• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Big Mama

the big mama blog

  • Home
  • Meet Melanie
  • Blog
  • Speaking
  • Books
    • *New* On The Bright Side
    • *New* Piper and Mabel
    • Church of the Small Things
    • Nobody’s Cuter Than You
    • The Antelope in the Living Room
    • Sparkly Green Earrings
  • Contact
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Melanie Podcast
You are here: Home / Seriously / In search of the light

In search of the light

December 17, 2012 ·

I’ve started this and deleted the first sentence about twenty-six times in the last thirty minutes. Because sometimes there just aren’t words. Or as Forrest Gump says, “Sometimes there aren’t enough rocks”. I don’t write about current events very much. Not because I don’t care, but because I usually want this to be a place where we can laugh and try to find the lighter side of life.

But right now that place seems hard to find.

If you had asked me on Friday morning what I was going to write about on Monday, I’d have told you it was going to be all about the last six days we’ve spent in New York with Mimi and Bops and my sister and her family. And there is so much to tell.

It was precious time spent with people I love. Getting to show Caroline the city of New York at Christmastime will go down as one of my favorite memories ever. Especially Friday morning when we went to visit Santa Claus at Macy’s on 34th Street. Watching her face light up as she told him what she wanted and Santa taking the extra time to discuss the Percy Jackson books she’s currently reading made it one of those magical moments I’ll remember always. It was one of those rare times when real life surprises you with so much joy.

And I guess that’s part of why I couldn’t stop the tears when we made it back to our hotel later that afternoon and I learned the full extent of what occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary. Because while I was watching Caroline and my niece, Sarah, experience the very best of childhood magic and wonder, there was a school of precious littles, just sixty miles away, experiencing horror beyond comprehension.

Honestly, I don’t even think I can let my mind fully go there or I may never be able to get out of bed again. It’s too much. Too much sadness, too much agony, too much hurt.

As a parent, I hear bad stories and tend to mentally list all the reasons that could never happen to Caroline. I pay attention. I don’t leave her at home alone. I don’t let her walk down the block without watching to make sure she arrives safely at her destination. I make sure I know everyone she comes in contact with in the course of a day.

But what happened Friday shatters any illusion we have of being in control. Those parents dropped their babies off for a day at school. A day that should have been filled with learning how to use verbs in a sentence or adding numbers or eating paste like every other elementary school kid. And the unfathomable happened.

And now there are Christmas presents that will sit unopened, and hearts that are forever broken, and lives that will always bear the scars of a cold Friday in December that was probably filled just hours earlier with weekend plans to look at Christmas lights and visit Santa and drink hot chocolate.

I don’t have any answers because I don’t think we’ll understand as long as we’re here on earth. But here’s what I do know.

I know that this is not our home. I know that there is a God in heaven who is good and faithful and true even when nothing makes sense. And I know that we live in a fallen world filled with sorrow and tragedy and madmen capable of terrible things.

I know that there is no better time than Christmas to remember that God sent his son into the world to save us all from darkness and sin and certain death. And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.

One of the parts of the Christmas story that’s often swept under the rug is the mass murder of innocent children at the hands of a crazed King Herod that caused Joseph and Mary to flee with Jesus to Egypt. There’s no way to make that look pretty. No way to dress that up as part of the manger scene with wise men and shepherds and maybe a cow for good measure.

Yet it’s there. In all its ugliness and darkness. But it’s easier to deal with because there is time and distance. It’s part of history. There aren’t pictures of those precious faces all over Facebook, but they, too, were babies whose lives were cut tragically short and left behind parents filled with unimaginable grief.

The truth is our world is filled with darkness and always has been. Satan comes to steal and kill and destroy. And what feels more destructive and violent than innocent lives, who embody the very tenderness of God, filled with so much light and promise and possibility with freckles across their sweet faces?

I know that we are called to be a light in a dark world. And, as much as something like this makes me want to wrap my whole family in protective bubble wrap and spend the rest of our days within the walls of our home, we are called to spread the love of Christ and share that there is hope and redemption and peace and purpose beyond what we can imagine right now. Jesus came in the form of a helpless baby, but he won’t come back that way.

He’ll come as a conqueror. And evil will be vanquished forever.

On the plane ride home, I heard the lyrics from “I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day” and they fell fresh on me.

And in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

That’s the very heart of what Christmas is all about.

Our hearts are broken for you, Newton, Connecticut. You are in prayers. And we weep for your babies.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012
« Previous article:

Start spreading the news

Next Post: »

The big apple

Reader Interactions

Similar Stories

Comments

  1. Laci

    December 17, 2012 at 12:45 am

    Thank you for sharing truth today. I needed a powerful reminder of God’s promise.

