Author: Big Mama

Today was one of those winter days in Texas when the temperature hit eighty degrees and I sat out on the back porch with my bare feet soaking up the sunlight. It was enough to make me feel like it’s springtime which will make it only that much more cruel when the rain and cold come back in by tomorrow night.

The good news is we’re finally getting back to normal here. Caroline is officially over the flu and even Mabel got her stitches out yesterday and is back to voraciously patrolling the backyard to defend us from men with beards and hats.

But the biggest thing going on over the last few days was a little road trip Gulley and I made to Dallas to see Jen. We’d been trying to figure out a time to go ever since we found out her cancer was back in early December, but wanted to wait until she’d settled into her new treatment schedule. And so we’d been going back and forth with possible dates until she finally just texted and asked, “What about this coming Monday?”

SOLD.

We left San Antonio at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Our original plan was 10:30 but I stopped at Starbucks for coffee and had a barista who apparently flew to Columbia to get the beans to make my latte and that delayed our departure. Gulley loaded her stuff in my car as soon as I pulled up and we hit the open road to Dallas. It’s about a four and a half hour trip and I will tell you there wasn’t even one moment of silence for the entirety of our time in the car. We hadn’t had much time to talk during the week since I was running a home for sick children and dogs and so we had all manner of topics to cover, including that I decided I couldn’t watch this season of The Bachelor when I saw the beginning of the episode when he put on a hoodie without a shirt on under it. That’s not a real outfit.

True to our road trip ways, we stopped in Waco for Popeye’s chicken and I’m sad to report that Chip and Joanna Gaines were not there. I secretly hoped maybe Popeye’s was their after church dining spot, but I guess not. So we got back on the road with our chicken and continued on our way to Dallas.

As soon as we got there we headed straight to Jen’s house and spent some time with her before we met a group of friends for dinner.

We had the best time and laughed and caught up on life until we realized it was almost 10:00 and none of us are used to being out that late these days, plus we had to be up early the next morning for Jen’s day at the hospital.

Mondays are her treatment days which is why we chose to make the trip when we did. Especially when Jen spoke my love language and told me that this particular Monday was going to be one of the more interesting medical days because they were going to run a lot of different tests throughout the day. She’s part of a clinical study and so her treatment days aren’t always the same depending on what information they need to gather, but they are always long – usually beginning by 8:00 a.m. and lasting until 5:30 or 6:00.

Our friend Jamie met Gulley and I at Starbucks and then we drove to the hospital to meet Jen. She was getting an initial blood draw but then they eventually moved us into what her nurse referred to as our own private “party room”. It seriously oversold what was basically a small patient room, but we were so thankful to have our own little place to set up camp with all our snacks and drinks where we could spend the day.

And that’s what we did. We laughed and told stories and solved problems and had ourselves a complete therapy session before the day was over. And there were moments I’d almost forget why we were there until the nurse came in to do a blood draw or Jen’s oncologist came in and handed her a “Cancer Sucks” pin to wear. That part? The part where we were all sitting in an oncology ward in a hospital? Does not compute.

But the thing about being with dear friends is you can have fun just about anywhere. This was never more evident than when Jen’s nurse had to come in and tell us we all needed to be a little quieter because we were laughing and talking too loud. It just goes to show some things don’t change even when one of you has cancer.

Over the course of the day Jamie’s sister Jennifer and her daughter stopped by to check on Jen and our friend Hite brought us lunch. Then Jen’s friend C brought Lincoln up to visit his mama. And he got us all so tickled when he informed us he didn’t like Jesus because he has bad hair. Gulley suggested maybe Jen needs to find a picture of a better coiffed Jesus to show him in the future since it’s clear the one he’s seen might present a Jesus in need of a hairbrush.

It was a short trip but we packed it full of so many sweet memories and good laughs and the reminder that nothing makes you realize what’s truly important in life than being with the friends that you’ve known and loved for decades.

***Giveaway is now closed and winners have been notified by email! So if you haven’t heard from me, go ahead and order yourself a copy of Home is Where My People Are!***

Here are your random numbers:

44 610 194
Timestamp: 2015-01-20 04:14:37 UTC

Last year my dear friend Sophie and I were writing books at the same time. In some ways this was good because we could share all our neurotic thoughts and continually reassure each other that we had “plenty of time” before our deadlines even though the truth was those dates were creeping incredibly close on the calendar.

