Author: Big Mama

The palace made it official

Well. By the time most of you read this I will have claimed my free cup of coffee at Starbucks. Because unless you were under a rock yesterday and watching nothing but the Home Shopping Network or are like my dad and only read “real news”, then you know that the palace made the official announcement that Princess Kate is expecting a baby.

Apparently they weren’t planning to announce it this soon, but she had to be hospitalized because she has Hyperemesis gravidarum. Which is a fancy way of saying she needs to carry around a yuck bucket since she has severe morning sickness. And that just goes to show that being a princess may get you beautiful clothes and fantastic hair, but at the end of the day princesses throw up just like the rest of us. The difference is they can wear a diamond tiara while they lay on the bathroom floor and pray for mercy.

Speaking of being sick, Caroline started running a fever last Thursday night. She came out a few times to tell me her stomach didn’t feel good, but I wasn’t convinced it wasn’t just a stalling technique. But then I laid down next to her and realized her legs were on fire. Her forehead rarely gets warm when she runs fever, but her legs become some sort of furnace. Like they could heat a small country.

And so we spent all of Thursday night and most of Friday trying to keep her fever down until it finally broke for good late Friday afternoon. She was scheduled to play in a soccer tournament on Saturday and I thought it wasn’t going to happen, but she popped out of bed early Saturday morning ready to go. In case you’ve never noticed, kids are resilient.

We had three soccer games and so most of Saturday was spent driving back and forth to the soccer fields. I did manage to watch half of the first quarter of the SEC Championship game between games, but other than that the big game for me involved nine-year-old girls and a soccer ball.

Most of Sunday was spent recovering from Saturday.

And that’s what has been going on here.

It seems like there should be more, but I spoke earlier this evening at my church and I think my brain is tired. So I’m going to head to bed. And dream about my free grande latte.
Fashion Friday: Edition Pure Charity and an AWESOME giveaway

Okay. There was a little bit of confusion yesterday because I am an idiot and accidentally posted this post as password protected on Thursday afternoon. And some of y’all started emailing and asking for the password.

It was like Fashion Friday had gone undercover. The whole thing reminded me of that episode of 90210 when they were trying to find some secret party and had to bring an egg to a convenience store to find out the location. But without the high-waisted acid washed jeans and big hair.

Anyway, today is going to be awesome.

Remember a few weeks back when I told y’all about Pure Charity? You create an account. Then you register your credit or debit cards (it’s all very secure) and then every time you spend money at participating retailers a percentage of your purchase goes into an account that you can then give to various charities. And there are over 1,000 online retailers like Gap, Target, Forever 21, Apple. Places we already shop all the time. Except now they’re giving us the opportunity to give back as we spend money. It’s the most brilliant thing ever.

For instance, this week I have several things from Nordstrom on Fashion Friday. And if you are signed up with Pure Charity, Nordstrom gives a whopping 4.5% of your purchase back to your Pure Charity account and you can determine what cause you’d like it to go to. Amazing.

For even more information, you can read this blog post by Jen Hatmaker about Pure Charity. She explains the whole thing in great detail.

You just have to click on my link to sign up or on this precious face below. And then all your Christmas purchases will have the benefit of helping you make a difference.

As an added incentive to become a part of Pure Charity, they’ve given us an incredibly fun gift. They have given me a budget to buy one of everything I’m featuring today on Fashion Friday and give it away. The only thing you have to do for a chance to win is sign up here at Pure Charity and leave a comment on this post letting me know the top three or four things you’d choose from today’s post if you are one of the winners.

I’ll use Random.org to choose winners and do my best to make sure each person receives one of the things you list in your comments. Y’all, there are no guarantees here. It may end up as you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. But I’m waiting to buy everything until after the winners are announced so I can get you the size you need for whichever item you win.

Does any of this make sense?

Once you join Pure Charity, there are simple instructions to add the browser plug in – and as you can see below – the button will pop up on all participating sites and show you how much you will get to put in your giving fund.

These are the three projects I’d like us to back – you can pick any of the below to help with your giving fund. Once you’ve signed up and activated your free account, select which project you’ll back with me.

I’ll be giving updates as we fund projects.

It’s just such an easy way to put your money to good use by just doing what you normally do and not having to budget for it separately.

And, now, for the great stuff you have a chance to win. Which also happens to all be stuff I love.

