Author: Big Mama

And that’s how I ended up with a paper calendar

So yesterday morning started off like all my other mornings this week. Which is to say, UGLY.

I rolled out of bed, fixed Caroline’s breakfast and packed her lunch. In the meantime, she proved that she has 50% of my DNA because she looked out the windows, noticed it was raining and pumped her fist as she exclaimed, “YES! I get to wear my Hunter rain boots today!”

And I had to laugh because I’d just thought the same exact thing. There are some things that are just innate.

P drove her to school and I settled in on my spot on the couch to drink my coffee and catch up on the morning news.

And that’s when I discovered that America is on the verge of a Velveeta shortage. Well, this sent me reeling and so I tweeted that between the helium shortage and the Velveeta shortage, I’m not sure what this means for the parties of the future.

Then someone responded and asked if I knew there is also an impending global wine shortage.

And shortly thereafter, ESPN began reporting that Johnny Manziel was officially leaving Texas A&M for the NFL.

So let me get this straight.

No Velveeta, no wine, and no Johnny Manziel at Texas A&M.

What kind of fresh hell is this, 2014?

It’s never been more clear that we are living in the end times.

And so I did the only thing that could be done. Laid down on the couch and took a short nap that was either the result of mild depression or the lingering effects of the cold medicine I took the night before.

But I awoke to fresh perspective on all these matters.

1. Velveeta

The good news is I have a tendency to stockpile Velveeta because, well, queso. And so a quick survey of my cupboards revealed this.

That’s a good starting point. And please note that it’s the 2% version because we are looking for the healthiest way to eat cheese that is made in a factory and may or may not really even be a real dairy product.

2. Wine

I got online and did a little research because I am like a scientist. I discovered that the global wine shortage that everyone feared isn’t going to necessarily happen thanks to Italy, Spain, France and Chile who all produced record wine crops this year.

However, the Burgundy harvest and Bordeaux harvest this year have been abysmal. So if you’re looking for a 2013 Burgundy or some parts of France, they’re going to be harder to find and expensive.

This is where my refined Velveeta-loving taste pays off. I’ve been known to buy wine at my neighborhood CVS store with a label that just reads RED WINE so chances are good I’m not going to struggle without access to a 2013 Burgundy from France.

3. Johnny Manziel

This one isn’t as easy to work out as Velveeta and wine. But I absolutely loved this piece about him and what he has meant to Texas A&M written by Billy Liucci on Texags.

As much as I’ll miss watching him play on Kyle Field in an A&M jersey, I’m equally thankful for all that he did for the school I love so much. And I’ll be cheering for him in the NFL even though I’m really hoping that won’t involve the Cleveland Browns.

(No offense if you’re a Cleveland Brown fan. It would just feel a lot more natural to cheer for the Texans each week. And I have no idea what a Brown is.)

After all my research and Velveeta assurances, I found the strength to go on and so I headed to Target. Because where else would you go after willing yourself towards a wellspring of hope and optimism in the midst of potential hard times?

And it was while I was at Target that I made a big decision about 2014. Maybe it’s because I stared down the barrel of a world without Velveeta and wine and lived to tell about it or maybe it’s because I almost double-booked myself for two different commitments in February but, whatever the case, I decided I needed to go back to a paper calendar.

(It could have been because Target has some really cute paper calendars for only $9.99)

(Also, I already broke this news to Gulley on the phone yesterday afternoon because me switching to a paper calendar and her finding out about it on the blog is one of those things that will cause her to call me and say, “Well, I had no idea you were switching to a paper calendar. I feel so out of touch.” We call this the “pajama pants syndrome”. As in, I need to know if you buy a new pair of pajama pants before you just show up in them.)

Anyway, I tried to go completely digital with my calendar in 2013 and it worked out okay. As far as I know I didn’t miss any major events or commitments. However, the geniuses at Apple messed up the iPhone calendar in my opinion and now it just isn’t as user friendly. Plus there are times I’m on my phone and someone is asking me about dates and I have to scribble them down and then double-check on my phone later.

I couldn’t continue to live that way. Especially if there’s a chance I won’t even have wine or Velveeta to get me through the rough spots.

One time I read that when you feel like there are things happening in your life that are outside your control that you just resort to trying to have as much control as you can over what you can. And so maybe that’s why in the midst of these uncertain times, I need to go back to the simple pleasure of writing down all my appointments and commitments.

In pen.
Some stuff about some things

You don’t even want to know all the ways I’ve procrastinated before attempting to write anything tonight. Let’s just say I was one step away from cleaning my baseboards. Which, in hindsight, wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

It’s just that I really haven’t done anything interesting this week. Not that it means this week is any different from any other week, but I haven’t felt great and it’s been so cold outside and I’ve basically become one with my couch over the last two days.

