Diary

  • Words don’t do it justice

    We had so much fun this weekend. Honestly, I don’t even know where to start.

    But, if I don’t start somewhere then I’ll just sit here like I’ve been sitting here for the last 2 hours, procrastinating, because I don’t even know how to tell y’all about the weekend.

    I think for lack of a better format, I’m going to tell y’all about the weekend in chronological order. Be prepared, it may be a two-parter.

    Gulley and I left town at 2 p.m. sharp. We had spent the last week hoping and praying that no one would get sick, and as soon as we checked one last time for fever or illness, we were outta here.

    I hate to confess this but I may have burned rubber pulling out of her driveway.

    We stopped in San Marcos because I hadn’t eaten lunch and was in need of a little nourishment. So, we pulled through DQ and ordered some fries and Diet Cokes. I handed the girl a fifty dollar bill and she gave me back $4.00 in change.

    I do love some fries but $46.00 seemed a little steep.

    I told her I had given her $50.00 and she mumbled incoherently as she counted out my real change. Then, as a bonus, she spilled a LARGE Diet Coke all over the side of my car.

    Good times.

    And not messy at all.

    She was fortunate that nothing was going to steal my joy.

    We drove on and finally arrived in Bryan. I can’t even explain how long it took for me to unload my clothes out of the car because I realize I have a problem. I don’t need it confirmed here on the internet. Let’s just say Gulley and I could have been stranded for SEVERAL days, possibly weeks, and never had to wear the same thing twice.

    I lack what some may call decision-making skills.

    We walked into Gulley’s mama’s house and, much to my delight, Nena was there. She wanted to come, watch us get ready and dole out her fashion advice. But since it wasn’t quite time to get ready, we sat and visited for a while.

    Nena told us all about this story she had seen on the news about some woman who survived out at sea for NINETEEN DAYS. It seems this woman remembered that most of your body heat escapes from your head so she had tied her bikini top around her head to try to maintain some body heat.

    Nena went on and on about this woman surviving NINETEEN DAYS with just her bikini top tied around her head, and finally Big said, “Wow. Nineteen days? That’s incredible. Are you sure?”

    And Nena said, “Well, maybe it was just nineteen hours.”

    Yes, that would seem more likely.

    She also told us a story about a friend of hers that has always been SO BEAUTIFUL. She said, “She was SO BEAUTIFUL that men turned their heads to watch her walk down the street …IN DALLAS.”

    It’s no small feat to turn the heads of big city men. That takes some doin’.

    We finally started getting ready. And oh what joy to get ready from beginning to end with no interruptions. I didn’t have to stop to wipe anyone’s bottom or open a cheese stick or stick a straw in a juice box. I just curled my hair and listened to the soothing sound of the sizzle that let me know it was going to be a good hair night.

    Gulley decided to wear a strapless dress and, once Nena realized this, it became imperative that she wear a “stole” with it. Nena even offered to go home and get her stole so that Gulley could borrow it. I think the very idea that Gulley was going to expose her bare shoulders at Briarcrest Country Club was enough to make Nena reach for her smelling salts.

    Gulley told her I had brought a stole for her to wear and she would be properly covered. Nena grabbed me on our way out the door and said, “Make SURE that stole gets worn” as if the very reputation of their family depended on it.

    Needless to say, the stole did not get worn.

    And I’m only sharing this information because Nena doesn’t have a computer. As Gulley would say, “No one wants to be Nena’s I.T. person.”

    Talk about a full-time job.

    The next morning Nena called Gulley’s mama to get the report on our evening and the first question she asked was, “Did anyone else have on a strapless dress?” I told her they did and none of them were wearing stoles.

    Horrified doesn’t even begin to cover her reaction. You would have thought I told her these girls took off their shoes and ate with their feet.

    Anyway, we had a great time Friday night. We saw friends we hadn’t seen in years and got caught up on what everyone has been doing for the last 15 years. I also saw several scrapbooks that contained photos of me with hair that was not a color found in nature and so large it didn’t fit in the picture.

    And, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but in one of them I was wearing WHITE hose with FUSCHIA flats and a FUSCHIA dress with a white bow across the top that was bigger than my head.

