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Ten

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Dear Caroline,

Today you are ten years old. You’re officially in the double digits. These last ten years couldn’t have traveled any faster had we been in a DeLorean going 88 miles an hour. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

You don’t have grandparents that watch soap operas all day long, but my Me-Ma and Pa-Pa got me hooked from an early age. I have vivid memories of sitting on their living room floor and hearing Macdonald Carey say, “Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives” as the music swelled and I waited anxiously to see what shenanigans Stefano DiMera had up his sleeve. I never really understood what he meant by “sands through the hourglass” back then, but I know now.

Time is fragile. You can’t catch it. You can’t hold onto it. You can’t make it go backwards. It slips right through your fingers and you’re left wondering what happened to the last year or five years or ten years. You remember the high points and the low points, but it’s the every day moments that get lost in the shuffle. I would give my right arm to have one more morning with you as a chubby two year old cuddled up next to me watching Sesame Street.

These days you’re all arms and legs and angles. Your face has lost its little girl look and I can see your cheekbones and glimpses of the woman you’re going to become. You are so beautiful you take my breath away. And your laugh? You have the best laugh in the world. If I could bottle that sound it might singlehandedly eradicate all the sadness in the world. No matter what is going on in my life, your laugh never ceases to make me laugh too.

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This has been the year that one of my deepest wishes for you has finally been fulfilled. You’ve become a reader. Actually, not just a reader, you’ve become a lover of books. You finally get what it means to get so caught up in a story that you can’t put it down. And while this led to many school nights where you stayed up way too late, it’s also thrilled me because I so relate to what it feels like to have to read “just one more chapter”. Granted, your taste tends to lean more towards action and adventure than mine ever did, but I don’t care if you never read Little House on the Prairie as long as you’re reading something.

In fact, when Sparkly Green Earrings came out this past year, you informed me that you downloaded it on your Kindle and began to read it. I was surprised, but pleased. I guess I always knew you’d read it one day, but I didn’t know that day would be so soon.

Every morning we’d laugh over something you’d read the night before, some little something you did when you were little. And then one night you met me in the bathroom with tears in your eyes. You said, “Mama, I was just reading the part about how you cried when I went off to Kindergarten and now I’m so sad I ever went to Kindergarten.”

Well. I didn’t see that coming.

I hugged you and replied, “But Kindergarten turned out to be awesome. Remember how much you loved it? And how great it was? I was just crying because it was new and different.”

You thought about that for a minute before your words came out in a tearful jumble, “Yes, but that was when I was five and now that’s almost been five years ago and I just feel like I’m growing up too fast and I don’t ever want to leave you and Daddy.”

Oh my heart.

That’s when what I wanted to say, “Then don’t ever leave. Just live with me forever and we’ll hope we don’t end up like Big and Little Edie in Grey Gardens.”

But that isn’t really an acceptable answer.

So instead I said, “But I love that you’re growing up! It’s so much fun to see the person you’re becoming and God has big plans for you. And I know it’s hard to believe right now but a day will come when you’ll be ready to leave home and head out into the world.”

I’ll refer to it in my head as the day I’ll spend eating a donut in the back of my closet while crying.

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You wiped your tears and hugged me tight while I assured you that you will always be our little girl and there will never be a time that you can’t come running home when you need a respite from the real world. And I mean it. Daddy and I will always be here cheering you on no matter where life takes you.

Because here’s the thing. The world needs you. You are an amazing girl who embraces all that life has to offer and is never afraid to say exactly what’s on your mind.

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God created you with a plan and a purpose. I look at you and see a fearless girl who’s ready to take on life. You’re the perfect blend of sweet and stubborn, funny and tender, sarcastic and sensitive. You are more than I ever asked for or could ever have imagined. And I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for you.

Here’s what I know for sure. You’re going to be awesome at being ten.

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Daddy and I love you more than you’ll ever know. These last ten years have been gift beyond comprehension. And of all the things I get to do in life, being your mom is at the top of the list.

