Another day

The last week has found all of us at Casa de Big Mama homebound and stir crazy for days on end. By Wednesday, I was so desperate to get us out of the house that we kept a scheduled playdate with one of Caroline’s friends, in spite of the fact that I had to start my car thirty minutes before we left just to thaw the ice off of my windshield. I had reached a point of desperation and honestly, would have put us both in snow shoes for the one mile journey to our friend’s house just to get out. We were in dire need of a change of scenery.

After our playdate, Caroline had her first trip to the dentist, which went really well. All that guilt my pediatrician laid on me about Caroline having her paci until age two (actually she had it until she was three, but I started lying to the pediatrician around her two year appointment, but lying is such an ugly term so let’s just say I didn’t fully disclose) was completely unfounded. The dentist said that Caroline has great, healthy teeth and the best part is that she has great spacing which means that she may never have to endure the orthodontia hell that her Mama is currently undergoing.

The dentist said “Wow, she has really great spacing so you probably don’t have to worry about flossing her teeth” and I said, “Oh yes, that’s why we haven’t really flossed her teeth” while what I was thinking was “WHAT?! I’m supposed to floss her teeth?” I thought I was up for Mother of the Year because I manage to get them brushed at least once a day…most of the time. Don’t throw flossing at me, I’ll short circuit and our entire oral hygiene routine will go out the door. It’s just too much.

On Thursday Caroline was finally able to go back to school (is that Handel’s Messiah I hear in the background?) and I had tons of work that I needed to get caught up on after having a holiday on Monday and then two ice days. By Thursday afternoon, I was missing our leisurely days of doing nothing and we still had a birthday party (which I still have to tell y’all about, but it needs its own post) to attend that evening.

We were so tired after Thursday that we all slept in until 9:00 Friday morning. This may not sound like anything special to y’all, but it is the first time in the history of the free world that Caroline has slept even remotely late. I’m sure it’s not a trend, but it gives me hope for a brighter future filled with mornings that start a little later than 6:30.

So Friday morning after the sleeping late, P mentioned that he wanted to head down to the ranch for the day and asked Caroline if she wanted to go with him. God bless her little heart, she was so excited at the prospect of going to the ranch with her daddy that she immediately ran into her playroom and started packing her camo hunting bag (don’t all three year old girls have camo hunting bags?). She packed her toy gun, her binoculars and her magnifying glass. Here she is packing.

I watched her pack her little bag as she chattered excitedly about everything she was going to see and how she and Daddy were going to shoot some ducks, and I got a little teary eyed. I’m not sure what choked me up the most, the fact that my little girl loves her daddy so much and was so excited to spend time with him or that FINALLY the day that I have dreamed of lo these three years, has finally come and I get the house all to myself while the two of them go off to enjoy a day at the ranch.

It was a little piece of heaven here on earth…for all of us.

After the last twenty-four hours of living through the ARCTIC BLAST ’07, which so far has consisted of intermittent cold rain, I now realize why God made me a southern girl, other than the fact that I have a tendency to like big hair and good manners.

If I lived in the north and was cooped up all winter long, I wouldn’t just be a Big Mama, I would be an enormous two ton Mama. I cannot quit eating. It’s like I have turned into some sort of mammal that is stocking up before the hibernation.

I’m not sure how much is due to the cold weather and how much is due to the complete boredom of being stuck inside for over twenty-four hours, but either way I have got to stop the madness, especially in light of the fact that the really bad weather that they keep forecasting hasn’t even hit yet. At this rate, P and Caroline will be rolling Mama out to play in the snow on Tuesday.

Yesterday, I had two breakfast tacos, a chocolate chip cookie, peanut butter crackers, two diet cokes, more chocolate chip cookies both in dough and cookie form, and a bag of Sour Patch Kids.

I’m planning out my dinner menu for the next three days and the common ingredients are butter, cream of whatever soup, cheese, and more butter. It is like I’ve turned into Paula Deen, but with better hair.

The stir craziness has also led me to completely clean out the playroom. I dug deep and packed up toys that haven’t been played with in over a year and wouldn’t you know that those are the toys that Caroline spent all morning trying to find. It’s like she has some kind of radar. Would it be wrong to tell her they died and went to toy heaven?