However, I’ve tried to be slightly productive and do all the things I neglected over the Christmas break. I’ve called our insurance company to change our coverage, scheduled a physical for P because it seems like a good idea since he hasn’t been to the doctor in about ten years, and answered somewhere in the neighborhood of 452 emails. I also spent a considerable chunk of time on hold with the people at Clairisonic explaining that my Clairisonic brush has a tendency to turn itself on and I find it alarming.

Part of me was even tempted to call AT&T and see about changing some of our internet and cell phone options, but I decided I’d lose my will to live and that would be a terrible way to start 2014.

Basically if my New Year’s resolution was to get as many things done as a person can do while wearing pajamas and not leaving the house, I am GOLDEN.

But that wasn’t my New Year’s resolution because I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions. Except I’m going to try and eat better and exercise more, which is more of a constant life resolution that I break every three weeks and then get back onboard so I can break it again three weeks later.

Anyway, since there just isn’t much going on here, I thought I’d share a few things you might want to know about. Or if you believe you know all you need to know, then maybe you can go clean your baseboards or something.

1. Chasing God by Angie Smith

I read this book over the Christmas break and I cannot express how much I loved it. I feel like it answers so many questions no matter where you are in your faith. Or maybe even if you have no faith.

I’ve always loved everything Angie rights, but this is my absolute favorite. It’s deep with just the right amount of funny. I even think it could work as a book for a small group to go through over the next few months. You can find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble or at a local bookstore near you.

2. Italian Sausage Soup

I made this over the weekend and cannot even explain how good it is. You can find the recipe right here. I’ve eaten it for dinner three nights in a row which is a record for me because I am usually not a big fan of leftovers. Delicious and so filling.

Also, I made it with zucchini instead of green beans. It just felt right.

3. I Bought A Car by Kelly Minter

I loved this blog post by Kelly. Such a good word.

4. Free Beth Moore digital books

Beth Moore is offering sixteen of her books in digital form free until January 10. This is a great opportunity to share these resources with friends who may not be familiar with her work. You can find all the details here.

5. Birchbox

Am I the last person in the world to know about this? Because it kind of feels like it. You sign up for a subscription and for $10 a month they ship you a little box each month full of various beauty product samples. I cannot even express how much I love it. It’s like a little box of happy shows up on my doorstep once a month. Plus I’ve already found some new products that I love that I never would have tried otherwise. You can find out more about it or sign up here.

And that’s it for today. Here’s hoping tomorrow I’ll have something to share that’s more interesting than how I sat on my couch and called various customer service departments.
Since some of you yearn for knowledge

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know I made it through all of Downton Abbey last night. It felt like the right thing to do. And I was so glad because clearly Lady Mary has had a rough go of it over the last six months.

P and I watched it together and after it was over he asked, “So why do people like this show?”

It’s safe to assume British soap operas aren’t his favorite.

And as for right this moment, I’m wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire while watching the National Championship game. I also just ate a bowl of soup. I didn’t mean for 2014 to start off with such a fast-paced, glamorous lifestyle, but so be it.

Several of you asked about the favorite things party, specifically how it works and what gifts we gave so I thought I’d write about it today. Assuming you wouldn’t rather hear about how hard it was to get up this morning and how Caroline wanted a toasted ham and cheese sandwich packed in her lunch and she only ended up eating half of it even though I’d slaved to toast that bread at 7:00 a.m.

Also, math homework.

You know what I remember about prime numbers versus composite numbers? Absolutely nothing. I don’t think there was even such a thing as composite numbers in the 1980’s.

Okay, but back to the favorite things party.

I originally read about the idea from the Nester and then of course there used to be a talk show host on T.V. named Oprah and she used to have a Favorite Things show every year that was kind of a big deal.

Ideally it works best for a small group because you buy your favorite thing for each person. There are five girls in my group besides myself, so everyone brings five of their favorite thing. You can make the price point whatever is best for everyone, but we keep it between $5-$15. This makes it affordable and more fun because you have to be creative.

We’ve done it three years now and I’m going to do my best to remember some of the different things we’ve given over the years. I’ll start with this year. I gave everyone a cute pack of styrofoam cups and a small bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream. The other girls brought pj pants, a wine stopper, a small Voluspa candle, Kiehl’s lip balm and Ikea cutting boards with matching knives.

Last year I gave everyone a pair of fuzzy socks and the other girls gave a small set of Sephora lipgloss, St. Ives face cream, Trapp room fragrance, earrings and a cute bag to put your wet swimsuit in when you travel.

And then the year before that is nothing but a vague memory, but I remember that I gave everyone pajama pants and that someone brought the latest People magazine and some chocolate.