Love,
Mama

The song is Stars by David Crowder

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  1. wow!!! what a precious and encouraging love letter to your daughter…I have no words…just tears…so tender and heartwarming…thank you for sharing .

  3. That is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I’m sure Caroline will cherish those words.

  4. I don’t know what it is about them turning 10 that makes it all seem like you blinked and looked away for a spilt second and now they’re big.
    Beautiful letter for a beautiful girl!

  6. Dear Melanie –

    This entry touched my heart so very deeply. God did create Caroline with a plan and purpose, and the world does indeed, need your precious girl – as well as you! The two of you make an awesome dynamic duo – well, minus the masks and capes!

    Through your blog and Sparkly Green Earrings book (get a move on, and finish the second!), you capture the beauty, challenges, laughter and the every day ups and downs between a mother and daughter (as well as father, grandparents, best friend…….!). You have an amazing gift of pouring out your soul so as to touch the hearts of others, while making your readers both laugh and cry.

    Thank you for following your heart, your dream and God’s plan!

    Blessings to you and your sweet family.

    Lynne B.

  8. I teared up. My daughter is only five and I already have the feeling “I’d give my right arm to watch Sesame Street with you cuddled next to me”.

  9. Happy birthday sis! We love you and are so happy to share life with you. You make everything more fun and give us great advice! We love you!!
    Gulley, Jon, Jackson, and Will

  10. No, the day she leaves home you won’t spend it in the back of the closet eating A donut. You will spend it eating A BOX of donuts. Been there, done that. Lol. Happy Birthday to your lovely Caroline!

    • Yeah, and when she gets married and leaves for a week on her honeymoon, you’ll be in tears for 3-4 days…but let’s don’t think about that yet.

  11. Oh my gosh, the little cherry dress and the little chick costume. I don’t know if my heart can take it.

  12. I forwarded this to my, newly turned 21 year old, daughter. I attached a note, through tears, that this could have been addressed to her, but I’m no writer! What a heartfelt note to Carolyn. Happy birthday Caroline.. And big Mama and P, congratulations on your jobs as mama and daddy. Caroline sounds like a treasure!

  15. I am a long time reader, but once-a-year commenter, I think. I love your blog, and it has been such a blessing to me over the years to see a Godly family in action. I share my birthday with Caroline, and woke up this morning remembering that. Happy happy birthday from this stranger in SC! I hope your day is as awesome and memorable as my own tenth birthday (too many years ago)! Thank you for sharing your family with those of us who need the encouragement!

  17. Oh, tears. Happy Birthday Caroline. And you’ve inspired me. I’ve got 20 days to make a Ten video for my little, or not so little, man.

  19. Happy Birthday Caroline! Now I will get another tissue from the box! Thank you for using your writing gift God has given you and letting us in on glimpses of your life.

  20. Happy Birthday Caroline! You are a precious girl surrounded by people who love and adore you, so very blessed you are! I loved getting a glimpse into your life, the picture of you asleep in the pumpkins made me laugh out loud, the piggy tails you wore through the years with your darling bows, too much! Your love for life shines through your face, never stop smiling or laughing sweet girl! I’m with your mom, God has amazing plans for your life for sure! Enjoy the celebration of YOU! : )

  21. Happy birthday Caroline! What a wonderful tribute. I know how you feel, Melanie. My “little boy” turned 20 yesterday. It is just a breath!

  22. Beautiful!!!! What a gift you have given your daughter with your writing!!
    Happy Birthday, Caroline!!!

  24. gah. Pass the kleenex. My oldest turns ten in Novemeber. God help me. I cannot believe how fast the time has flown.

    This was so beautiful.

  27. Happy birthday, Caroline! Melanie, thank you so much for posting things like this. My daughter is two, and sometimes I forget that she won’t always be little enough to do things like cuddling up and watching Sesame Street. It’s a good reminder to slow down a little bit and enjoy her more! You have such a beautiful relationship with Caroline, and she is so lucky to have you as a mom!