I also cleaned out her closet. In the top of her closet, I keep a small, plastic crate that serves as a home for a few college/newlywed/pre-child mementos. There are cards from my grandparents, notes my dad wrote me in college letting me know he was working hard to keep me in the style to which I’d become accustomed, and tons of photos.

There are a few of Gulley and me with hair so big that I can’t believe we both fit in the picture. Seriously, someone should have told us to step away from the teasing comb and the hairspray. Of course, I can blame some of our big hair woes on our roommate Meredith who shared with us her secret for great hair which was, “You’ve just got to tease the sh*t out of it”. We listened. We listened well.

Anyway, as I was looking at the pictures, I came across a framed photo that was taken right after P and I started dating. Seeing as how that was twelve years ago, we look a little different. P weighed 155 the day we got married and he’s 6 feet tall, so you might say he was a little on the thin side. Over the course of the years, he has filled in a little. He still looks good, just a little meatier than he used to be back in his bachelor days.

I showed Caroline the picture and asked her if she knew who it was. She didn’t, so I told her it was Mama and Daddy. She said “Oh, look at Daddy! He looks brand new!”

Yes sweetie, that’s when Daddy was brand new, before Mama wore him down and showed him how to hibernate and consume mass quantities of cream based soups and chocolate products.

I was talking to Gulley on the phone earlier this week and was describing the odd outfit that Dee (my friend from work) had on that day. Considering that we work in a pretty conservative field, Dee tends to dress a little flamboyantly and often puts together an odd assortment of accessories. I personally, wouldn’t even know where to find brown fishnet hose.

I explained to Gulley, “She had on black tights with some kind of little socks with a granny type lace up boot. Then, she had on a pretty, gray skirt with a nice, black sweater and had topped the whole thing with a polarfleece vest. You know like a polarfleece vest I’d wear to go running.”

Gulley interrupted me and asked, “Have you started running?”

And I said, “No…but if I were to start, I would wear a vest like the one Dee had on today.”

Yesterday, Caroline and I headed to the grocery store. A trip to the store was not in my original plan, but due to the fact that Caroline has acquired another case of intestinal distress, I needed to get some bananas. We had everything else we needed for the BRAT diet and since it is, in fact, the BRAT diet and not the RAT diet, I felt we had to have the bananas in an attempt to make the foulness stop.

Please make the foulness stop.

I made the executive decision to head to the gourmet grocery store instead of our normal HEB. The main reason for this decision is they have chocolate chip cookies in their bakery that are almost as good as homemade, and Mama needed herself a cookie or six.

Anyway, while we were there, I decided we might as well load up on other things we might need in light of the fact that we are supposed to get a wintry mix of weather on Monday and Tuesday.

Y’all haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a wintry mix here in South Texas. The meteorologists will be on ALL DAY with important updates about the VERY COLD RAIN that is falling and tell you that although the temperature is currently 40 degrees, it could plummet to 32 degrees in a heartbeat so DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME. Everyone knows there is nothing more dangerous than driving on very cold wet roads. All the graphic designers at the various networks will be competing to see who can come up with the best winter catchphrase and graphic. It will be an all day event called BIG CHILL ’07 or FROSTY FREEZE ’07. It ought to be called “IT’S ONLY COLD RAIN SO YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SHUT THE CITY DOWN”.

I realize that I have wandered off on a tangent.

So we’re in the grocery store and I decide to get the ingredients to make crawfish etouffee since it’s one of my favorite things to eat on a cold night. Since I don’t shop here all the time and they have a huge produce section, I was wondering aloud where the green bell peppers were, when Caroline pointed right to them and yelled “Land HO!”.

She cracks me up.

I secured a few peppers for us and then headed to the seafood department to buy my frozen crawfish tails. They didn’t have any in the freezer case, so I asked the butcher if he had any in the back. He went to look and sure enough, he had two pounds. Perfect! I’ll take them.

Until he told me they were $24.99 a pound.

I know my mouth dropped open. I looked at him and maybe half shrieked, “$24.99 a pound?” and he said in a very authoritative voice, “Yes, but it’s because they’re from Louisiana.”