  2. Hannah

    December 17, 2012 at 1:08 am

    Beautifully written. Have you read Max Lucado’s prayer in response yet? Remembering Jesus in this fills us with such hope…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-lucado/a-christmas-prayer_2_b_2302548.html

  3. Joanna H.

    December 17, 2012 at 1:09 am

    Perfectly stated….thank you.

  4. Tara

    December 17, 2012 at 1:17 am

    I was teaching 5th grade during 9/11. I stayed glued to the television for hours, days, weeks after it happened & it emotionally gutted me. Since then, I haven’t been able to watch stuff like that. Most especially this. These kids were my child’s age and the women were doing my job. Hits WAY too close to home. I’ve had to read little bits on news sites to find out the truth. I’m still waiting to find out the motivation behind going to the school after he’d already taken care of his mother at her house. I expect we may wait years to find this out.

    I downloaded “Maybe This Christmas Tree” from Amazon last week. It has some interesting, sort of sad, melancholy versions of Christmas songs. “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” sung by Pedro the Lion is on there & is especially sad.

  5. Kelly

    December 17, 2012 at 1:35 am

    I have been an ostrich this weekend, refusing to turn on the tv because, like you said, if I let my mind go there I will just curl up in a fetal position. Both of my children are adults, married or getting ready to be, and school teachers. I have to tell you that this article deserves a pulitzer, or whatever the grand prize for writing is. I have never read anything that puts things in perspective, reminds us we aren’t here for anything other than growing His kingdom. Thank you.

    • Jean

      December 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

      I’m sharing this post as best as I technologically can. You’re a dear. A wise, funny dear.

    • pendy

      December 18, 2012 at 10:07 am

      Exactly.

  6. Kerry

    December 17, 2012 at 4:05 am

    Melanie, thank you thank you thank you. What you have said here, yes, i agree with Kelly, you are gifted with your words. Thank you for sharing and speaking that truth. I read your blog every day but rarely comment (because, um, you have no idea who I am), but AMEN AMEN AMEN. Your blog is a blessing to me for the laughs, but also for your integrity in terms of your beliefs…both resonate and honestly bless me every day. Thanks for being you and being out there and for saying all of this.

  7. Heather

    December 17, 2012 at 5:44 am

    So beautifully stated, especially pointing out how King Herod. I just read that part of the Christmas story to 3 and 4 year olds yesterday at church. There just are no answers, at least not any that are going to satisfy our souls. This is the reality of a fallen world. God knows how incredibly difficult this world would be and how hard it is to be us and to be here. The think that kept running through my mind this weekend was “how long, Lord, how long?” I long for heaven at times like these.

    My husband calls the majority of the ‘wisdom’ people write on Facebook at times like these “Facebook Theology” and it drives him batty. At times like these, there just are no words and trying to with a bunch of words that are nonsensical just seems to make it worse, and frankly, most people end up making God look like a petty score keeper. God knows this world is hard and how hard it is to be us.

    Thank you for well written words to this unthinkable tragedy.

  8. Colorado

    December 17, 2012 at 5:51 am

    Crying over those precious babies and feeling their parents grief this early morning, awake in cold and snowy Colorado. My heart aches for all of them. My youngest daughter is in college, getting her degree in elementary education. I have many family members who work in the education field. This hits into my heart. There are no words.

  9. Angie

    December 17, 2012 at 6:20 am

    It is just to much to comprehend isn’t it?

    My littlest one is in Kindergarten. I keep looking at her and crying as I think of those precious ones.

    I heard the Bells on Christmas Day, has been echoing in my mind as well. Our student choir sang it at church yesterday, so many of us openly weeping.

    Yes, the light always conquers the darkness.
    God is always good.
    And we wait for Jesus to come again and take us home.

  10. Ashley

    December 17, 2012 at 6:22 am

    This is so beautifully written.

  11. Hollie

    December 17, 2012 at 6:40 am

    Thank you for this.

  12. Shannon

    December 17, 2012 at 6:58 am

    I’ve been listening to Casting Crowns’ “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” over and over this weekend. And I’ve barely watched the news–just a little, sort of like peeking through your fingers during a scary movie. As they’ve released the names of the little ones, I’m like you, I just don’t think I can completely let my mind go there.

  13. Megan

    December 17, 2012 at 7:02 am

    AMEN!

  14. Lori H

    December 17, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Thanks so much. I am going to share this with my family tonight as part of Advent.

  15. Kelly

    December 17, 2012 at 7:17 am

    Amen.

    “And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Praise God!!

    • Elizabeth

      December 17, 2012 at 7:55 am

      This line is going to play on repeat in my mind. What hope we have!

  16. Katherine

    December 17, 2012 at 7:19 am

    Thank you for your words – a much needed balm for my soul this morning.

