Year: 2012

Sadly, I think I’m experiencing a bit of an Olympic hangover. Too many nights of staying up late combined with getting up too early has taken its toll on me. I’ve lost my Olympic fervor.

Or maybe it was just the synchronized mens’ diving that pushed me over the edge.

Don’t get me wrong, I realize they have worked very hard to perfect their skills and I couldn’t even synchronize doing a somersault on the living room floor with someone. But I don’t find it compelling T.V.

A friend of mine texted last night to get P’s thoughts on that event and so I asked him. His reply was that he was having a good cry and didn’t want to be bothered. He was either being sarcastic or was totally moved by the skill and artistry.

I’d go with the first option.

But I was excited to see Missy May and Keri win their match. And apparently I’ve lost some sense of boundaries since I’m calling them by their first names like we were college roommates or something.

And my heart broke for poor Orozco. I wanted him to do well and I feel so bad for any athlete that’s trained so hard and then doesn’t turn in their best performance at the most important time. I can’t even imagine.

Of course I loved the swimming. Caroline has even decided that she might want to be an Olympic swimmer. But then I asked, “So that means you want to do swim team again next summer?”

And she looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I don’t think so.”

Which makes me think her road to the Olympics is going to be long. Possibly never-ending.

Well I have just watched four hours of the Olympics.

The Fab Five won the gold medal. Michael Phelps won his nineteenth medal to become the most decorated Olympian of all time. I sat on the couch and ate cookies.

Yet my adrenaline levels are off the charts. I have cheered. I have cried. I have lamented the day I quit gymnastics at age eight because I might have been an Olympian if I had just mastered walking across the gym floor without tripping.

I’m not sure how I’m ever going to settle down and go to sleep. So instead I’m watching Sweet Home Alabama for the 842nd time on the Oxygen channel.

It’s hard to pick a highlight of the night so I think I’m just going to give a quick rundown.

(Yes. Apparently this has become a blog solely devoted to Olympic coverage this week.)

(But only for those of you who aren’t looking for hard-hitting journalistic insights.)

1. The Russian female gymnasts love them some glitter. I’m not sure how you say “There is no such thing as too much glitter” in Russian, but I bet their coaches do.

2. I find it interesting that it’s 2012 and we haven’t found a better way to hold back hair than those plastic, bendy Goody barrettes that I wore in a series of unfortunate school photos from 1976-1982.

Do better, hair accessory industry.

3. Words can’t express how thrilled I was for Jordyn Weiber. She proved to have the heart of a champion when she bounced back from her disappointment on Sunday and helped lead her team to gold.

Her smile after she finished that first tumbling pass on the floor exercise was priceless.

4. I needed more of Aly Raisman’s parents.

5. Thank goodness Michael Phelps won two more medals and broke the record. I was afraid Andrea the poolside commentator was going to take him out back and shoot him if he failed.

She clearly graduated from the Journalism School of No Mercy and Bad Questions.

6. Caroline decided halfway through the balance beam routines that she needed to practice her gymnastics. Even though she quit gymnastics two years ago.

And then she spent the next hour twirling and jumping around our living room while intermittently stopping to stretch. I think Bela Karolyi would be impressed.

7. Without question the overstatement of the night goes to the gymnastics commentator who declared a mistake by one of the Russian gymnasts during the floor exercise to be “ABSOLUTELY CATASTROPHIC”.

I’d like to buy him a dictionary. And some perspective.

Your house falling in around you equals CATASTROPHIC. Failing to land a cartwheel? Disappointing, yes. ABSOLUTELY CATASTROPHIC? I think not.

8. Loved seeing the mens’ relay team win the gold. Not only did it help Phelps achieve his goal, but I think it gave Lochte a little bit of confidence back.

9. I did a back dive off the diving board at the pool today.

No. That technically has nothing to do with the Olympics.

But it was the closest I came to any sort of athletic endeavor and I wanted you to know. It helped offset the guilt I felt about eating the chocolate chip cookies. I’m almost forty-one and I can still do a back dive.

Which reminds me that I need to take three or six Advil before bed.

10. Is it just me or would anyone else really like a pair of those green tennis shoes that the Fab Five had on during the medal ceremony?

And did you watch their interview with Bob Costas at the end where they all said the earliest Olympics they remembered was 2004?

Wow.

I’m old.

Well, apparently the Olympic Committee had nothing better to do than to block the video of Aly’s parents that I put up yesterday. And between that and somebody getting booted off Twitter for bashing NBC’s coverage, I feel like I better mind my Olympic manners or I’ll find myself being questioned by some angry French guy in a small, dimly lit room.

Why a French guy?

I don’t know. It just seems like the way it would all happen.

But I do have to share the picture my friend Carol sent me yesterday.

Yes, that’s exactly the point I was trying to make.

Normally this is where I’d write a few paragraphs about what we did this weekend. However, I can sum it up in a sentence.

We watched the Olympics.

Thank you and good night.

Just kidding. When have I ever been that succinct?

But since I’m guessing none of you really care to hear about how I finally resorted to taking a Zyrtec on Thursday night and thus spent Friday in a near comatose state, I thought it might be fun (for me at least) to recap my favorite Olympic moments so far.

(On a kind of related note (but not really) it’s ironic to me that I spent years selling Zyrtec to doctors and claiming that it doesn’t cause sedation when it flat knocks me out for days. But I’m one of those people who will always deal with possible side effects no matter how small the actual percentage. I believe this is largely due to the fact that I always read the complete list of side effects and then my brain calls them into being.)

Anyway, here are my top ten Olympic moments so far:

1. Queen Elizabeth parachuting out of the helicopter with James Bond.

2. Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer continually pronouncing that the Queen was having a great time and had a wicked sense of humor while she remained stone-faced throughout the entire proceedings.

3. The part of the opening ceremonies where they re-enacted the Industrial Revolution.

(Not really because SNOOZE.)

4. Paul McCartney looking for all the world like the Dowager Countess of Grantham as he sang “Hey Jude”.

5. Ryan Lochte winning the 400 IM. It was a great moment and I wish NBC would quit focusing on what Phelps doesn’t do and what others have achieved.

Get a new story, NBC.

6. Watching Ryan Secrest’s hair get progressively higher with each interview. Maybe London weather is conducive to good hair?

It would certainly explain my girl Kate Middleton.

7. Gabby Douglas. I could put her in my pocket.

Seriously. I think she’d fit in my pocket.

But she is darling. And love that she said she meditates on scripture before she competes.

8. Any time they interview Bela Karolyi. I’m not kidding.

I don’t understand half of what he says and he frightens me, but he makes me want to be a better gymnast.

Which is impressive considering I can’t even do a cartwheel and my abs are possibly made of Pinot Grigio.

9. Staying up late with Caroline and listening to all her reactions on everything. Her little heart was broken for Jordan Wieber last night. And NBC didn’t help matters by interviewing Aly while Jordan cried in the background. Have some decency, people.

Caroline asked me to compose an angry tweet to express that the Olympics were dead to her at that moment. Mama’s little baby has embraced the power of social media.

They grow up so fast.

10. Lastly, I realize there were many athletes who accomplished amazing things, but this moment was really the highlight for me.

And made me glad that no one has ever videotaped my reactions during one of Caroline’s soccer games because crazy recognizes crazy.

What about y’all? Any favorite moments?