podcast this week and when I listened to the finished episode I had a "I can't believe I got to do that!" moment. Thanks for joining us, @BigMama and thanks for getting my Mary Katherine Gallagher reference. 🙂 https://twitter.com/RealHoustonMoms/status/1522222777549443075

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Hey… @d1baseball.

You up? https://twitter.com/TexAgs/status/1518348186275954688

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