  17. Sarah

    December 17, 2012 at 7:21 am

    Very well said. It’s such a tragedy. But we have hope. This sick, sinful world is not the end. Even so Lord Jesus, come quickly!

  18. Kelly K

    December 17, 2012 at 7:32 am

    As another avid reader but infrequent commenter (this may be my first, I’m not sure), I agree with Kerry – you don’t know me, but your blog blesses my heart. Thank you for today’s post, and another reminder that not everything in the Bible is pretty – even the Christmas story – but EVERYTHING in the Bible is necessary, and ours. It follows what my pastor said yesterday in a sermon about 2 Samuel 9, the story of Mephibosheth. The reality of life is that it isn’t fair, and everyone will come upon hard times, some so hard they’re unimaginable to the rest of us. BUT…we always have a God who will provide for us, and take care of us, and welcome us home when we come to Him.

  19. Julianne

    December 17, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. So well said – you have spoken for so many today, Melanie. Beautiful and thought provoking. Blessings.

  20. Andrea @ Barbells and Buttercream

    December 17, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Thank you. I will be sharing this! I never watch the news…EVER. But people everywhere are talking about it. You can’t get away from it. And they all have the same question…why?! I am thankful that, though I cannot answer them their questions, I can turn them to The One who is The Answer.

  21. Steph B.

    December 17, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Thank you, Mel. Beautifully written reminders….

  22. Amanda @ Serenity Now

    December 17, 2012 at 7:44 am

    Beautifully said.

  23. Kathie

    December 17, 2012 at 7:51 am

    You post is going into my bible. Amen

  24. Mary

    December 17, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. I am off to school now, where I teach and two of my children attend. Thank you for so eloquently sharing your faith.
    As my friend, who just buried their 12 year old daughter, says “Every day with joy.” Still.
    Merry Christmas~

  25. Becky

    December 17, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Thank you. So beautifully well said.

  26. AnnaM

    December 17, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Thank you for saying what I wanted to say but couldn’t. I was waiting for your blog entry today. God bless you and your family and thank you for the comforting words. I have passed them on, with credit to you, to those that need them today.

  27. gwa1225

    December 17, 2012 at 8:06 am

    Perfectly said. Thank you.

  28. Meredith

    December 17, 2012 at 8:26 am

    “…the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Dang, Melanie. That’s beautiful.

    • Jenny

      December 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

      Yes… Lord Jesus, come again, quickly.

  29. Jody

    December 17, 2012 at 8:28 am

    I posted on my facebook this morning your words “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning” along with the scripture it references and a link to your site. Thank you for the reminder.

  30. nlynch

    December 17, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Amen.

  31. gulley

    December 17, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Such a beautiful and powerful post. Balm for all of our minds and souls and a reminder that we are His. Love you.

  32. Rachel

    December 17, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Amen! Thank you for this post!

  33. Meg

    December 17, 2012 at 8:41 am

    Wow — that was everything I hoped you would post, times a trillion. Beautiful.

  34. Kristina

    December 17, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Newtown – not Newton.

  35. Jessica

    December 17, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Beautiful post. It is just too much to comprehend. But I also take comfort in the idea that we will all finally understand someday. And that those kids are now in God’s arms.

  36. Canadian Cathy

    December 17, 2012 at 9:00 am

    This will be a piece of writing that you are remembered for. I believe people will link up to and thousands of people will read your words.
    You have a gift.

    • joy

      December 17, 2012 at 10:54 pm

      a million times – yes!

  37. Karen Ward

    December 17, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Beautifully written. I still can’t comprehend how someone could shoot innocent, little children, much less adults. Praying for those babies’ families, as well as the families of the adults that were killed. Victoria Soto’s uncle lives not far from here.

    That song couldn’t be more perfect.

  38. Jennifer

    December 17, 2012 at 9:09 am

    What a meaningful and touching post! Thank you.

  39. heidig

    December 17, 2012 at 9:17 am

    Thank you, Melanie. The entire state of Connecticut feels this great nation’s prayers as we send our children to school this morning. We can’t tell you how much your prayers mean to us.

  40. Ann Marie

    December 17, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  41. Debra D.

    December 17, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Well said, Melanie. My son is a middle school teacher and now more than ever, we must remember to pray over our schools. We all have evil inside of us but by the grace of God and Jesus Christ, we also have redemption. I am thankful I serve a loving God and, while His heart is surely broken over humanity, this horrific act was no surprise to Him. God is still the answer to our hurts and if we choose Him, joy WILL come in the morning.

  42. Deb

    December 17, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Thank you, Melanie. Beautifully said.

