Last Tuesday Gulley and I met for our usual Tuesday lunch and our friend, Donna, joined us. We spent the next hour catching up on life and talking about other important things like hair and jewelry and cute sandals.
At some point in the conversation we started talking about Donna’s oldest daughter, Avery, who had just found out she’d gotten a really great summer internship. Donna started laughing and told us that Avery had sent her a text where she’d copied a text that she’d received from her Pop, Donna’s father.
(Are you following this? I feel like it’s confusing but I’m doing the best I can.)
(Here’s the easy version. Avery got a job. She received a congratulatory text from Pop, her grandfather. She copied the text and forwarded it to Donna because it was funny.)
(Why didn’t I just say that in the first place?)
Anyway, the text wasn’t meant to be funny. The problem, Donna explained, is that Pop sends all his text messages using Siri. And I think we all know how I feel about Siri.
She’s unreliable and has no understanding of the nuances of the Southern accent.
So instead of sending his granddaughter a sweet, heartfelt message, Pop’s text instead said something along the lines of “That’s great about those mumbo jumbo hookers”.
Which isn’t really a phrase you expect to hear from your grandfather.
And it confirmed that Siri is just as worthless as she was the last time I attempted to use her when she translated my request as this:
Yes. Please set a reminder so I can remember to “pet Caroline down for a hair”. Siri, are you drunk?
And because Gulley and I have the sense of humor of two twelve-year-old boys, we decided it would be hilarious to just use Siri as our primary means of communication with each other and see what happened. But first I sent a text using Siri to Donna since she was our inspiration.
I don’t know who Donna Hutton is. And I certainly don’t know Gladine. Apparently, Siri thinks I have an alter ego who’s an eighty-four year old woman from Mississippi.
Later that day, Gulley and I began to send texts back and forth.
For the record, I was not satisfied that we couldn’t go to lunch at Alamo Cafe. I was sad. And I didn’t really need any data. And hopefully it all worked out and I was satisfactory, not Beyer.
The only part of this that is remotely accurate is that I was driving to San Marcos. I don’t know Stephanie Alamatos, Michelle, or Routhier.
I’m sure Sister Garret Allyn is a lovely person. Can’t wait to see her at half right-leaning Steve. Even though it’s a shame Steve only leans half right.
Then Gulley ate lunch with our friend, Stephanie, (not to be confused with the mythical Stephanie Alamatos) and Steph decided to join us in our juvenile behavior.
I think it goes with saying that Stephanie was not “Live in Atlanta”.
Finally, after several days of our fun at Siri’s expense, Gulley and I realized we needed to go back to normal texting. Mainly because we had no idea what each other was trying to say.
Gulley texted me later and was concerned that one of her eyes was swollen and sent me a picture of herself so that I could see if she was imagining it.
(By the way, I’m absolutely sure this is exactly how Steve Jobs envisioned his technology being used. God rest his soul.)
So I looked at the picture and assured her the eye situation was in her imagination. And then we had the following text exchange. I think it will be obvious that I decided to revert back to Siri in my last text back to Gulley.
I have always, ALWAYS, believed that Bajando know how to capture Sarah Fossett.
Now if I just knew exactly what that meant.
Other than the fact that Siri and I have a failure to communicate.
Laural Out Loud
You made me laugh so hard I almost woke my kids up! And it would’ve been totally worth it even though it took me three hours tonight to get them to sleep. I can’t wait until I can get an iPhone JUST so I can do this to my friends.
Oh, my gosh, I am cracking up here in H-town. Not sure which is funnier, the actual texts or your interpretation of them. And I’m with you, Laurel, I got to get me one of them iPhones!
Living overseas in a country where few speak English, I feel like we must operate in Siri on a regular basis! Here’s a link to a very funny language mistake my husband recently encountered: http://mrsyellowhat.blogspot.com/2012/02/limited-vocabulary.html
If I’m not mistaken, Stephanie Alamatos and Routhier were characters on Days of Our Lives in the 90s. Don’t hold me to it, though. I’m not positive. 🙂
Just another reason why I love Boo Mama.
Giggled alllllll the way through this because you captured my frustration with Siri too. She doesn’t get a Michigan accent either.
yes, hilarious, and I don’t know anything about Siri. thinking it must be a voice activated something or other. I dont’ text either, and have a dumb phone. but I laughed out loud.
