Another day

I have been sitting here for the last two hours looking at a blank screen as if staring at the screen is going to make words magically appear. For the life of me I can’t come up with anything to say. It’s not so much that I don’t have anything to say, it’s just the stringing together of all the words in a semi-coherent fashion that is leaving me baffled.

Apparently, I used too much brain power earlier at Starbucks deciding between the Peppermint Mocha or the Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate.

I went with the Peppermint Mocha. Sadly, it was 4:00 p.m. so I will regret that caffeinated decision for the better part of the wee morning hours, but in the meantime I am very peppy for 9:54 p.m.

And, on a side note, how old am I that I have to monitor my late afternoon caffeine intake? Kids, Ma-maw can’t have an afternoon coffee or she’ll be up with her rheumatism all night.

Not to mention the fact that I talked to A.J. earlier on the phone and directed her to the Boden site so she could join me in drooling over the Fab Day Bag that is currently on sale. I wanted her to buy it because she is single and in her twenties and doesn’t have to spend her hard-earned money on things like Barbie Diamond Castle Carriages.

Not only did she point out that it’s “kind of a mom bag”, she and her roommate C. also crushed my hopes and dreams by pointing out that the coveted Dalmation print version isn’t on sale. Apparently, Ma-maw can’t read the fine print.

As for the “mom bag” comment, I’m just going to say that someone who still carries their college backpack for business travel may not want to throw handbag stones.

I also have some other things I’d like to share and will now resort to a list.

1. I built a fire in the fireplace by myself. A real fire with real logs. By myself.

Granted, I used an HEB firestarter brick and a large container of lighter fluid to get this bad boy going and nearly forgot to take down our Christmas stockings, but, still, I made fire.

I have never felt more like Ma Ingalls. Well, if Ma Ingalls used lighter fluid and ate storebought iced sugar cookies by the fire.

2. For Caroline’s birthday this year, my sister-in-law bought her a Ladybug Farm. However, due to weather conditions in the midwest or some such nonsense, we didn’t receive our ladybug larvae (ewww) until about a month ago. I have followed all the directions on the care and maintenance of ladybugs to the best of my ability.

Yes, we have managed to hatch one ladybug and I found two more in the backyard that have become prisoners of the plastic dome. But by all appearances, the only thing we’re growing in abundance is mold.

Is this normal? Or am I unknowingly creating some sort of biological weapon?

3. By the time y’all read this I’ll be on my way to Houston for the night. I’m going to Converge to see CeCe Winans, Travis Cottrell and Beth Moore. I think my excitement is part of the reason I’m having a hard time forming coherent paragraphs.

4. How much do I love that Texas Representative Joe Barton is introducing legislation to end the BCS system in college football?

The economy is in the toilet and automakers want billions of dollars in loans, but let’s make sure we get this whole NCAA football thing figured out.

Don’t mess with Texas.

5. Don’t forget that this Monday, the 15th, is Boomama’s Christmas tour of homes. So finish decking your halls and take some photos.

6. Also, I’ve gotten some great entries for the Ugly Sweater Contest. Keep ’em coming and I’ll announce the winners on Friday the 19th.

I’ll also announce the first runner-up because if for any reason the winner of the Ugly Sweater Contest can’t fulfill its duties, the title will pass to the first runner-up.

Y’all have a great day.

I feel that I owe an apology to the fine Genius staff at my local Apple store because they called me at 5:30 on Monday evening to let me know my computer was ready. Sadly, I wasn’t able to retrieve the computer that night and instead spent the evening playing board games and reading fine literature whilst I knitted an afghan.

Actually, that’s not quite true. I ate dinner with P, read “Style: A to Zoe” by Rachel Zoe, and then went to bed at the unprecedented hour of 10:00 p.m. after remembering for the 874th time that I couldn’t check email. Apparently, I have what some might call an addiction to the computer.

On the upside, I have never been more rested.

I was waiting outside the Apple store at 10:00 a.m. yesterday morning to retrieve my dear friend. The Genius handed it over to me and asked if I wanted to take a look because it was “GORGEOUS”, which seemed like excessive flattery for a computer until I opened the case and saw it for myself.

IT IS GORGEOUS.

Completely crack-free. And here is where I want to make a joke about the war on drugs but will refrain in the interest of good taste.

There was one scary moment when they handed me a bill for $254.00 for the keyboard replacement and I was all “Umm? I thought it was covered by the warranty. And if it’s not covered then we need to go find my old keyboard TOOT SUITE or I will have to explain to my child why all Santa brought this Christmas was a new keyboard for Mommy.”

They explained that it was completely free of charge, but they print out the bill for accounting purposes and to see if they can give women who mock the Geniuses on their blogs a myocardial infarction.

I rushed home with computer in hand and immediately began to catch up on very important things like Twitter and searching for the best price on an Elf On the Shelf. But all those things were merely a procrastination device compared to the real issue at hand.

Christmas cards.

I have spent countless hours of my life that I will never get back perusing my Christmas card options. It’s bordering on obsessive.

Who am I kidding? It is totally obsessive.