  43. Jenn

    December 17, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Friend…I think this is my favorite thing you have ever written. Our God is good and He is faithful even in times of utter darkness and despair. Your words are a message of hope. Thanks for writing them. xoxo

  44. Tisha Ward

    December 17, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Thank you. May God give all of those touched by this horrible experience peace and comfort. Thankful to God that we are His and He will reign FOREVER!!

  45. Stephanie Rische

    December 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

    You have put words on what my heart has been feeling. Thanks for sharing this…what a beautiful weaving together of authetic grief and rock-solid hope.

  46. rrmama

    December 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Thank you. As my husband, who is a school teacher, and our young boys all left the house this morning I admit I was nervous. My whole world was walking out the door and headed to school. But I know God is in control. I know he is much bigger than my nervousness. He has all of us in his hand. I pray for each teacher today. I pray they have the words they will need to comfort their school babies. I pray God wraps his loving arms around each one of them today and safely returns them home.

  47. SC

    December 17, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Just beautiful! Thank you!

  48. Denice

    December 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Beautiful, Melanie! This is exactly what has been on my heart all weekend and you put it into words. Thank you so much!

  49. Carol Kind

    December 17, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Wow, what a powerful and beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing.

  50. Amy

    December 17, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Thank you for writing this. Going to go find my sheet music to “I heard the bells…” and play it on the piano. Dropped my kiddos off this morning and parked, got out, put my gloves on, and marched around the building praying and pleading the blood of Jesus.
    And I cannot wait for him to come back…as it says in this song from my church “Behold He comes, riding on the clouds, shining like the sun, at the trumpet call…”
    He is our warrior and our conqueror.

  51. Julie Fisher

    December 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

    Thank you for putting into words what I could not, and for always pointing the way to Christ!

  52. Carla

    December 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Beautiful. Tears are flowing as I trust God and pray for CT. It was so hard this morning to let my boys go to school today. Thank you for the reminder that God is in control. I love “a baby’s cry was a holy roar at evil.” My prayer is that through this tradgedy, this country sees our desperate need for God and turns back to Him – no, runs back to Him.

  53. Melanie Miller

    December 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Beautifully said, Melanie. Thank you for your words.

  54. Terry

    December 17, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

  55. Robin Dance ~ PENSIEVE

    December 17, 2012 at 10:27 am

    What you ended up writing is just beautiful; I started writing yesterday and I raced in a thousand directions, having so many COMPLICATED thoughts about it all.

    No, we are not home yet…and we do have hope, great hope.

    I love it when you write with your heart, Melanie…and I’m thankful for the memories you made with Caroline and your family.

    xo

  56. Kimberly/OKC

    December 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I got down to the ninth paragraph but I had to stop…I can’t. I just can’t. Will read your post at night time when I can go cry it out…again. Saving the mornings for happy right now…and I KNOW that making this small decision and to even to live my little happy life right now is a HUGE privilege because NO ONE in Sandy Hook can ignore or post phone one second of the Hell they are living.

    • Kimberly/OKC

      December 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

      Finally read the post this AM…seems I could have kept reading and been blessed yesterday but alas, that lump in my throat was physically painful yesterday. Thank you for expressing your heart and my heart and so many of our hearts. Jesus is the ONLY ANSWER!! HE IS EVERYTHING!! Do those parents know that all of us across the nation are grieving with them?! If they did, would it help? I don’t know. But I know your post helped ME with MY grief, and judging by the comments, it helped all of us who are so fortunate to read your words. Thank you, Melanie.

  57. Jane Jackson

    December 17, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Well Said! I Have seen several conversations on facebook discussing this issue. I wanted to reply back and started to do so, but as I began to type, I could not put all of my thoughts into words and express them in a way that is so thoughtful and perfectly on target the way you have! I hope you won’t mind if I share some of your words (of course, I will give you the credit!)because you do explain everything so well! I think that people who do not have a relationship with God and are not Christians are using this horrific act to better their cause. You truly explained the Christian view point so well, and I wish everyone could read it! Thank you for shedding His light on a very painful situation for all of us! God Bless!

  58. jeanine

    December 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Amen.

    Thank you.

  59. Fiddledeedee

    December 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Beautifully said my friend. I cannot even put words up on the screen, much less string my thoughts together in my own head.

  60. Jo Laine

    December 17, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Wonderfully written. God bless you this Christmas. Our world needs Jesus so much.

  61. Connielynn

    December 17, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Just simply. Thank you.

  62. Marsha Z

    December 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

    This was so needed that I shared it on Facebook. I especially loved the line “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

  63. Kayron

    December 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Thank you. I needed this.

  64. Claudia Martin

    December 17, 2012 at 10:59 am

    So beautifully written! After a weekend of weeping while reading the news it was wonderful to read your post. I sent an email to my family with a link – thank you!