1. Old Navy waffle-knit sweater scarf

Old Navy gives back 2% of your purchase price to your Pure Charity account. This scarf is $14.94. So I’ll let you do the math.

Seriously, I’ll let you do the math. I’m terrible at it.

But how cute is this scarf? It comes in a bunch of different colors and I just love it.

2. Nordstrom kendra scott danielle oval necklace

Nordstrom is currently giving back 4.5 % of your purchase. This gorgeous necklace is $58.00 because Nordstrom doesn’t add that ninety-four cents nonsense like Old Navy. What’s that about?

Anyway, I seriously love this necklace. There are several color options and all of them are gorgeous.

3. hue denim leggings from Nordstrom.

This is another item from Nordstrom. And as I typed that sentence I began to feel like the announcer on The Price is Right. These are $39 and are some of the best leggings ever.

In fact, they are a true jegging. They are leggings that look like jeans. Which means they are much more comfortable. And they come in a ton of colors.

4. J. Crew gold bangle set

J. Crew gives back 5%. Well done, J. Crew. You’ve always been my favorite.

These gold bangles are so pretty and perfect for layering with all manner of other bracelets. It’s like a party for your arm.

What on earth does that even mean?

5. Old Navy softest blanket wrap cardi

This is $42.94 at Old Navy. What the actual heck, Old Navy? Seriously? Why not just call it $43?

Your pricing is weird, but your cardigan is lovely. We’ll take it.

6. piperlime hive & honey layered petal necklace

I adore this necklace. It’s the perfect thing to add a little something extra to almost any outfit.

Piperlime gives back 2.5% of your purchase. This necklace is $26.00.

Seriously, you’re going to have to do the math.

7. hue color block over the knee socks from Nordstrom

Now I wouldn’t wear these over my knee because I’m not in my twenties. But I would absolutely wear them scrunched down a little over the top of my boots. So cute.

And they come in other color options, too.

8. minnetonka 3-layer fringe boot from Nordstrom

Listen. Pocahontas knew a good boot. I mean, that may not be in the history books, but I think these moccasins speak for themselves. These are $89.95 at Nordstrom so 4.5% of that purchase will go back to my account.

And one of you will have great boots to show for it.

9. Gap cable poncho

Gap gives back 3%. This poncho is $69.95. And I have been eyeing it for weeks now. Weeks. The only reason I haven’t bought it is because P has seen it on Fashion Friday and knows it’s more than $15.00.

But maybe now that I’m shopping and giving back to charities at the same time, he’ll see it differently. Yes, I’m getting this new poncho but it’s so the orphans can have Christmas presents. Won’t anyone think of the children?

10. kate spade new york stud earrings

These are $38 and so, so pretty. I love all the colors and, frankly, if you win these I have no idea how you’ll ever decide. Personally, I go back and forth between the pink and this aqua color.

So that’s it. For a chance to win one of these items, here’s a recap of what you need to do:

1. Click here to create a Pure Charity account if you don’t have one already.

2. Leave a comment letting me know you signed up and tell me your top three, four, or eight picks from everything on Fashion Friday today. One comment only, duplicates will be deleted.

3. I’ll leave comments open until Monday at noon. At that time I will draw ten winners using Random.org.

4. I will then contact each winner by email in the order I drew their name to find out what size, color, etc. they would like in the item they’ve won. You have 48 hours to contact me after I email or I will choose another winner.

5. Gifts will be ordered and shipped directly to the winners. I will verify that each winner actually signed up for Pure Charity.

6. We all get to make a difference with our Christmas shopping this year and so really everybody wins.

That’s it. If my math is right (and there is no guarantee) somewhere in the neighborhood of $15.00 will go back to my Pure Charity account to go toward the projects we’re backing. It may not seem like much, but imagine if a thousand of us all signed up for Pure Charity before we did our Christmas shopping. It adds up.

Y’all have a great Friday.
The real toy story

So I believe I’ve mentioned that we have holes in our walls. And that we’re getting some built-ins installed at some point.

And while these two things were going to take place many months ago (in my mind at least) it didn’t really turn out that way for various and sundry reasons. Scheduling, the orbit of Jupiter, etc.

We have been living in a fair share of disarray over the last several months because of all the non-construction going on. Our T.V. is on a church pew. We still have the armoire that used to house our old T.V. in a corner of the living room, and the playroom could be declared a natural disaster. The only good thing about that is we wouldn’t have to worry that FEMA would actually show up.