My dear friend AJ came over to take pictures of Caroline the day before Thanksgiving. And let me explain that AJ had just had foot surgery days before and was in a big, black boot. But since I have no shame, I let her hobble around and take photos of my child.

She emailed me a link to the photos a few days later and I’m sure thought her job was done, especially because her compensation basically involves free M&M’s, Sour Patch Kids, and advice about life which may or may not be helpful or wanted.

But, oh no. No way am I that low maintenance.

“Can I see #12 in black and white? How about #14 if we crop out the table? Do you like 5, 10, 16, 20, 26, or 31 the best? How about in black and white? Am I being a pain? Did I mention all the free M&M’s? Oh, and how’s your foot feeling after the major surgery that involved sawing off 4 millimeters of your toe?”

The good news is I finally have it narrowed down to two pictures. However, I can’t commit to a card design or the wording I want and have I mentioned this is a lot of obsessing and worrying over a piece of paper that folks will look at for 2.8 seconds and then shove in a basket?

I believe I’ve done lost my reason for the season perspective.

Yesterday afternoon, I forced P into my web of madness and he was more than helpful with his “I don’t know. I think it’s six one, half dozen the other” before he stabbed his eyeballs out with a fork. Clearly he doesn’t realize this is our chance to make an impact for 2.8 seconds of someone’s life.

He actually suggested that I put my options up so that y’all could help me decide, which is a clever trick known as passing the buck. However, the majority of people I send cards to happen to read the blog, so at that point I might as well scrap the whole thing, save myself the postage, and just post the card here.

Which, if I don’t hurry up and make a decision, may end up being my only option.

Merry Christmas from the Heartless, Impersonal Age of Technology.

It has a nice ring to it.

One final note. I attempted to title this post “Reunited and it feels so good”, but the memory feature in WordPress let me know that I have already used that title at some point. Obviously, I can’t underestimate the effect Peaches ‘N Herb had on my childhood.

Late Sunday night I made an online appointment to go to the Genius Bar at the Apple store because my keyboard had begun to crack along the bottom. Honestly, I thought it was something I had done but then, while I was in the Dominican, my roommate Keely informed me that her Mac did the same thing and they replaced it for her free of charge.

So I lovingly cleaned my Macbook so it would look presentable for the Geniuses and brought it into the store at approximately 10:30 a.m. while wearing an outfit that would hopefully make me look smart.

The good news is they were more than happy to replace my keyboard. The bad news is it will be 48 hours before I get my Macbook back.

Here’s where I have to ask why it takes a group of self-proclaimed Geniuses two days to undo some screws and attach a new keyboard.

And I mean that in the most loving, supportive way possible.

The problem is that our PC crashed last month and the Macbook is the only computer we own. I’m not sure what happened to the PC, but it probably has something to do with the fact that we never updated any of the software and continued to use it even when the fan quit working and alarms went off to let us know it was VERY HOT. EXTREMELY HOT.

But, really, what’s so important about a fire hazard when you need to check email?

I sweetly explained to my Genius that I “write some stuff on the computer” and it will be “really difficult” for me to be without a computer for 48 hours and if they could get it done any sooner (LIKE TODAY!) that would be so great and I would sing the praises of Apple forever.

Basically I went with the theory that you catch more flies with honey, but if they don’t have my Macbook up and ready to go in two days I will then have to attempt to catch flies with a tantrum and threats of a panic attack right in the midst of all the sleek Apple paraphernalia.

Oh, and the only reason I’m able to tell y’all this is because I have taken my sad, computer-addicted self over to Gulley’s to borrow her computer.

This may even inspire me to put pen to paper and do some old-fashioned journaling. But probably not.

It’s more likely that I will just continue to twitch until my Genius calls to let me know my computer is ready.

So we had a big Thanksgiving weekend around here and I’m not just talking about my new jeans size. Although I could be, considering I managed to finish off the last of the leftover dressing and broccoli rice casserole without much, if any, assistance.

What can I say? Starch = YUM

You can’t fight culinary science.

On Thursday, we went to Mimi and Bop’s house for Thanksgiving lunch where we ate until we were stuffed. And then had dessert.

This picture was taken before all the eating because I had no desire to repeat Thanksgiving ’05 when Caroline sat on my lap and declared “My mouth feels funny!” right before she lost her lunch all over me.

Boy, was that good times.

After lunch we went outside to play some made-up version of basketball/dodgeball/hot potato. It doesn’t really matter what you call it as long as you know that Caroline is free to change the rules at any given time and you have to stand exactly where she tells you to.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.

And that I was high on ice box pudding.

We finally headed home and Caroline declared it “The BEST Thanksgiving EVER!”

And it was.

Until I started watching the football game that night.

If you’re not sure what game I’m talking about then you must be new here. Welcome. I hope you’ll stay.

The Aggies.

I haven’t talked about them much this year because, let’s be honest, there just isn’t much to say. Actually, there’s a lot to say but I try to keep it family-friendly around here.

Before the game, I thought I had managed my expectations. I mean, we lost to Baylor (Seriously? Baylor?) by 21 points. That’s THREE touchdowns for those of you keeping score at home.