Hilarious! Siri is going to have to learn the dialect of various regions of the US. 🙂
Oh glorious Tuesday!!! CRACKING SLAP UP!!! NO, seriously–SLAP UP!!! CAN! NOT! STOP!!!!
Listen, although I’ve already explained that I’m trading in my Droid for the iPhone, the most exciting part of this upcoming event to me has been SIRI! Don’t think for one minute that’s changed since this post!! I welcome the hilarity in my life. Because the insanity around here isn’t hilarious enough? OH LORD HELP! IT IS! IT TRULY IS! I’ll be practicing my enunciation of commonly used words much. 😉
Thanks for the morning hilarity!!!
Hahaha! Clapping my hands and laughing so hard. What a great post! 🙂
Oh dear Lord – I am crying here laughing SO hard hahah! I must copy you and play the Siri text game now 🙂
My android phone has a talk-to-text feature that I use if I get a text while driving. And I just about died one day when I said a nice message to my friend and looked down and saw it just said “sausage”. I didn’t even mention sausage! I was crying I was laughing so hard and then ended up having to call my friend (with my headset on, of course, since I was driving) to explain what had happened.
Siri most definitely doesn’t understand Southern speak or redneck as I like to say when my husband tries to use Siri. She HATES HIM!!!
Krystle @ Color Transformed Family
I think Apple should use your texts for a commercial for the iPhone. This was so funny!
You are hilarious!!!! My daughter kept asking why I was laughing. It was way over her head, but thank you for the laughs! Still giggling. 🙂
Apparently my accent is so Southern that I can’t even get On-Star to dial a number for me. I cannot imagine what Siri would do to it. I laughed out loud at your comments though,.
I am CRYING!!! I had to get my composure back before I read each paragraph for fear I would wet my pants!!
The other day I told Siri to call the Pharmacy at Buckhead (a shopping center here) and she proceeded to tell me she couldn’t find, or call call “Butthead”.
Hilarious!! My new favorite word: bajando! Thanks Siri!
Laughing out loud again this morning at your blog… I can so relate. My friends love getting texts from me.. I have an earlier generation iphone, so sadly, no siri… but the things autocorrect can do to my texts are hilarious.. It is compounded when I text without glasses on and don’t see the corrected word popped up above in those TINY BLUE LETTERS and hit send before I read… I wish I had screen captured some of them for that autocorrect website…..
I am cackling at work, reading to my assistant. He is cackling too. Happy Monday!!
ugh! i realized it’s Tuesday and tried to correct but then the internet machine yelled at me for posting comments too quickly.
I wished my friend DD ” Hippy Bird day” Oh we laughed and laughed.. and wished it really was Hippy Bird day.
This post should come with a warning that it shouldn’t be read at work! I am crying from laughing so much, and I’m sure my coworkers think I have lost my mind. Now I have to go to the restroom and fix my makeup. Your post makes me want to upgrade my phone just so I can annoy my husband with weird Siri texts!
I am laughing so hard right now in my office cubeland and people are staring at me as if I was 14, in church, and laughing uncontrollably while trying to look like I’m not. Siri and I agreed to disagree on our communication interpretations. If I accidentally “call” Siri, I roll my eyes and turn her off. One time she said, “Why won’t you let me help you?” I had nothing to offer her. Nothing. Think she got the point?
Hysterical! I totally need someone to do this with so I can send crazy messages! Ha!
One of our favorite activities(kids and adults alike) is asking Siri random questions and seeing what she answers. My husband asks her out on dates and her responses are pretty hilarious. It’s great entertainment for those long road trips. If you are having a bad day, tell her how much you hate her and see what she says. You’ll be cheered up in no time.
I am seriously crying here. Thanks so much for a well needed laugh this morning! 😀
i laughed so much while reading this. don’t have a iphone have android phone but have a app like siri and it works or doesn’t work the same way. it takes so long to correct what it has interpreted incorrectly that you might as well use snail mail. A friend of mine had an accident on the way to work she texted her boss that she was stripping and waiting for the tow pig. She will never live that one down at work.
kathleen, that made me laugh out loud!! That poor woman! As if an accident wasn’t bad enough!
