The eve of a new year

I know.

I didn’t post anything yesterday.

But if I’m being perfectly honest, which I am, I haven’t even taken my Christmas decorations down yet. Or really even thought about taking my Christmas decorations down. Although I did buy two new ornament bins at Target on Wednesday which felt like a step in the right direction until I got home and looked at my tree and thought WOW, THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF WORK.

And now I’m ignoring all the ribbon and the blinky lights and the garland on my mantle.

In other words, my motivation is at an all-time low. This Monday is going to be a big slap of reality right in my face. A slap of reality that will require me to once again be out of my pajamas before noon and get back to my Couch to 5K program and quit considering three iced sugar cookies to be part of a balanced, healthy breakfast. In other words, January 3rd is going to be a major buzzkill full of resolutions and exercise and steamed broccoli.

I wish I had something profound to share with you. Some sort of deep reflections about 2010 and all the ways I grew as a person this year. But I’m not sure I do. I feel like it’s been one of the fastest years I can remember and, although it was filled with many blessings, it was also filled with some hard times and tough lessons and a general overall feeling of WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

And so I think that’s what 2011 holds for me. I want to be more intentional about how I use my time, my money and all the blessings God has given my family. I want to be a better mother, wife and friend. I want to listen more than I talk. I want to quit being so afraid of failure that I don’t even try. I want to listen for the voice of God and go where He leads even if I’m not sure what that looks like. I want to be the person He created me to be and realize that He knows all my flaws and frailties and there’s no sense to beat myself up about them on a daily basis.

So, in short, I have my work cut out for me in 2011.

I wish you all the happiest New Year. I hope it’s filled with everything you hope for and even better things that you didn’t even know you wanted.