And when you lose to Baylor, you really can’t expect that you’re going to hang with the #2 team in the nation. (#3 now, suckers) I knew this in my head, but I couldn’t accept it in my heart.

So I watched the game filled with hope. Hope that lasted until I realized that we had exactly -1 yard of offense, which doesn’t really equate to winning football games.

P sat quietly in support next to me while I watched because I believe he could sense my internal sadness. Or maybe it’s that he could hear me sobbing as I curled up in the fetal position and yelled that I liked Jesse Palmer better when he was on “The Bachelor”.

Whatever.

I’m over it.

The good news is that, with the exception of Mike Sherman’s Unfortunate Series of Events, we had a great holiday weekend filled with plenty of friends, family and food.

Of course the part about the food is debatable. I’ll let you know how much I loved all that pudding when I hit the elliptical machine on Tuesday morning (Why start today?) because I promise on a stack of starches and non-complex carbohydrates that I am resuming my workout program this week.

Although can you say “resuming” if it’s been longer than eight weeks?

Let’s just say yes.

For those of y’all who are interested (all three of you!), I thought I’d let you know that I did not venture out this morning for Black Friday shopping. I decided to go with my original thought which is there isn’t enough money to be saved or sedatives to be taken to make me want to get out in the crowds on a Friday morning.

Plus, you know the new Target is now seven minutes and one extra stoplight away instead of five and I just don’t have that kind of time.

And Walmart is too much for my delicate sensibilities on a normal day that doesn’t involve professional shoppers looking for great deals on flat screen T.V.’s. and a Barbie Hot Tub Party Bus.

So, I’m just sitting here eating leftover chocolate ice box pudding, the way God and the pilgrims intended.

However, there are a few things I need to share because they are too good to keep to myself.

1. From now until Monday, December 1st you can make personalized Christmas cards at Studio Dayspring. They have really cute designs and, best of all, if you enter the code Staff50 at checkout you can get 50% off your order of 50 or more cards.

2. CWDKids is doing a fun 12 Days of Giveaways on their Kidbits blog starting Monday, December 1st.

They’ll be giving away gift certificates, products, and charitable donations. The first day, they will ask blog readers to tell them what charity is important to them and why. They’ll pick one winner and donate $250 to their charity.

The winners for the 12 days of prizes will be announced on December 25.

3. Don’t forget that if you want to participate in the Dear Army Family project, you need to get your cards in the mail today.

I wish I had two more things so I could have a list of five, but Caroline is threatening to run away if she can’t get on the computer and play various games on Nick Jr.

It’s a lot of drama.

Yesterday we left Beaumont around 11:00 a.m. and began the long, arduous journey home. We only survived thanks to the new, improved pink headphones we purchased at Target that kept the back seat campers happy and a blizzard from Dairy Queen complete with extra Reeses’ Peanut Butter Cups that I used to self-medicate.

Caroline was terribly sad that it was time to return home and declared it “the saddest day ever”, but she’s also been known to say the same thing when I refuse to let her get a gumball out of the gumball machine at HEB. She likes to manufacture drama, which makes me look forward to the teen years with great anticipation.

Anyway, now that we’re home it’s time to begin all my Thanksgiving preparations, which basically means I need to make chocolate ice box pudding.

The bad news is I still have to make a trip to HEB to buy the ingredients. I knew I should have gone to the store last week, but I was way too busy getting caught up on “Top Chef” and reading Tori Spelling’s autobiography “sTori Telling” (oh, so clever!) to be bothered with being prepared for a meal that was still a week away.

And tomorrow I will have to pay the whipped cream piper.

I don’t really know what that means, but it isn’t good.

The key ingredient that I’m missing at this point is ladyfingers, in spite of the fact that my sister-in-law emailed me about three weeks ago to ensure I had made the ladyfinger acquisition since HEB tends to run out of them. But, oh no, I threw pastry caution to the wind and now I’ll just have to hope for the best.

Or hope that chocolate ice box pudding tastes okay when served in a bowl lined with hot dog buns, which lack the sweetness of ladyfingers but are similar in shape.

Needless to say, a trip to HEB two days before Thanksgiving may just be the saddest day ever.

The other pressing issue that is keeping me awake at night is Black Friday.

(Keeping me awake may be an overstatement)

I have NEVER in my life shopped on the Friday after Thanksgiving for two reasons.

1. There is no way I’d save an amount of money large enough to make fighting the crowds and getting up at 4 a.m. worth it.

2. I have an impulse shopping problem. If I were to find myself in a store surrounded by deeply discounted Crockpots, I might end up buying two or eight of them in spite of the fact that I don’t know anyone who needs a Crockpot.

However, Target is taunting me with their online sale flyer. Board games for $4.00! That’s just MADNESS! Especially since it’s hard to put a price on an afternoon of good, clean fun with Hi-Ho Cherry-O.

But then I realize I might be eaten alive if I venture out among women who carry blueprints of the store and wear track shoes to ensure maximum bargain coverage.

I may also come home with eight Crockpots.

And then it really would be the saddest day ever.

So, who shops on Black Friday? Is it worth it? Am I missing out or should I stick to my original plan to stay home and eat the chocolate ice box pudding leftovers with a side of hotdog bun?