Author: Big Mama

I’ll be brief because I am tired

Okay, for those of y’all that must know, the hotel is the historic Union Station Wyndham. Sadly, I have to bid my lovely room and the abundance of feather pillows adieu later this morning. It was nice while it lasted.

In other news, I still can’t breathe through my nose without extensive medication. I’m thinking it may be time to go visit the doctor once I get back home or explore the use of a neti pot, which I can’t really think about because yuck.

Also, I think that some famous country music star might be in the room next door to mine. Not that I’ve actually seen anyone I recognize, but I can hear someone playing the guitar in the next room, and I’m in Nashville, and I feel that it’s a logical conclusion to assume it’s a celebrity.

Perhaps I’ll go loiter in the hallway and see if I can confirm my suspicions.

I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday and OH IS IT GOING TO BE GOOD.

I don’t really know that, but here’s hoping.

Oh, and if you want to read about the DVD taping, you can go on over to Allaccess.
Live from the hotel room

Hey, you know what doesn’t go well together?

A head cold and an airplane flight.

I woke up yesterday morning and have never been more certain that a tiny elf with a sledgehammer had invaded my sinus cavity. So I resorted to desperate measures and took a Zyrtec-D even though I knew that that much pseudoephedrine would cause me to have insomnia and possible hallucinations for the next five days.

Gulley was going to take me to the airport and she showed up at the house as I finished packing my second suitcase. We had already planned to stop at Starbucks on the way to the airport and as we stood in line she took note of the manic look in my eye, my trembling hands and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t order any coffee.”

Oh, but did I heed that piece of advice?

No ma’am. I did not. Girlfriend wanted a non-fat Mocha.

And, thus, I spent the rest of the day completely jacked up.

Hopefully, it will wear off before tomorrow, but if someday you find yourself watching a Vicki Courtney Bible study and see some girl talking 180 miles an hour with a wild look in her eyes, you’ll know why.

The worst part is the plane ride still made me feel like my ears were about to cave in. Apparently, I pseudoephedrined in vain.

As I was getting off the plane, I met one of the other ladies who is going to be a part of the taping and all she had was a carry-on bag. I said, “Please tell me that you checked another bag because I checked two suitcases”.

Nope, she didn’t check a bag. All she brought was her carry-on.

I humbly bow to her packing skills and lack of OCD.

However, once I arrived at the hotel, all my sinus and OCD problems were forgotten because, oh my word, I adore this hotel. Look at my room.

It is a rare hotel that can provide adequately for all my pillow needs.

And check this out.

The elusive fitted bottom sheet.

I’d heard that it existed but had rarely seen it with my own eyes.

Mainly because they don’t have them at the Days Inn.

But, wait, there’s more.

A shower cap AND a grooming kit.

I don’t know why I don’t use a shower cap in my day to day life, but when I find them in hotel rooms I think they are a little gift straight from heaven.

As for the grooming kit, I was curious to see what type of grooming could be done with the contents of that small package. I mean, if all you need for good grooming is in that small box then why the heck have I been hauling around a huge toiletries bag all these years?

Two cottonballs and two Q-tips.

Well sure. If you’re the MacGyver of hygiene.

Anyway, we’re having a great time so far and I’m going to try to get some cool stuff up on the Allaccess blog during the day today. Rumor has it that there is even someone to work on our hair and makeup, which is fortunate since I took a calculated risk and didn’t pack my hot rollers.

Or my Q-tips.

Y’all have a great day.
And maybe she was talking about a rotisserie chicken

So I’m heading to Nashville later this morning to be a part of the DVD taping for Vicki Courtney’s Bible study called, “Five Conversations You Should Have with Your Daughter”.

I will be playing the star-making role of Bible study attendee, which will involve some nodding of my head and listening intently. Fingers crossed that I don’t screw it up or it will be the end of my career as Bible study attendee #2.

For the trip, I am taking an unprecedented TWO suitcases. This is mainly due to the email I got from the wardrobe person who asked that we bring five different outfits complete with all shoes and accessories.

Oh please. I bring five different outfits complete with accessories for an overnight visit. I’ve packed at least ten different wardrobe options including things I haven’t worn since 2002 but decided they might come in handy. By the time I actually get on the plane I may have even packed my denim vest from college because what if I need it for the first time since 1994?