And I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but we have holes in our walls.

But all these things are going to be fixed in the next week or so. And, thus, I dedicated all of yesterday to cleaning out the playroom and organizing Caroline’s room and emptying the armoire of all manner of antiquated technology.

Needless to say, I am bone tired.

However, I just want to say that if the premise of the Toy Story movie franchise has any truth in it, then I am deeply concerned about things that are happening under my roof.

First, there was this.

Okay. Fine. It’s a pom-pom in the bottom of a bird cage. I’m sure there’s an explanation.

But then I discovered this.

What does it all mean? Is it a mummy? Is it a prisoner? Is it Mad Eye Moody locked in the trunk at Hogwarts? I don’t understand.

Then I encountered the most disturbing thing of all.

I just can’t even.

For the love, Ken, have some decency.

After I moved on from that shady scene, I began to clean out the armoire. And that’s when I discovered it was housing a long forgotten dinosaur.

That’s right, baby. The Sony SIX DISC CHANGER stereo system complete with CASSETTE PLAYER and MEGA BASS. Not just your usual bass. MEGA BASS.

Let me tell you that my college roommates and I put that MEGA bass to good use from 1991-1994. That six disc changer has seen its share of Bel Biv Devoe and Digital Underground.

But wait. There’s more. As if the MEGA bass and six disc changer weren’t enough.

The speakers had the option of attaching to the side thereby making the whole thing extremely portable with its giant handle and eight foot antennae.

Who needs an iPod when you have that? It even came with a remote control to make life that much easier.

The nineties were awesome.

And on a sweet, sentimental note, I found this picture from a few years ago in one of Caroline’s old sketchpads.

Needless to say, it will enjoy a kinder fate than the Sony stereo system because MELT MY HEART. Even though I’m not sure why P is so small. And I’m afraid my hair needed a little help.

See y’all tomorrow for Fashion Friday. Heads up that it will be a HUGE giveaway. Don’t miss it.
All roads lead to Rome. Or my hair.

You know what else I totally forgot to mention over the last few days? The cover of US Weekly that is declaring “A BABY FOR CHRISTMAS!” from Kate and Wills.

A few of you emailed to tell me it looks like I’ve won my bet with my friend at Starbucks. And I wholeheartedly agree. In fact, I walked into Starbucks on Monday morning and told him he owes me a cup of coffee because there is a bun in the royal oven.

He asked me for my source and when I said US Weekly he told me he was going to need me to cite a more reliable source. As if that even exists. What more could he want? A phone call from Pippa?

But, listen. I’m a fair person. I don’t want to claim my free grande peppermint mocha through false information. So I agreed we could wait for a more official source.

In the meantime we have a new bet as to whether or not Johnny Manziel will win the Heisman. I think you all know how I feel about that.

And, in other news, P thinks I might need to find a new Starbucks since my usual one has turned me into some sort of pop culture bookie.

Speaking of Princess Kate, I need to talk about hair. Specifically, hair products.

A few weeks ago I mentioned a hair revelation in the form of Kenra Thermal Styling Spray. I don’t expect any of you to really remember it because you have more important things to do with your life than worrying about my hair. However, I don’t have more important things to do with my life than worrying about my hair. Unless you count the fact that P was out of Natural White Cheddar Cheetos on Monday and needed me to go to HEB immediately to rectify the situation.

You’ll be glad to know it turned out all right. It was scary there for a moment.

Anyway, what I said was that I’d learned the secret to lasting curl and, therefore, lasting happiness is a 1.5 inch Hot Tools curling iron and Kenra Thermal Styling Spray.

Then, in one of the best things that has ever happened to me, the nice people at Kenra offered to send me a few more products to try. They didn’t even ask me to do anything for them in return which was so nice because I hate the pressure of a review. I mean, what if I hate the product? What do I do then?

But I have loved everything so much that I have to tell you about my favorites, in addition to the thermal styling spray that already had my love and devotion.

This is in no certain order. It would be like choosing a favorite child.

1. platinum blow-dry spray

Okay, this claims to decrease the amount of time it takes to blow dry your hair while also offering protection from the heat. It’s also supposed to help with frizz and humidity.

But who cares about all that? Because did you read the part about decreasing your blow dry time?

And it totally does. This has possibly been life-changing for me because it takes a sweet forever to dry my hair and this has absolutely made a difference. I love it. I’ll never be without it again.