    Which is saying something.

    I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t pretty.

    And not even a stole would have helped. Unless maybe I wrapped it around my head.

    Like that girl did with her bikini top for 19 days at sea.

    I’ll be back tomorrow with more reports from the weekend. And pictures!

  • Quick weekend update

    A few thoughts from the weekend.

    1. Texas A&M is truly one of the greatest places on earth. It had been so long since I had attended a game at Kyle Field that I had forgotten how incredible it is. It is, seriously, the best place in the world to watch a college football game. And I’m only slightly biased.

    At halftime, in the middle of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie band performance, Former President George H.W. Bush and Secretary of Defense, Dr. Robert Gates, came out on the field and awarded an Aggie Marine, Class of ’03, a Medal of Honor for his service in Iraq.

    Honestly, it was the best part of the night and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the stadium. Incredible moment.

    2. On a less serious note, sitting a few rows ahead of us were some students from Kansas. They had on shirts that made us laugh out loud. Gulley and I had to get a picture with them.

    The only problem is that we love our 12th Man. The Aggies would have been much better off if he had eaten our coach.

  • Edition 6: Fashion Friday

    I haven’t even mentioned that Gulley and I are headed to College Station for a big college reunion type thing.

    But we are.

    We are leaving town around 2:00 today and will be sans the petites until early Sunday afternoon. Excited doesn’t really even begin to cover it. And yes, our kids are darling. We love our kids. But a break? A break is good.

    Even the Lord rested on the Sabbath. And He didn’t have to constantly heat up Dino nuggets.

    So, fashion has been foremost on my mind as I’ve begun packing my bag for a weekend away. There is nothing that stresses me out more than being away from my closet. It completely eliminates my compulsive need to be able to decide on a new outfit at the last moment.

    Plus, what of the weather changes that may occur? How do they know it will be 75 degrees and sunny on Saturday? How can I know how much the temperature will change between 6 p.m. kickoff at Kyle Field and 9:30 p.m. when the game finally ends? It’s like a roll of the fashion dice.

    I’m at the mercy of the meteorologists.

    And in other not-necessarily-fashion news, I got a haircut on Wednesday. After a long series of disappointments, I have returned head in hands to my former hairdresser. She knows my hair and I don’t know why I ever left her.

    I had a wandering eye that led me to bangs and I am repentant.

    She took me back and this was my second reunited-and-it-feels-so-good haircut since my return. The cut is great, but when she styled it she parted it on the opposite side from where it has been parted for the last 26 years or so. She said it was because changing the part gave me more volume.

    That may be true, but it has completely thrown my equilibrium off. I wish I were kidding when I say it has made my head noticeably lean to one side as if to compensate from the incredible weight of the hair. Not to mention the fact that my hair keeps falling in my left eye as opposed to my right eye. My vision is completely out of whack.

    And peripheral vision? Forget about it.

    So tomorrow I will style it myself, return my part to its proper location and once again be able to hold my head upright. Have I ever mentioned I don’t do well with change?

    On to the question portion of this post. This week I received a few questions that deal more with beauty issues than fashion. My first thought was that I don’t wear a lot of makeup so I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer beauty questions. But then I realized I can do the same thing I do with the fashion questions and just fake my way through it as if I know what I’m talking about.

    It’s a technique I learned from my days of selling pharmaceutical products where I arbitrarily threw around terms like “CYP3A9” and “Apo B Lipoprotein” and “Sugar Diabetes”.

    Here we go.

    1. Rachel asks: “As for lipstick, do you prefer matte or shiny? I hear that matte is making a comeback, but I’m still partial to a little bit of shine. Also, do you buy at the department store where you get to preview the color on your lips as well as hear a few kinds words from the ladies in black aprons or do you play guess and lose at the drug store? I like the bargain prices, but not my bin full of not quite right lipstick. What are your thoughts?”

    Matte may be making a comeback, but supposedly so are skinny jeans and you won’t see me wearing them. I am not a fan of the matte lip. I think even a hint of shine is much more flattering.