Basically, this whole thing has jet-propelled my OCD to new levels, which has involved making several very concise, detailed lists that proved to be totally pointless as I just threw in everything from my closet that I’ve ever worn or thought about wearing.

Anyway, I spent most of the day yesterday trying to get ready for the trip. I realized we were completely out of bread, eggs, and York Peppermint Patties. Since these are the core requirements of our household I felt like I should go to the store to ensure that my people wouldn’t be living like savages while I’m gone.

While I made a quick trip through the HEB, I heard a familiar song start playing over the sound system and I started humming along before I even knew what song it was.

And then it hit me.

“Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer.

Seriously? “Hot Stuff” is now grocery store music? As if it were something by Air Supply?

All I know is that when “Hot Stuff” was first released I had no idea what Donna Summer meant when she said she was “looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening”, but I knew it was something racy because I wasn’t allowed to listen to it.

And by the time I knew what she probably meant, the song was banished to “K-Tel’s Greatest Hits of the 70’s” and I was busy listening to Color Me Badd.

Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.

As I walked the aisles of HEB yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder if it would make Donna sad to know her classic anthem is now being played to housewives everywhere who hear the words “I’m looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening”, and it just serves as a reminder that they don’t know what they’re cooking for dinner tonight.
Caroline-san

Hi.

How are you?

I am congested and spent most of the day Sunday feeling like death was imminent.

As of now, that’s also my plan for Monday.

I’ll keep you posted.

Back in the days when I was a drug rep, I had an immune system most people would envy. I spent my days sitting in overheated waiting rooms while people laden with the flu bug sneezed all around me and NOTHING. I laughed in the face of the sickness and germs. HA! You’ll have to do better than a giant petri dish disguised as a waiting room to get me sick.

But when Caroline was two, I put her in preschool where kids trade germs like peanut butter sandwiches and pacifiers and I’ve been sick ever since. Perhaps I should buy some echinachea or hose myself down with bleach.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to whine about my head cold/pneumonia.

Actually, yes, I did mean to whine about it because no one in my house is concerned that I have allergies/yellow fever. Only the internet can pity me now.

Anyway, about two weeks ago, I took Caroline to a birthday party at the gym where she takes a Cheer/Tumble class. I have always believed that a girl needs to learn the fine art of spirit fingers and applying glitter to the corners of your eyes at a young age.

While Caroline was busy trying to flip herself over various devices, I talked to another mom who told me she had just enrolled her daughter in Karate classes. She’d actually gone to the Karate school with the intent of enrolling her youngest son because, in her words, “he’s a kid that’s probably going to get beat up a lot”, but the instructors evaluated her daughter as well and deemed her a “karate prodigy”. They agreed to take her son, but only if she’d also let them teach her daughter.

I’m not sure how you determine someone is a karate prodigy, but I guess that’s why I don’t teach karate.

Well, that and the fact that everything I know about karate I learned from Karate Kid I. WAX ON, WAX OFF.

But people, if you can’t learn about the martial arts from Ralph Macchio and Arnold from “Happy Days” then I’m not sure Karate is for you.

Anyway, this mom told me that I should think about signing Caroline up for Karate since she’s so athletic and energetic. I had to agree that it sounded like something Caroline might enjoy. I’d just never considered karate because, well, it’s karate and I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag, plus it doesn’t involve glitter or pom-poms.

On the way home from the party I asked Caroline if she wanted to try a Karate class and she immediately answered, “YES! I WANT TO DO THAT INSTEAD OF BALLET!”

SOLD to the girl in the booster seat in the back of the car.

Caroline and I went to observe a class last week and found out that Saturday was “Bring a Friend, Break a Board” day at the Cobra Kai Dojo, so I made plans for her to attend.

And guess what? She totally broke a board using a move called a hammer fist.

I think it’s just a matter of time before she starts wearing pants that look like the American flag and saying things like, “You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys?”

While I stand beaming with pride on the side and cheer her on with spirit fingers.
Edition 39: Fashion Friday

What I’m about to share with you has absolutely nothing to do with fashion, but I feel I need to get it out there before I can think about fall footwear.