But my very favorite part was getting to read Sophie’s words as she wrote them. She’d usually send me an email that said something along the lines of “I think this whole thing might be terrible, but why don’t you read it and let me know what you think?” And then I’d read it and laugh or cry or just nod my head and feel a lump forming in my throat from the tenderness of it all.

Because the thing is, my friendship with Sophie began because I love the way she writes. And then I got to know her in real life and discovered her writing is the closest thing to being in a room with her listening to her tell stories. So to get to read her words as she wrestled with them and edited them (She is a world-class editor. I know because I basically had her do the initial edits on my book.) and told all of these stories about the roads and the people that became her home on the road of life was such a gift.

Home is Where My People Are is the perfect read this winter when it’s cold outside and you’re looking for something to warm you up from the inside out. It’s about family, friends and all the people you meet along the way who leave a mark on your life. If you’re from the South, it will feel like home and if you’re not, it’ll make you wish you were. Home is Where My People Are is funny, charming, heartwarming and just an all-around great read. You’re going to finish it and then buy a copy for your mother and your grandmother and your aunt and your best friends and your hair stylist.

It’s available right now at almost all the assorted booksellers that you can imagine and also in your local brick and mortar bookstore or you can download it on your preferred electronic reading device.

Here are a couple of links for your convenience where the book is already in stock:

Barnes & Noble

Amazon

Books-A-Million

Parable

Tyndale Direct

And here are a couple of places you can find the ebook all ready to go:

Amazon

iBooks

Best of all, if you order it before January 31, there’s a vast array of free things you can get as a way to say thank you. Just click here to find out all the details and you can even download the first chapter for a sneak peek here.

And I’m giving away THREE COPIES of Home is Where My People Are today. Just leave a comment and I will choose three people at random. But the deal is that I’m closing comments at 5:00 p.m. on Monday, January 19th because that way you can go ahead and face your disappointment and then order it if you don’t win.

I know you’re going to love it as much as I do.

This will not go down as one of my favorite weeks in recent memory. I’ve had a sick child, a post-op dog and the weather has been cold and dreary. I’ve barely been out of my pajamas in days.

But then two good things happened:

1. The sun came out today. Hallelujah and amen. Mama needs her vitamin D.

2. The nice people at Barrington Gifts sent me the most gorgeous leather tote bag. It’s called the St. Anne Tote in Florentine leather and I cannot even tell you how much I love it.

It even has my monogram on it.

I made Caroline get off the couch yesterday to take those pictures because I’d actually had to get dressed to go speak to the PTO at her school while she stayed home sick. I felt like such a gorgeous bag deserved more than being paired with the pajamas pants I’d been in for two days. Or three days. Who’s counting?

Also, that’s Mabel’s head in the bottom of that second picture because we are Big and Little Edie and no one puts baby in a corner. See what I did there? I did a mash up of Grey Gardens and Dirty Dancing. I’m thinking it may be the first in history.

(Edited to add: The sweater I’m wearing is the chevron stripe sweater from Anthropologie. It’s sold out online, but you might be able to find in stores.)

I can’t even tell you how much I love this tote. It’s so well-made and the smell has caused me to hold it close to my nose repeatedly while I say, “I have many leather-bound books and my office smells of rich mahogany.”

This is my first experience with Barrington Gifts, but I already have so many plans for the future. Check out all of these fab options.

The blackwatch plaid collection feels like what Kate Middleton would do. WWKMD?

The glen plaid is divine.

And there’s even a game day collection where you can choose your school’s color and your favorite pattern.

Or you can choose different fall colors and patterns from the fall fashion collection. The bottom line is you should go spend some time on their site to play around with all the great choices. I’ve been obsessively creating new bags for the last 45 minutes and had to stage an intervention with myself.

However, my computer has let me know in no uncertain terms that it needs this case in the Navajo Mesa collection.

As for other fashion finds this week…

1. just comes neutrally sweater

I love a neutral sweater. Especially one with interesting detail.

2. boiled wool wrap jacket

This jacket is so cute and practical and, like everything at Anthropologie right now, an extra 40% off with code EXTRAEXTRA at checkout.

3. rosalind velvet gown

This is another Anthro item that’s 40% off. I have no place for it in my life but I wish I did. I will remember it fondly for years to come and think of what could have been if I only had a life that involved more than sitting on my couch at night eating Hershey’s special dark bars.

4. handknit star-stitch cardigan

I featured this before but I still adore it and think someone needs it. Plus it’s now 40% off the sale price which makes it almost free.

5. lace trim trapeze slipdress

I was watching the new Fixer Upper the other night and Joanna Gaines had one of these tops on with jeans. And I almost squealed because it confirmed she is my fashion spirit animal.