    Of course I may be biased because matte lipstick makes me think of my Aunt Fina who has worn bright red matte lipstick for the last 65 years. Or as she would say, “lipstickt”.

    That picture should encourage y’all to go with some shine. And also, serve as a lesson that a little bit of blush goes a long way.

    I have never been a department store makeup kind of girl. Mainly because I have the propensity to be a huge sucker for beauty products and if I dare to step in Sephora and let one of those lovely cosmeticians have their way with my face, I would feel compelled to buy every product they used so that I could replicate what they have just done. Once home I would realize they are professionals and I need more than the products to get the same results. And there I would be with hundreds of dollars worth of disillusionment sitting in my makeup bag.

    Not that I’ve ever done that. I’m just speaking hypothetically.

    I have always been able to find good products at the CVS and they will usually let you return a product if you get home and discover it’s the wrong color. Or y’all can do what I do and just buy the same colors all the time, but in different brands and formulations.

    My favorite lip products at this moment are Neutrogena Moisture Shine in Chic (pronounced Chick in certain circles), Covergirl Lipslicks in Daring, Almay Ideal Gloss in Wine Shimmer, E.L.F. Plumping Lip Glaze in Mocha Ice, and Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Nutmeg.

    And actually there are dozens more, but that’s just what was in my purse. I’m not kidding.

    Y’all will notice that these are all a variation on a theme and that theme is wine/brown/mocha tones. Keep in mind that I have a medium skin tone, brown hair and brown eyes. These colors look best on me.

    Pink, in any form or fashion of lip color, hates me. In fact, it despises me.

    However, if you’re a lovely, fair-skinned blonde girl, pink may be your BFF. I hope y’all are very happy together.

    2. Cricket asks: “I am in my early thirties and am noticing more and more CHIN HAIR each day! What do I do? Pluck every day? Is there a better way?”

    Yes. Pluck. Pluck like the wind.

    Or you could go see about laser hair removal for chins. But make sure you’re into pain and agony because it is every bit as painful as watching a “Diff’rent Strokes” marathon.

    That’s all I’ve got for this week because I need to do things like pack my suitcase and watch multiple weather forecasts so that I can obsess about the high temperature for Saturday and whether or not I’ll need a light sweater or a coat for the game.

    Maybe I should just pack both.

    Or maybe I should be more concerned about whether or not the Aggies can beat the hell out of Kansas.

    Y’all have a great weekend!

  • Happiness is Lubbock, Texas in my rearview mirror

    I don’t think it will really surprise anyone to know that the A&M game today caused me to make chocolate chip cookies so that I could self-medicate with cookie dough.

    Here’s a little history lesson.

    The last time the Aggies won in Lubbock was 1993.

    I was at the game.

    As a student.

    I should have known after last week’s game when Coach Fran said, “We may not win another game all season…” that he wasn’t kidding.

    But seriously, there may not be enough chocolate to get me through the rest of the season.

  • It’s a veritable sea of television riches

    About a week ago, Gulley informed me she had purchased the new special issue of TV Guide featuring the scoop on all the new fall shows. Her exact words the next day were “I was up until midnight trying to power through the fall schedule”.

    And I laughed.

    But that was before she loaned me her copy of TV Guide and I, too, had to power through it.

    This happens every fall. After the long television drought of summer, the promise of a brighter tomorrow in the form of quality viewing finally arrives. It’s such a hopeful time filled with much promise and anticipation.

    Of course, for every “Friday Night Lights” there is a “Vanished”.

    What’s “Vanished”?

    That’s exactly my point.

    So, after spending way too much time perusing the T.V. guide, while perhaps even using a highlighter, I believe I have come up with the shows I will watch or, at the very least, give a whirl.

    Monday night is always a banner night. 4 words.

    “Dancing with the Stars”. This year, they are using the term “star” loosely.

    Although there will never be another Emmitt, this season features Wayne Newton, Marie Osmond and Jane Seymour. We’re bound to either see some good dancing or watch someone break a hip on national television. I am fired up.