2. platinum dry shampoo

This might be my favorite. I know I said I didn’t have a favorite, but if Vidal Sassoon held a gun to my head and made me choose, this is it. Last week my hair really needed to be washed, but I didn’t realize it was too late to do anything about it. Then I remembered I had dry shampoo and LO AND BEHOLD a miracle occurred.

It wasn’t quite the fishes and loaves, but it helped me in my time of hair need by giving me extra volume and the illusion of clean hair. LOVE.

3. volume spray 25

Best hairspray ever. It’s got the hold of Aqua Net but without the smell. But it’s not like a hairnet hold, it’s just enough to make curl stay all day and give me volume when I pull it back in a ponytail or something. I’ll buy it again and again.

So there you have it. My new can’t live without hair products. And I’m even including a picture of my hair even though there’s a good chance P will see it and make fun of me because I can’t manage to smile and take a picture of myself at the same time.

Also, my forehead looks big. And some Retin A might be in order.

Which brings me back around to my bangs or no bangs dilemma.

Because there are always new hair problems to be solved.
Not on a plane, not on a train

I can’t believe I forgot to mention the passing of JR Ewing. When I first saw it on Twitter late Saturday night, I hoped it was just a false rumor. Like the time I said Ed McMahon had died and he hadn’t. Or the time people said Donny and Marie weren’t the greatest singing duo ever.

But, sadly, it’s true. JR Ewing is no longer with us and I feel like a piece of my childhood has died. Granted, it’s a piece filled with adultery and backstabbing and all manner of inappropriate content, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t hear the opening music to Dallas without immediately thinking about Friday nights at my Me-Ma and Pa-Pa’s house. They did love a good soap opera.

JR Ewing? You will always be my favorite villain.

And I think it’s safe to say that new Dallas will fail without him. Jesse Metcalf and his eyebrows will never fill the void left by JR.

This also seems like a good time to share my Christmas decorating situation. Which is to say that there isn’t one because I haven’t even begun to decorate. I haven’t even gone through the motions of getting P to drag down our boxes from the attic.

But here’s why.

We still have holes in our walls.

I know. We are living like savages.

There are so many reasons why our walls still haven’t been fixed and painted and I’d share them all with you but you would wake up four hours later with hair matted to your face where you wept tears of boredom before you finally fell asleep.

The short version is that the walls are being repaired and painted next week. And we’re also getting built-ins installed so our T.V. will finally have a home that isn’t my antique church pew. So until all that happens I can’t even think about putting up a Christmas tree.

And here’s the thing. I resent being made to feel like a slacker because it’s November 27th and I still have pumpkins on my porch and my dining room table. What if I just like to savor Thanksgiving? What if I just want to live in the now?

What if the fact that it’s still 80 degrees every other day makes it feel absurd to hear Let It Snow on the radio constantly?

Of course no one is really making me feel like a slacker except myself. Well, me and the neighbors who have their yard lit up like a game on The Price is Right. And all those people who keep posting pictures of their Elf on a Shelf taking a bath in mini-marshmallows or being tied up by Lego people.

I would have never brought that Elf into our home had I known it was going to have to perform at that level. I thought it was what the box said, AN ELF. ON A SHELF.

Not in a tub. Not on a boat. Not with a goat.

So here’s where I ask a few questions. Have you already decorated for Christmas? Did you buy a real tree? Are you worried it’s going to be deader than new Dallas by Christmas? Is deader a word?

Also, do you know where I can find some cute Christmas stockings? If I ever get around to decorating, we could really use some new ones.

And on a different note, I wanted to mention the Ladies Christmas Celebration this Monday, December 3rd at River City Community Church. I’m going to be speaking and, even better, there’s going to be music and shopping and just fun in general. It’s only $5 to attend and you can find out more on their information page if you’re interested.
The carbs and the memories will remain

When we last spoke I wished you all a very happy Thanksgiving and said I would be spending the next few days staying up too late and watching movies and laughing with my people. And that’s exactly what I did. I also learned a couple of things:

1. I don’t think I digest carbs as easily as I once did. I swear I still have some sweet potato casserole sitting somewhere in my stomach. It’s a good thing we don’t serve noodles at our Thanksgiving lunch because one more carb would have put me permanently over the edge.

2. It is possible for the human heart to stop beating for a good three minutes due to anxiety. I know this to be true because it’s what happened to me when Johnny Manziel went down holding his knee on Saturday night during the A&M game.