  65. Misty

    December 17, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Melanie,
    Thank you for writing. Christ spoke through you today (well, last night as you sat on the couch). Thank you for writing about Herod’s baby slaughter. It’s horrible, evil and true. Evil is not a fictitional character. Satan is a murderer. A serial killer on the largest scale. John 10 “Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.”

    My favorite line: “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that though crying may last for a night, joy comes in the morning.” Well said.

  66. Dianne

    December 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Melanie-
    Thank you for this post. My husband love that song done by Casting Crowns and listened to it Friday night and both wept thinking about what happened.

  67. LeAnna

    December 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

    In a situation where there really are no words, you found some, and they were beautiful. I too recalled Herod and his part in the Christmas story. In my 41 years, I have only heard one sermon about this horror….ever. Yet, as I tried to comprehend what happened on Friday, that part is what came back to me. Jesus even from toddlerhood was no stranger to tragedy, unimaginable evil, and grief. And as sobering as that is, it is also comforting in a weird sense that He knows our sorrow…intimately. He loves, He cares, He is with us, and somehow He will cause all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

  68. Mandi

    December 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Well said.

  69. Karen

    December 17, 2012 at 11:22 am

    So well said, Amen.

    King Jesus, may your Kingdom come quickly.

  70. kristen

    December 17, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Thank you. You said it perfectly. And thank you for the words to that song.

  71. BethA

    December 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Beautifully said, Melanie.

  72. Melanie

    December 17, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Beautifully said from the heart of a mother. Thank you.

  73. Jaclyn Rose

    December 17, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Beautifully written. Thank you. Praying for Newtown.

  74. Jess

    December 17, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Thank you, Melanie. I needed this today. I just keep weeping and weeping but you are absolutely right. We know this is not our home and it’s never promised to be comfortable. Thank you for truth.

  75. QuatroMama

    December 17, 2012 at 11:58 am

    I was trying to utter something similar here,
    http://www.4tunate.net/2012/12/to-the-mom-who-is-anxious-about-leaving-your-kids-this-morning/
    but can I just copy and paste yours instead?

    Thank you for writing this today as we increase our faith, mourn with those who mourn, and proclaim Him.

  76. Page

    December 17, 2012 at 11:59 am

    I’ve read and loved your blog for a long time and never commented. This was truly beautiful. Thank you for writing this.

  77. Taylor

    December 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Beautiful post. The best one I’ve read in regards to the hurt we’re all feeling and the explanations everyone is seeking.

  78. Cara

    December 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    As a mom with 2 littles I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for saying something so beautiful and perfect, when I have been at a loss for words.

  79. Laura

    December 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Beautiful Melanie. Thank you for writing it.

  80. Sue S

    December 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Melanie, you have been given such a gift with your writing. Thank you so, so much for sharing this! It is so very beautiful.
    On Sunday, our pastor asked those who had a nativity scene in their home right now to raise their hands. Of course, every hand went up. He said keep your hand raised if you have an angel … a shepherd, … three wise men … a camel … at different times some hands would be lowered. Then, without missing a beat, he said, “King Herod”. Of course every hand was lowered immediately. And he also made the point about that horror being a real part of the Christmas story.
    Like so many others I love the line, “2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning” Wow.

  81. Emily

    December 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Thank you! You have a great gift and God has used you to speak a very meaningful message to us today.

  82. Julie

    December 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Amen!

  83. Lisa-Jo @lisajobaker

    December 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    yes, I haven’t been able to get the massacre by Herod out of my head either. This year, for the first time, I have the inkling of imagining what it might have been like.

  84. Holly Anne

    December 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    “..2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Wow. This is my fbook status today. Great great article!

  85. TerraD

    December 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    So beautifully said, Melanie.

  86. Jean Marie

    December 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    I know. I know, I know. Me too. I teach Sunday school, and I couldn’t stop the tears praying for the families in class. I put a song on this blog post, that is so adequate you would think it was written for this. I’m linking it here – http://www.sweetlifeunderthesavior.blogspot.com/2012/12/for-newtown.html

    Thank you for reminding us of the Truth!!

  87. JLS

    December 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Amen. How beautifully said. I weep for the families who have lost, but I am glad it is He holding all those dear ones in His arms today and forever.

  88. Ashley

    December 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Well said my friend.

  89. Lisa D.

    December 17, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Well said. 100% agree.

  90. Margaret

    December 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    thank you for this!

  91. Desiree

    December 17, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    “I know that there is no better time than Christmas to remember that God sent his son into the world to save us all from darkness and sin and certain death. And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Oh my word. Yes, yes, and yes. Amen.

