Author: Big Mama

  • It’s break time

    Sometimes life just gets a little hectic and it seems like I’ve hit one of those times. I have a lot on my plate right now and just need to step back and take a little blog break for the next few days.

    In the meantime, since I seem to have a lot of new readers these days, I’ll leave y’all with some of my favorite posts about the family of Big Mama.

    This is about my big Italian family

    This is about my Big Bob

    This is about my Mema

    This is about my Papa

    This is about my Nanny

    I’ll see y’all in a few days. God bless.

  • If I embarrass her now, just wait

    One day this week, I walked Caroline into her class at school and as I hugged her goodbye, she noticed the necklace I had on. She kept her arm around me, turned to her friends sitting at the table and said with pride, “This is my Mama, she wears beautiful jewelry”.

    Ironically, when I wore my houseshoes to her ballet class the next day, she didn’t feel the need to introduce me.

    She’s such an accessories snob.

  • Dogs, pigs and Longhorns…oh my!

    I realize that in talking about the toxic poop blowout yesterday, I completely overlooked all of the excitement we had this past weekend that didn’t involve throwing away a perfectly good pair of tights. I now feel it is my duty (as opposed to doody) to fill y’all in on the big happenings at the house of Big Mama.

    Please realize that the term “big happenings” may be a slight exaggeration.

    Saturday, Mimi and Bops took Caroline and me to see Go Dog Go! at the local children’s theater. It was our first trip to the theater and I have to say that all of us loved it. The performance was great and I loved watching Caroline’s face as she laughed out loud at so many different parts. The whole experience was perfect, except for the beginning when the director, who apparently forgot he was talking to an audience made up of little people with attention spans like a housefly on speed, kept going on and on about the concept behind Go Dog Go!. Bops leaned over and whispered “This guy is about to put me under”, so just imagine how the younger crowd felt.

    After the show, Caroline and I drove down to meet P at the ranch. I realize that some of y’all may be wondering when Big Mama became a showcase of dead animals as opposed to a bastion of mediocre writing, so I promise this will be the last picture of carnage that I’ll post for awhile. But Caroline was so proud of what she and her daddy “KILLED” that I just have to share this picture.

    In case any of y’all are wondering, those aren’t actually pigs, they are javelinas and they are nasty, stinky little creatures that have sharp teeth. It was like a dream come true watching my baby girl poke and prod these dead animals…really like something out of Beatrix Potter book.

    And speaking of livestock that didn’t fare too well, how about the Aggies giving the Longhorns a 100-82 beating last night? Y’all didn’t think I wouldn’t mention it, did you? Gig’em Ags!

    I promise that I will now return to our regular programming of things that don’t involve dead pigs and sports.

  • Toxic (and I’m not talking about a Britney Spears song)

    Yesterday, Caroline went running into the bathroom and pretty soon, I heard her calling my name. I know exactly what that means. Mama only gets called in for heavy duty, toxic cleanup.

    It’s always a pleasure.

    We took care of the business and she went back in the living room to finish watching Max and Ruby.

    A few minutes later, nature and Caroline called again. Loudly.

    I ran into the living room to see her standing in a very bow legged position and saying “Oh Mama, I have poo-poo”. That will go down as the understatement of the century. The only blessing in the whole scenario was that she had on tights, which helped keep the situation fairly contained.

    I carried her very carefully into the bathroom and stripped her down. All I can say is it was legendary.

    Later on, the phone rang and when I saw on Caller ID that it was Bops, I let Caroline answer the phone. Here’s the side of the conversation I heard.

    “Hi Bops!”

    “I’m wearing my new My Little Pony panties and they’re purple!”

    “We’re just hanging out and I had a huge blowout”.

  • Who knew we were a basketball school?


    I realize that today is Super Bowl Sunday and a lot of y’all are all hyped up about the big game, but for me, the big game was last night. The #9 Aggies beat #6 Kansas with a 3 pointer in the last 20 seconds of the game.

    Back when I was at Texas A&M, which sadly has been more years than I can even fathom, no one ever even went to a basketball game unless you needed a quiet place to study. These days so many people are camping out for tickets that they are having to come up with a new system to sell them.

