Author: Big Mama

Well, let me just say, honesty? Definitely the best policy. I wrote yesterday’s post in a flurry of emotion and frustration and posted it without thinking twice. Later on I thought, “Sweet mercy, what did I just post on the internet for everyone, including my mother-in-law, to read?”

And for the record, I cried again while I read through all of your sweet, encouraging comments. I think all mamas just need to know that we’re not the only ones who have contemplated running away from home, or better yet, packing our child’s bags and letting them run away from home, because after all, we’re the ones paying the mortgage.

So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for responding to my raw honesty with your heartfelt sincerity. Seriously, I can’t express how much all of your encouragement meant to me. We’re all in this motherhood business together and I personally don’t have room for someone who claims to LOVE! EVERY! MINUTE! of being a mama.

But now, let’s talk about something really important.

American Idol.

I normally don’t talk about American Idol because I believe that Boomama does an excellent job of covering the highlights and lowlights every week (much like she does with her hair), but I just have to make a few comments because Gulley called me yesterday and asked, “How is it that I am late for the party known as American Idol?”

All I could tell her was I have no idea, but I am equally guilty. This is the first season I have ever watched AI and truth be told, I only started watching because Boomama promised it had more drama and tears than The Bachelor, and if that’s the case, then count me in.

I partially blame my initial lack of AI interest on Survivor.

P and I were big Survivor fans during Season 1 and 2 while Survivor mania gripped the nation, but then Season 3 came along and we lost interest. I quit believing in the entertainment value of reality T.V. and chose to watch more highbrow television, such as reruns of Seinfeld and ER.

If I am perfectly honest, I felt like maybe I was too good for American Idol and its throngs of devotees, which is more than ironic when you consider that I watch The Bachelor.

I can’t believe how wrong I was.

It’s a travesty of epic proportions that I have been missing out on this level of entertainment season after season. In fact, Gulley and I even wondered today if we could rent the past seasons on DVD. We don’t even care that we know who won and we wouldn’t be able to watch Kelly Clarkson without wanting to hear her sing “Since You’ve Been Gone”.

We feel like we were late for the prom, but without all the pastel taffeta and alcohol concealed in flasks.

Tuesday night was Gulley’s first night to ever watch, and she only turned it on because there was nothing else on. She called me Wednesday and before I could even say hello, she asked, “What is up with Paula Abdul? Girlfriend acts like she’s taken a baker’s dozen of the Percocet.”

And with that comment, we were off and running.

“Oprah needs to call Sanjaya and tell him she wants her hair back”

“Why would anyone try to make Motown all electronic and modern?”

“Endless Love is a bad enough song without changing it to make it worse.”

“Don’t tell Diana Ross (after she tells you that she wrote Missing You because of her sadness over the tragic death of Marvin Gay) that you’re singing it because you miss your fiance in San Antonio.”

“I have got to find me a dress like the one Stephanie Edwards had on last night. She may not win AI, but she’s my vote for best dressed.”

“Why does everyone think Simon is so mean? He’s just honest.” (Granted, I am married to someone who lives by the code that if you don’t want to hear the truth, then you better not ask.)

Two new American Idol fans have been born, and along with Sanjaya and his hair, we’ll be back next week.

After yesterday’s post so many of y’all (and by many, I mean Jeana and lurker) inquired about what exactly a Diamond Darling is, that I feel compelled to answer. I’m also sure many others were wondering, but just didn’t want to ask.

Appease me here, people.

I started writing this post earlier and realized when I typed the words “Texas A&M was a land grant institution founded in 1876”, that I was, in fact, writing the most boring post of all time. All the two of you wanted to know was what exactly a Diamond Darling is, not the entire history of the Texas higher education system.

If y’all would have asked me during college what my major was, if I answered truthfully, the answer should have been Diamond Darlings. I spent more time and energy on this extracurricular activity that I did on anything else I did in college, as evidenced by the fact that when my dad came to visit during my sophomore year in college, I pointed at the wrong building and told him it was the library.

Oh yes, that tuition was money well spent.

Diamond Darlings are essentially bat girls/hostesses for the Texas A&M baseball team. They are chosen through a series of applications and interviews with athletic department personnel and now there is even a test to assess their knowledge of baseball. The test is part of the tryout process because during my first year as a Diamond Darling, one of the girls kept referring to the umpire as the catcher.

So, obviously not everyone was trying out for pure love of the game.

And no, that girl wasn’t me.

Now, I usually hesitate to mention that I was a Diamond Darling (so why am I posting about it for all the internet to see?) because unless someone went to Texas A&M and knows what all the Diamond Darlings do, there is a certain stereotype that seems to come with saying you were a bat girl. It’s kind of an assumption that all we did was hang out and date the players, which was strictly forbidden and we never did unless there were extenuating circumstances, like if he was really cute.