    Yes, I realize it came on yesterday, but I haven’t watched it yet. It’s waiting for me on the DVR because I’ve only had time to watch…

    “The Bachelor”.

    My enjoyment of “The Bachelor” has increased 100 fold since I’ve come to the realization that none of these couples will ever last. I just sit back and watch the drama unfold. Watching “The Bachelor” is the equivalent of eating 100 Kit Kats at one sitting, you know it’s too much, but it’s so good you can’t help yourself.

    This season’s bachelor is from Austin, Texas. He owns a bar called The Chuggin’ Monkey. It’s obviously upscale.

    And classy.

    On Monday night, one woman even showed off her webbed toes in an effort to make a good first impression.

    Webbed toes.

    That’s all I’m going to say about that.

    Well, except for this. Ladies, if any of y’all are single, do NOT show off your webbed toes on a first date. Webbed toes should be saved for at least the 11th date.

    Or perhaps even marriage.

    Tuesday nights have nothing to offer in my opinion. Which is a relief. It will give me time to read a book or something.

    Although, let’s be honest, I’ll probably need this time to catch up on all the hour long dramas I am attempting to fit into my viewing schedule.

    Wednesday nights present a huge dilemma for me. There are way too many shows I’d like to check out, but alas, I can only record two things on my DVR at one time. And that’s only if P isn’t home.

    Because if he’s home, there is no way he’s going to sit around and not watch T.V. so that I can record “America’s Next Top Model”, “Private Practice”, and “Bionic Woman”, otherwise known as the Estrogen Fest.

    Not to mention, he may want to record something like “Babe Winkelman’s Guide to the Outdoors”.

    I wish I were kidding.

    So, if I had to pick (It’s like Sophie’s Choice, how do I make this decision? Here have an arm. No, have a leg.) I’ll choose “Private Practice”. And truth be told, I can catch up with all the future top models on some kind of VH-1 marathon at some point.

    Here’s a little secret. I don’t believe any of them have really gone on to be America’s Next Top Model, although one of them married the guy who played Peter Brady.

    Not exactly a threat to Gisele Bundchen’s career.

    I will be sad to let go of “Bionic Woman” because I have a glimmer of hope that it could fill the void in my heart that’s been there since “Alias” went off the air. No one will ever rock some hot pink hair like Sydney Bristow, but I feel like television is ready for another female that can kick some boo-tay.

    This brings us to Thursday night.

    Oh, Thursday nights. You have always been my night of must-see T.V. and you don’t disappoint. Once again, the DVR will be going at full steam. I’ll record “Ugly Betty” and “Grey’s Anatomy” to watch at a later time, while P and I will watch “My Name is Earl” and “The Office”.

    Best of all, the first four episodes of “The Office” will each be an hour long.

    God is good, my friends.

    Last, but certainly not least, is “Friday Night Lights”. I think my love, bordering on obsession, for “Friday Night Lights” has been well-documented at this point. If I had to pick only one show to watch (and I think this post proves how hard that would be) I would choose “Friday Night Lights”.

    Seriously.

    Like I tell P every week, it’s the best show on television.

    And that’s saying something because you have to work hard to be better than a cheesy reality show starring a bar owner who will date girls named Sheena and McCarten. ($50.00 says they made those names up to be memorable, which is a far better strategy than demonstrating your ability to be a human pretzel while on national television)

    So, tell me I’m not the only one who seriously thought about charting out the fall T.V. schedule. What shows do y’all have to watch? Any new shows you’ll be giving a try?

    And if you don’t watch T.V. and only read books, what’s that like?

    I used to read, but then I had a child and now I have the attention span of a gnat, but not as many brain cells.

    T.V. is my friend.

  • With any luck there will be a Mayflower truck in front of Coach Fran’s house tomorrow

    It’s halftime of the A&M “game”.

    I am self-medicating with Blue Bell ice cream and Hershey’s chocolate syrup.

    The second half may cause me to drink syrup straight from the bottle.

    There’s really nothing like watching your team get humiliated on national television.

    My favorite moment of the night was when the announcers wondered aloud why A&M was running a high school defense.

    Understandably, it filled me with pride and joy in our coaching staff.