  92. Donna

    December 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Amen and Amen!! Hope in God…

  93. Sarah at 32Flavors

    December 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    I’ve been thinking about those unopened presents, too. We go about our lives planning everything out, but we don’t know what’s around the corner. There’s no way to plan for what happened. Sweet babies. I pray we would all know God’s peace and comfort this Christmas, but especially that it will wash over all of those families of Sandy Hook and that he will truly hold them in the palm of his hand.

    • Phyllis

      December 17, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Amen, Sarah.

  94. Michaelann

    December 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Thank you, God is great and stronger than what we have witnessed!

  95. Jennifer Schmidt

    December 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Well written. I’ve never thought on the words of, “I Heard the Bells”, but it fits perfectly. Thanks for your sentiments.

  96. [email protected] Cooks

    December 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Melanie, this so beautifully put into words all the wildly swirling emotions that have been with us since Friday. I wept once more as I read this, but I hope that the faith and hope that comes through with the grief in your words will help us make a better way ahead. My heart breaks for those babies, those families, those teachers and our world. Thank you for helping us think about it in a prayerful, peaceful way. God bless.

  97. Alyson

    December 17, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Thank you Mel for the beautiful post. It took everything in me not to break down reading your post here at work. Your post did help bring some comfort though. We have to rely on God and our faith in him for the day will come when he will wipe away all of the evil that is in this world.

  98. Margaret

    December 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Well it’s clear that you were able to find your words because that was beautifully written. You are a gifted writer.

  99. Lauren Busbee

    December 17, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Thank you, Big Mama, for this post. You have so beautifully put into words the peace and hope that we can all have through Christ. Blessings and joy to you and your family this Christmas season.

  100. Lisa

    December 17, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Thank you.

  101. Sarah

    December 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    I love your blog. I think you have a genuine heart for Christ and a sense of humor that puts people at ease. Thank you for writing such a sweet and heartfelt post today. To be honest with you, I haven’t even dealt with what happened in CT because I can’t wrap my brain around how some one could do that and what those children and now their families were/are feeling. Your blog post actually helped me to put some perspective on everything. I’m flat out sick of seeing all the posts on FB and people using it as a political platform. So thank you again and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

  102. Phyllis

    December 17, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    You, sweet Melanie, fought the good fight today with this AMAZING post. I know God is so proud of you for ministering to a big community with your writing, and advancing the gospel with this one. Thank you. And this may be one of the most powerful sentences I’ve ever read in my life {and if I can learn to link, I’m sharing}: “And that 2000 years ago, the cry of a baby was a holy roar letting evil forever know that weeping may last for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”

    Joining this entire community of yours in sorrow AND in prayers.

  103. Nicole Glover

    December 17, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Oh Melanie, amen and amen. xo

  104. Amy Bramhall

    December 17, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Beautifully said Melaine!

  105. Elle

    December 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Thank you, thank you. Your words have expressed the cry of my heart and the tears I have shed. You are a gift from God to a world that needs, at times, laughter….and at other times, a safe place to cry. So glad this blog is here….

  106. Lindsay Safran

    December 17, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Melanie,
    Obviously you don’t know me but I love your blog and follow it religiously. It may be the very reason some cute items adorn my closet….all thanks to Fashion Fridays! 🙂 May I just say this post today is my absolutely favorite I’ve read concerning the tragedy in CT. You nailed it girl and very profoundly.
    Blessings to you and your family and a very Merry Christmas!
    Lindsay

  107. Leslie @GeekMama

    December 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    Beautifully written. And that’s one of my favorite Christmas songs because it’s so true. I, too, want to feel like I’m in control of everything that my children come in contact with, but this past year I’ve had such a burden to pray for them because, in my heart of hearts, I know that I’m not in control. I can stalk them for the rest of my life (and Facebook really helps with that, just ask my mother), or I can spend that energy learning to trust God. It seems like such an easy choice to make, but it’s actually difficult for me.

  108. Chantel

    December 17, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    I have to say that is very well written and made me cry. I don’t have children but have a niece and 3 nephews and several “adopted” children. I have hugged and told every one of them that I love them. You were able to put into words what everyone has been wanting to say. Thank you very much……….

  109. Lisa

    December 17, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    This was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for reminding us all of what this season is about, how God is not dead, and that we only go on because of Jesus.

  110. Susan

    December 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    So, so, so well said. Thank you for speaking from your heart today. Grieving and praying with CT.

  111. Laura B

    December 17, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    I know that was a truly difficult blog to write. It is exquisite. Settles some peace over my heart, even after the lock down today. Thank you.

  112. Amanda

    December 17, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    Beautifully written. Thank you.

  113. elizabeth

    December 17, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Preach it sister. Our God is NOT dead. He will come back and wipe away every tear and redeem this broken place. Until then, I want to teach everyone around me that their is a Father who protects, heals and restores. He is alive and well! He came to give us life so let’s live! Blessings to you sweet girl.