The thing is though, being a Diamond Darling gave me some of the best memories of my college career. It’s how I met Gulley, Jen and Tiff, who still remain my best friends in the world. It’s the reason that to this day if I hear Van Halen singing Top of the World on a spring day, I feel an urge to get in my car and find a baseball game to watch. It’s the reason that I watch The College World Series every year and cry no matter who wins.

My last year as a Diamond Darling, the Aggies actually made it to the College World Series. Gulley and I were dying to make the trip to Omaha with the team, but summer school was starting that same week and we were both supposed to start school. My dad agreed to let me go, but Gulley’s dad told her she needed to stay and go to school. Y’all can imagine his surprise when he turned on ESPN one night to watch the Aggies play and saw Gulley sitting on the bench outside the dugout at Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha, Nebraska blowing a huge bubble while looking at the camera.

And we both agreed, it was totally worth it.

So, there you have it. A little history of the Diamond Darlings. I’m sure I could have done other things that probably would have looked better on a resume, but I guarantee they wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun, given me nearly as many good memories, or taught me that you should never bend at the waist to pick up a baseball bat while wearing short white shorts.

Always bend at the knees.

There are some lessons that can’t be learned in a classroom.

Yesterday was a momentous day at our house. First of all, Caroline slept until 10:00 a.m. Let me say that again. Ten ‘o clock in the morning. Granted, it was really 9:00, but with the time change the clocks said 10:00 a.m. And now that the government conspiracy to force us to spring ahead is upon us, it’s all about what the clocks say, not about what the people may want, such as an hour of their life back.

Anyway, sleeping in until 10 a.m. was pure, unmitigated bliss.

By the time we got up, it was way too late to make it to church, so P fixed us all some breakfast complete with honey biscuits. Then, after breakfast, the second landmark moment of the day arrived. It was raining outside and I had been promising Caroline that on the next rainy day, I would set up her ladybug tent. So, I asked her if she wanted me to put up the tent.

Stupid question.

OH! MY! TENT! MY! BEAUTIFUL! LADYBUG! TENT! YES! YES! YES! I AM SO EXCITED!!!

And since I am so astute, I realized that she did, indeed, want me to set up the tent. I set it up in her playroom, put her Cinderella inflatable bed in it and got her portable DVD player out of the closet. Y’all, she stayed in that playroom with her tent for the better part of the day. She played with her dolls, her letters, read her books, and watched her movies. The only peep I heard out of her was when she needed some animal crackers or lemonade.

So, while she was so wonderfully occupied, the third momentous thing of the day occurred. I did my bi-annual closet clean out.

Shall we all have a moment of silence and reverence for the winter clothes that are no longer with us?

Every year at the end of Summer, I do a complete closet clean out and figure out what I need for Fall and Winter. Then, when Spring arrives, I do the same thing. I cleaned, I rearranged, I assessed my wardrobe needs for Spring and Summer.

Maybe it was because I was a little bitter about losing an hour as I slept on Saturday night, but I showed my closet no mercy. I got rid of things I have held on to for way too long, but couldn’t bear to get rid of them. Brighton belts anyone? I have always saved them before because they weren’t cheap and I kept thinking they might come back in style.

Today, I realized that even if shiny braided belts with tons of silver were to come back in style, there is no way one of these belts would fit around the waist of low rise jeans. They are made to go with high waist, tapered jeans….and if that look ever comes back the least of my issues will be what belt I’m going to wear. The belts are gone.

I also purged my closet of all maternity wear. Granted, it’s going to my friend E if she wants it, but even if she doesn’t, it’s not going back in my closet. It will be lucky if it gets a box in the attic.

I got rid of pajamas I’ve had since the mid-90’s, costume jewelry that was made to go with the Brighton belts, and underwear that I wore throughout nine months of pregnancy that no longer had a prayer of staying up without the use of safety pins and duct tape.

So, y’all would think with all that extensive cleaning out that I didn’t keep anything that isn’t going to be worn on my body in the next 12 months…well, you would be wrong.

After my cleanout last season, I posted a few pictures of things that I continue to hold on to and all of those items still remain in my closet. However, I discovered a few more things that still have a home, despite the fact that unless I undergo a complete lobotomy, will not be worn any time soon…or ever again.

This is my Diamond Darling jacket from college. I had to cover up part of it because it has my maiden name in cursive writing for that extra classy touch. Why do I keep it? It was covered in dust when I pulled it down from my closet and I can assure you that I wouldn’t put it on if it were 30 degrees outside and it was the only jacket in my closet.