So there you have it. And not one time has anyone brought raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens or brown paper packages or warm woolen mittens. Just a disclaimer.

Now I’m going to finish the last of the holiday mint M&M’s, wrap back up in my blanket and see how this game turns out. My money is on Auburn.

Not really because I’d never bet money on a football game. I might, however, bet holiday mint M&M’s.

If you’re interested in reading about more of my favorites from 2013, I wrote a post over on Ree’s blog yesterday. You can read it right here.
Merry New Year

Well I’m writing this at 4:54 on Sunday afternoon instead of waiting until later tonight.

Not that you care, but my reasons are twofold.

1. Downton Abbey

2. I seem to have come down with a bit of the plague.

So, frankly, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to will myself to stay up to watch Downton Abbey, but I plan to give it my best shot considering that Lady Mary needs me in her time of grief.

Tomorrow is our re-entry back to the real world. And it’s probably for the best judging from the fact that my laundry has essentially consisted of nothing but pajama pants for the last two weeks. P is pretty good about continuing to be a productive member of society, but Caroline has joined me in my love of embracing a little bit of agoraphobia during an extended period of vacation.

Several of you mentioned that I didn’t mention the Aggie game on Friday. That’s because my brain and heart still hadn’t recovered enough for me to fully process what happened during the Chick-Fil-A Bowl on Tuesday night and my recap would have just been something along the lines of “slakjdghschmirf”.

We watched the game over at Gulley’s house with a few other friends and I honestly tried my best during the first half to pretend that EVERYTHING WAS FINE, IT WAS FINE, IT’S JUST A FOOTBALL GAME but it was all a lie. And then I spent halftime going through the seven stages of grief for all that this football season could have been.

But the second half started and Coach Sumlin appeared to have punched something hard and unyielding based on his swollen finger and Johnny Manziel played the most amazing game of his career. And that’s saying something. We jumped up and down and yelled and I felt all the feelings that exist and then Tony Hurd made that interception and we lost our minds. It wasn’t the most peaceful, relaxing way to end our season, but it was high on the adrenaline and fun factor.

Our New Year’s Day was basically spent doing absolutely nothing. I debated taking down our Christmas decorations but that felt too ambitious and so I waited until the next day. And it was while unwrapping the forty-third strand of lights from our Christmas tree that I realized why no one sings songs about undecking the halls and that reason is too much profanity and questioning what idiot felt like they needed to weave the lights in and out of every. single. branch.

(That would be me.)

But by late that afternoon we had everything down and put away for next year. I even made a huge pile of stuff to take to Goodwill. Caroline, otherwise known as a future star of an episode of Hoarders, eyed my pile and asked, “But what if some of this turns out to be stuff with special memories?” I informed her I wasn’t buying into drumming up false emotion over a stuffed penguin wearing a Santa hat and it all needed to go. Fa la la la.

Later that evening we had two of P’s oldest friends and their families over for dinner. And by oldest friends, I mean people he’s known the longest. Although that might also make them the oldest in years too because we aren’t spring chickens anymore. We’re late summer chickens.

Anyway, we had the best time catching up on life and watching our kids run and play and climb trees together. His friend George even brought over a New Year’s Piñata for the kids and there really isn’t anything that gets a party going like a bunch of kids hitting a butterfly with a large stick. But that’s just common sense.

On Friday, P and Caroline left to go spend the night at the ranch and I met my birthday club group of girlfriends at a neighborhood restaurant for our annual Christmas party. Granted, we were a little late this year due to some scheduling difficulties, but better late than never. Especially because we make it a little favorite things party and each of us brings a favorite thing ($10 or less) for the rest of the group. And so each of us leaves with five fun little gifts. I highly recommend it.

Sadly, it was Saturday night that I began to suspect I was coming down with something that was more serious than just the dread of getting up at the crack of dawn on Monday morning. My throat is all scratchy, I’m a little achy and just generally feel a little out of it. So, if not for the scratchy throat, completely normal.

But I persevered and made myself get to the grocery store earlier this afternoon to stock up on provisions. The weather here isn’t going to be nearly as cold as it is in other parts of the country, but it’s still cold enough to require a stockpile of good soup.

And some good television.

Which brings me full circle to Downton Abbey.

The end.
Fashion Friday: Edition I only picked nine things

Maybe it’s because I’m tired from taking down all my Christmas decorations today. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t sleep well last night. But whatever the case I only found nine things worth mentioning today and I’m going to make it brief because TIRED.

I’ll get back to my regular posting schedule on Monday, assuming I don’t get completely sucked in by the season premiere of Downton Abbey.

1. old navy slub-knit henleys

Great basic shirt that comes in other colors. Love the sleeves.

2. aspen hooded sweater

I think I’ve shown this before but I still really like it.