    Moments like last night are the reason why. Gig’em Ags.


    And Boomama, you know I was hollerin’.

  • The wild, wild west

    This morning, as I came stumbling out of the bedroom, P said to me, “You didn’t post anything last night”. For any of y’all who were thinking the same thing, let me explain the reason why.

    We went to the rodeo last night.

    By the time we got home, I was so exhausted that if I had written a post, this is what it would have said.

    We went to the rodeo last night.

    Now that it is the morning after, I am still suffering from a turkey leg/sausage on a stick/funnel cake hangover, but I think I can at least hit the high points.

    Our morning started yesterday with Caroline leaping out of the bed and yelling “Let’s go watch some bullridin’ right now. Let me get my hat!”. As I made her lunch and got her ready to go to school, the hat remained on her head the entire time. There really are few things cuter than a cowgirl in footie pajamas.

    By the time I picked her up from school, she was at a level of frenzy that I can’t explain other than to say there was a lot of talking! about! the! bulls! All I could think was that she was completely wired and hadn’t even had cotton candy yet.

    We went with some friends of ours and their daughter, Sadie, who is Caroline’s age. As we all walked onto the fairgrounds, the girls held hands while they pointed out all THE COWS! AND THE TRASH CANS THAT LOOK LIKE COWS! AND THE HUGE HORSES!

    We got there a little early so that we’d have time to eat the prerequisite rodeo food before the show started. Where else but the fair and the rodeo can you eat a dinner that can be summed up by saying, “I’ll start with the foot long corndog, followed by a turkey leg, an onion blossom, sausage on a stick and a fresh squeezed lemonade to wash it all down. Then for dessert, let’s have a couple of funnel cakes topped off with some cotton candy.”

    The best part is it’s all so economical that our little family of three was able to eat dinner for about $100.00. And in case y’all were wondering, that price includes the indigestion.

    We finally headed inside for the actual rodeo portion of the evening. Last night was opening night, which means one thing, XTREME Bull Riding, bull riding that is so tough that they don’t need to put the E in XTREME.

    We were on our way to our seats, when the very helpful usher informed us that the show was about to start and we’d have to wait outside until the opening sequence of the rodeo was over, which would take about fifteen minutes and included FIREWORKS! and a RING! OF! FIRE!. I did what all mamas would do and threw myself on his mercy and begged that he let us take the little girls in because this would be their favorite part. He was very kind, understanding and accommodating and said, “Nope, sorry”, as he let the guys selling glow in the dark necklaces, beer and cotton candy go on in. Obviously, they had priority over the people who had actually purchased tickets.

    When we saw that he had just let them in, P decided that there was no way the cotton candy salesman was going to see the fireworks and our daughter wasn’t, so he and Sadie’s mama took charge and just walked on in while the rest of us followed. It was an incredible act of rebellion that was obviously taking place all over the arena, given the floods of people walking to their seats.

    So, with my heart still beating a little fast over our usher coup de grace due to the fact that I am such a rebel by nature, we found our seats and watched the opening of the rodeo, which really is the best part. Where else can you find real cowboys, fireworks and a ring of fire that would make Johnny Cash proud? Top it all off with the Star Spangled Banner and you’ve got yourself a little piece of Texas heaven.

    We watched the rodeo clowns, including the legendary Leon Coffee and we watched the little kids in the Mutton Bustin’ competition while Caroline looked on with pure envy. It’s just a matter of time before she asks for her own helmet and mutton so that she can compete on the lucrative Mutton Bustin’ circuit. The little boy that won last night even received his very own belt buckle, if y’all can even imagine.

    Then, it was time for XTREME Bulls. Let me just say that if I had a son, I would not want him to be a bull rider. Of course if he were to be a bull rider, I’d have to name him Cody, B.J., or Travis, since that seems to be a requirement for young men who want to risk their life on a bull.

    We watched, we cheered, we laughed and a grand time was had by all. But really, for me, the hero of the night wasn’t the young man named B.J. who won the bull riding competition, it was P. Not just because he made sure Caroline got to see the opening fireworks, but because most importantly, he brought enough Tums in his pocket for everyone.