  29. What a wonderful Mom you are to pay such loving tribute to your daughter. Do be sure and save this for her. My daughter has kept a journal where she jots something in it every day for her daughters from the day they were born. The journals are mounting up, but can you imagine what a priceless treasure that will be one day for her daughters? That’s real love.

  30. I look at my rather tall 2.5 year old little boy, and I get glimpses of these same feelings, that he’s growing up too fast, that he’s lost that chubby baby look, that time is flying. I’m going to be a wreck on the first day of school! :~)

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful words to Caroline … I LOVE that this year marked the year that she turned into a lover of books!

    Happy birthday, Caroline! Your life is abundantly blessed with so much love around you!

  31. An amazing, beautiful letter from an amazing, beautiful Mom to and amazing, beautiful daughter. The way you wrote about the passing of time was spot on, and so from the heart. Thank you for sharing it with all of us!!

    I wrote posts as birthday letters to my daughter at age 3 in May and my son at age 5 in July. I cannot imagine writing one at age 10…and I know that day will arrive long before I’m ready for it!

  32. You know, for some reason every time you mention your daughter, which is fairly often, I feel she is a kindred spirit somehow. I thought that might be just because her name is the same as mine and I would just naturally feel connected to it when I see it written (though I refuse to feel a connection to Caroline Bingley in P&P. She is an imposter). What a wonderful surprise to find we share the same birthday too! I hope she has a fabulously blessed birthday!

  34. Happy 10th Birthday, Caroline! I had the pleasure of meeting you at your mom’s book-signing in Houston last February. You are a lovely young lady and I hope your birthday is everything you hope it to be!

  36. Beautiful, just beautiful!

    It made me wipe my eyes and grin so wide at that same time. Mine are 8, 5 and 8 months and I know they will each be “two hands” before I know what hit me. What a precious ode to enjoying every minute.

    Happy Birthday Caroline and Happy 10 years of being a mama!

  39. Happy 10th Birthday Caroline! Beautiful letter. Yes, life goes fast & treasure each day. Have a blessed day with family & friends.

  40. That’s wonderful, Melanie. My little girl is starting school in 11 days and I’m either handling it really well, or in total denial. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate and live everyday to the fullest even when I’m totally overwhelmed and exhausted. Happy Birthday to your precious daughter.

  41. I need a kleenex. What a beautiful tribute to your girl. We are all thankful for Caroline and her funny stories.

    And if the doughnuts are Shipley’s, I’ll come join you in that closet.

  42. First, happy birthday wishes to Caroline! Second, what a beautiful way you expressed your love to your daughter. You have a God given gift and have used it so beautifully in this post. Made me tear up and remember/reflect on feelings I had when my (2) daughters, now 28 and 24 were growing up.

  43. Happy birthday, Caroline! Melanie, this brought tears to my eyes! “The days are long but the years fly by.”

  44. Oh my word. My only child is 11 and starting middle school in a couple of weeks. I can’t stand it! Beautiful post.

  45. I have a beautiful 10 year old daughter too, and your words really touch my heart. I’ve started saying to her what you’ve said to Caroline- God has great things for you! I’m always here for you, but God intended for you to grow up and use your life for his Glory….as much as I want those years back of innocent play and funny little words, of chubby cheeks and pig tails…. I also have been able to celebrate the stage of life that 10 brings, and I’m thankful for your encouragement in doing just that.

    You have a beautiful daughter! Hope she had a great birthday.

  46. HAPPY HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY CAROLINE!!!! 🙂 <3

    Such a beautiful post Melanie, and the slideshow (video) was just beautiful. Thank you for sharing xoxo

  47. Happy birthday to your girl!

    It touched me to read this and see your pictures. I have been thinking of what my baby would be….I had a miscarriage in January 2003 and our first child was due August 6….so she would be turning 10 next week too.

    The years go so fast!