You don’t even want to know how excited I got when she was wearing my very favorite Keep Me tee from Free People a few scenes later.

6. magic leggings

Okay. These leggings. I love them so much but they’re different from the Hue leggings from Nordstrom that I also adore. These are not cotton, maybe a little spandex-ish like tights? Yet they are a legging and totally opaque. I love wearing them under anything that might be a little clingy because things don’t stick to them like they do cotton leggings.

Best of all, they’re only $20. And they’ll never fade because they’re not cotton.

7. free people embellished mini slip

I saw this in Nordstrom the other day and desperately wished I had a fancier life. Actually, that’s not true because that would require me to make small talk at cocktail parties and such. So maybe I just wish I could justify wearing this around my house because it is so pretty.

And it’s on sale for $58.49. Buy it now and you’ll be so happy to have it for holiday parties next year.

8. slouchy hooded cardigan

Urban Outfitters is having a huge end of season sale with tons of great markdowns. This great cardigan comes in several colors and is only $39.

9. vintage flannel checked tunic dress

How cute is this? I have no idea how long it really is, but I think it has potential to be cute all by itself with tall boots or with leggings under it. It’s on sale for $49.99 and comes in a few other color options. I just really like this one.

10. old navy jersey shift dress

Love these easy dresses from Old Navy. Perfect to throw on and add a jacket and boots now or to wear with Converse and a denim jacket as the weather warms up. Lots of cute colors and patterns.

That’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.

Yesterday around 3:45 p.m. I awarded myself the highly coveted BEST MOM EVER award which was not coincidentally around the same time Caroline and I sat in the pediatrician’s office and he said it looks like she has the flu.

I decided late last night that I was going to let her stay home from school no matter what because she woke up around midnight crying and telling me her whole body ached which is totally uncharacteristic for her. So I turned off the alarm and decided we’d just sleep in. Sadly, no one gave Piper or Mabel the memo because they were raring to start the day at 5:15 a.m. I managed to hold them off until 6:00 but then Piper took things up a notch by leaping into the bed and landing on my head and that tends to wake you up for good.

So I got up, fed the puppies and started my day. Mabel was supposed to see the vet at 9:00 a.m. but the office called and said her doctor was sick but I could drop her off and the other doctor would see her when he could. And so I threw on some clothes and drove her to the vet which is just a whole other level of crazy. Mabel already tends to be a little high strung and co-dependent, but now that we’ve basically been glued at the hip for almost a week, the two of us are a house of cats away from being Big and Little Edie living in Grey Gardens. She wasn’t happy when the vet tech came to take her away and I thought for one horrifying moment she was about to attack the old Australian shepherd who wanders freely around the vet office.

After that bit of drama, I made a stop at Starbucks to get coffee for me and a frappuccino for Caroline and then made my way back home. Caroline was awake and we spent the next hour or so lying on the couch while I tried to decide if I should take her in to see the doctor. Then, right about 11:00, she looked at me and said, “I think I’m going to go lie down and take a nap in the bedroom.”

ALERT. ALERT. SHE TRULY FEELS HORRENDOUS.

This is a child who has voluntarily gone to sleep approximately three times in eleven and a half years. And so I tucked her into bed and immediately called the doctor’s office for an appointment. The doctor looked her over, listened to her symptoms and declared that she either has a mild case of the flu since she got the flu mist or a flu-like virus, but it didn’t make sense to test her since it’s past the point for Tamiflu.

We left the doctor’s office and made a quick stop by the vet so I could run in and pick up Mabel whose whole body began to shake when she realized Big Edie was there to pick her up. She was so excited that she dragged me to four different cars before I finally got her loaded into mine.

I took my sick girls home, put one on the couch and the other in her dog bed. Everyone took their medicine and I decided the only appropriate thing to do was make homemade mac and cheese for dinner. We all needed a little comfort in the form of carbohydrates. I think the lesson here is I need everyone to get well or I’m going to have to go see a cardiologist.

And as I write this, Piper has once again discovered her new favorite place in the world.

She believes it’s the perfect place to warm up right after you’ve eaten the three Hershey Kiss foil wrappers that your mom accidentally left on the coffee table.

Well today was another day in the Shankle convalescent ward. Except now we’ve added Caroline to the mix.

This morning was kind of chaotic because, well, dog rodeo. We have one dog with a bunch of stitches and an obsessive/compulsive disorder, one that can’t decide if she wants to be inside with her sister or outside barking at dogs that walk by, and one that is just barely hanging on and recently decided he can no longer walk on the hardwood floors and waits to be carried inside.