Yesterday, I drove to a little town outside of San Antonio and met Jennifer from Conversion Diary for lunch. She was just as funny and smart as I thought she’d be based on reading her blog and I was so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone.

And by comfort zone, I mean sitting on my couch catching up on the latest “Project Runway” while eating a bag of Sour Patch Kids.

Anyway, Jennifer and I had an exceptional conversation on a variety of topics while we dined on very mediocre Mexican food.

I’ve had some sinus issues over the last several days because, even though it’s still hot and miserable outside, my fall allergies have kicked in. As lunch progressed, I noticed that my right ear was becoming increasingly stopped up and I really hoped I wasn’t screaming at poor Jennifer. My ear impairment had left me with no volume awareness.

After lunch, I got in my car to drive home and since I was all alone I cranked up the radio LOUD and began to sing along. It was delightful.

However, did I mention that my right ear was stopped up? And that the stoppage caused me to really hear myself singing?

This is where I humbly apologize to the dear woman who sat in front of me last Sunday morning as I belted out “Mighty to Save” loud and proud.

And I can’t even think about the fact that I’ve sat directly behind Priscilla Shirer and Beth Moore while I sang at the top of my lungs. It’s a grief to heavy to bear.

Anyway, let’s talk fashion. It will assuage my sorrow.

1. Karen asks: “Help me! I am a shoe idiot. I bought a pair of black pants and I cannot figure out what sort of shoes to wear with them during the winter. They aren’t dressy enough for the black dress boots I wore with my dress pants last year. I usually wear brown leather shoes of some sort with jeans during the winter, but brown doesn’t go with black. Does it?”

You are correct. Brown does not go with black.

I’ve been doing my own research in a quest to find a good, black shoe for everyday wear. I spend the whole summer in my flip-flops and when the weather turns cooler, I need a comfortable shoe that won’t cause my toes to have hypothermia.

I have narrowed down my decision to something like this. Or this. Or maybe these.

If you’re looking for something a little dressier, then you could try something like this.

And if you want something a little more fun, then you could try these.

The key to the right casual look is to find something that’s either flat or maybe has a wedge heel. Personally, I always prefer a heel, but sometimes the reality of running after a child takes precedence and I have to forsake three extra inches for practicality.

2. Amy asks: “I love the look of a ballet flat and that moccasins are making a comeback. What I am wondering is, as a resident of Illinois, what do you wear with the ballet flat or moccasin (if being worn with jeans or pants)? Are there any appropriate socks to wear with them, or knee-highs or what?

I’ll tell you what not to wear. Tube socks.

Honestly, I’m not totally sure about the right solution to this problem. We all know that shoe designers don’t really care about function and practicality, mainly because they’re men and what do they care if women have on uncomfortable shoes?

My inclination is to tell you that what you need are some trouser socks. Either some fun ones like these or some sensible ones like these.

But, let’s be honest, trouser socks are really just glorified knee-highs and I’ve been to Illinois in the winter time. I don’t know that a sheer layer of nylon is going to provide that much extra warmth.

So I recant my earlier statement, go with a tube sock. Or a pair of Uggs.

Anyone else have a better idea? Northern girls? Let us know the secret to fashionably warm feet whether you’re wearing a skirt or jeans.

I’m going to have to end on that note because my very own little fashionista just wandered in here wearing her “Cutie Pie” pajamas and needs her mama.

Y’all have a great Friday!
The couch: a sequel

Who knew there would be so much interest in my compelling couch story? My couch and I are overjoyed.

Stay tuned for next week when I will discuss my dining room chairs.

Here is a picture of the newly cleaned couch.

If you don’t like it, please don’t mention it because I am stuck with it for at least the next thirteen years. At which time I can load it on to a UHaul and send it off to college with Caroline. It will be perfect for all the Bible studies I’m sure she’ll host in her apartment.

It really is a great couch. Very comfortable and, apparently, truly wash and wear. Everything comes off and can go in the washing machine. I had to pull up the cushions because I couldn’t remember who made it. Clearly, I am all about brand loyalty.

Anyway, it’s by a company called Lee Industries. I highly recommend their furniture and they should feel free to send me an upholstered chair and ottoman in exchange for the shout out.

Y’all have a great day! I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday. We’ll be discussing shoes and some other stuff.