  49. Just precious. Thank you for sharing such a tender part of your life. Enjoy every moment of every day of every year. Ours are 28, 25 and 23….and it all went by in a blink….blessings on you for making us laugh and today, making us cry sweet tears with you.

  51. Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter. I have a 9 year old granddaughter named Caroline and she is the light of my life. If you have time someday would LOVE to know what books your Caroline likes. Somehow my suggestion of Nancy Drew isn’t getting much interest.

  52. And she gets it…from reading your book…that is about her.
    Oh, my heart.
    Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

  53. I started reading your blog 5 years ago, a few days before I was scheduled to give birth to my very own Caroline. She will be 5 on Monday and I can’t believe that your Caroline will be 10! My favorite memory of her from your blog is the video you posted right before she went to kindergarten…something about what they’d serve for lunch, I believe. I cannot fathom the fact that I’m now getting ready to send my Caroline off to kindergarten in 10 short days.

    Happy Birthday, Caroline!! (yours and mine)

    (now I’ve gotta go back and watch that video again…and laugh. 😉

    -Jennifer (fellow Caroline mommy)

  55. I’m a blubbering mess over this post which is so beautifully written! Happy 10th birthday sweet Caroline! ????

  57. Just beautiful! Thank you, Melanie, for sharing your heart, family, and life with us…you bless us readers soooo much!
    Caroline…Happy Birthday!! You are a darling young lady that we’ve all been blessed to see a glimpse of your life, thanks to your sweet mama. Blessings and big hugs from Iowa!!!

  58. Well – I am a WEEPY mess after that video.
    And I’m thinking about waking my girls up to hug them.

    I’ve loved watching Caroline grow. She is so beautiful. Just like her momma.

  62. Tears. It goes by so quickly. As my daughter’s 3rd birthday approaches this fall, reading this post and looking at your pictures, I just know that it’s going to be her 10th waay too quickly. Way before I’m ready. Childhood is fleeting!

  63. What a beautiful tribute to your girl! I’m emotional at the thought of preshool in the fall, so I can only imagine how it was with kindergarten! She’s a beautiful young lady and you’ve done well, Mama!

  65. A beautiful post. I just know your words will be of great encouragement to Caroline…now, of course, but even more so when she’s older and has the opportunity to look back…and remember. We all have those frustrating times as Moms…this post focuses on all that is wonderful and innocent and pure about children and parents and the relationship between them.. You are doing a good thing…investing in your daughter’s life…and recording these messages for her to have later. So precious.

  66. Well, you coulda warned a girl about needing a box of tissue before reading this!

    Happy Birthday, Caroline!

  69. Coming from the mom of 2 sons, who are now in their 20’s, this post made me cry. Thanks for sharing and happy birthday Coroline!

  70. Dang, you made me cry! My baby girl is 20 and living in a different country and I miss her so much my heart aches. It does go too fast. But isn’t it a wonderful journey?

  71. “My precious child, do you know how much I cherish you? do you know how much I count each overheard burst of laughter, each good night hug, each moment I get to spend with you as a perfect blessing?” –Maggie Lindley. Just thought I’d share. I saw this quote on a block and wanted it for my daughter. What a beautiful letter to Caroline. What a great life you are giving her. Happiness and love and values and boundaries. Keep talking to her and keep being her friend. I have a daughter who is 16 now and I am becoming more and more convinced that keeping the lines of communication open is the key to her well-being and her obedience to rules. When she understands why and that we love her, she WANTS to please us. And isn’t that how God motivates us to live? I always wanted to believe that my daughter and I could retain a good relationship even through the teen years and it truly is working out that way. (and it’s not because she’s a clingy weird nerd who can’t live without Mommy) So there you go…some advice you never asked for but hey…no charge!! LOVE YOU, LOVE YOUR BLOG! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAROLINE!!!!