3. north face venture jacket

Caroline and Gulley both got this jacket for Christmas and now I feel like I want one too. It’s the perfect lightweight jacket.

4. textured sweater coat

This also comes in black, but I was drawn to the white. It feels very January to me.

I don’t know what that means.

5. unwind sweatshirt dress

I could live in this.

6. cocoon cozy sweater

Or maybe this.

Plus, all sale stuff is an extra 20% off with code SALE20

7. kimonokaze embroidered dress

This is darling. Love it with leggings and cowboy boots.

8. michael kors leather tote

This comes in other colors but I’m so in love with the red that all other colors feel dead to me.

9. classic cardy uggs

I’ve always loved these and they’re on sale right now.

That’s it for today.

Have a good Friday.
What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

Well.

Apparently I have fallen into some depths of relaxation and lethargy and cannot get up. I’d had every intention of writing something yesterday but then Gulley and I found ourselves with a kid-free evening and went to see American Hustle and then out to dinner.

(Side note: I loved American Hustle. It solidified that I love all things 1970’s. The clothes, the hair, the music, the enormous Cadillacs. And I think Amy Adams may have inspired me to revisit using hot rollers.)

It’s safe to assume that I have thoroughly enjoyed Christmas vacation thus far. I don’t mean to brag but I have fulfilled all of my goals regarding sugar cookie consumption, reading books, watching movies, and sleeping. I feel good about it. The only thing that is currently mocking me are the Christmas decorations that will need to be put away at some point, but I’m just pretending my original plan was to leave them up until Epiphany.

I have no idea where to even begin with recounting the last week or so, but I’ll have you know that we broke our all time cinnamon roll record. Both the making and eating of.

On Christmas Eve morning, Caroline and P delivered cinnamon rolls to various friends and neighbors while I made a pecan pie and some toffee for later that evening and then we headed to the 4:00 service at our church. Some of us were pretty enthusiastic about it being Christmas Eve.

After church we met my sister and her family over at Bops and Mimi’s house to eat tamales and open up Christmas presents with them. My nephew Luke got a set of Home Depot toy tools and when I told him what one of them was called, he walked off mumbling “Well, that makes no sense at all.” I feel that somewhere I lost the respect of the four year old crowd in regard to my knowledge of fake tools.

Caroline got what was easily one of her favorite presents, a hammock for her playroom from Mimi and Bops.

And a new A&M sweatshirt that she will absolutely be wearing when the Aggies play Duke on New Year’s Eve.

We got home later that night, opened new Christmas jammies, left out milk and cookies for Santa and went to bed. And, sure enough, when we woke up the next morning Santa had shown up. I love how sleepy-eyed Caroline is in all these pictures. It’s a vintage Christmas morning look.

And everyone’s life would be richer if only they had a gigantic pink bird in it.

Finally, this last picture is like a prophetic word.

Santa decided Caroline might like a crystal making kit. However, sometimes Santa gets overenthusiastic and doesn’t think about things like that a crystal making kit actually requires parental supervision and may lead to a mom having to make crystals at 5:00 p.m. on Christmas day.

And here’s the other thing Santa didn’t know. That making crystals on your stovetop will cause your entire home to smell like a crack house. I mean I’ve never smelled a real crack house, but I’ve heard it smells like brussels sprouts roasting in hot garbage which is exactly what my house smelled like by 6:00 p.m. Christmas night. Not only that, but Santa also forgot that Caroline’s mom nearly failed high school chemistry and may not be mentally or emotionally prepared to conduct science experiments even at the age of 42.

Needless to say, we have not succeeded in making any crystals. And are now in the market for a hot plate to facilitate the making of crystals outside so that we don’t have to sell our house and all the furniture inside it. I’m also fairly sure I’ll no longer be able to buy Sudafed at the pharmacy counter.

Later on Christmas night we went over to Gulley’s house to visit with Honey and Big and Caroline and the boys exchanged gifts. They got her an ant farm so that will be the gift that keeps giving once our shipment of ants arrive in 2-3 weeks.

And then we went to visit some other friends and had maybe the most hilarious white elephant gift exchange ever. P and I took home a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a jar of moonshine and a small water feature with fake LED lit candles that was billed as a starter kit for a romantic night at home, metal lawn chairs not included.

Of course Caroline has taken over the water feature and moved it into her playroom along with the hammock. This has pretty much been how she’s spent the bulk of her time ever since.

Except for when I get there first.

I’m kidding. I wouldn’t steal my child’s Christmas present.

Most of the time.

And so that’s what’s been going on here. I hope you all have a Happy New Year. We’ll be watching the Aggies and eating gumbo and hoping maybe Johnny Manziel decides he wants to spend one more year in College Station.