However, I will keep it, along with my beautiful, gold Diamond Darling pendant that spelled out Diamond Darlings in cursive…you know, to match the name in cursive on my jacket.

Nice.

Now, these are a pair of black ropers modeled by Caroline (and yes, she was still in her pajamas at 3:00. So was I.). I haven’t worn them in at least ten years and don’t see that I will ever wear them again, but they are a part of a great romantic story. P bought them for me for our second Valentines day when we were dating. Actually, he didn’t so much buy them for me as tell me “Hey, why don’t you go buy yourself some black ropers and I’ll make that your Valentine’s Day present.” Oh yes, he has always been a smooth talkin’ devil.

The real mystery is why I wanted a pair of black ropers to begin with. I think it had something to do with going to the rodeo that year and I needed them to complete my outfit. It may be the only time I ever wore them.

This is not a large, mutant caterpillar. It is the removeable fur collar from a leather jacket that I used to own. The jacket was this gorgeous, black leather and was from Harold’s. It was one of the first really nice things I bought for myself with my own money and it was stolen out of the back of my car in a parking garage in Austin, Texas along with a faux fur leopard print coat.

I can’t talk about it anymore or I’ll start to cry.

At least I’d have this nice fur collar to wipe my tears on.

The last item that still inexplicably still has a place in my closet is this.

The bridesmaid dress that I wore in my sister’s wedding. I don’t know why I still have it other than the fact that I paid more to have it altered than the dress actually cost. This wasn’t on purpose. I was just naive and took it to seamstress who told me what needed to be done and I said “Sure”. After all, how much can some minor alterations cost?

I’ll tell you, ALOT.

The thing is even if P and I had some big, swanky party to attend, I would never, NEVER say “Oh, I’ll just pull out that periwinkle blue bridesmaid dress. It will be perfect!”

But, in spite of the things I can’t make myself get rid of, my closet is all ready for Spring. I am embarrassed to admit how many times this evening I’ve gone in there to admire it. Here, I’ll show y’all some pictures.

Please notice that there are no wire hangers to be found. I don’t know much, but I am certain that hell is full of wire hangers. They are a menace to society. But in true fashion, opposites do attract because look at P’s side of the closet. It’s where the wire hangers go to die.

Oh, and the big, white box way up at the top of my closet contains my wedding dress, which of course, I would never even consider throwing out. I’ll just keep it up there and let it take up a huge amount of space so that in twenty-five years Caroline can have the time honored tradition of telling me “There is no way I’m going to wear your wedding dress. I want my own.”

Maybe she’ll want the Diamond Darling jacket.

When I started blogging back in July, I wasn’t sure that I would even last a week. I didn’t tell anyone about it until almost a month later when I realized that this may actually be something I’d continue to do on a regular basis.

Lately the question has been going around asking why you blog. In fact, I was tagged for that particular question by Rachel at RPL Communications. For me, I started blogging because I wanted to record memories and I’ve always felt like I might have a book in me somewhere and writing more often might help it come out. However, I’m not entirely sure there is a market for a book that details one’s experiences cleaning up toddler poop, OCD tendencies and burrito riots that took place in their high school.

Really, it’s all the makings of a best seller.

Anyway, the unexpected thing I discovered about blogging is it’s so much more than that. I have made some real friends. P is always just thrilled when I blurt out a piece of information that I learned from “my internet friends”. I realize that in some circles it might make me sound a little dorky, but I’m in my mid-30’s and do plenty of other things that would qualify me for the less than cool crowd.

The best thing about blogging for me, other than being able to write, is reading about other mamas and knowing that we all share many of the same experiences. It creates a whole new kind of community.

Shortly after I told my sister about Big Mama, she told me her friend Janet also had a blog. I have only met Janet once or twice, but I started reading her blog because it made me laugh. Then, through Janet and the magic that is the internet, I got to know her whole little circle of friends.

They are funny, smart and make me laugh, even if some of them are admittedly tree hugging liberals who are affiliated with a university which shall remain unnamed, but is located in Austin, Texas. I forgive them for that and they forgive me for being the new poster child of the NRA.

We are all mamas and understand the things that are truly important in life, such as trying to maintain some semblance of sanity and a sense of humor while raising our kids.

So, if y’all are looking for something new and different to read, go take a look at these posts.

Janet at Life with the Wisners and read about her adventures in babysitting

Amy at Franklin Five and read about her new love of minivans

Tracey at More than a Minivan Mom and read her sweet tribute to her Poppi

And if you’re looking for some gorgeous photos to admire, then go visit Jen at The Sweet Life, it will make you want to pack up your children and take them immediately to wherever she may be so that she can take pictures of them.

Thanks for the laughs, girls.