Author: Big Mama

Well.

It is with great regret that I inform you a member of our road trip crew succumbed to a stomach virus yesterday morning. Specifically it was Gulley’s youngest son, Will.

If you’d told me the night before that one of us was going to get sick, I would have placed bets on myself because I made the questionable decision to wolf down those three Taco Supremes. I told Gulley I felt certain eating lettuce from Taco Bell in these questionable bacterial times was a foolhardy choice.

I woke up feeling fine yesterday morning. At least as fine as you can feel after being wedged into the top bunk of a simulated log cabin with a child who likes to practice high kicks in her sleep. However, Will woke up and wandered out to the main part of our hotel room looking a decidedly pale shade of green and shortly began his day of throwing up every thirty minutes.

Which basically solidified all my theories about water parks. They are just Chuck E. Cheese in aquatic form.

When it first began we hoped it would just be a fluke thing. So AJ and I took Jackson and Caroline back down to the water park to play until it was time to check out. But first, we took pictures in the log cabin.

Then we went downstairs and rode all the different slides because the lines are surprisingly short at 9:30 a.m. When we got back up to the room we discovered Will wasn’t any better. Our plan was to head to Bryan to see Gulley’s mama, so we called to tell her we were coming and bringing the plague with us. And, bless her heart, she told us she couldn’t wait to see us.

So we dropped AJ off at home, loaded up plenty of plastic bags, and headed to B/CS. Gulley sat in the back seat with Will and made good use of those plastic bags every 20-30 minutes. Not even Sonic ice helped him.

Eventually, we had to make a restroom stop and there was Buc-ees in Madisonville shining like a bright beacon of hope and comfort. Gulley stayed in the car with Will while I took the kids in to use the bathroom and fortify ourselves with Buc-ees snacks.

And maybe get a photo op with a stuffed beaver.

Can we examine why my child has to make the same facial expressions as stuffed things?

Exhibit A: Queen Esther puppet

It’s like a compulsion.

Anyway, we loaded back into the car and I passed the beef jerky to Gulley. We decided there is really no better indicator you’re a mother than the ability to catch throw up in a plastic bag, disinfect your hands, and ask your friend to pass the beef jerky and the Beaver nuggets. It’s like a unique skill set.

About that time AJ texted us to let us know she’d come down with the plague. Which serves to confirm that no good deed or visit to a water park goes unpunished.

We finally arrived in Bryan. Will officially reached the twelve hour mark of not holding anything down so Gulley took him to the med clinic where they administered anti-nausea medication and, ultimately, a therapeutic mixture of Gatorade and Sprite. They knew he was feeling better when he looked at the nurse and said, “You’re gonna need to get me some more of that”.

As for the rest of the crew, we have thus far dodged the stomach bullet and are taking intermittent baths in Purell while saying our prayers.

I’ll let you know tomorrow if it works out for us.

Here are a few things you need to know:

1. I am NOT wearing a sweatband in that picture from yesterday. It’s a turquoise bracelet that I bought from Charming Charlie’s.

However, the subject of sweatbands always makes me think of waterparks because my daddy used to take us to Schlitterbahn every summer and wore sweatbands around his elbows to prevent the chafing that comes with rowing around in an innertube all day long.

We were as horrified by this as you might imagine.

2. Speaking of waterparks, we are at The Great Wolf Lodge right now, which is a huge indoor waterpark. AJ won a raffle for a one night’s stay and decided to use it when we were in town with the kids. We surprised them with it yesterday and they all agreed it was better than riding public transit.

3. Our room has an actual log cabin with bunk beds for the kids. It also has a queen size bed and the most uncomfortable sleeper sofa in the history of uncomfortable sleeper sofas. I feel like that’s a bold proclamation, but this thing is literally like some springs wrapped in sheet.

4. So we called the front desk to complain and were told that’s just the way it is with sleeper sofas. And AJ replied, “Then you shouldn’t bill it as an actual bed that people can sleep on”. Ultimately they brought us an enormous air mattress.

AJ asked them to blow it up in the hallway because the kids are already passed out and we were afraid it wasn’t going to fit through the door.

5. I ate three Taco Supremes from Taco Bell for dinner last night. Apparently the college student who lives inside me was dying to get out.

6. It’s hard to take pictures at a waterpark. All I have from yesterday are these two:

7. Sleeper sofa bed notwithstanding, this place is really cool.

8. I’m exhausted.

9. I may not even need my melatonin to sleep tonight.

10. But I’m going to take it anyway because an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insomnia.

Friday was Caroline’s last day of day camp and so P and I drove up for the closing ceremonies. We were able to meet her counselors and hear all the songs and cheers she’d learned over the last week, but unfortunately did not get to witness the dance party for ourselves. Which is a shame because there is really nothing better than a dance party where you have to dance or feel embarrassed. Plus I was looking for a chance to “turn around on y’all”.

I also need to tell you that I spent two hours on the phone with AT&T Customer Service (and I use that term loosely) before we ever left for camp because our internet fell and could not get up. There is no reason you need to know this other than my need to complain about it. And to let you know that they finally sent someone over to fix it on Saturday and managed to not only NOT fix our internet, but to break our home phone. Stellar.

Caroline’s counselors at camp were these two darling high school girls. They presented each little girl in their small group with a certificate filled in with the word that best described them during their week of camp. Caroline’s word was COOPERATIVE.

Of course it was.

Most likely because those girls have never had to get her dressed for church on a Sunday morning.

Her fellow campers also wrote four adjectives on a sheet of paper they sent home with us.

I told her I was so proud of her for being happy and caring and asked for a little clarity about the genius part. She said, “Oh, I told them all I was a genius and they saw I was right”.

I don’t even know what to say.

We spent most of Saturday recovering from camp and getting ready to leave on our road trip the next day. That’s right. Gulley and I packed up the kids yesterday and headed out for our SECOND ANNUAL TEXAS TOUR ROAD TRIP EXTRAVAGANZA.

(That’s not necessarily the official name, but it’s kind of catchy. I’ll refer to it as the TTRTE, pronounced “tart”)

After we got home from church, I began to throw some things in our suitcases and asked Caroline which pair of tennis shoes she wanted to pack. She said all of them. To which I replied, “There is no need to bring all those shoes” and then proceeded to throw five pairs of flip-flops in my suitcase. Seriously, physician heal thyself.

Around 1:00 p.m. Gulley and the boys pulled up, we packed the car like we were the Joads heading west and ventured out on the open road. Our first stop was the Capital Building in Austin.

We climbed the stairs to get as high in the rotunda as we could and then took a look around the Senate Chambers.

And discussed how a bill becomes a law. Or maybe we just talked about if we could all get milkshakes later on. I can’t really remember.

All I know is our next stop was for milkshakes.

After four more hours on the road, we arrived at AJ’s house in Dallas. Now I have to go to bed because we’re surprising the kids with a day of BIG FUN tomorrow. They have no idea what we have planned, but are hoping against hope that it involves riding the Dallas Area Rapid Transit, better known as the DART. But since we did that last year and felt like there was a 98.3% chance that our lives were in jeopardy, we’ve decided on something even better than public transportation.

I know it’s hard to imagine that such a thing exists.