Oh, my goodness–that made me start up all over again! I had to call my husband at the office to read him “stripping and waiting for the tow pig” He had a lot of difficulty understanding what I was trying to say! 😉
I think Lady Gaga said it best: “Don’t call my name, don’t call my name, Bajando”
I absolutely love this!! My friend and I also do this, except she will let her 4 year old speak to Siri who sent me a message saying, “Pain my tiny. Thank him again spanish math games.” I am still laughing and my 13 year old’s favorite new saying is “pain my tiny.” Who knew smart phones could be so dumb??
So funny! I had to read this on my desktop because my iPhone displayed all the screen shots (of your iPhone!) as question marks. So ironic. Or meta. Maybe it was Suri’s doing.
Made my day! Thanks for sharing.
that was so funny!
Amanda @ Serenity Now
I like Siri because she says “your wish is my command.” I’ve always wanted someone to say that to me. Also AT&T kind of stinks with phone coverage and about 70% of my calls just won’t dial, period. So I tell Siri to call “so and so” and she dials it for me. For some reason, Siri is able to dial, but the phone won’t by itself. This is not a great selling point, in my opinion. But I pride myself on my love of apps, so I will be keeping it.
I just laughed until I cried. My 4 year old kept saying, “Why are you crying?? What is wrong with your eyes? Why are you wiping your eyes???”. Boy, I needed that.
this is stinkin’ hilarious…LOL!!! I don’t have the pleasure of having Siri on my phone, but I don’t think I really need her services…ha! Thanks for sharing..love your blog!
Your post just made me laugh out loud at work!
This is too funny! Love it!
I had to wait long enough for the uncontrolled shaking of my limbs to pass before I could type–
I no longer have a single, solitary bit of the lovely eye makeup on my eyes (it is streaming down my face) that I so painstakingly applied this morning. I laugh-cried every bit of it off! You are HILARIOUS! Thanks for making Tuesday a lot of fun!
I don’t have Siri, but I do have autocorrect. Not so long ago, my SIL had an MRI. I redress her to see how it went. I didn’t pay much attention to my phone…just typed my msg and sent.
Later, she txted back, “huh?”
Turns out, autocorrect thinks “Krishna” is an acceptable substitution for “MRI”
I texted her. Ugh. Strikes again.
mine changes my abbreviation of ”something” which I type as smthg… to “smutty”… that can make for an interesting convo..
Thank you for cracking me up. I’m obsessively watching the weather as DFW is under tornado threats. We’re okay, but this post was just what I needed to lighten up a bit.
Sheryl in WA
i am laughing so hard that my 4 yr old had to tell me to calm down. I wish I was using Siri to leave this comment! hah!!
That was absolutely hysterical. I’m in tears. And I’m trying hard to find a way to add the word Bajando to my vocabulary. You are a RIOT!
Sharon C in OK
It’s not just you…I told Siri to remind me to “mail the month end checks on Monday”. Monday morning she told me to “mail the Munchkins”. It was actually the bright spot in my Monday.
Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
I’m a faithful blog follower / stalker and rarely comment. However, this post is hilarious! Thanks for the laughter. My family has had many many fun times with Siri. Thanks for the laughs!
HA! I happen to LOVE Siri, but I’m from the no-accent mid-west! My husband and I “mess” with Siri all the time and ask her silly questions. I asked her the “How much wood can a woodchuck chuck..” question and she said, “42? That can’t be right.” But if you ask her too many silly questions in a row she gets mad and says, “Don’t you have anything better to do?”
So stinkin’ hilarious!! I can upgrade my phone in May, & I so want an iphone with Siri although I’ll bet she won’t understand anything that I say in my south Georgia accent!
I have had a REALLY ROUGH day with my kids. And that made me laugh…really hard. sitting on my couch completely drained. Oh that lightened my day and also helped me to decide against the I phone when I do my next upgrade. Thanks Bajanda!
This post has me laughing so hard. You all will have to do another one of these. I actually read the other day where some guy is suing apple because Suri doesn’t work the way he thought it was going to.
Your Siri posts CRACK ME UP! I completely understand and now have a strong desire to send my friends crazy Siri text messages for the next week. Ha!
I thought this was going to be a post on emoticons, but this was better than anything I could have imagined. I need a new iPhone just for the ridiculousness that is Siri.