It’s every bit as calming as you’d imagine.

As for Caroline, I knew she wasn’t feeling well because I am a very intuitive mother and picked up on her cues which looked a lot like her putting her head down on the kitchen countertop and moaning, “My whole body aches and my throat hurts.” But I sent her to school anyway because she didn’t have a fever and had some tests and projects she needed to work on.

This is where I always struggle as a mom. The line between too sick to go to school and declaring “You’re fine!” I mean I can tell when she’s really sick with a fever and the whole shebang, but it’s this middle ground that proves trickier.

When she was little I had this great trick where I would ask her about all her symptoms.

“Does your throat hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Does your stomach hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a headache?”

“Yes.”

“Does your elbow hurt?”

“Yes.”

And it was the claim of the hurting elbow that caused her claim of illness to jump the shark. It was brilliant.

The problem is these kids get smarter as they get older. She’s on to me and my elbow inquiries. And, truthfully, I totally know she doesn’t feel great but is it bad enough to miss school?

I had a feeling she was going to call me before the day was over and so I ran to HEB to load up on groceries. I’m sad to report that it was basically the total opposite of a grocery cart filled with New Year’s resolutions and good intentions. It was basically the grocery cart that Little Debbie built because nursing Mabel back to health is causing me to stress eat.

Right about the time I finished at the store, Caroline called and she didn’t sound good. I drove to the school and picked her up. Then we came home and spent the rest of the day watching movies in our pajamas and maybe I ate some or four of the Hostess cupcakes I bought at the store.

Now I just have to decide if I need to take Caroline to the doctor tomorrow, but I guess I’ll just see how she feels tomorrow. However, I know for sure I have one doctor visit for the day because Mabel has a follow-up appointment at the vet to make sure everything is healing properly. From the looks of the haiku she wrote yesterday, everything is healing except her feelings.

“Sharp teeth, nasty smell
javelinas are so bad
I have some regrets.”

I’m sitting here watching the championship game and it’s halftime right now so I’m going to do my best to write before all my attention is focused on whether or not Oregon can come back. Or maybe just before I fall asleep on the couch.

Because you know what I’ve discovered? The line between taking care of a post-op dog and a nervous breakdown is very thin.

Here’s the main problem. No one has bothered to let Mabel know that she is convalescing and should perhaps take it easy.

In case you haven’t listened to the podcast or follow me on Instagram or have my house wire-tapped, Mabel decided to take on a pack of javelinas at the ranch last Thursday afternoon. This was not a well-thought out plan and was no doubt fueled by the sheer adrenaline that is the cornerstone of Mabel’s personality.

I was in Houston for a speaking thing (Shout out to River Oaks Baptist School! Loved being with y’all.) when I received a text from P letting me know Mabel had been in a fight with some javelinas and he’d rushed her to the nearby vet where they took her in for emergency surgery. And in case you’re unfamiliar, this is a javelina.

When he takes the dogs to the ranch, P always lets them run behind the Polaris because they have energy to burn and they are big fans of a long run with a few side trails to chase rabbits or roadrunners or whatever. So he didn’t think much of it when they disappeared into the brush until they failed to come back. Then finally Piper popped out but Mabel wasn’t with her. Just as he turned back around to see where Mabel was, she came running out and that’s when he noticed her leg was bloody. He knew immediately it was javelinas.

He loaded her in her kennel and got her to the vet where they discovered her injuries went down to the bone. And so our poor Mabel is now the proud owner of a whole bunch of stitches, a cone of shame, and hopefully some lingering regrets that will cause her to never run into a bunch of javelinas again.

But I kind of doubt that last part because, well, Mabel is gonna Mabel.

As for the javelinas, it didn’t end well for them either because P was a man with a vendetta.

Mabel has spent the bulk of her time since then pacing aimlessly around the house in between writing poetry about the cruel nature of the animal kingdom. She’s especially proud of a piece she wrote entitled, “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?”

Meanwhile, Piper is quietly celebrating the fact that she is faster than her sister by wearing her best sparkly beret. It’s like the old story about being chased by a lion. You don’t have to be faster than the lion, you just have to be faster than the guy running next to you.

But every now and then we catch her staring into the fire and have no doubt she’s thinking, “Man, that could’ve been me.”

Or maybe she’s just thinking, “I wish they’d accidentally leave a block of cheese on the countertop again.”