  114. Laura

    December 17, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Oh how I needed to read your words tonight…Thank you for reminding me of the “rest” of the Christmas story. I feel lost as I try to make it through the day wondering what our world is coming to…And I needed your reminder that Jesus came to us in the dark, and He will come again. To cling to Him is all we can do, and I truly thank you for your post.

  115. Lesli

    December 17, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Melanie, this is truly exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you sweet friend for writing such heartfelt words. I read your blog and like so many other have never commented but felt the need to do so today. I am in my 21st year as a public school employee, and have had to separate myself from this tragedy as much as possible. It is exactly as you said…..I just can’t allow myself to go there.

    Your words soothed my spirit and again I thank you for them.

  116. Christy

    December 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Oh, what a gift you have – beautiful post.

  117. Denise

    December 17, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Thank you for your beautiful words. I had been thinking of those same words from “I heard the Bells on Christmas Day”, and also these from “This Is My Father’s World”:
    This is my Father’s World
    O let me ne’er forget
    That though the wrong
    Seems oft so strong
    God is the ruler yet!

    He is the Conqueror.

  118. Destiny

    December 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    May the Lord of all Creation come soon; this world leaves me longing for home…

  119. Christi

    December 17, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    I love this–so well said. As a mom and first grade teacher, this hit me so hard. Prayers and tears are flowing, yet God is so good.

  120. Lauren H

    December 17, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    Sometimes something is just from God & this post & your words are exactly what many of us needed to hear from God right now. Thank you, thank you.

  121. Jill

    December 17, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    Amen. So beautiful and so true. Thank you for this.

  122. Chris at the Resort

    December 17, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Malanie, you have spoken my heart. Thank you.

  123. Emily F

    December 17, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Thank you so much. This post finally helped me put this in perspective and lift up my head. God wins. In The End, He wins.

  124. Jennifer C

    December 17, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    This is one of the best responses this tragic event I have read. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  125. momof8

    December 17, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    Amen.

  126. teresa

    December 17, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Amen and Amen! Thank you so much for these inspired words.

  127. Erica

    December 17, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Thank you so much for your words. I love your blog for all the light-hearted everyday moments, but you really do write about the “deep” things with such clarity as well. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Truly, our Savior will come and have His victory over all these tragedies that break His heart. He “treads the winepress of the wrath of God,” and this evil and sin that we see in events like Friday’s will not be forgotten by our Just, Mighty, Loving God. Come, Lord Jesus!

  128. Mare

    December 17, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    I wrote about the same thing today….God is good and loving and hates evil as much as we do. In the end, He will set things right, and w do not need to despair, no matter how bad the suffering. We live in a fallen world. Enjoy your writing, so I subscribed to stay in touch!

  129. Barbara

    December 17, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    God definitely gave you the words for this post, dear Melanie! They were powerful and comforting all at the same time. Bless you.

    Missouri Barb

  130. Erica

    December 18, 2012 at 8:06 am

    I have had trouble reading, watching, thinking about anything having to do with this. But I knew you’d put it in words as well as my heart is trying to. You said it just right – exactly how I feel, and I applaud your bravery for putting it “on paper” as the rest of us just can’t. Thank you. I pray for your healing and peace, along with everyone else’s.

  131. Kristen

    December 18, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Thank you for writing. You give voice to so many moms’ feelings. I am a pastor’s wife and my husband’s sermon on Sunday was very similar to your post today. He came to redeem us. This is not our home. Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!

  132. jcristg

    December 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

    i’ve read this half a dozen times since yesterday morning. what a beautiful, beautiful post.

  133. Linda

    December 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

    I heard a psycologist say thre would be no trama as a nation or individuals in a week or 2. I was stunned because I know parents everywhere will never ever forget this. Does one ever forget death? My heart is so heavy for the families, the town, and the world. It is all blending together and I grieve and pray.

  134. Robin Baker

    December 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Thank you for this inspiring post. It certainly helped me to process this horrid event. I will share this with my family and friends.

  135. Betsy St. Amant

    December 18, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Wow. Thank you for this. Tears of sorrow and vicory, mingled.

  136. Shay

    December 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your comforting thoughts. Our hearts are broken for all of those who lost loved ones.

  137. Janmary, N Ireland

    December 18, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    I hope it is ok with you to share this at the Parents Prayer Meeting at our primary school on Thursday morning. Here in N Ireland we are very priviliged to be allowed to meet as parents in a public school once a month to pray for our school community – with the blessing and support of a Christian principal and many Christian staff.

    Our hearts go out to the parents and families involved in this tragedy.

  138. Holly in Houston

    December 19, 2012 at 12:16 am

    Beautifully stated.

  139. Debbie Aldridge

    December 19, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Melanie, this is absolutely the best piece I have read about this horrific event. Beautiful post. Really. Thank you.