  72. I feel your pain sista as my youngest, my baby, turns 10 this week too. This post tore me up. As a kid, I always thought the whole “where does the time go?” was such an old person thing to say. But now? Now I get it and I just want it to SLOW DOWN. 🙂
    Happy Birthday Caroline! Thanks for letting us watch your story unfold through your mama’s blog and now book. 🙂

  73. When my grandson turned 10 (he’s our old soul grandchild ). He said “wow Nana look how fast I got to 10……just think how fast I’ll get to 20”. He now is 17 !!!!

    Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

  74. She is precious, in every sense of the word! My daughter is 20 months old, and we are in the middle of the “cuddle up and watch Sesame Street together” phase. Thank you for reminding me to soak it all in, even on “those” days.

  75. Goodness, your letters to her always make me cry!!! Will you write me a letter on my birthday?! Like if I give you 10 things about myself, can you use them and give me my own Big Mama Birthday Letter?! Actually you really did inspire me to write letters to my kids on each of their birthdays (and I’ve been reading your blog long enough to it started on my daughter’s first, and now I’m due w/ #3 in October) and of all their scrapbook things I’ve done, going back and reading those letters is already my favorite. I’ve never thought to comment and tell you that, but you really inspired me to do this for my own kids! Oh, and happy birthday Caroline!!!

  77. “Hope we don’t end up like Big & Little Edie…”, laughter through tears is my favorite emotion! It’s amazing how hard you can cry over 2 people you don’t know! Now I’m off to cuddle my chubby 2 year old 🙂

  81. Wow! Your best ever! I am crying… I have 2 little boys, and I dread the days of their little precious ways ending… It all goes so fast… Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

  82. It’s wonderful she’s 10 but when she’s 16 will she appreciate all this stuff that’s online about her? And people gawking at her? Worth think about. Privacy.

    • Awwww. Don’t spoil Melanie’s beautiful letter to her child. .My guess is she will know what a great mom she has and will love her for it.

  85. So precious. Love, love the video! I have to say, tho, that it doesn’t get easier as the years go by. You will cheer her on even as you have tears in your eyes.

  86. Happy 10th Birthday, Caroline! I don’t know you personally, but I can see through your Momma’s eyes what a great young lady you are. What a lucky girl you are to have such an amazing mother! My own little girl is now a mommy herself…yes, the years pass by more quickly than anyone could ever imagine! I think about all the times we watched Sesame Street together, and how we used to read Little House on the Prarie before bedtime at night, and I ache for those days again. But I see her now getting to have those times with her own little baby boy, and I know that now she will realize how precious those times were and are still for me. Oh, I do miss her being a little girl and her younger brother being a little boy and running around the house laughing and having fun. I wish I’d had a video camera back then…one that worked, anyway. I’m so glad to see that your momma does indeed cherish every moment with you. It’s a beautiful thing! So…God bless you and your precious family, and I hope that being 10 is all you want it to be and more! Melanie, thank you for sharing. Your words always touch my heart.

  87. Happy Birthday Caroline! You are blessed to have the best mom and dad. I love the bows and spangles pictures for your mother and horrid, awful, giant snake and gaggle of fish for your dad. How they managed to have a daughter who fulfills both parents dreams of what they’d want in a child is pretty amazing.

  88. Beautiful. Happy birthday Caroline! It’s been amazing “watching” her grow up as I have read your blog for years. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  90. Baby Caroline’s chubby cheeks are the best and 10 year old Caroline is beautiful! What a fantastic video to have!

  93. Oh my goodness, just read Sparkly Green Earrings in one day and couldn’t get enough of it! Hurry up with book number 2. Happy Birthday to Caroline! My daughter’s birthday is the following day and she just turned 9. My heart hurts as well…

  94. So beautifully written. And since my little girl who’s now 36 and my little boy who’s now 39 each got married within the last 13 months that didn’t make me cry at all! And I havea bridge for sake in new Orleans if you buy that.

  97. These letters always make me shake cry! And this one especially did. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to read your blog like I used to my freshman year of college when I found this sweet little space on the Internet. That was four years ago and my how time does fly! You are so precious, Melanie! And your Caroline sure is something else.

    Love.