3. When I have the luxury of no schedule I immediately go back to my preferred system of staying up until two in the morning and sleeping until ten. Or maybe ten-thirty. Don’t judge me. Night owls are people too. We’re the ones with bags under our eyes while we try to function in “normal” society. Monday morning is going to hit hard.

(It isn’t going to help that I have to get Caroline’s lunchbox that she left at school over the Thanksgiving break. It has chicken salad in it.)

(If you hear a gagging sound, it’s probably me.)

Anyway, we had a great Thanksgiving. On Wednesday I took Caroline and Gulley’s boys to see Rise of The Guardians which was actually pretty good. Turns out I’m a fan of a Russian Santa Claus and an Australian Easter Bunny. I had no idea.

And then Thanksgiving morning, look who got to make fresh-squeezed orange juice.

That’s right. The paper bag trick with the apples worked. The oranges ripened and she was thrilled. I didn’t even have to replace them with store bought oranges which was totally my back up plan because there was going to be much weeping and gnashing of teeth if those oranges didn’t get ripe.

We watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and then headed to Mimi and Bops’s house for Thanksgiving lunch. Gulley and her family joined us this year and we had a great time. It seems like it would have been a great idea to document Thanksgiving with pictures of some sort but apparently I was too busy shoveling in the broccoli rice casserole to take the time to capture any precious memories.

Later that afternoon we went back home in a carbohydrate induced stupor. And I vowed I would never eat again. And I absolutely DID NOT until about four hours later when I thought it seemed like a good idea to heat up some leftovers. No turkey, just straight carbs.

On Friday morning P decided to take Caroline, Will and Jackson to Cabela’s. I cautioned him briefly about Black Friday shopping, but then I decided he’s a grown man and could make his own decision to brave the crowds and traffic. Plus, Gulley and I really wanted to go get pedicures. Because, while I was thankful for many things this Thanksgiving, the state of my toes didn’t make the list. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem this time of year but the temperatures have refused to drop and I still wear flip-flops at least three times a week.

So P loaded up the kids for a little shopping and Gulley and I went to eat lunch and then get pedicures. As we were leaving the pedicure place, we decided to run by Gap just to check out their sale items. But I mentioned that I’d really like to stop and get a peppermint mocha first. And that’s when we experienced an unfortunate turn of events.

I was trying to pull my car into a spot right in front of Starbucks. And I misjudged the amount of room I had. And the front bumper of my car hit the back bumper of the parked car in the next spot.

Well. Great.

To make it worse, I got out of my car and realized I’d hit a Prius. I felt like there was a chance the Prius owner takes their car ownership much more seriously than I do based on their environmentally-friendly choice. I also wished I didn’t have the “Drill Here, Drill Now” bumper sticker on my car.

(I don’t really have that bumper sticker on my car, but it would have made the story so much better if I did.)

But since I was still craving what had now turned into possibly the most expensive peppermint mocha ever, I ran in Starbucks while Gulley waited outside in case the Prius owner came back to their car. Probably carrying recyclable bags from Whole Earth Provisions.

And, sure enough, I looked out and saw Gulley talking to someone who appeared to be the owner. So I got out of line and went outside. The Prius owner was one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. She told me not to worry about it and assured me that she hits her car on her friend’s carport all the time. And then she started bumping it with her hip to show me how everything just pops right back into place.

I apologized profusely and gave her my name and number just in case. And then I just dreaded the moment I had to go home and confess to P that I hit a Prius. That was parked.

He actually took the news really well even though he did make sure to let me know it was possibly the dumbest wreck he’d ever heard of. He asked if Gulley and I were busy talking when it happened and I said no. And he totally busted me because he said that would be the first time EVER we weren’t talking when in the same vicinity.

Truth.

So maybe we were talking. But I was still totally paying attention. My parking physics were just off.

And so we’ll see what happens.

The rest of the weekend was spent just relaxing. On Friday night P went to bed early and Caroline and I curled up on the couch together while we both read books and I don’t know that life gets much better than that.

Then the Aggies won and Johnny Manziel’s knee appears to be fine and if he doesn’t win the Heisman Trophy then they need to quit giving it out.

That’s just my opinion.

And to make up for my lack of actual Thanksgiving photos, here’s a pic I took of the kids while we watched the Aggies. There is no such thing as personal space.

All around, it was a great holiday. In fact, Thanksgiving is my new favorite.