  140. Beth A.

    December 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you Melanie – your words speak to all of us – from your heart and soul and are just what we need.

  141. dawn

    December 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    thank you for your beautiful post. amen, and amen.

  142. Abby

    December 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    So beautiful. I’ve avoided your blog for a few days because I knew I couldn’t read it without falling to pieces. This post is TRUTH straight from God. Thank you for this!

  143. Leslie

    December 21, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Very moving. Thanks for sharing. Such a tragedy. We live in CT 35 miles away from Newtown. Just terrible.

  144. http://iqracollege.Com

    December 27, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Hi there, after reading this awesome article i am also happy to
    share my experience here with friends.

Primary Sidebar

Who is Melanie?

Melanie ShankleMy name is Melanie and, in some strange twist of fate, I’m also known as Big Mama because I started this blog in July of 2006 when my daughter, Caroline, was not quite three years old and I was in the process of convincing her that BIG girls use the potty and BIG girls don’t have pacifiers, thus she thought BIG was the highest compliment in the land and began referring to me as BIG MAMA.Read More

Sign up here!

Which is your pleasure?

Categories

Events Books The Big Boo Cast Diary Fashion Friday

The Latest on Instagram

I’ll apologize in advance because the next few m I’ll apologize in advance because the next few months will have me awash in nostalgia as Caroline moves through the last of the firsts. ⁣
Tonight is the first high school soccer scrimmage of the season. The last first scrimmage. ⁣
And so I made her let me take a picture because she knows her mom is deep in my feelings as we round the corner of senior year. The fact that Perry jumped in was a bonus. ⁣
Also, she scored two goals. Go mules 💙⚽️💛
Look who’s officially a Fightin’ Texas Aggie. Look who’s officially a Fightin’ Texas Aggie. 👍🏻❤️⁣🎉
⁣
As a parent, I don’t know if there’s anything better than watching your kid have a dream and then seeing them work hard to make that dream a reality. She’s wanted to be an Aggie from just about the day she was born. It took a lot of blood, sweat, tears and prayer but she did it. ⁣
⁣
I couldn’t be prouder of our Texas Aggie. Gig’em! 👍🏻 #Classof2025
Eye of the tiger. Happy Halloween! Eye of the tiger. Happy Halloween!
So this photo session just happened today. I’m So this photo session just happened today.  I’m not crying, you’re crying. 💙💛💙#alamoheights #classof2021
Number of times I will get tired of watching Carol Number of times I will get tired of watching Caroline play soccer? ZERO. It is my favorite. ⁣
Add in a huge Aggie win over Florida and it’s been a nice little day. ⁣
Yay for sports!! ⚽️💙👍🏻🏈
This little guy running through the bluebonnets wi This little guy running through the bluebonnets with the unfortunate bangs he cut himself is fifty years old today. ⁣Those bangs speak volumes about who he would become. He never does anything halfway. 
⁣
I am so grateful that boy grew into a man who loves God, loves his family and leads us with unwavering loyalty and love. In a year full of chaos and uncertainty, he remains steadfast, solid and full of opinions he is never afraid to express. I’m thankful for all of it. Except maybe some of the opinions. ⁣
⁣
I also love that he hates social media and won’t see this until I say “Look! I posted about you on your birthday!”⁣
⁣
Happy 50th birthday, P! I love you. I’d say let’s grow old together except I think we already have. 😂❤️
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details.

The Latest on Twitter

TexAgs@TexAgs·

Texas A&M, Orange Bowl Champions 🏆

Reply on Twitter 1345590648980832256Retweet on Twitter 1345590648980832256533Like on Twitter 13455906489808322562264
Melanie Shankle@BigMama·

This has been me for the last three and a half hours.

Reply on Twitter 1345587806656204802Retweet on Twitter 13455878066562048022Like on Twitter 1345587806656204802193

Follow on Twitter

 



 

 

 

 

 



 

Footer

Stay Up to Date

Which is your pleasure?

  • About Me
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact

Copyright © 2021 · Website by Wordpress Barista

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

cokesbury-buttonfc-buttonlifewayMardelTyndale DirectBAMWalmartiTunes

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

iTunes

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

lifewayMardelBAM

Select an online retailer below.

Book Retailers
Book RetailersBook RetailersBook RetailersBook RetailersBook Retailers

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

cokesbury-buttonfc-buttonlifewayMardelTyndale DirectBAMWalmart

Order Yours Today!

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

cokesbury-buttonfc-buttonlifewayMardelTyndale DirectBAMWalmart

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.

Book Retailers

Book RetailersBook RetailersBook RetailersBook RetailersBook Retailers

Order Yours Today!

Select an online retailer below.