Oh, well that makes complete sense seeing as how Louisiana is a whole six hour drive away and covered in crawfish.

What I wanted to tell this poor man, who really has no control over what he is being forced to charge for the bastard of the seafood world, is that I spent a good part of my life in Beaumont, Texas, which is twenty minutes from the Louisiana border, and after a good rain we had crawfish milling around our backyard. Crawfish are not rare, they’re not a delicacy, and they’re not flown in from New Zealand, therefore, there is no way on God’s green earth that I’m paying $24.99 a pound for them.

That would be over $50.00 after tax and that kind of money would be much better spent buying a sweater at Banana Republic.

Needless to say, I left the store with everything I needed to make my crawfish etouffee except for you know…crawfish.

All was not lost though, because while I was there I stocked up on other essential items we will need in case the cold rain keeps us homebound. Sour Patch Kids, Assorted Jelly Bellies, brownie mix, a 12 pack of Corona Light and two bottles of wine.

If that doesn’t get us through, I don’t know what will.

As y’all have probably figured out by now, I am home from Dallas. The trip left me slightly tired seeing as how I got about 3 hours of sleep total during my visit. I have never been able to sleep well in hotels largely due to the fact that I am compulsive combined with the fact that hotels don’t have fitted bottom sheets. It drives me out of my mind to have that rumpled, wrinkled non-fitted mess under me while I try to sleep. I am a modern day version of the princess and the pea.

So, next time I’m in Dallas I’m inviting myself to stay with one of you Dallas folks. Don’t you want me as a houseguest now that you know I am a compulsive insomniac who requires perfect sleeping conditions?

Anyway, as the incredibly creative title implies, here’s a little of this and a little of that.

1. Caroline was excited to see me when she and P picked me up at the airport. She had grown about three inches while I was gone and I promise her hair hadn’t seen a brush since my departure. I had told her that I would bring her a treat when I came home and she was really excited and said “Oh Mama, will it be gum?”

And because I am nothing if not an overachiever, I brought home not only a whole roll of Rain-blo bubble gum but also some candy wax lips. She took them to school today for show and tell because as luck would have it, the letter of the week was “L”.

2. I love Christmas music. I do my best to devote the entire month to the listening of Christmas carols. This year is like a dream come true because I downloaded James Taylor’s Christmas CD from iTunes. I do love some JT and this CD is on constant rotation in my car and in my house. I highly recommend it.

And by JT I meant James Taylor not Justin Timberlake, although I do love him too and spent a good part of my pregnancy listening to “Rock Your Body” because it never failed to make Caroline start kicking and moving around. Even in utero the girl had taste and rhythm.

3. P went shopping at Whole Earth Provision and bought some socks that will keep even the coldest feet toasty warm. I know this to be true because they have been keeping my feet warm all afternoon. Someone told me one time that if anyone tried to determine if I was still alive by seeing if I had any warmth in my hands or feet, I would be buried alive. It’s true.

Anyway, tonight as we’re on the couch, P notices that I have borrowed a pair of his socks and decides to get in a custody battle over them. Why, I ask why would he begrudge the mother of his child warm feet? I told him that I hadn’t put the socks on until after I showered so technically they are clean and he can still wear them hunting tomorrow. He didn’t really like that idea, but I’m thinking anyone who doesn’t mind using my toothbrush (don’t even get me started on this topic) shouldn’t mind wearing socks that have had my feet in them.

4. Last week Caroline didn’t want to go to dance class and told me she didn’t feel well. So I went through my usual routine of asking what hurt, and then in the real test to see if she was faking asked “Are you too sick to go play at Jackson’s house?” and she told me that yes, she felt too bad to even go to Jackson’s. So, I decided that she could skip dance seeing as how it’s not like she has the lead in the Nutcracker this year and no sooner had I informed her of my decision when she said “Mama! Good News!! I feel good enough to go play with Jackson!”.

And the answer to the question is yes, she is smarter than me.

5. Lastly, I wanted to mention Boomama’s upcoming holiday tour of homes in case some of y’all haven’t heard. It will be on December 15 which is one week from today. So deck those halls, take some pictures and go put your link over at Boomama’s.

Hope y’all have a great weekend!